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KAngsley 

The  water-babies,  illus.  by 
Linley  Sai  bourne 


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I 


THE 


WATEB-BABIES 

Jt  IFair^  ®al*  fax  a  lattfr-lalitr 


BY 


CHAKLES    KINGSLEY 


NEW  EDITION 
WITH    ONE   HUNDRED    ILLUSTRATIONS    BY    LINLEY   SAMBOURNE 


Nefo  fork 
THE  MACMILLAN   COMPANY 

LONDON :  MACMILLAN  &  CO.,  Ltd. 
1910 


Reprinted  September,  1895 ;  September,  1897. 
July,  1899;  August,  1900  ;  November,  igor;  March,  1904. 

New  edition  September,  1906;  March,  1907  ;  November, 
1910. 


tforfonotj  $«BB : 

Berwick  &  Smith,  Norwood,  Mass.,  U.S.A. 


Ljbiary,  Univ    o' 
North   Carolina 


TO 

MY  YOUNGEST  SON 

GRENVILLE   ARTHUR 

AND 

TO  ALL  OTHER  GOOD  LITTLE  BOYS 


COME   EEAD   ME   MY   RIDDLE,    EACH   GOOD   LITTLE   MAN  J 
IF   YOU   CANNOT   READ   IT,    NO   GROWN-UP   FOLK   CAN. 


"  I  heard  a  thousand  blended  notes, 
While  in  a  grove  I  sate  reclined  ; 
In  that  sweet  mood  when  pleasant  thoughts 
Bring  sad  thoughts  to  the  mind. 

"  To  her  fair  works  did  Nature  link 

The  human  soul  that  through  me  ran  ; 
And  much  it  grieved  my  heart  to  think, 
What  man  has  made  of  man. " 

Wordsworth. 


CHAPTEE  I 


[N"CE  upon  a  time  there 
was  a  little  chimney- 
sweep, and  his  name  was  Tom.  That  is  a  short  name, 
and  yon  have  heard  it  before,  so  you  will  not  have 
much  trouble  in  remembering  it.  He  lived  in  a  great 
town  in  the  North  country,  where  there  were  plenty 
of  chimneys  to  sweep,  and  plenty  of  money  for  Tom 
to  earn  and  his  master  to  spend.  He  could  not  read 
nor  write,  and  did  not  care  to  do  either ;  and  he  never 
washed  himself,  for  there  was  no  water  up  the  court 
where  he  lived.  He  had  never  been  taught  to  say  his 
3S  B 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


prayers.  He  never  had  heard  of  God,  or  of  Christ, 
except  in  words  which  you  never  have  heard,  and 
which  it  would  have  been  well  if  he  had  never  heard. 
He  cried  half  his  time,  and  laughed  the  other  half. 
He  cried  when  he  had  to  climb  the  dark  flues,  rubbing 
his  poor  knees  and  elbows  raw ;  and  when  the  soot 
got  into  his  eyes,  which  it  did  every  day  in  the  week ; 
and  when  his  master  beat  him,  which  he  did  every 
day  in  the  week ;  and  when  he  had  not  enough  to 
eat,  which  happened  every  day  in  the  week  likewise. 
And  he  laughed  the  other  half  of  the  day,  when  he 
was  tossing  halfpennies  with  the  other  boys,  or  playing 
leap-frog  over  the  posts,  or  bowling  stones  at  the 
horses'  legs  as  they  trotted  by,  which  last  was  ex- 
cellent fun,  when  there  was  a  wall  at  hand  behind 
which  to  hide.  As  for  chimney-sweeping,  and  being 
hungry,  and   being   beaten,  he   took  all   that   for  the 

way  of  the  world, 
like  the  rain  and 
snow  and  thun- 
der, and  stood 
manfully  with 
his  back  to  it 
till  it  was  over, 
as  his  old  donkey 
did  to  a  hail- 
storm ;  and  then 
shook  his  ears  and  was  as  jolly  as  ever ;  and  thought 
of  the  fine  times  coming,  when  he  would  be  a  man, 


I  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAKD-BABY  3 

and  a  master  sweep,  and  sit  in  the  public-house  with 
a  quart  of  beer  and  a  long  pipe,  and  play  cards  for 
silver  money,  and  wear  velveteens  and  ankle-jacks, 
and  keep  a  white  bull-dog  with  one  gray  ear,  and 
carry  her  puppies  in  his  pocket,  just  like  a  man. 
And  he  would  have  apprentices,  one,  two,  three,  if  he 


could.  How  he  would  bully  them,  and  knock  them 
about,  just  as  his  master  did  to  him ;  and  make  them 
carry  home  the  soot  sacks,  while  he  rode  before  them 
on  his  donkey,  with  a  pipe  in  his  mouth  and  a  flower 
in  his  button -hole,  like  a  king  at  the  head  of  his 
army.  Yes,  there  were  good  times  coming ;  and,  when 
his  master  let  him  have  a  pull  at  the  leavings  of  his 
beer,  Tom  was  the  jolliest  boy  in  the  whole  town. 


4  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

One  day  a  smart  little  groom  rode  into  the  court 
where  Tom  lived.  Tom  was  just  hiding  behind  a  wall, 
to  heave  half  a  brick  at  his  horse's  legs,  as  is  the 
custom  of  that  country  when  they  welcome  strangers  ; 
but  the  groom  saw  him,  and  halloed  to  him  to  know 
where  Mr.  Grimes,  the  chimney-sweep,  lived.  Now, 
Mr.  Grimes  was  Tom's  own  master,  and  Tom  was  a 
good  man  of  business,  and  always  civil  to  customers, 
so  he  put  the  half-brick  down  quietly  behind  the  wall, 
and  proceeded  to  take  orders. 

Mr.  Grimes  was  to  come  up  next  morning  to  Sir 
John  Harthover's,  at  the  Place,  for  his  old  chimney- 
sweep was  gone  to  prison,  and  the  chimneys  wanted 
sweeping.  And  so  he  rode  away,  not  giving  Tom  time 
to  ask  what  the  sweep  had  gone  to  prison  for,  which 
was  a  matter  of  interest  to  Tom,  as  he  had  been  in 
prison  once  or  twice  himself.  Moreover,  the  groom 
looked  so  very  neat  and  clean,  with  his  drab  gaiters, 
drab  breeches,  drab  jacket,  snow-white  tie  with  a  smart 
pin  in  it,  and  clean  round  ruddy  face,  that  Tom 
was  offended  and  disgusted  at  his  appearance,  and  con- 
sidered him  a  stuck-up  fellow,  who  gave  himself  airs 
because  he  wore  smart  clothes,  and  other  people  paid 
for  them;  and  went  behind  the  wall  to  fetch  the  half- 
brick  after  all ;  but  did  not,  remembering  that  he  had 
come  in  the  way  of  business,  and  was,  as  it  were, 
under  a  flag  of  truce. 

His  master  was  so  delighted  at  his  new  customer 
that  he  knocked  Tom  down  out  of  hand,  and  drank 


i  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  5 

more  beer  that  night  than  he  usually  did  in  two,  in 
order  to  be  sure  of  getting  up  in  time  next  morning ; 
for  the  more  a  man's  head  aches  when  he  wakes,  the 
more  glad  he  is  to  turn  out,  and  have  a  breath  of  fresh 
air.  And,  when  he  did  get  up  at  four  the  next  morn- 
ing, he  knocked  Tom  down  again,  in  order  to  teach 
him  (as  young  gentlemen  used  to  be  taught  at  public 
schools)  that  he  must  be  an  extra  good  boy  that  day, 
as  they  were  going  to  a  very  great  house,  and  might 
make  a  very  good  thing  of  it,  if  they  could  but  give 
satisfaction. 

And  Tom  thought  so  likewise,  and,  indeed,  would 
have  done  and  behaved  his  best,  even  without  being 
knocked  down.  For,  of  all  places  upon  earth,  Harth- 
over  Place  (which  he  had  never  seen)  was  the  most 
wonderful,  and,  of  all  men  on  earth,  Sir  John  (whom 
he  had  seen,  having  been  sent  to  gaol  by  him  twice) 
was  the  most  awful. 

Harthover  Place  was  really  a  grand  place,  even  for 
the  rich  North  country ;  with  a  house  so  large  that  in 
the  frame-breaking  riots,  which  Tom  could  just  remem- 
ber, the  Duke  of  Wellington,  and  ten  thousand  soldiers 
to  match,  were  easily  housed  therein ;  at  least,  so  Tom 
believed  ;  with  a  park  full  of  deer,  which  Tom  believed 
to  be  monsters  who  were  in  the  habit  of  eating  children ; 
with  miles  of  game-preserves,  in  which  Mr.  Grimes 
and  the  collier  lads  poached  at  times,  on  which 
occasions  Tom  saw  pheasants,  and  wondered  what  they 
tasted  like ;  with  a  noble  salmon-river,  in  which  Mr 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


Grimes  and  his  friends  would  have  liked  to  poach ; 
but  then  they  must  have  got  into  cold  water,  and  that 
they  did  not  like  at  all.  In  short,  Harthover  was  a 
grand  place,  and  Sir  John  a  grand  old  man,  whom  even 


Mr.  Grimes  respected ;  for  not  only  could  he  send  Mr. 
Grimes  to  prison  when  he  deserved  it,  as  he  did  once 
or  twice  a  week ;  not  only  did  he  own  all  the  land 
about  for  miles  ;  not  only  was  he  a  jo]ly,  honest, 
sensible  squire,  as  ever  kept  a  pack  of  hounds,  who 


i  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  7 

would  do  what  he  thought  right  by  his  neighbours,  as 
well  as  get  what  he  thought  right  for  himself;  but, 
what  was  more,  he  weighed  full  fifteen  stone,  was  no- 
body knew  how  many  inches  round  the  chest,  and 
could  have  thrashed  Mr.  Grimes  himself  in  fair  fight, 
which  very  few  folk  round  there  could  do,  and  which, 
my  dear  little  boy,  would  not  have  been  right  for  him 
to  do,  as  a  great  many  things  are  not  which  one  both 
can  do,  and  would  like  very  much  to  do.  So  Mr. 
Grimes  touched  his  hat  to  him  when  he  rode  through 
the  town,  and  called  him  a  "buirdly  awd  chap,"  and 
his  young  ladies  "  gradely  lasses,"  which  are  two  high 
compliments  in  the  North  country ;  and  thought  that 
that  made  up  for  his  poaching  Sir  John's  pheasants  ; 
whereby  you  may  perceive  that  Mr.  Grimes  had  not 
been  to  a  properly -inspected  Government  National 
School. 

Now,  I  dare  say,  you  never  got  up  at  three  o'clock 
on  a  midsummer  morning.  Some  people  get  up  then 
because  they  want  to  catch  salmon ;  and  some  because 
they  want  to  climb  Alps ;  and  a  great  many  more 
because  they  must,  like  Tom.  But,  I  assure  you,  that 
three  o'clock  on  a  midsummer  morning  is  the  pleas- 
antest  time  of  all  the  twenty-four  hours,  and  all  the 
three  hundred  and  sixty-five  days ;  and  why  every 
one  does  not  get  up  then,  I  never  could  tell.,  save  that 
they  are  all  determined  to  spoil  their  nerves  and  their 
complexions  by  doing  all  night  what  they  might  just 
as  well  do  all  day.      But  Tom,  instead  of  going  out  to 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


dinner  at  half-past  eight  at  night,  and  to  a  ball  at  ten, 
and  finishing  off  somewhere  between  twelve  and  four, 
went  to  bed  at  seven,  when  his  master  went  to  the 
public-house,  and  slept  like  a  dead  pig;  for  which 
reason  he  was  as  piert  as  a  game-cock  (who  always 
gets  up  early  to  wake  the  maids),  and  just  ready  to 
get  up  when  the  fine  gentlemen  and  ladies  were  just 
ready  to  go  to  bed. 

Ijjlj        i//A  So  he  and  his 

master  set  out ; 
Grimes  rode  the 
donkey  in  front, 
and  Tom  and  the 
brushes  walked 
behind;  out  of  the 
court,  and  up  the 
street,  past  the 
closed  window- 
shutters,  and  the  winking  weary  policemen,  and  the 
roofs  all  shining  gray  in  the  gray  dawn. 

They  passed  through  the  pitmen's  village,  all  shut 
up  and  silent  now,  and  through  the  turnpike;  and 
then  they  were  out  in  the  real  country,  and  plodding 
along  the  black  dusty  road,  between  black  slag  walls, 
with  no  sound  but  the  groaning  and  thumping  of  the 
pit-engine  in  the  next  field.  But  soon  the  road  grew 
white,  and  the  walls  likewise ;  and  at  the  wall's  foot 
grew  long  grass  and  gay  flowers,  all  drenched  with 
dew  ;  and  instead  of  the  groaning  of  the  pit-engine, 


I  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  9 

they  heard  the  skylark  saying  his  matins  high  up  in 
the  air,  and  the  pit-bird  warbling  in  the  sedges,  as  he 
had  warbled  all  night  long. 

All  else  was  silent.  For  old  Mrs.  Earth  was  still 
fast  asleep ;  and,  like  many  pretty  people,  she  looked 
still  prettier  asleep  than  awake.  The  great  elm-trees 
in  the  gold-green  meadows  were  fast  asleep  above,  and 
the  cows  fast  asleep  beneath  them ;  nay,  the  few 
clouds  which  were  about  were  fast  asleep  likewise, 
and  so  tired  that  they  had  lain  down  on  the  earth  to 
rest,  in  long  white  flakes  and  bars,  among  the  stems 
of  the  elm-trees,  and  along  the  tops  of  the  alders  by 
the  stream,  waiting  for  the  sun  to  bid  them  rise  and 
go  about  their  day's  business  in  the  clear  blue 
overhead. 

On  they  went ;  and  Tom  looked,  and  looked,  for 
he  never  had  been  so  far  into  the  country  before ;  and 
longed  to  get  over  a  gate,  and  pick  buttercups,  and 
look  for  birds'  nests  in  the  hedge;  but  Mr.  Grimes 
was  a  man  of  business,  and  would  not  have  heard  of 
that. 

Soon  they  came  up  with  a  poor  Irishwoman,  trudg- 
ing along  with  a  bundle  at  her  back.  She  had  a  gray 
shawl  over  her  head,  and  a  crimson  madder  petticoat ; 
so  you  may  be  sure  she  came  from  Galway.  She  had 
neither  shoes  nor  stockings,  and  limped  along  as  if 
she  were  tired  and  footsore ;  but  she  was  a  very  tall 
handsome  woman,  with  bright  gray  eyes,  and  heavy 
black  hair  hanging  about  her  cheeks.      And  she   took 


10 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


Mr.  Grimes'  fancy  so  much,  that  when  he  came  along- 
side he   called   out  to  her : 

"  This  is  a  hard 
road  for  a  gradely 
foot  like  that.  Will 
ye  up,  lass,  and  ride 
behind  me  ?  " 

But,  perhaps,  she 
did  not  admire  Mr. 
Grimes'  look  and 
voice ;  for  she  an- 
swered quietly  : 

"  No,  thank  you: 
I'd  sooner  walk 
with  your  little 
lad  here." 

"You  may 

please       yourself," 
growled  Grimes,  and  went  on  smoking. 

So  she  walked  beside  Tom,  and  talked  to  him,  and 
asked  him  where  he  lived,  and  what  he  knew,  and  all 
about  himself,  till  Tom  thought  he  had  never  met  such 
a  pleasant -spoken  woman.  And  she  asked  him,  at 
last,  whether  he  said  his  prayers  !  and  seemed  sad 
when  he  told  her  that  he  knew  no  prayers  to  say. 

Then  he  asked  her  where  she  lived,  and  she  said 
far  away  by  the  sea.  And  Tom  asked  her  about  the 
sea ;  and  she  told  him  how  it  rolled  and  roared  over 
the  rocks  in  winter  nights,  aud  lay  still  in  the  bright 


I  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  11 

summer  days,  for  the  children  to  bathe  and  play  in  it ; 
and  many  a  story  more,  till  Tom  longed  to  go  and  see 
the  sea,  and  bathe  in  it  likewise. 

At  last,  at  the  bottom  of  a  hill,  they  came  to  a 
spring ;  not  such  a  spring  as  you  see  here,  which  soaks 
up  out  of  a  white  gravel  in  the  bog,  among  red  fly- 
catchers, and  pink  bottle  -  heath,  and  sweet  white 
orchis ;  nor  such  a  one  as  you  may  see,  too,  here, 
which  bubbles  up  under  the  warm  sandbank  in  the 
hollow  lane,  by  the  great  tuft  of  lady  ferns,  and  makes 
the  sand  dance  reels  at  the  bottom,  day  and  night,  all 
the  year  round ;  not  such  a  spring  as  either  of  those ; 
but  a  real  North  country  limestone  fountain,  like  one 
of  those  in  Sicily  or  Greece,  where  the  old  heathen 
fancied  the  nymphs  sat  cooling  themselves  the  hot 
summer's  day,  while  the  shepherds  peeped  at  them 
from  behind  the  bushes.  Out  of  a  low  cave  of  rock, 
at  the  foot  of  a  limestone  crag,  the  great  fountain  rose, 
quelling,  and  bubbling,  and  gurgling,  so  clear  that  you 
could  not  tell  where  the  water  ended  and  the  air 
began ;  and  ran  away  under  the  road,  a  stream  large 
enough  to  turn  a  mill ;  among  blue  geranium,  and 
golden  globe-flower,  and  wild  raspberry,  and  the  bird- 
cherry  with  its  tassels  of  snow. 

And  there  Grimes  stopped,  and  looked ;  and  Tom 
looked  too.  Tom  was  wondering  whether  anything 
lived  in  that  dark  cave,  and  came  out  at  night  to  fly 
in  the  meadows.  But  Grimes  was  not  wondering  at 
all.      Without   a   word,  he   got   off  his   donkey,  and 


12  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

clambered  over  the  low  road  wall,  and  knelt  down, 
and  began  dipping  his  ugly  head  into  the  spring — and 
very  dirty  he  made  it. 

Tom  was  picking  the  flowers  as  fast  as  he  could. 
The  Irishwoman  helped  him,  and  showed  him  how  to 
tie  them  up ;  and  a  very  pretty  nosegay  they  had 
made  between  them.  But  when  he  saw  Grimes 
actually  wash,  he  stopped,  quite  astonished ;  and  when 
Grimes  had  finished,  and  began  shaking  his  ears  to 
dry  them,  he  said : 

"  Why,  master,  I  never  saw  you  do  that  before." 

"  Nor  will  again,  most  likely.  'Twasn't  for  cleanli- 
ness I  did  it,  but  for  coolness.  I'd  be  ashamed  to  want 
washing  every  week  or  so,  like  any  smutty  collier  lad." 

"  I  wish  I  might  go  and  dip  my  head  in,"  said  poor 
little  Tom.  "  It  must  be  as  good  as  putting  it  under 
the  town-pump ;  and  there  is  no  beadle  here  to  drive 
a  chap  away." 

"  Thou  come  along,"  said  Grimes ;  "  what  dost  want 
with  washing  thyself?  Thou  did  not  drink  half  a 
gallon  of  beer  last  night,  like  me." 

"  I  don't  care  for  you,"  said  naughty  Tom,  and  ran 
down  to  the  stream,  and  began  washing  his  face. 

Grimes  was  very  sulky,  because  the  woman  pre- 
ferred Tom's  company  to  his ;  so  he  dashed  at  him 
with  horrid  words,  and  tore  him  up  from  his  knees, 
and  began  beating  him.  But  Tom  was  accustomed  to 
that,  and  got  his  head  safe  between  Mr.  Grimes'  legs, 
and  kicked  his  shins  with  all  his  might. 


I  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  IS 

"  Are  you  not  ashamed  of  yourself,  Thomas  Grimes  ? " 
cried  the  Irishwoman  over  the  wall. 

Grimes  looked  up,  startled  at  her  knowing  his 
name ;  but  all  he  answered  was,  "  No,  nor  never  was 
yet ;  "  and  went  on  beating  Tom. 

"  True  for  you.  If  you  ever  had  been  ashamed  of 
yourself,  you  would  have  gone  over  into  Vendale  long 
ago." 

"  What  do  you  know  about  Vendale  ? "  shouted 
Grimes ;  but  he  left  off  beating  Tom. 

"  I  know  about  Vendale,  and  about  you,  too.  I 
know,  for  instance,  what  happened  in  Aldermire  Copse, 
by  night,  two  years  ago  come  Martinmas." 

"  You  do  ? "  shouted  Grimes  ;  and  leaving  Tom,  he 
climbed  up  over  the  wall,  and  faced  the  woman.  Tom 
thought  he  was  going  to  strike  her;  but  she  looked 
him  too  full  and  fierce  in  the  face  for  that. 

"  Yes ;  I  was  there,"  said  the  Irishwoman  quietly. 

"  You  are  no  Irishwoman,  by  your  speech,"  said 
Grimes,  after  many  bad  words. 

"  Never  mind  who  I  am.  I  saw  what  I  saw  ;  and 
if  you  strike  that  boy  again,  I  can  tell  what  I  know." 

Grimes  seemed  quite  cowed,  and  got  on  his  donkey 
without  another  word. 

"  Stop ! "  said  the  Irishwoman.  "  I  have  one  more 
word  for  you  both ;  for  you  will  both  see  me  again 
before  all  is  over.  Those  that  wish  to  be  clean,  clean 
they  will  be ;  and  those  that  wish  to  be  foul,  foul  they 
will  be.      Eemember." 


14  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

And  she  turned  away,  and  through  a  gate  into  the 
meadow.  Grimes  stood  still  a  moment,  like  a  man 
who  had  been   stunned.      Then  he  rushed  after  her, 


shouting,  "  You  come  back."      But  when  he  got  into 
the  meadow,  the  woman  was  not  there. 

Had  she  hidden  away  ?  There  was  no  place  to 
hide  in.  But  Grimes  looked  about,  and  Tom  also,  for 
he  was  as  puzzled  as  Grimes  himself  at  her  disappear- 


I  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  15 

ing  so  suddenly ;  but  look  where  they  would,  she  was 
not  there. 

Grimes  came  back  again,  as  silent  as  a  post,  for  he 


was  a  little  frightened ;  and,  getting  on  his  donkey, 
filled  a  fresh  pipe,  and  smoked  away,  leaving  Tom  in 
peace. 

And  now  they  had  gone  three  miles  and  more,  and 
came  to  Sir  John's  lodge-gates. 


16  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

Very  grand  lodges  they  were,  with  very  grand  iron 
gates  and  stone  gate-posts,  and  on  the  top  of  each  a 
most  dreadful  bogy,  all  teeth,  horns,  and  tail,  which 
was  the  crest  which  Sir  John's  ancestors  wore  in  the 
Wars  of  the  Eoses ;  and  very  prudent  men  they  were 
to  wear  it,  for  all  their  enemies  must  have  run  for 
their  lives  at  the  very  first  sight  of  them. 

Grimes  rang  at  the  gate,  and  out  came  a  keeper  on 
the  spot,  and  opened. 

"  I  was  told  to  expect  thee,"  he  said.  "  Now  thou'lt 
be  so  good  as  to  keep  to  the  main  avenue,  and  not  let 
me  find  a  hare  or  a  rabbit  on  thee  when  thou  comest 
back.      I  shall  look  sharp  for  one,  I  tell  thee." 

"  Not  if  it's  in  the  bottom  of  the  soot-bag,"  quoth 
Grimes,  and  at  that  he  laughed ;  and  the  keeper 
laughed  and  said : 

"  If  that's  thy  sort,  I  may  as  well  walk  up  with 
thee  to  the  hall." 

"  I  think  thou  best  had.  It's  thy  business  to  see 
after  thy  game,  man,  and  not  mine." 

So  the  keeper  went  with  them ;  and,  to  Tom's  sur- 
prise, he  and  Grimes  chatted  together  all  the  way  quite 
pleasantly.  He  did  not  know  that  a  keeper  is  only  a 
poacher  turned  outside  in,  and  a  poacher  a  keeper 
turned  inside  out. 

They  walked  up  a  great  lime  avenue,  a  full  mile 
long,  and  between  their  stems  Tom  peeped  trembling 
at  the  horns  of  the  sleeping  deer,  which  stood  up 
among  the  ferns.      Tom  had  never  seen  such  enormous 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


17 


trees,  and  as  he  looked  up  he  fancied  that  the  blue 
sky  rested  on  their  heads.  But  he  was  puzzled  very 
much  by  a  strange  murmuring  noise,  which  followed 
them  all  the  way.  So  much  puzzled,  that  at  last  he 
took  courage  to  ask  the  keeper  what  it  was. 

He  spoke  very  civilly,  and  called  him  Sir,  for  he 


was  horribly  afraid  of  him,  which  pleased  the  keeper, 
and  he  told  him  that  they  were  the  bees  about  the 
lime  flowers. 

"What  are  bees  ?"  asked  Tom. 

"  What  make  honey." 

"What  is  honey  ?"  asked  Tom. 

"  Thou  hold  thy  noise,"  said  Grimes. 
C 


18  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

"  Let  the  boy  be,"  said  the  keeper.  "  He's  a  civil 
young  chap  now,  and  that's  more  than  he'll  be  long  if 
he  bides  with  thee." 

Grimes  laughed,  for  he  took  that  for  a  compliment. 

"  I  wish  I  were  a  keeper,"  said  Tom,  "  to  live  in 
such  a  beautiful  place,  and  wear  green  velveteens,  and 
have  a  real  dog-whistle  at  my  button,  like  you." 

The  keeper  laughed ;  he  was  a  kind-hearted  fellow 
enough. 

"  Let  well  alone,  lad,  and  ill  too  at  times.  Thy 
life's  safer  than  mine  at  all  events,  eh,  Mr.  Grimes  ? " 

And  Grimes  laughed  again,  and  then  the  two  men 
began  talking  quite  low.  Tom  could  hear,  though, 
that  it  was  about  some  poaching  fight ;  and  at  last 
Grimes  said  surlily,  "  Hast  thou  anything  against  me  ? " 

"  Not  now." 

"  Then  don't  ask  me  any  questions  till  thou  hast, 
for  I  am  a  man  of  honour." 

And  at  that  they  both  laughed  again,  and  thought 
it  a  very  good  joke. 

And  by  this  time  they  were  come  up  to  the  great 
iron  gates  in  front  of  the  house;  and  Tom  stared 
through  them  at  the  rhododendrons  and  azaleas,  which 
were  all  in  flower ;  and  then  at  the  house  itself,  and 
wondered  how  many  chimneys  there  were  in  it,  and 
how  long  ago  it  was  built,  and  what  was  the  man's 
name  that  built  it,  and  whether  he  got  much  money 
for  his  job  ? 

These  last  were  very  difficult  questions  to  answer. 


I  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  19 

For  Harthover  had  been  built  at  ninety  different 
times,  and  in  nineteen  different  styles,  and  looked  as 
if  somebody  had  built  a  whole  street  of  houses  of 
every  imaginable  shape,  and  then  stirred  them  together 
with  a  spoon. 

For  the  attics  were  Anglo-Saxon. 

The  third  floor  Norman. 

The  second  Cinque-cento. 

TJie  first-floor  Elizabethan. 

The  right  wing  Pure  Doric. 

The  centre  Early  English,  with  a  huge  portico  copied 
from  the  Parthenon. 

The  left  wing  pure  Boeotian,  which  the  country  folk 
admired  most  of  all,  because  it  was  just  like  the  new 
barracks  in  the  town,  only  three  times  as  big. 

The  grand  staircase  was  copied  from  the  Catacombs  at 
Borne. 

The  back  staircase  from  the  Tajmahal  at  Agra. 
This  was  built  by  Sir  John's  great-great-great-uncle,  who 
won,  in  Lord  Clive's  Indian  Wars,  plenty  of  money, 
plenty  of  wounds,  and  no  more  taste  than  his  betters. 

The  cellars  were  copied  from  the  caves  of  Elephanta. 

The  offices  from  the  Bavilion  at  Brighton. 

And  the  rest  from  nothing  in  heaven,  or  earth,  or 
under  the  earth. 

So  that  Harthover  House  was  a  great  puzzle  to 
antiquarians,    and   a   thorough    Naboth's    vineyard    to 


20  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

critics,  and  architects,  and  all  persons  who  like 
meddling  with  other  men's  business,  and  spending 
other  men's  money.  So  they  were  all  setting  upon 
poor  Sir  John,  year  after  year,  and  trying  to  talk  him 
into  spending  a  hundred  thousand  pounds  or  so,  in 
building,  to  please  them  and  not  himself.  But  he 
always  put  them  off,  like  a  canny  North- countryman 
as  he  was.  One  wanted  him  to  build  a  Gothic  house, 
but  he  said  he  was  no  Goth ;  and  another  to  build  an 
Elizabethan,  but  he  said  he  lived  under  good  Queen 
Victoria,  and  not  good  Queen  Bess ;  and  another  was 
bold  enough  to  tell  him  that  his  house  was  ugly,  but 
he  said  he  lived  inside  it,  and  not  outside ;  and 
another,  that  there  was  no  unity  in  it,  but  he  said  that 
that  was  just  why  he  liked  the  old  place.  For  he 
liked  to  see  how  each  Sir  John,  and  Sir  Hugh,  and 
Sir  Ealph,  and  Sir  Eandal,  had  left  his  mark  upon 
the  place,  each  after  his  own  taste ;  and  he  had  no 
more  notion  of  disturbing  his  ancestors'  work  than  of 
disturbing  their  graves.  Eor  now  the  house  looked 
like  a  real  live  house,  that  had  a  history,  and  had 
grown  and  grown  as  the  world  grew  ;  and  that  it  was 
only  an  upstart  fellow  who  did  not  know  who  his  own 
grandfather  was,  who  would  change  it  for  some  spick 
and  span  new  Gothic  or  Elizabethan  thing,  which 
looked  as  if  it  had  been  all  spawned  in  a  night,  as 
mushrooms  are.  Erom  which  you  may  collect  (if  you 
have  wit  enough)  that  Sir  John  was  a  very  sound- 
headed,  sound-hearted  squire,  and  just  the  man  to  keep 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


21 


the  country  side  in  order,  and  show  good  sport  with 
his  hounds. 

But  Tom  and  his  master  did  not  go  in  through  the 
great  iron  gates,  as  if  they  had  been  Dukes  or  Bishops, 
but  round  the  back  way,  and  a  very  long  way  round  it 
was ;  and  into  a  little  back-door,  where  the  ash-boy  let 
them  in,  yawning  horribly ;  and  then  in  a  passage  the 
housekeeper  met  them,  in  such  a  flowered  chintz 
dressing-gown, 
that  Tom  mis- 
took her  for  My 
Lady  herself,  and 
she  gave  Grimes 
solemn  orders 
about  "You  will 
take  care  of  this, 
and  take  care  of 
that,"  as  if  he  was 
going  up  the  chim- 
neys, and  not 
Tom.  And  Grimes 
listened,  and  said 
every  now  and 
under  his 
"  You'll 
that,  you 
beggar  ? " 


then, 

voice, 

mind 

little 

and  Tom  did  mind,  all  at  least  that  he  could. 

then  the  housekeeper  turned  them  into  a  grand 


And 
room, 


22  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

all  covered  up  in  sheets  of  brown  paper,  and  bade 
them  begin,  in  a  lofty  and  tremendous  voice ;  and  so 
after  a  whimper  or  two,  and  a  kick  from  his  master, 
into  the  grate  Tom  went,  and  up  the  chimney,  while  a 
housemaid  stayed  in  the  room  to  watch  the  furniture ; 


to  whom  Mr.  Grimes  paid  many  playful  and  chivalrous 
compliments,  but  met  with  very  slight  encouragement 
in  return. 

How  many  chimneys  Tom  swept  I  cannot  say ;  but 
he  swept  so  many  that  he  got  quite  tired,  and  puzzled 
too,  for  they  were  not  like  the  town  flues  to  which  he 
was  accustomed,  but  such  as  you  would  find — if  you 


I  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  23 

would  only  get  up  them  and  look,  which  perhaps  you 
would  not  like  to  do — in  old  country-houses,  large  and 
crooked  chimneys,  which  had  been  altered  again  and 
again,  till  they  ran  one  into  another,  anastomosing  (as 
Professor  Owen  would  say)  considerably.  So  Tom 
fairly  lost  his  way  in  them ;  not  that  he  cared  much 
for  that,  though  he  was  in  pitchy  darkness,  for  he  was 
as  much  at  home  in  a  chimney  as  a  mole  is  under- 
ground ;  but  at  last,  coming  down  as  he  thought  the 
right '  chimney,  he  came  down  the  wrong  one,  and 
found  himself  standing  on  the  hearthrug  in  a  room 
the  like  of  which  he  had  never  seen  before. 

Tom  had  never  seen  the  like.  He  had  never  been 
in  gentlefolks'  rooms  but  when  the  carpets  were  all  up, 
and  the  curtains  down,  and  the  furniture  huddled 
together  under  a  cloth,  and  the  pictures  covered  with 
aprons  and  dusters  ;  and  he  had  often  enough  wondered 
what  the  rooms  were  like  when  they  were  all  ready  for 
the  quality  to  sit  in.  And  now  he  saw,  and  he  thought 
the  sight  very  pretty. 

The  room  was  all  dressed  in  white, — white  window- 
curtains,  white  bed-curtains,  white  furniture,  and  white 
walls,  with  just  a  few  lines  of  pink  here  and  there. 
The  carpet  was  all  over  gay  little  flowers ;  and  the 
walls  were  hung  with  pictures  in  gilt  frames,  which 
amused  Tom  very  much.  There  were  pictures  of 
ladies  and  gentlemen,  and  pictures  of  horses  and  dogs. 
The  horses  he  liked  ;  but  the  dogs  he  did  not  care  for 
much,  for  there  were  no  bull-dogs  among  them,   not 


24  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

even  a  terrier.  But  the  two  pictures  which  took  his 
fancy  most  were,  one  a  man  in  long  garments,  with 
little  children  and  their  mothers  round  him,  who  was 
laying  his  hand  upon  the  children's  heads.  That  was 
a  very  pretty  picture,  Tom  thought,  to  hang  in  a  lady's 
room.  For  he  could  see  that  it  was  a  lady's  room  by 
the  dresses  which  lay  about. 

The  other  picture  was  that  of  a  man  nailed  to  a 
cross,  which  surprised  Tom  much.  He  fancied  that 
he  had  seen  something  like  it  in  a  shop-window.  But 
why  was  it  there  ?  "  Poor  man,"  thought  Tom,  "  and 
he  looks  so  kind  and  quiet.  But  why  should  the  lady 
have  such  a  sad  picture  as  that  in  her  room  ?  Perhaps 
•it  was  some  kinsman  of  hers,  who  had  been  murdered 
by  the  savages  in  foreign  parts,  and  she  kept  it  there 
for  a  remembrance."  And  Tom  felt  sad,  and  awed, 
and  turned  to  look  at  something  else. 

The  next  thing  he  saw,  and  that  too  puzzled  him, 
was  a  washing-stand,  with  ewers  and  basins,  and  soap 
and  brushes,  and  towels,  and  a  large  bath  full  of  clean 
water — what  a  heap  of  things  all  for  washing  !  "  She 
must  be  a  very  dirty  lady,"  thought  Tom,  "  by  my 
master's  rule,  to  want  as  much  scrubbing  as  all  that. 
But  she  must  be  very  cunning  to  put  the  dirt  out  of 
the  way  so  well  afterwards,  for  I  don't  see  a  speck 
about  the  room,  not  even  on  the  very  towels." 

And  then,  looking  toward  the  bed,  he  saw  that 
dirty  lady,  and  held  his  breath  with  astonishment. 

Under   the  snow-white    coverlet,  upon  the  snow- 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


25 


white  pillow,  lay  the  most  beautiful  little  girl  that  Tom 
had  ever  seen.  Her  cheeks  were  almost  as  white  as 
the  pillow,  and  her  hair  was  like  threads  of  gold  spread 
all  about  over  the  bed.  She  might  have  been  as  old 
as  Tom,  or  maybe  a  year  or  two  older ;  but  Tom  did 
not  think  of  that.     He  thought  only  of  her  delicate 


skin  and  golden  hair,  and  wondered  whether  she  was 
a  real  live  person,  or  one  of  the  wax  dolls  he  had  seen 
in  the  shops.  But  when  he  saw  her  breathe,  he  made 
up  his  mind  that  she  was  alive,  and  stood  staring  at 
her,  as  if  she  had  been  an  angel  out  of  heaven. 

No.  She  cannot  be  dirty.  She  never  could  have 
been  dirty,  thought  Tom  to  himself.  And  then  he 
thought,  "  And  are  all  people  like  that  when  they  are 


26  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

washed  ? "  And  he  looked  at  his  own  wrist,  and  tried 
to  rub  the  soot  off,  and  wondered  whether  it  ever  would 
come  off.  "  Certainly  I  should  look  much  prettier 
then,  if  I  grew  at  all  like  her." 

And  looking  round,  he  suddenly  saw,  standing  close 
to  him,  a  little  ugly,  black,  ragged  figure,  with  bleared 
eyes  and  grinning  white  teeth.  He  turned  on  it 
angrily.  What  did  such  a  little  black  ape  want  in 
that  sweet  young  lady's  room  ?  And  behold,  it  was 
himself,  reflected  in  a  great  mirror  the  like  of  which 
Tom  had  never  seen  before. 

And  Tom,  for  the  first  time  in  his  life,  found  out 
that  he  was  dirty;  and  burst  into  tears  with  shame 
and  anger ;  and  turned  to  sneak  up  the  chimney  again 
and  hide ;  and  upset  the  fender  and  threw  the  fire- 
irons  down,  with  a  noise  as  of  ten  thousand  tin  kettles 
tied  to  ten  thousand  mad  dogs'  tails. 

Up  jumped  the  little  white  lady  in  her  bed,  and, 
seeing  Tom,  screamed  as  shrill  as  any  peacock.  In 
rushed  a  stout  old  nurse  from  the  next  room,  and  seeing 
Tom  likewise,  made  up  her  mind  that  he  had  come  to 
rob,  plunder,  destroy,  and  burn ;  and  dashed  at  him, 
as  he  lay  over  the  fender,  so  fast  that  she  caught  him 
by  the  jacket. 

But  she  did  not  hold  him.  Tom  had  been  in  a 
policeman's  hands  many  a  time,  and  out  of  them  too, 
what  is  more  ;  and  he  would  have  been  ashamed  to  face 
his  friends  for  ever  if  he  had  been  stupid  enough  to 
be  caught  by  an  old  woman ;  so  he  doubled  under  the 


I  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  27 

good  lady's  arm,  across  the  room,  and  out  of  the  window 
in  a  moment. 

He  did  not  need  to  drop  out,  though  he  would  have 
•  done  so  bravely  enough.  ISTor  even  to  let  himself 
down  a  spout,  which  would  have  been  an  old  game  to 
him ;  for  once  he  got  up  by  a  spout  to  the  church 
roof,  he  said  to  take  jackdaws'  eggs,  but  the  policeman 
said  to  steal  lead  ;  and,  when  he  was  seen  on  high,  sat 


there  till  the  sun  got  too  hot,  and  came  down  by 
another  spout,  leaving  the  policemen  to  go  back  to  the 
stationhouse  and  eat  their  dinners. 

But  all  under  the  window  spread  a  tree,  with  great 
leaves  and  sweet  white  flowers,  almost  as  big  as  his 
head.  It  was  magnolia,  I  suppose  ;  but  Tom  knew 
nothing  about  that,  and  cared  less;  for  down  the  tree 
he  went,  like  a  cat,  and  across  the  garden  lawn,  and 
over  the  iron  railings,  and  up  the   park  towards  the 


28 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


wood,  leaving  the  old  nurse  to  scream  murder  and  fire 
at  the  window. 

The  under  gardener,  mowing,  saw  Tom,  and  threw 
down  his  scythe ;  caught  his  leg  in  it,  and  cut  his  shin  • 
open,  whereby  he  kept  his  bed  for  a  week ;  but  in  his 
hurry  he  never  knew  it,  and  gave  chase  to  poor  Tom. 
The  dairymaid  heard  the  noise,  got  the  churn  between 
her  knees,  and  tumbled  over  it,  spilling  all  the  cream; 


and  yet  she  jumped  up,  and  gave  chase  to  Tom.  A 
groom  cleaning  Sir  John's  hack  at  the  stables  let  him 
go  loose,  whereby  he  kicked  himself  lame  in  five 
minutes ;  but  he  ran  out  and  gave  chase  to  Tom. 
Grimes  upset  the  soot-sack  in  the  new-gravelled  yard, 
and  spoilt  it  all  utterly ;  but  he  ran  out  and  gave  chase 
to  Tom.  The  old  steward  opened  the  park-gate  in 
such  a  hurry,  that  he  hung  up  his  pony's  chin  upon 
the  spikes,  and,  for  aught  I  know,  it  hangs  there  still ; 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


29 


but  he  jumped  off,  and  gave  chase  to  Tom.  The 
ploughman  left  his  horses  at  the  headland,  and  one 
jumped  over  the  fence,  and  pulled  the  other  into  the 
ditch,  plough  and  all ;  but  he  ran  on,  and  gave  chase 
to  Tom.  The  keeper,  who  was  taking  a  stoat  out  of  a 
trap,  let  the  stoat  go,  and  caught  his  own  finger;  but 
he  jumped  up,  and  ran  after  Tom ;  and  considering 
what  he  said,  and  how  he  looked,  I  should  have  been 


sorry  for  Tom  if  he  had  caught  him.  Sir  John  looked 
out  of  his  study  window  (for  he  was  an  early  old 
gentleman)  and  up  at  the  nurse,  and  a  marten  dropped 
mud  in  his  eye,  so  that  he  had  at  last  to  send  for  the 
doctor;  and  yet  he  ran  out,  and  gave  chase  to  Tom. 
The  Irishwoman,  too,  was  walking  up  to  the  house  to 
beg, — she  must  have  got  round  by  some  byway, — but 
she  threw  away  her  bundle,  and  gave  chase  to  Tom 
likewise.      Only  my  Lady  did  not  give  chase  ;  for  when 


30 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


she  had  put  her  head  out  of  the  window,  her  night- wig 
fell  into  the  garden,  and  she  had  to  ring  up  her  lady's- 
maid,  and  send  her  down  for  it  privately,  which  quite 
put  her  out  of  the  running,  so  that  she  came  in 
nowhere,  and  is  consequently  not  placed. 

In  a  word,  never  was  there  heard  at  Hall  Place — 
not  even  when  the  fox  was  killed  in  the  conservatory, 


among  acres  of  broken  glass,  and  tons  of  smashed 
flower-pots — such  a  noise,  row,  hubbub,  babel,  shindy, 
hullabaloo,  stramash,  charivari,  and  total  contempt  of 
dignity,  repose,  and  order,  as  that  day,  when  Grimes, 
gardener,  the  groom,  the  dairymaid,  Sir  John,  the 
steward,  the  ploughman,  the  keeper,  and  the  Irish- 
woman, all  ran  up  the  park,  shouting  "  Stop  thief/'  in 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


31 


the  belief  that  Tom  had  at  least  a  thousand  pounds' 
worth  of  jewels  in  his  empty  pockets  ;  and  the  very 
magpies  and  jays  followed  Tom  up,  screaking  and 
screaming,  as  if  he  were  a  hunted  fox,  beginning  to 
droop  his  brush. 

And  all  the  while  poor  Tom  paddled  up  the  park 
with  his  little  bare  feet,  like  a  small  black  gorilla 
fleeing  to  the  forest.     Alas  for  him !  there  was  no  bis 


father  gorilla  therein  to  take  his  part — to  scratch  out 
the  gardener's  inside  with  one  paw,  toss  the  dairymaid 
into  a  tree  with  another,  and  wrench  off  Sir  John's  head 
with  a  third,  while  he  cracked  the  keeper's  skull  with 
his  teeth  as  easily  as  if  it  had  been  a  cocoa-nut  or  a 
paving-stone. 

However,  Tom  did  not  remember  ever  having  had  a 
father ;  so  he  did  not  look  for  one,  and  expected  to 
have  to  take  care  of  himself;  while  as  for  running,  he 


32 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


could  keep  up  for  a  couple  of  miles  with  any  stage- 
coach, if  there  was  the  chance  of  a  copper  or  a  cigar- 
end,  and  turn  coach-wheels  on  his  hands  and  feet  ten 
times  following,  which  is  more  than  you  can  do.  Where- 
fore his  pursuers  found  it  very  difficult  to  catch  him ; 
and  we  will  hope  that  they  did  not  catch  him  at  all. 

Tom,  of  course,  made  for  the  woods.      He  had  never 
been  in  a  wood  in  his  life ;  but  he  was  sharp  enough 


to  know  that  he  might  hide  in  a  bush,  or  swarm  up  a 
tree,  and,  altogether,  had  more  chance  there  than  in 
the  open.  If  he  had  not  known  that,  he  would  have 
been  foolisher  than  a  mouse  or  a  minnow. 

But  when  he  got  into  the  wood,  he  found  it  a  very 
different  sort  of  place  from  what  he  had  fancied.  He 
pushed  into  a  thick  cover  of  rhododendrons,  and  found 
himself  at  once  caught  in  a  trap.      The  boughs  laid 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


33 


hold  of  his  legs  and  arms,  poked  him  in  his  face  and 
his  stomach,  made  him  shut  his  eyes  tight  (though 
that  was  no  great  loss,  for  he  could  not  see  at  best  a 
yard  before  his  nose) ;  and  when  he  got  through  the 
rhododendrons,  the  hassock-grass  and  sedges  tumbled 
him  over,  and  cut  his  poor  little  fingers  afterwards 
most  spitefully ;  the  birches  birched  him  as  soundly  as 


*  i^mw^Mi^ 


if  he  had  been  a  nobleman  at  Eton,  and  over  the  face 
too  (which  is  not  fair  swishing,  as  all  brave  boys  will 
agree) ;  and  the  lawyers  tripped  him  up,  and  tore  his 
shins  as  if  they  had  sharks'  teeth — which  lawyers  are 
likely  enough  to  have. 

"  I  must  get  out  of  this,"  thought  Tom,  "  or  I  shall 
stay  here  till  somebody  comes  to  help  me — which  is 
just  what  I  don't  want." 

But  how  to  get  out  was  the  difficult  matter.  And 
D 


34  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

indeed  I  don't  think  lie  would  ever  have  got  out  at 
all,  but  have  stayed  there  till  the  cock-robins  covered 
him  with  leaves,  if  he  had  not  suddenly  run  his  head 
against  a  wall. 


06 


Now  running  your  head  against  a  wall  is  not 
pleasant,  especially  if  it  is  a  loose  wall,  with  the  stones 
all  set  on  edge,  and  a  sharp  cornered  one  hits  you 
between  the  eyes  and  makes  you  see  all  manner  of 
beautiful  stars.      The  stars  are  very  beautiful,  certainly  j 


I  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  35 

but  unfortunately  they  go  in  the  twenty-thousandth 
part  of  a  split  second,  and  the  pain  which  comes  after 
them  does  not.  And  so  Tom  hurt  his  head ;  but  he 
was  a  brave  boy,  and  did  not  mind  that  a  penny.  He 
guessed  that  over  the  wall  the  cover  would  end ;  and 
up  it  he  went,  and  over  like  a  squirrel. 

And  there  he  was,  out  on  the  great  grouse-moors, 
which  the  country  folk  called  Harthover  Fell — heather 
and  bog  and  rock,  stretching  away  and  up,  up  to  the 
very  sky. 

Now,  Tom  was  a  cunning  little  fellow — as  cunning 
as  an  old  Exmoor  stag.  Why  not  ?  Though  he  was 
but  ten  years  old,  he  had  lived  longer  than  most  stags, 
and  had  more  wits  to  start  with  into  the  bargain. 

He  knew  as  well  as  a  stag  that  if  he  backed  he 
might  throw  the  hounds  out.  So  the  first  thing  he 
did  when  he  was  over  the  wall  was  to  make  the  neatest 
double  sharp  to  his  right,  and  run  along  under  the 
wall  for  nearly  half  a  mile. 

Whereby  Sir  John,  and  the  keeper,  and  the  stew- 
ard, and  the  gardener,  and  the  ploughman,  and  the 
dairymaid,  and  all  the  hue-and-cry  together,  went  on 
ahead  half  a  mile  in  the  very  opposite  direction,  and 
inside  the  wall,  leaving  him  a  mile  off  on  the  outside ; 
while  Tom  heard  their  shouts  die  away  in  the  woods 
and  chuckled  to  himself  merrily. 

At  last  he  came  to  a  dip  in  the  land,  arid  went  to 
the  bottom  of  it,  and  then  he  turned  bravely  away 
from  the  wall  and  up  the  moor ;  for  he  knew  that  he 


36  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

had  put  a  hill  between  him  and  his  enemies,  and  could 
go  on  without  their  seeing  him. 

But  the  Irishwoman,  alone  of  them  all,  had  seen 
which  way  Tom  went.  She  had  kept  ahead  of  every- 
one the  whole  time ;  and  yet  she  neither  walked  nor 
ran.  She  went  along  quite  smoothly  and  gracefully, 
while  her  feet  twinkled  past  each  other  so  fast  that 
you  could  not  see  which  was  foremost ;  till  every  one 
asked  the  other  who  the  strange  woman  was ;  and  all 
agreed,  for  want  of  anything  better  to  say,  that  she 
must  be  in  league  with  Tom. 

But  when  she  came  to  the  plantation,  they  lost 
sight  of  her;  and  they  could  do  no  less.  For  she 
went  quietly  over  the  wall  after  Tom,  and  followed 
him  wherever  he  went.  Sir  John  and  the  rest  saw  no 
more  of  her ;  and  out  of  sight  was  out  of  mind. 

And  now  Tom  was  right  away  into  the  heather, 
over  just  such  a  moor  as  those  in  which  you  have  been 
bred,  except  that  there  were  rocks  and  stones  lying 
about  everywhere,  and  that,  instead  of  the  moor 
growing  fiat  as  he  went  upwards,  it  grew  more  and 
more  broken  and  hilly,  but  not  so  rough  but  that  little 
Tom  could  jog  along  well  enough,  and  find  time,  too, 
to  stare  about  at  the  strange  place,  which  was  like  a 
new  world  to  him. 

He  saw  great  spiders  there,  with  crowns  and  crosses 
marked  on  their  backs,  who  sat  in  the  middle  of  their 
webs,  and  when  they  saw  Tom  coming,  shook  them  so 
fast  that  they  became  invisible.      Then  he  saw  lizards, 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


37 


brown  and  gray  and  green,  and  thought  they  were 
snakes,  and  would  sting  him ;  but  they  were  as  much 
frightened  as  he,  and  shot  away  into  the  heath.  And 
then,  under  a  rock,  he  saw  a  pretty  sight — a  great 
brown,  sharp-nosed  creature,  with  a  white  tag  to  her 
brush,  and  round  her  four  or  five  smutty  little  cubs, 


the  funniest  fellows  Tom  ever  saw.  She  lay  on  her 
back,  rolling  about,  and  stretching  out  her  legs  and 
head  and  tail  in  the  bright  sunshine ;  and  the  cubs 
jumped  over  her,  and  ran  round  her,  and  nibbled  her 
paws,  and  lugged  her  about  by  the  tail ;  and  she 
seemed  to  enjoy  it  mightily.  But  one  selfish  little 
fellow  stole  away  from  the  rest  to  a  dead  crow  close 


38  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

by,  and  dragged  it  off  to  hide  it,  though  it  was  nearly 
as  big  as  he  was.  Whereat  all  his  little  brothers  set 
off  after  him  in  full  cry,  and  saw  Tom ;  and  then  all 
ran  back,  and  up  jumped  Mrs.  Vixen,  and  caught  one 
up  in  her  mouth,  and  the  rest  toddled  after  her,  and 
into  a  dark  crack  in  the  rocks  ;  and  there  was  an  end 
of  the  show. 

And  next  he  had  a  fright ;  for,  as  he  scrambled  up 
a  sandy  brow — whirr-poof-poof-cock-cock-kick — some- 
thing went  off  in  his  face,  with  a  most  horrid  noise. 
He  thought  the  ground  had  blown  up,  and  the  end  of 
the  world  come. 

And  when  he  opened  his  eyes  (for  he  shut  them 
very  tight)  it  was  only  an  old  cock-grouse,  who  had 
been  washing  himself  in  sand,  like  an  Arab,  for  want 
of  water ;  and  who,  when  Tom  had  all  but  trodden  on 
him,  jumped  up  with  a  noise  like  the  express  train, 
leaving  his  wife  and  children  to  shift  for  themselves, 
like  an  old  coward,  and  went  off,  screaming  "  Cur-ru-u- 
uck,  cur-ru-u-uck — murder,  thieves,  fire — cur-u-uck- 
cock-kick — the  end  of  the  world  is  come — kick -kick- 
cock-kick."  He  was  always  fancying  that  the  end  of 
the  world  was  come,  when  anything  happened  which 
was  farther  off  than  the  end  of  his  own  nose.  But  the 
end  of  the  world  was  not  come,  any  more  than  the 
twelfth  of  August  was;  though  the  old  grouse-cock 
was  quite  certain  of  it. 

So  the  old  grouse  came  back  to  his  wife  and  family 
an   hour  afterwards,  and   said  solemnly,  "  Cock-cock- 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


39 


kick ;  my  dears,  the  end  of  the  world  is  not  quite 
come ;  but  I  assure  you  it  is  coming  the  day  after  to- 
morrow— cock."  But  his  wife  had  heard  that  so  often 
.that  she  knew  all  about  it,  and  a  little  more.  And, 
besides,  she  was  the  mother  of  a  family,  and  had  seven 
little  poults  to   wash  and  feed   every  day;  and  that 


made  her  very  practical,  and  a  little  sharp-tempered ; 
so  all  she  answered  was :  "  Kick-kick-kick — go  and 
catch  spiders,  go  and  catch  spiders — kick." 

So  Tom  went  on  and  on,  he  hardly  knew  why ;  but 
he  liked  the  great  wide  strange  place,  and  the  cool 
fresh  bracing  air.  But  he  went  more  and  more  slowly 
as  he  got  higher  up  the  hill ;  for  now  the  ground  grew 
very  bad  indeed.      Instead  of   soft  turf  and  springy 


40  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

heather,  he  met  great  patches  of  flat  limestone  rock, 
just  like  ill-made  pavements,  with  deep  cracks  between 
the  stones  and  ledges,  filled  with  ferns ;  so  he  had  to 
hop  from  stone  to  stone,  and  now  and  then  he  slipped 
in  between,  and  hurt  his  little  bare  toes,  though  they 
were  tolerably  tough  ones ;  but  still  he  would  go  on 
and  up,  he  could  not  tell  why. 

What  would  Tom  have  said  if  he  had  seen,  walking 
over  the  moor  behind  him,  the  very  same  Irishwoman 
who  had  taken  his  part  upon  the  road  ?  But  whether 
it  was  that  he  looked  too  little  behind  him,  or  whether 
it  was  that  she  kept  out  of  sight  behind  the  rocks  and 
knolls,  he  never  saw  her,  though  she  saw  him. 

And  now  he  began  to  get  a  little  hungry,  and  very 
thirsty ;  for  he  had  run  a  long  way,  and  the  sun  had 
risen  high  in  heaven,  and  the  rock  was  as  hot  as  an 
oven,  and  the  air  danced  reels  over  it,  as  it  does  over 
a  limekiln,  till  everything  round  seemed  quivering  and 
melting  in  the  glare. 

But  he  could  see  nothing  to  eat  anywhere,  and  still 
less  to  drink. 

The  heath  was  full  of  bilberries  and  whimberries ; 
but  they  were  only  in  flower  yet,  for  it  was  June. 
And  as  for  water,  who  can  find  that  on  the  top  of  a 
limestone  rock  ?  Now  and  then  he  passed  by  a  deep 
dark  swallow-hole,  going  down  into  the  earth,  as  if  it 
was  the  chimney  of  some  dwarfs  house  underground ; 
and  more  than  once,  as  he  passed,  he  could  hear  water 
falling,    trickling,    tinkling,    many    many    feet    below. 


;  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  41 

How  he  longed  to  get  down  to  it,  and  cool  his  poor 
baked  lips  !  But,  brave  little  chimney-sweep  as  he 
was,  he  dared  not  climb  down  such  chimneys  as  those. 

So  he  went  on  and  on,  till  his  head  spun  round 
with  the  heat,  and  he  thought  he  heard  church-bells* 
ringing,  a  long  way  off. 

"  Ah  !  "  he  thought,  "  where  there  is  a  church  there 
will  be  houses  and  people ;  and,  perhaps,  some  one 
will  give  me  a  bit  and  a  sup."  So  he  set  off  again,  to 
look  for  the  church ;  for  he  was  sure  that  he  heard 
the  bells  quite  plain. 

And  in  a  minute  more,  when  he  looked  round,  he 
stopped  again,  and  said,  "  Why,  what  a  big  place  the 
world  is  ! " 

And  so  it  was ;  for,  from  the  top  of  the  mountain 
he  could  see — what  could  he  not  see  ? 

Behind  him,  far  below,  was  Harthover,  and  the 
dark  woods,  and  the  shining  salmon  river;  and  on  his 
left,  far  below,  was  the  town,  and  the  smoking  chimneys 
of  the  collieries ;  and  far,  far  away,  the  river  widened 
to  the  shining  sea ;  and  little  white  specks,  which 
were  ships,  lay  on  its  bosom.  Before  him  lay,  spread 
out  like  a  map,  great  plains,  and  farms,  and  villages, 
amid  dark  knots  of  trees.  They  all  seemed  at  his 
very  feet ;  but  he  had  sense  to  see  that  they  were  long 
miles  away. 

And  to  his  right  rose  moor  after  moor,  hill  after 
hill,  till  they  faded  away,  blue  into  blue  sky.  But 
betA  een  him  and  those  moors,  and  really  at  his  very 


42  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

feet,  lay  something,  to  which,  as  soon  as  Tom  saw  it, 
he  determined  to  go,  for  that  was  the  place  for  him. 

A  deep,  deep  green  and  rocky  valley,  very  narrow, 
and  filled  with  wood ;  but  through  the  wood,  hundreds 
of  feet  below  him,  he  could  see  a  clear  stream  glance. 
Oh,  if  he  could  but  get  down  to  that  stream !  Then, 
by  the  stream,  he  saw  the  roof  of  a  little  cottage,  and 
a  little  garden  set  out  in  squares  and  beds.  And 
there  was  a  tiny  little  red  thing  moving  in  the  garden, 
no  bigger  than  a  fly.  As  Tom  looked  down,  he  saw 
that  it  was  a  woman  in  a  red  petticoat.  Ah !  perhaps 
she  would  give  him  something  to  eat.  And  there 
were  the  church-bells  ringing  again.  Surely  there 
must  be  a  village  down  there.  Well,  nobody  would 
know  him,  or  what  had  happened  at  the  Place.  The 
news  could  not  have  got  there  yet,  even  if  Sir  John 
had  set  all  the  policemen  in  the  county  after  him ; 
and  he  could  get  down  there  in  five  minutes. 

Tom  was  quite  right  about  the  hue-and-cry  not  having 
got  thither ;  for  he  had  come  without  knowing  it,  the 
best  part  of  ten  miles  from  Harthover ;  but  he  was  wrong 
about  getting  down  in  five  minutes,  for  the  cottage  was 
more  than  a  mile  off,  and  a  good  thousand  feet  below. 

However,  down  he  went,  like  a  brave  little  man  as 
he  was,  though  he  was  very  footsore,  and  tired,  and 
hungry,  and  thirsty;  while  the  church-bells  rang  so 
loud,  he  began  to  think  that  they  must  be  inside  his 
own  head,  and  the  river  chimed  and  tinkled  far  below ; 
and  this  was  the  song  which  it  sang : — 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND- BABY 


.43 


\y\LEAR  and  cool,  clear 
and  cool, 
By  laughing  shallow,  and  dreaming  pool ; 

Cool  and  clear,  cool  and  clear, 
By  shining  shingle,  and  foaming  wear  ; 


44  THE  WATER-BABIES 

Under  the  crag  where  the  ouzel  sings, 
And  the  ivied  wall  where  the  church-hell  rings, 
Undefiled,  for  the  undefiled  ; 
Play  by  me,  lathe  in  me,  mother  and  child. 


Dank  and  foul,  dank  and  foul, 
By  the  smoky  town  in  its  murky  cowl; 

Foul  and  dank,  foul  and  dank, 
By  wharf  and  sewer  and  slimy  bank ; 
Darker  and  darker  the  farther  I  go, 
Baser  and  baser  the  richer  I  grow  ; 

Who  dare  sport  with  the  sin-defiled  ? 
Shrink  from  me,  turn  from  me,  mother  and  child. 


Strong  and  free,  strong  and  free, 
The  floodgates  are  open,  away  to  the  sea, 

Free  and  strong,  free  and  strong, 
Cleansing  my  streams  as  I  hurry  along, 
To  the  golden  sands,  and  the  leaping  bar, 
And  the  taintless  tide  that  awaits  me  afar. 
As  I  lose  myself  in  the  infinite  main, 
Like  a  soul  that  has  sinned  and  is  pardoned  again. 
Undefiled,  for  the  undefiled; 
Play  by  me,  bathe  in  me,  mother  and  child. 

So  Tom  went  down ;  and  all  the  while  he  never 
saw  the  Irishwoman  going  down  behind  him. 


"And  is  there  care  in  heaven  ?  and  is  there  love 
In  heavenly  spirits  to  these  creatures  base 
That  may  compassion  of  their  evils  move  ? 
There  is  :— else  much  more  wretched  were  the  case 
Of  men  than  beasts  :     But  oh  !  the  exceeding  grace 
Of  Highest  God  that  loves  His  creatures  so, 
And  all  His  works  with  mercy  doth  embrace, 
That  blessed  Angels  He  sends  to  and  fro, 
To  serve  to  wicked  man,  to  serve  His  wicked  foe  ! " 

Spenser. 


CHAPTEE    II 


MILE  off,  and  a 
thousand  feet 
^\s»  down. 

So  Tom 
found  it ; 
though  it  seemed 
as  if  he  could  have 
chucked  a  pebble 
on  to  the  back  of 
the  woman  in  the 
red  petticoat  who 
was  weeding  in  the 
garden,  or  even 
across  the  dale  to 
the  rocks  beyond. 
For  the  bottom  of 
the  valley  was  just  one  field  broad,  and  on  the  other 
side  ran  the  stream ;  and  above  it,  gray  crag,  gray 
down,  gray  stair,  gray  moor  walled  up  to  heaven. 


48  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

A  quiet,  silent,  rich,  happy  place ;  a  narrow  crack 
cut  deep  into  the  earth;  so  deep,  and  so  out  of  the 
way,  that  the  bad  bogies  can  hardly  find  it  out.  The 
name  of  the  place  is  Vendale ;  and  if  you  want  to  see 
it  for  yourself,  you  must  go  up  into  the  High  Craven, 
and  search  from  Bolland  Forest  north  by  Ingleborough 
to  the  Nine  Standards  and  Cross  Fell ;  and  if  you  have 
not  found  it,  you  must  turn  south,  and  search  the  Lake 
Mountains,  down  to  Scaw  Fell  and  the  sea ;  and  then, 
if  you  have  not  found  it,  you  must  go  northward 
again  by  merry  Carlisle,  and  search  the  Cheviots  all 
across,  from  Annan  Water  to  Berwick  Law ;  and  then, 
whether  you  have  found  Vendale  or  not,  you  will  have 
found  such  a  country,  and  such  a  people,  as  ought  to 
make  you  proud  of  being  a  British  boy. 

So  Tom  went  to  go  down ;  and  first  he  went  down 
three  hundred  feet  of  steep  heather,  mixed  up  with 
loose  brown  gritstone,  as  rough  as  a  file ;  which  was 
not  pleasant  to  his  poor  little  heels,  as  he  came  bump, 
stump,  jump,  down  the  steep.  And  still  he  thought 
he  could  throw  a  stone  into  the  garden. 

Then  he  went  down  three  hundred  feet  of  lime- 
stone terraces,  one  below  the  other,  as  straight  as  if  a 
carpenter  had  ruled  them  with  his  ruler  and  then  cut 
them  out  with  his  chisel.  There  was  no  heath  there, 
but — 

First,  a  little  grass  slope,  covered  with  the  prettiest 
flowers,  rockrose  and  saxifrage,  and  thyme  and  basil, 
and  all  sorts  of  sweet  herbs. 


II  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  49 

Then  bump  down  a  two-foot  step  of  limestone. 

Then  another  bit  of  grass  and  flowers. 

Then  bump  down  a  one-foot  step. 

Then  another  bit  of  grass  and  flowers  for  fifty 
yards,  as  steep  as  the  house -roof,  where  he  had  to 
slide  down  on  his  dear  little  tail. 

Then  another  step  of  stone,  ten  feet  high ;  and 
there  he  had  to  stop  himself,  and  crawl  along  the  edge 
to  find  a  crack ;  for  if  he  had  rolled  over,  he  would 
have  rolled  right  into  the  old  woman's  garden,  and 
frightened  her  out  of  her  wits. 

Then,  when  he  had  found  a  dark  narrow  crack,  full 
of  green-stalked  fern,  such  as  hangs  in  the  basket  in 
the  drawing-room,  and  had  crawled  down  through  it, 
with  knees  and  elbows,  as  he  would  down  a  chimney, 
there  was  another  grass  slope,  and  another  step,  and  so 
on,  till — oh,  dear  me !  I  wish  it  was  all  over ;  and 
so  did  he.  And  yet  he  thought  he  could  throw  a 
stone  into  the  old  woman's  garden. 

At  last  he  came  to  a  bank  of  beautiful  shrubs  ;  white- 
beam  with  its  great  silver-backed  leaves,  and  mountain- 
ash,  and  oak ;  and  below  them  cliff  and  crag,  cliff  and 
crag,  with  great  beds  of  crown-ferns  and  wood-sedge; 
while  through  the  shrubs  he  could  see  the  stream 
sparkling,  and  hear  it  murmur  on  the  white  pebbles. 
He  did  not  know  that  it  was  three  hundred  feet  below. 

You  would  have  been  giddy,  perhaps,  at  looking 
down :  but  Tom  was  not.  He  was  a  brave  little 
chimney-sweep ;  and  when  he  found  himself  on  the 


50  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

top  of  a  high  cliff,  instead  of  sitting  down  and  crying 
for  his  baba  (though  he  never  had  had  any  baba  to 
cry  for),  he  said,  "  Ah,  this  will  just  suit  me ! "  though 
he  was  very  tired ;  and  down  he  went,  by  stock  and 
stone,  sedge  and  ledge,  bush  and  rush,  as  if  he  had 
been  born  a  jolly  little  black  ape,  with  four  hands 
instead  of  two. 

And  all  the  while  he  never  saw  the  Irishwoman 
coming  down  behind  him. 

But  he  was  getting  terribly  tired  now.  The 
burning  sun  on  the  fells  had  sucked  him  up ;  but  the 
damp  heat  of  the  woody  crag  sucked  him  up  still 
more ;  and  the  perspiration  ran  out  of  the  ends  of  his 
fingers  and  toes,  and  washed  him  cleaner  than  he 
had  been  for  a  whole  year.  But,  of  course,  he  dirtied 
everything  terribly  as  he  went.  There  has  been  a 
great  black  smudge  all  down  the  crag  ever  since.  And 
there  have  been  more  black  beetles  in  Vend  ale  since 
than  ever  were  known  before ;  all,  of  course,  owing  to 
Tom's  having  blacked  the  original  papa  of  them  all, 
just  as  he  was  setting  off  to  be  married,  with  a  sky- 
blue  coat  and  scarlet  leggings,  as  smart  as  a  gardener's 
dog  with  a  polyanthus  in  his  mouth. 

At  last  he  got  to  the  bottom.  But,  behold,  it  was 
not  the  bottom — as  people  usually  find  when  they  are 
coming  down  a  mountain.  For  at  the  foot  of  the  crag 
were  heaps  and  heaps  of  fallen  limestone  of  every  size 
from  that  of  your  head  to  that  of  a  stage -waggon, 
with  holes  between  them  full  of  sweet  heath-fern :  and 


n  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  51 

before  Tom  got  through  them,  he  was  out  in  the  bright 
sunshine  again ;  and  then  he  felt,  once  for  all  and 
suddenly,  as  people  generally  do,  that  he  was  b-e-a-t, 
beat. 

You  must  expect  to  be  beat  a  few  times  in  your 
life,  little  man,  if  you  live  such  a  life  as  a  man  ought 
to  live,  let  you  be  as  strong  and  healthy  as  you  may : 
and  when  you  are,  you  will  find  it  a  very  ugly  feeling. 
I  hope  that  that  day  you  may  have  a  stout  staunch 
friend  by  you  who  is  not  beat;  for,  if  you  have  not, 
you  had  best  lie  where  you  are,  and  wait  for  better 
times,  as  poor  Tom  did. 

He  could  not  get  on.  The  sun  was  burning,  and 
yet  he  felt  chill  all  over.  He  was  quite  empty,  and 
yet  he  felt  quite  sick.  There  was  but  two  hundred 
yards  of  smooth  pasture  between  him  and  the  cottage, 
and  yet  he  could  not  walk  down  it.  He  could  hear 
the  stream  murmuring  only  one  field  beyond  it,  and 
yet  it  seemed  to  him  as  if  it  was  a  hundred  miles  off. 

He  lay  down  on  the  grass  till  the  beetles  ran  over 
him,  and  the  flies  settled  on  his  nose.  I  don't  know 
when  he  would  have  got  up  again,  if  the  gnats  and  the 
midges  had  not  taken  compassion  on  him.  But  the 
gnats  blew  their  trumpets  so  loud  in  his  ear,  and  the 
midges  nibbled  so  at  his  hands  and  face  wherever  they 
could  find  a  place  free  from  soot,  that  at  last  he  woke 
up,  and  stumbled  away,  down  over  a  low  wall,  and 
into  a  narrow  road,  and  up  to  the  cottage-door. 

And  a  neat  pretty  cottage  it  was,  with  clipped  yew 


52  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

hedges  all  round  the  garden,  and  yews  inside  too,  cut 
into  peacocks  and  trumpets  and  teapots  and  all  kinds 
of  queer  shapes.  And  out  of  the  open  door  came  a 
noise  like  that  of  the  frogs  on  the  Great- A,  when  they 
know  that  it  is  going  to  he  scorching  hot  to-morrow — 
and  how  they  know  that  I  don't  know,  and  you  don't 
know,  and  nobody  knows. 

He  came  slowly  up  to  the  open  door,  which  was 
all  hung  round  with  clematis  and  roses  ;  and  then 
peeped  in,  half  afraid. 

And  there  sat  by  the  empty  fireplace,  which  was 
filled  with  a  pot  of  sweet  herbs,  the  nicest  old  woman 
that  ever  was  seen,  in  her  red  petticoat,  and  short 
dimity  bedgown,  and  clean  white  cap,  with  a  black 
silk  handkerchief  over  it,  tied  under  her  chin.  At  her 
feet  sat  the  grandfather  of  all  the  cats ;  and  opposite 
her  sat,  on  two  benches,  twelve  or  fourteen  neat,  rosy, 
chubby  little  children,  learning  their  Chris-cross-row ; 
and  gabble  enough  they  made  about  it. 

Such  a  pleasant  cottage  it  was,  with  a  shiny  clean 
stone  floor,  and  curious  old  prints  on  the  walls,  and  an 
old  black  oak  sideboard  full  of  bright  pewter  and  brass 
dishes,  and  a  cuckoo  clock  in  the  corner,  which  began 
shouting  as  soon  as  Tom  appeared:  not  that  it  was 
frightened  at  Tom,  but  that  it  was  just  eleven  o'clock. 

All  the  children  started  at  Tom's  dirty  black 
figure, — the  girls  began  to  cry,  and  the  boys  began  to 
laugh,  and  all  pointed  at  him  rudely  enough  ;  but  Tom 
was  too  tired  to  care  for  that. 


II  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  53 

"  What  art  thou,  and  what  dost  want  ?  "  cried  the 
old  dame.  "A  chimney-sweep!  Away  with  thee! 
I'll  have  no  sweeps  here." 

"  "Water,"  said  poor  little  Tom,  quite  faint. 

"  Water  ?  There's  plenty  i'  the  beck,"  she  said, 
quite  sharply. 

"  But  I  can't  get  there ;  I'm  most  clemmed  with 
hunger  and  drought."  And  Tom  sank  down  upon  the 
door-step,  and  laid  his  head  against  the  post. 

And  the  old  dame  looked  at  him  through  her 
spectacles  one  minute,  and  two,  and  three ;  and  then 
she  said,  "  He's  sick ;  and  a  bairn's  a  bairn,  sweep  or 
none." 

"  Water,"  said  Tom. 

"  God  forgive  me ! "  and  she  put  by  her  spectacles, 
and  rose,  and  came  to  Tom.  "  Water's  bad  for  thee ; 
I'll  give  thee  milk."  And  she  toddled  off  into  the 
next  room,  and  brought  a  cup  of  milk  and  a  bit  of 
bread. 

Tom  drank  the  milk  off  at  one  draught,  and  then 
looked  up,  revived. 

"  Where  didst  come  from  ?  "  said  the  dame. 

"  Over  Fell,  there,"  said  Tom,  and  pointed  up  into 
the  sky. 

"  Over  Harthover  ?  and  down  Lewthwaite  Crag  ? 
Art  sure  thou  art  not  lying  ?  " 

"  Why  should  I  ? "  said  Tom,  and  leant  his  head 
against  the  post. 

"  And  how  got  ye  up  there  ?  " 


54  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

"  I  came  over  from  the  Place ; "  and  Tom  was  so 
tired  and  desperate  he  had  no  heart  or  time  to  think 
of  a  story,  so  he  told  all  the  truth  in  a  few  words. 

"  Bless  thy  little  heart !  And  thou  hast  not  been 
stealing,  then  ? " 

"  No." 

"  Bless  thy  little  heart !  and  I'll  warrant  not. 
Why,  God's  guided  the  bairn,  because  he  was  innocent ! 
Away  from  the  Place,  and  over  Harthover  Fell,  and 
down  Lewthwaite  Crag !  Who  ever  heard  the  like, 
if  God  hadn't  led  him  ?  Why  dost  not  eat  thy 
bread  ? " 

"  I  can't." 

"  It's  good  enough,  for  I  made  it  myself." 

"  I  can't,"  said  Tom,  and  he  laid  his  head  on  his 
knees,  and  then  asked — 

"  Is  it  Sunday  ?  " 

"  No,  then  ;  why  should  it  be  ?  " 

"  Because  I  hear  the  church-bells  ringing  so." 

"  Bless  thy  pretty  heart !  The  bairn's  sick.  Come 
wi'  me,  and  I'll  hap  thee  up  somewhere.  If  thou 
wert  a  bit  cleaner  I'd  put  thee  in  my  own  bed,  for 
the  Lord's  sake.      But  come  along  here." 

But  when  Tom  tried  to  get  up,  he  was  so  tired 
and  giddy  that  she  had  to  help  him  and  lead  him. 

She  put  him  in  an  outhouse  upon  soft  sweet  hay 
and  an  old  rug,  and  bade  him  sleep  off  his  walk,  and 
she  would  come  to  him  when  "school  was  over,  in  an 
hour's  time. 


II  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  55 

And  so  she  went  in  again,  expecting  Tom  to  fall 
fast  asleep  at  once. 

Bnt  Tom  did  not  fall  asleep. 

Instead  of  it  he  turned  and  tossed  and  kicked  about 
in  the  strangest  way,  and  felt  so  hot  all  over  that  he 
longed  to  get  into  the  river  and  cool  himself;  and 
then  he  fell  half  asleep,  and  dreamt  that  he  heard  the 
little  white  lady  crying  to  him,  "  Oh,  you're  so  dirty ; 
go  and  be  washed ;"  and  then  that  he  heard  the  Irish- 
woman saying,  "  Those  that  wish  to  be  clean,  clean 
they  will  be."  And  then  he  heard  the  church-bells 
ring  so  loud,  close  to  him  too,  that  he  was  sure  it  must 
be  Sunday,  in  spite  of  what  the  old  dame  had  said ; 
and  he  would  go  to  church,  and  see  what  a  church 
was  like  inside,  for  he  had  never  been  in  one,  poor 
little  fellow,  in  all  his  life.  But  the  people  would 
never  let  him  come  in,  ah  over  soot  and  dirt  like  that. 
He  must  go  to  the  river  and  wash  first.  And  he  said 
out  loud  again  and  again,  though  being  half  asleep  he 
did  not  know  it,  "  I  must  be  cleai±,  I  must  be  clean." 

And  all  of  a  sudden  he  found  himself,  not  in  the 
outhouse  on  the  hay,  but  in  the  middle  of  a  meadow, 
over  the  road,  with  the  stream  just  before  him,  saying 
continually,  "  I  must  be  clean,  I  must  be  clean."  He 
had  got  there  on  his  own  legs,  between  sleep  and 
awake,  as  children  will  often  get  out  of  bed,  and  go 
about  the  room,  when  they  are  not  quite  well.  But 
he  was  not  a  bit  surprised,  and  went  on  to  the  bank 
of  the  brook,  and  lay  down  on  the  grass,  and  looked 


6B  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

into  the  clear,  clear  limestone  water,  with  every  pebble 
at  the  bottom  bright  and  clean,  while  the  little  silver 
trout  dashed  about  in  fright  at  the  sight  of  his  black 
face ;  and  he  dipped  his  hand  in  and  found  it  so  cool, 
cool,  cool ;  and  he  said,  "  I  will  be  a  fish ;  I  will  swim 
in  the  water ;  I  must  be  clean,  I  must  be  clean." 

So  he  pulled  off  all  his  clothes  in  such  haste  that 
he  tore  some  of  them,  which  was  easy  enough  with  such 
ragged  old  things.  And  he  put  his  poor  hot  sore  feet 
into  the  water ;  and  then  his  legs ;  and  the  farther  he 
went  in,  the  more  the  church-bells  rang  in  his  head. 

"  Ah,"  said  Tom,  "  I  must  be  quick  and  wash 
myself ;  the  bells  are  ringing  quite  loud  now ;  and 
they  will  stop  soon,  and  then  the  door  will  be  shut, 
and  I  shall  never  be  able  io  get  in  at  all." 

Tom  was  mistaken :  for  in  England  the  church 
doors  are  left  open  all  service  time,  for  everybody  who 
likes  to  come  in,  Churchman  or  Dissenter;  ay,  even  if 
he  were  a  Turk  or  a  H>uhen ;  and  if  any  man  dared 
to  turn  him  out,  cg  long  as  he  behaved  quietly,  the 
good  old  English  law  would  punish  that  man,  as  he 
deserved,  for  ordering  any  peaceable  person  out  of 
God's  house,  which  belongs  to  all  alike.  But  Tom 
did  not  know  that,  any  more  than  he  knew  a  great 
deal  more  which  people  ought  to  know. 

And  all  the  while  he  never  saw  the  Irishwoman, 
not  behind  him  this  time,  but  before. 

For  just  before  he  came  to  the  river  side,  she  had 
stept  down  into  the  cool  clear  water;  and  her  shawl 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


57 


and  her  petticoat  floated  off  her,  and  the  green  water- 
weeds  floated  round  her  sides,  and  the  white  water- 


lilies   floated   round   her  head,  and   the  fairies   of  the 
stream  came  up  from  the  bottom  and  bore  her  away 


58  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

and  down  upon  their  arms ;  for  she  was  the  Queen  of 
them  all ;  and  perhaps  of  more  besides. 

"  Where  have  you  been  ?  "  they  asked  her. 

"  I  have  been  smoothing  sick  folks'  pillows,  and 
whispering  sweet  dreams  into  their  ears ;  opening 
cottage  casements,  to  let  out  the  stifling  air;  coax- 
ing little  children  away  from  gutters,  and  foul  pools 
where  fever  breeds ;  turning  women  from  the  gin- 
shop  door,  and  staying  men's  hands  as  they  were  going 
to  strike  their  wives ;  doing  all  I  can  to  help  those 
who  will  not  help  themselves :  and  little  enough  that 
is,  and  weary  work  for  me.  But  I  have  brought  you 
a  new  little  brother,  and  watched  him  safe  all  the  way 
here." 

Then  all  the  fairies  laughed  for  joy  at  the  thought 
that  they  had  a  little  brother  coming. 

"  But  mind,  maidens,  he  must  not  see  you,  or  know 
that  you  are  here.  He  is  but  a  savage  now,  and  like 
the  beasts  which  perish ;  and  from  the  beasts  which 
perish  he  must  learn.  So  you  must  not  play  with 
him,  or  speak  to  him,  or  let  him  see  you :  but  only 
keep  him  from  being  harmed." 

Then  the  fairies  were  sad,  because  they  could  not 
play  with  their  new  brother,  but  they  always  did  what 
they  were  told. 

And  their  Queen  floated  away  down  the  ri^er; 
and  whither  she  went,  thither  she  came.  But  all  this 
Tom,  of  course,  never  saw  or  heard :  and  perhaps  if  he 
had  it  would  have  made  little  difference  in  the  story ; 


ii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BAi. 

for  he  was  so  hot  and  thirsty,  and  longed  „ 
clean  for  once,  that  he  tumbled  himself  as  quick  .. 
could  into  the  clear  cool  stream. 

And  he  had  not  been  in  it  two  minutes  before 
he  fell  fast  asleep,  into  the  quietest,  sunniest,  cosiest 
sleep  that  ever  he  had  in  his  life  ;  and  he  dreamt 
about  the  green  meadows  by  which  he  had  walked 
that  morning,  and  the  tall  elm-trees,  and  the  sleeping 
cows ;  and  after  that  he  dreamt  of  nothing  at  all. 

The  reason  of  his  falling  into  such  a  delightful 
sleep  is  very  simple ;  and  yet  hardly  any  one  has 
found  it  out.  It  was  merely  that  the  fairies  took 
him. 

Some  people  think  that  there  are  no  fairies. 
Cousin  Cramchild  tells  little  folks  so  in  his  Conversa- 
tions. Well,  perhaps  there  are  none — in  Boston, 
U.S.,  where  he  was  raised.  There  are  only  a  clumsy 
lot  of  spirits  there,  who  can't  make  people  hear  with- 
out thumping  on  the  table  :  but  they  get  their  living 
thereby,  and  I  suppose  that  is  all  they  want.  And 
Aunt  Agitate,  in  her  Arguments  on  political  economy, 
says  there  are  none.  Well,  perhaps  there  are  none — 
in  her  political  economy.  But  it  is  a  wide  world,  my 
little  man — and  thank  Heaven  for  it,  for  else,  between 
crinolines  and  theories,  some  of  us  would  get  squashed 
— and  plenty  of  room  in  it  for  fairies,  without  people 
seeing  them ;  unless,  of  course,  they  look  in  the  right 
place.  The  most  wonderful  and  the  strongest  things 
in  the  world,  you  know,  are  just  the  things  which  no 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


see.  There  is  life  in  you ;  and  it  is  the  life 
ol  which  makes  you  grow,  and  move,  and  think  : 
ad  yet  you  can't  see  it.  And  there  is  steam  in  a 
steam-engine ;  and  that  is  what  makes  it  move :  and 
yet  you  can't  see  it ;  and  so  there  may  be  fairies  in 
the  world,  and  they  may  be  just  what  makes  the  world 
go  round  to  the  old  tune  of 

"  C'est  I 'amour,  Vamour,  I'amour 
Qui  fait  la  moncle  a  la  ronde :" 

and  yet  no  one  may  be 
able  to  see  them  except 
those  whose  hearts  are 
going  round  to  that  same 
tune.  At  all  events,  we 
will  make  believe  that  there 
are  fairies  in  the  world.  It 
will  not  be  the  last  time 
by  many  a  one  that  we 
shall  have  to  make  believe. 
And  yet,  after  all,  there  is  no  need  for  that.  There 
must  be  fairies ;  for  this  is  a  fairy  tale :  and  how  can 
one  have  a  fairy  tale  if  there  are  no  fairies  ? 

You  don't  see  the  logic  of  that  ?  Perhaps  not. 
Then  please  not  to  see  the  logic  of  a  great  many 
arguments  exactly  like  it,  which  you  will  hear  before 
your  beard  is  gray. 

The  kind  old  dame  came  back  at  twelve,  when 
school  was   over,  to   look  at  Tom :  but  there  was   no 


II  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  61 

Tom  there.  She  looked  about  for  his  footprints  ;  but 
the  ground  was  so  hard  that  there  was  no  slot,  as  they 
say  in  dear  old  North  Devon.  And  if  you  grow  up 
to  be  a  brave  healthy  man,  you  may  know  some  day 
what  no  slot  means,  and  know  too,  I  hope,  what  a  slot 
does  mean — a  broad  slot,  with  blunt  claws,  which 
makes  a  man  put  out  his  cigar,  and  set  his  teeth, 
and  tighten  his  girths,  when  he  sees  it;  and  what 
his  rights  mean,  if  he  has  them,  brow,  bay,  tray, 
and  points ;  and  see  something  worth  seeing  between 
Haddon  "Wood  and  Countisbury  Cliff,  with  good  Mr. 
Palk  Collyns  to  show  you  the  way,  and  mend  your 
bones  as  fast  as  you  smash  them.  Only  when  that 
jolly  day  comes,  please  don't  break  your  neck ;  stogged 
in  a  mire  you  never  will  be,  I  trust ;  for  you  are  a 
heath-cropper  bred  and  born. 

So  the  old  dame  went  in  again  quite  sulky,  thinking 
that  little  Tom  had  tricked  her  with  a  false  story,  and 
shammed  ill,  and  then  run  away  again. 

-But  she  altered  her  mind  the  next  day.  For, 
when  Sir  John  and  the  rest  of  them  had  run  them- 
selves out  of  breath,  and  lost  Tom,  they  went  back 
again,  looking  very  foolish. 

And  they  looked  more  foolish  still  when  Sir  John 
heard  more  of  the  story  from  the  nurse ;  and  more 
foolish  still,  again,  when  they  heard  the  whole  story 
from  Miss  Ellie,  the  little  lady  in  white.  All  she  had 
seen  was  a  poor  little  black  chimney-sweep,  crying 
and  sobbing,  and  going  to  get  up  the  chimney  again. 


62  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

Of  course,  she  was  very  much  frightened :  and  no 
wonder.  But  that  was  all.  The  boy  had  taken 
nothing  in  the  room ;  by  the  mark  of  his  little  sooty 
feet,  they  could  see  that  he  had  never  been  off  the 
hearthrug  till  the  nurse  caught  hold  of  him.  It  was 
all  a  mistake. 

So  Sir  John  told  Grimes  to  go  home,  and  promised 
him  five  shillings  if  he  would  bring  the  boy  quietly 
up  to  him,  without  beating  him,  that  he  might  be  sure 
of  the  truth.  For  he  took  for  granted,  and  Grimes 
too,  that  Tom  had  made  his  way  home. 

But  no  Tom  came  back  to  Mr.  Grimes  that  evening; 
and  he  went  to  the  police-office,  to  tell  them  to  look 
out  for  the  boy.  But  no  Tom  was  heard  of.  As  for 
his  having  gone  over  those  great  fells  to  Vendale,  they 
no  more  dreamed  of  that  than  of  his  having  gone  to 
the  moon. 

So  Mr.  Grimes  came  up  to  Harthover  next  day 
with  a  very  sour  face;  but  when  he  got  there,  Sir 
John  was  over  the  hills  and  far  away ;  and  Mr. 
Grimes  had  to  sit  in  the  outer  servants'  hall  all  day, 
and  drink  strong  ale  to  wash  away  his  sorrows ;  and 
they  were  washed  away  long  before  Sir  John  came 
back. 

For  good  Sir  John  had  slept  very  badly  that  night ; 
and  he  said  to  his  lady,  "  My  dear,  the  boy  must  have 
got  over  into  the  grouse-moors,  and  lost  himself ;  and 
he  lies  very  heavily  on  my  conscience,  poor  little  lad. 
But  I  know  what  I  will  do." 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


63 


So,  at  five  the  next  morning  up  he  got,  and  into 
his  bath,  and  into  his  shooting-jacket  and  gaiters,  and 
into  the  stableyard,  like  a  fine  old  English  gentleman, 
with  a  face  as  red  as  a  rose,  and  a  hand  as  hard  as 
a  table,  and  a  back  as  broad  as  a  bullock's ;  and 
bade  them  bring  his  shooting  pony,  and  the  keeper 


%. 


to  come  on  his  pony,  and  the  huntsman,  and  the 
first  whip,  and  the  second  whip,  and  the  under- 
keeper  with  the  bloodhound  in  a  leash — a  great  dog 
as  tall  as  a  calf,  of  the  colour  of  a  gravel -walk, 
with  mahogany  ears  and  nose,  and  a  throat  like  a 
church-bell.  They  took  him  up  to  the  place  where 
Tom  had  gone  into  the  wood ;  and  there  the  hound 


64  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

lifted  up  his  mighty  voice,  and  told  them  all  he 
knew. 

Then  he  took  them  to  the  place  where  Tom  had 
climbed  the  wall ;  and  they  shoved  it  down,  and  all 
got  through. 

And  then  the  wise  dog  took  them  over  the  moor, 
and  over  the  fells,  step  by  step,  very  slowly ;  for  the 
scent  was  a  day  old,  you  know,  and  very  light  from 
the  heat  and  drought.  But  that  was  why  cunning  old 
Sir  John  started  at  five  in  the  morning. 

And  at  last  he  came  to  the  top  of  Lewthwaite 
Crag,  and  there  he  bayed,  and  looked  up  in  their  faces, 
as  much  as  to  say,  "  I  tell  you  he  is  gone  down  here  ! " 

They  could  hardly  believe  that  Tom  would  have 
gone  so  far ;  and  when  they  looked  at  that  awful  cliff, 
they  could  never  believe  that  he  would  have  dared  to 
face  it.      But  if  the  dog  said  so,  it  must  be  true. 

"  Heaven  forgive  us  !  "  said  Sir  John.  "  If  we  find 
him  at  all,  we  shall  find  him  lying  at  the  bottom." 
And  he  slapped  his  great  hand  upon  his  great  thigh, 
and  said — 

"  Who  will  go  down  over  Lewthwaite  Crag,  and.  see 
if  that  boy  is  alive  ?  Oh  that  I  were  twenty  years 
younger,  and  I  would  go  down  myself ! "  And  so  he 
would  have  d|>ne,  as  well  as  any  sweep  in  the  county. 
Then  he  said — 

"  Twenty  pounds  to  the  man  who  brings  me  that 
boy  alive ! "  and  as  was  his  way,  what  he  said  he 
meant. 


ii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  65 

Now  among  the  lot  was  a  little  groom-boy,  a  very 
little  groom  indeed ;  and  he  was  the  same  who  had 
ridden  up  the  court,  and  told  Tom  to  come  to  the 
Hall ;  and  he  said — 

"  Twenty  pounds  or  none,  I  will  go  down  over 
Lewthwaite  Crag,  if  it's  only  for  the  poor  boy's  sake. 
For  he  was  as  civil  a  spoken  little  chap  as  ever  climbed 
a  flue." 

So  down  over  Lewthwaite  Crag  he  went :  a  very 
smart  groom  he  was  at  the  top,  and  a  very  shabby  one 
at  the  bottom ;  for  he  tore  his  gaiters,  and  he  tore  his 
breeches,  and  he  tore  his  jacket,  and  he  burst  his  braces, 
and  he  burst  his  boots,  and  he  lost  his  hat,  and  what 
was  worst  of  all,  he  lost  his  shirt  pin,  which  he  prized 
very  much,  for  it  was  gold,  and  he  had  won  it  in  a 
raffle  at  Malton,  and  there  was  a  figure  at  the  top  of 
it,  of  t'ould  mare,  noble  old  Beeswing  herself,  as  natural 
as  life  ;  so  it  was  a  really  severe  loss  :  but  he  never  saw 
anything  of  Tom. 

And  all  the  while  Sir  John  and  the  rest  were 
riding  round,  full  three  miles  to  the  right,  and  back 
again,  to  get  into  Vendale,  and  to  the  foot  of  the 
crag. 

When  they  came  to  the  old  dame's  school,  all  the 
children  came  out  to  see.  And  the  old  dame  came  out 
too  ;  and  when  she  saw  Sir  John,  she  curtsied  very  low, 
for  she  was  a  tenant  of  his. 

"  "Well,  dame,  and  how  are  you  ?  "  said  Sir  John. 

"  Blessings  on  you  as  broad  as  your  back,  Harth- 
F 


66  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

over,"  says  she — she  didn't  call  him  Sir  John,  but  only 
Harthover,  for  that  is  the  fashion  in  the  North  country 
■ — "  and  welcome  into  Vendale  :  but  you're  no  hunting 
the  fox  this  time  of  the  year  ? " 

"  I  am  hunting,  and  strange  game  too,"  said  he. 

"Blessings  on  your  heart,  and  what  makes  you 
look  so  sad  the  morn  ?  " 

"  I'm  looking  for  a  lost  child,  a  chimney-sweep,  that 
is  run  away." 

"Oh,  Harthover,  Harthover,"  says  she,  "ye  were 
always  a  just  man  and  a  merciful ;  and  ye'll  no  harm 
the  poor  little  lad  if  I  give  you  tidings  of  him  ?  " 

"  Not  I,  not  I,  dame.  I'm  afraid  we  hunted  him 
out  of  the  house  all  on  a  miserable  mistake,  and  the 
hound  has  brought  him  to  the  top  of  Lewthwaite 
Crag,  and " 

Whereat  the  old  dame  broke  out  crying,  without 
letting  him  finish  his  story. 

"  So  he  told  me  the  truth  after  all,  poor  little  dear ! 
Ah,  first  thoughts  are  best,  and  a  body's  heart '11  guide 
them  right,  if  they  will  but  hearken  to  it."  And  then 
she  told  Sir  John  all. 

"  Bring  the  dog  here,  and  lay  him  on,"  said  Sir 
John,  without  another  word,  and  he  set  his  teeth  very 
hard. 

And  the  dog  opened  at  once ;  and  went  away  at 
the  back  of  the  cottage,  over  the  road,  and  over  the 
meadow,  and  through  a  bit  of  alder  copse ;  and  there, 
upon  an  alder  stump,  they  saw  Tom's  clothes  lying. 


ii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  67 

And  then  they  knew  as  much  about  it  all  as  there  was 
any  need  to  know. 

And  Tom  ? 

Ah,  now  comes  the  most  wonderful  part  of  this 
wonderful  story.  Tom,  when  he  woke,  for  of  course 
he  woke — children  always  wake  after  they  have  slept 
exactly  as  long  as  is  good  for  them — found  himself 
swimming  about  in  the  stream,  being  about  four  inches, 
or — that  I  may  be  accurate — 3 '87902  inches  long, 
and  having  round  the  parotid  region  of  his  fauces  a  set 
of  external  gills  (I  hope  you  understand  all  the  big 
words)  just  like  those  of  a  sucking  eft,  which  he 
mistook  for  a  lace  frill,  till  he  pulled  at  them,  found 
he  hurt  himself,  and  made  up  his  mind  that  they  were 
part  of  himself,  and  best  left  alone. 

In  fact,  the  fairies  had  turned  him  into  a  water- 
baby. 

A  water-baby?  You  never  heard  of  a  water-baby. 
Perhaps  not.  That  is  the  very  reason  why  this  story 
was  written.  There  are  a  great  many  things  in  the 
world  which  you  never  heard  of ;  and  a  great  many 
more  which  nobody  ever  heard  of;  and  a  great  many 
things,  too,  which  nobody  will  ever  hear  of,  at  least 
until  the  coming  of  the  Cocqcigrues,  when  man  shall 
be  the  measure  of  all  things. 

"  But  there  are  no  such  things  as  water-babies." 

How  do  you  know  that  ?  Have  you  been  there  to 
see  ?  And  if  you  had  been  there  to  see,  and  had  seen 
none,  that  would  not  prove  that  there  were  none.      If 


68 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


Mr.  Garth  does  not  find  a  fox  in  Eversley  Wood — as 
folks  sometimes  fear  he  never  will — that  does  not 
prove  that  there  are  no  such  things  as  foxes.  And  as 
is  Eversley  Wood  to  all  the  woods  in  England,  so  are 
the  waters  we  know  to  all  the  waters  in  the  world. 


And  no  one  has  a  right  to  say  that  no  water-babies  exist, 
till  they  have  seen  no  water-babies  existing ;  which  is 
quite  a  different  thing,  mind,  from  not  seeing  water- 
babies  ;  and  a  thing  which  nobody  ever  did,  or  perhaps 
ever  will  do. 

"  But  surely  if  there  were  water-babies,  somebody 
would  have  caught  one  at  least  ?  " 

Well.      How  do  you  know  that  somebody  has  not  ? 


ii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  69 

"  But  the;,  would  have  put  it  into  spirits,  or  into 
the  Illustrated  Neivs,  or  perhaps  cut  it  into  two  halves, 
poor  dear  little  thing,  and  sent  one  to  Professor  Owen, 
and  one  to  Professor  Huxley,  to  see  what  they  would 
each  say  about  it." 

Ah,  my  dear  little  man  !  that  does  not  follow  at  all, 
as  you  will  see  before  the  end  of  the  story. 

"  But  a  water-baby  is  contrary  to  nature.* 

Well,  but,  my  dear  little  man,  you  must  learn  to 


talk  about  such  things,  when  you  grow  older,  in  a  very 
different  way  from  that.  You  must  not  talk  about 
"  ain't "  and  "  can't "  when  you  speak  of  this  great 
wonderful  world  round  you,  of  which  the  wisest  man 
knows  only  the  very  smallest  corner,  and  is,  as  the 
great  Sir  Isaae  Newton  said,  only  a  child  picking  up 
pebbles  on  the  shore  of  a  boundless  ocean. 

You  must  not  say  that  this  cannot  be,  or  that 
that  is  contrary  to  nature.  You  do  not  know  what 
Nature  is,  or  what  she  can  do ;   and  nobody  knows ; 


70  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

not  even  Sir  Eoderick  Murchison,  or  Professor  Owen, 
or  Professor  Sedgwick,  or  Professor  Huxley,  or  Mr. 
Darwin,  or  Professor  Faraday,  or  Mr.  Grove,  or  any 
other  of  the  great  men  whom  good  boys  are  taught 
to  respect.  They  are  very  wise  men ;  and  you  must 
listen  respectfully  to  all  they  say :  but  even  if  they 
should  say,  which  I  am  sure  they  never  would,  "  That 
cannot  exist.  That  is  contrary  to  nature,"  you  must 
wait  a  little,  and  see ;  for  perhaps  even  they  may  be 
wrong.  It  is  only  children  who  read  Aunt  Agitate's 
Arguments,  or  Cousin  Cramchild's  Conversations;  or 
lads  who  go  to  popular  lectures,  and  see  a  man  pointing 
at  a  few  big  ugly  pictures  on  the  wall,  or  making  nasty 
smells  with  bottles  and  squirts,  for  an  hour  or  two, 
and  calling  that  anatomy  or  chemistry — who  talk  about 
"  cannot  exist,"  and  "  contrary  to  nature."  Wise  men 
are  afraid  to  say  that  there  is  anything  contrary 
to  nature,  except  what  is  contrary  to  mathematical 
truth ;  for  two  and  two  cannot  make  five,  and  two 
straight  lines  cannot  join  twice,  and  a  part  cannot 
be  as  great  as  the  whole,  and  so  on  (at  least, 
so  it  seems  at  present) :  but  the  wiser  men  are, 
the  less  they  talk  about  "  cannot."  That  is  a  very 
rash,  dangerous  word,  that  "  cannot " ;  and  if  people 
use  it  too  often,  the  Queen  of  all  the  Fairies, 
who  makes  the  clouds  thunder  and  the  fleas  bite, 
and  takes  just  as  much  trouble  about  one  as  about 
the  other,  is  apt  to  astonish  them  suddenly  by 
showing  them,  that  though  they  say  she  cannot,  yet 


II  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  71 

she  can,  aL  what  is  more,  will,  whether  they  approve 
or  not. 

And  therefore  it  is,  that  there  are  dozens  and 
hundreds  of  things  in  the  world  which  we  should 
certainly  have  said  were  contrary  to  nature,  if  we  did 
not  see  them  going  on  under  our  eyes  all  day  long. 
If  people  had  never  seen  little  seeds  grow  into  great 
plants  and  trees,  of  quite  different  shape  from  them- 
selves, and  these  trees  again  produce  fresh  seeds,  to 
grow  into  fresh  trees,  they  would  have  said,  "  The  thing 
cannot  be ;  it  is  contrary  to  nature."  And  they  would 
have  been  quite  as  right  in  saying  so,  as  in  saying 
that  most  other  things  cannot  be. 

Or  suppose  again,  that  you  had  come,  like  M.  Du 
Chaillu,  a  traveller  from  unknown  parts ;  and  that  no 
human  being  had  ever  seen  or  heard  of  an  elephant. 
And  suppose  that  you  described  him  to  people,  and 
said,  "  This  is  the  shape,  and  plan,  and  anatomy  of 
the  beast,  and  of  his  feet,  and  of  his  trunk,  and  of 
his  grinders,  and  of  his  tusks,  though  they  are  not 
tusks  at  all,  but  two  fore  teeth  run  mad ;  and  this  is 
the  section  of  his  skull,  more  like  a  mushroom  than  a 
reasonable  skull  of  a  reasonable  or  unreasonable  beast ; 
and  so  forth,  and  so  forth;  and  though  the  beast 
(which  I  assure  you  I  have  seen  and  shot)  is  first 
cousin  to  the  little  hairy  coney  of  Scripture,  second 
cousin  to  a  pig,  and  (I  suspect)  thirteenth  or  fourteenth 
cousin  to  a  rabbit,  yet  he  is  the  wisest  of  all  beasts, 
and   can   do    everything    save   read,   write,   and    cast 


72  THE  WATER-BABIES  *       chap. 

accounts."  People  would  surely  have  said,  .  ,,"*.  nsense ; 
your  elephant  is  contrary  to  nature  ;  "  and  have  thought 
you  were  telling  stories — as  the  French  thought  of 
Le  Yaillant  when  he  came  back  to  Paris  and  said 
that  he  had  shot  a  giraffe ;  and  as  the  king  of  the 
Cannibal  Islands  thought  of  the  English  sailor,  when 
he  said  that  in  his  country  water  turned  to  marble, 
and  rain  fell  as  feathers.  They  would  tell  you,  the 
more  they  knew  of  science,  "  Your  elephant  is  an 
impossible  monster,  contrary  to  the  laws  of  comparative 
anatomy,  as  far  as  yet  known."  To  which  you  would 
answer  the  less,  the  more  you  thought. 

Did  not  learned  men,  too,  hold,  till  within  the  last 
twenty -five  years,  that  a  flying  dragon  was  an.  im- 
possible monster  ?  And  do  we  not  now  know  that 
there  are  hundreds  of  them  found  fossil  up  and  down 
the  world  ?  People  call  them  Pterodactyles  :  but  that 
is  only  because  they  are  ashamed  to  call  them  flying 
dragons,  after  denying  so  long  that  flying  dragons 
could  exist. 

The  truth  is,  that  folks'  fancy  that  such  and  such 
things  cannot  be,  simply  because  they  have  not  seen 
them,  is  worth  no  more  than  a  savage's  fancy  that 
there  cannot  be  such  a  thing  as  a  locomotive,  because 
he  never  saw  one  running  wild  in  the  forest.  /Wise 
men  know  that  their  business  is  to  examine  what  is, 
and  not  to  settle  what  is  not\  They  know  that  there 
are  elephants ;  they  know  that  there  have  been  fly- 
ing dragons ;  and  the  wiser  they  are,  the  less  inclined 


n  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  7b 

they  "will  be  to  say  positively  that  there  are  no  water- 
babies. 

No  water-babies,  indeed  ?  Why,  wise  men  of  old 
said  that  everything  on  earth  had  its  double  in  the 
water ;  and  you  may  see  that  that  is,  if  not  quite  true, 
still  quite  as  true  as  most  other  theories  which  you 
are  likely  to  hear  for  many  a  day.  There  are  land- 
babies — then  why  not  water -babies  ?  Are  there  not 
ivater-rats,  water-Jlies,  water-crickets,  ivater-crabs,  water- 
tortoises,  water -scorpions,  water-tigers  and  water-hogs, 
water -cats  and  water-dogs,  sea-lions  and  sea-bears,  sea- 
horses and  sea- elephants,  sea-mice  and  sea-urchins,  sea- 
razors  and  sea-pens,  sea-combs  and  sea-fans ;  and  of 
plants,  are  there  not  water-grass,  and  water-crowfoot, 
water -milfoil,  and  so  on,  without  end  ? 

"  But  all  these  things  are  only  nicknames ;  the 
water  things  are  not  really  akin  to  the  land  things." 

That's  not  always  true.  They  are,  in  millions  of 
cases,  not  only  of  the  same  family,  but  actually  the 
same  individual  creatures.  Do  not  even  you  know  that 
a  green  drake,  and  an  alder-fly,  and  a  dragon-fly,  live 
under  water  till  they  change  their  skins,  just  as  Tom 
changed  his  ?  And  if  a  water  animal  can  continually 
change  into  a  land  animal,  why  should  not  a  land 
animal  sometimes  change  into  a  water  animal  ?  Don't 
be  put  down  by  any  of  Cousin  Cramchild's  arguments, 
but  stand  up  to  him  like  a  man,  and  answer  hini 
(quite  respectfully,  of  course)  thus  : — 

If  Cousin  Cramchild  says,  that  if  there  are  water- 


ft  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

babies,  they  must  grow  into  water-men,  ask  him  how 
he  knows  that  they  do  not  ?  and  then,  how  he  knows 
that  they  must,  any  more  than  the  Proteus  of  the 
Adelsberg  caverns  grows  into  a  perfect  newt. 

If  he  says  that  it  is  too  strange  a  transformation 
for  a  land -baby  to  turn  into  a  water -baby,  ask  him 
if  he  ever  heard  of  the  transformation  of  Syllis,  or 
the  Distomas,  or  the  common  jelly-fish,  of  which  M. 
Quatrefages  says  excellently  well — "Who  would  not 
exclaim  that  a  miracle  had  come  to  pass,  if  he  saw  a 
reptile  come  out  of  the  egg  dropped  by  the  hen  in 
his  poultry-yard,  and  the  reptile  give  birth  at  once  to 
an  indefinite  number  of  fishes  and  birds  ?  Yet  the 
history  of  the  jelly-fish  is  quite  as  wonderful  as  that 
would  be."  Ask  him  if  he  knows  about  all  this ;  and 
if  he  does  not,  tell  him  to  go  and  look  for  himself; 
and  advise  him  (very  respectfully,  of  course)  to  settle 
no  more  what  strange  things  cannot  happen,  till  he 
has  seen  what  strange  things  do  happen  every  day. 

If  he  says  that  things  cannot  degrade,  that  is, 
change  downwards  into  lower  forms,  ask  him,  who 
told  him  that  water -babies  were  lower  than  land- 
babies  ?  But  even  if  they  were,  does  he  know  about 
the  strange  degradation  of  the  common  goose-barnacles, 
which  one  finds  sticking  on  ships'  bottoms ;  or  the 
still  stranger  degradation  of  some  cousins  of  theirs,  of 
which  one  hardly  likes  to  talk,  so  shocking  and  ugly 
it  is? 

And,  lastly,  if  he  says  (as  he  most  certainly  will) 


II  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  75 

that  these  transformations  only  take  place  in  the  lower 
animals,  and  not  in  the  higher,  say  that  that  seems  to 
little  boys,  and  to  some  grown  people,  a  very  strange 
fancy.  For  if  the  changes  of  the  lower  animals  are 
so  wonderful,  and  so  difficult  to  discover,  why  should 
not  there  be  changes  in  the  higher  animals  far  more 
wonderful,  and  far  more  difficult  to  discover  ?  And 
may  not  man,  the  crown  and  flower  of  all  things, 
undergo  some  change  as  much  more  wonderful  than 
all  the  rest,  as  the  Great  Exhibition  is  more  wonderful 
than  a  rabbit -burrow  ?  Let  him  answer  that.  And 
if  he  says  (as  he  will)  that  not  having  seen  such  a 
change  in  his  experience,  he  is  not  bound  to  believe  it, 
ask  him  respectfully,  where  his  microscope  has  been  ? 
Does  not  each  of  us,  in  coming  into  this  world,  go 
through  a  transformation  just  as  wonderful  as  that  of 
a  sea -egg,  or  a  butterfly?  and  do  not  reason  and 
analogy,  as  well  as  Scripture,  tell  us  that  that  trans- 
formation is  not  the  last  ?  and  that,  though  what  we 
shall  be,  we  know  not,  yet  we  are  here  but  as  the 
crawling  caterpillar,  and  shall  be  hereafter  as  the  perfect 
fly.  The  old  Greeks,  heathens  as  they  were,  saw  as 
much  as  that  two  thousand  years  ago ;  and  I  care  very 
little  for  Cousin  Cramchild,  if  he  sees  even  less  than 
they.  And  so  forth,  and  so  forth,  till  he  is  quite 
cross.  And  then  tell  him  that  if  there  are  no  water- 
babies,  at  least  there  ought  to  be ;  and  that,  at  least. 
he  cannot  answer. 

And  meanwhile,  my  dear  little  man,  till  you  know 


76  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

a  great  deal  more  about  nature  than  Professor  Owen 
and  Professor  Huxley  put  together,  don't  tell  me  about 
what  cannot  be,  or  fancy  that  anything  is  too  wonder- 
ful to  be  true.  "  We  are  fearfully  and  wonderfully 
made,"  said  old  David ;  and  so  we  are ;  and  so  is 
everything  around  us,  down  to  the  very  deal  table. 
Yes ;  much  more  fearfully  and  wonderfully  made, 
already,  is  the  table,  as  it  stands  now,  nothing  but  a 
piece  of  dead  deal  wood,  than  if,  as  foxes  say,  and 
geese  believe,  spirits  could  make  it  dance,  or  talk  to 
you  by  rapping  on  it. 

Am  I  in  earnest  ?  Oh  dear  no  !  Don't  you  know 
that  this  is  a  fairy  tale,  and  all  fun  and  pretence;  and 
that  you  are  not  to  believe  one  word  of  it,  even  if  it 
is  true  ? 

But  at  all  events,  so  it  happened  to  Tom.  And, 
therefore,  the  keeper,  and  the  groom,  and  Sir  John 
made  a  great  mistake,  and  were  very  unhappy  (Sir 
John  at  least)  without  any  reason,  when  they  found 
a  black  thing  in  the  water,  and  said  it  was  Tom's  body, 
and  that  he  had  been  drowned.  They  were  utterly 
mistaken.  Tom  was  quite  alive ;  and  cleaner,  and 
merrier,  than  he  ever  had  been.  The  fairies  had 
washed  him,  you  see,  in  the  swift  river,  so  thoroughly, 
that  not  only  his  dirt,  but  his  whole  husk  and  shell 
had  been  washed  quite  off  him,  and  the  pretty  little 
real  Tom  was  washed  out  of  the  inside  of  it,  and  swam 
away,  as  a  caddis  does  when  its  case  of  stones  and 
silk  is  bored  through,  and  away  it  goes  on  its  back, 


ii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  77 

paddling  to  the  shore,  there  to  split  its  skin,  and  fly 
away  as  a  caperer,  on  four  fawn-coloured  wings,  with 
long  legs  and  horns.  They  are  foolish  fellows,  the 
caperers,  and  fly  into  the  candle  at  night,  if  you  leave 
the  door  open.  We  will  hope  Tom  will  he  wiser,  now 
he  has  got  safe  out  of  his  sooty  old  shell. 

But  good  Sir  John  did  not  understand  all  this, 
not  being  a  fellow  of  the  Linnsean  Society ;  and  he 
took  it  into  his  head  that  Tom  was  drowned.  When 
they  looked  into  the  empty  pockets  of  his  shell,  and 
found  no  jewels  there,  nor  money — nothing  but  three 
marbles,  and  a  brass  button  with  a  string  to  it — then 
Sir  John  did  something  as  like  crying  as  ever  he  did 
in  his  life,  and  blamed  himself  more  bitterly  than 
he  need  have  done.  So  he  cried,  and  the  groom-boy 
cried,  and  the  huntsman  cried,  and  the  dame  cried, 
and  the  little  girl  cried,  and  the  dairymaid  cried,  and 
the  old  nurse  cried  (for  it  was  somewhat  her  fault), 
and  my  lady  cried,  for  though  people  have  wigs,  that 
is  no  reason  why  they  should  not  have  hearts ;  but 
the  keeper  did  not  cry,  though  he  had  been  so  good- 
natured  to  Tom  the  morning  before;  for  he  was  so 
dried  up  with  running  after  poachers,  that  you  could 
no  more  get  tears  out  of  him  than  milk  out  of  leather : 
and  Grimes  did  not  cry,  for  Sir  John  gave  him  ten 
pounds,  and  he  drank  it  all  in  a  week.  Sir  John 
sent,  far  and  wide,  to  find  Tom's  father  and  mother : 
but  he  might  have  looked  till  Doomsday  for  them,  for 
one   was   dead,   and   the    other  was   in   Botany  Bay. 


78  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

And  the  little  girl  would  not  play  with  her  dolls  for 
a  whole  week,  and  never  forgot  poor  little  Tom.  And 
soon  my  lady  put  a  pretty  little  tombstone  over  Tom's 
shell  in  the  little  churchyard  in  Vendale,  where  the 
old  dalesmen  all  sleep  side  by  side  between  the  lime- 
stone crags.  And  the  dame  decked  it  with  garlands 
every  Sunday,  till  she  grew  so  old  that  she  could  not 
stir  abroad ;  then  the  little  children  decked  it  for  her. 
And  always  she  sang  an  old  old  song,  as  she  sat 
spinning  what  she  called  her  wedding-dress.  The 
children  could  not  understand  it,  but  they  liked  it 
none  the  less  for  that ;  for  it  was  very  sweet,  and  very 
sad ;  and  that  was  enough  for  them.  And  these  are 
the  words  of  it : — 


n 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


79 


HEN  all    the 
world  is  young, 
lad, 
And  all  the  trees 

are  green  ; 
And  every  goose  a 

swan,  lad, 
And   every  lass  a 
queen  ; 
Then  hey  for  hoot  and  horse,  lad, 

And  round  the  world  away  ; 
Young  blood  must  have  its  course,  lad, 
And  every  dog  his  day. 


80 


THE  WATER-BABIES 

When  all  the  world  is  old,  lad, 

And  all  the  trees  are  brown  ; 
And  all  the  sport  is  stale,  lad, 

And  all  the  wheels  run  down  ; 
Creep  home,  and  take  your  place  there, 

The  spent  and  maimed  among  : 
God  grant  you  find  one  face  there, 

You  loved  when  all  was  young. 


CHAP 


Those  are  the  words :  but  they  are  only  the  body 
of  it :  the  soul  of  the  song  was  the  dear  old  woman's 
sweet  face,  and  sweet  voice,  and  the  sweet  old  air  to 
which  she  sang ;  and  that,  alas  !  one  cannot  put  on 
paper.     And  at  last  she  grew  so  stiff  and  lame,  that 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


81 


the  angels  were  forced  to  carry  her;  and  they  helped 
her  on  with  her  wedding-dress,  and  carried  her  up 
over  Harthover  Fells,  and  a  long  way  beyond  that  too ; 
and  there  was  a  new  schoolmistress  in  Vendale,  and 
we  will  hope  that  she  was  not  certificated. 

And  all  the  while  Tom  was  swimming  about  in  the 
river,  with  a  pretty  little  lace-collar  of  gills  about  his 
neck,  as  lively  as  a  grig,  and  as  clean  as  a  fresh-run 
salmon. 

Now  if  you  don't  like  my  story,  then  go  to  the 
schoolroom  and  learn  your  multiplication -table,  and 
see  if  you  like  that  better.  Some  people,  no  doubt, 
would  do  so.  So  much  the  better  for  us,  if  not  for 
them.      It  takes  all  sorts,  they  say,  to  make  a  world. 


"  He  prayeth  well  who  loveth  well 
Both  men  and  bird  and  beast ; 
He  prayeth  best  who  loveth  best 
All  things  both  great  and  small : 
For  the  dear  God  who  loveth  us, 
He  made  and  loveth  all. " 

Coleridge. 


CHAPTEK  III 


OM     was     now     quite     am- 
phibious.       You     do     not 
know    what    that    means  ? 
You  had  better,  then, 
ask  the  nearest  Govern- 
ment   pupil -teacher,    who 
may  possibly  answer  you 
smartly  enough,  thus — 

"  Amphibious.  Adjec- 
tive, derived  from  two 
Greek  words,  amphi,  a  fish, 
and  bios,  a  beast.  An  animal  supposed  by  our  ignorant 
ancestors  to  be  compounded  of  a  fish  and  a  beast ; 
which  therefore,  like  the  hippopotamus,  can't  live  on 
the  land,  and  dies  in  the  water." 

However  that  may  be,  Tom  was  amphibious : 
and  what  is  better  still,  he  was  clean.  For  the 
first   time    in    his    life,   he    felt    how    comfortable    it 


84  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

was  to  have  nothing  on  him  but  himself.  But  he 
only  enjoyed  it :  he  did  not  know  it,  or  think  about 
it ;  just  as  you  enjoy  life  and  health,  and  yet  never 
think  about  being  alive  and  healthy;  and  may  it  be 
long  before  you  have  to  think  about  it ! 

He  did  not  remember  having  ever  been  dirty.  In- 
deed, he  did  not  remember  any  of  his  old  troubles, 
being  tired,  or  hungry,  or  beaten,  or  sent  up  dark 
chimneys.  Since  that  sweet  sleep,  he  had  forgotten 
all  about  his  master,  and  Harthover  Place,  and  the 
little  white  girl,  and  in  a  word,  all  that  had  happened 
to  him  when  he  lived  before ;  and  what  was  best  of 
all,  he  had  forgotten  all  the  bad  words  which  he  had 
learned  from  Grimes,  and  the  rude  boys  with  whom 
he  used  to  play. 

That  is  not  strange  :  for  you  know,  when  you  came 
into  this  world,  and  became  a  land-baby,  you  remem- 
bered nothing.  So  why  should  he,  when  he  became 
a  water-baby  ? 

Then  have  you  lived  before  ? 

My  dear  child,  who  can  tell  ?  One  can  only  tell 
that,  by  remembering  something  which  happened 
where  we  lived  before ;  and  as  we  remember  nothing, 
we  know  nothing  about  it ;  and  no  book,  and  no  man, 
can  ever  tell  us  certainly. 

There  was  a  wise  man  once,  a  very  wise  man,  and 
a  very  good  man,  who  wrote  a  poem  about  the  feelings 
which  some  children  have  about  having  lived  before ; 
and  this  is  what  he  said — 


in  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  85 

"  Our  birth  is  but  a  sleep  and  a  forgetting  ; 
The  soul  that  rises  with  us,  our  life's  star, 
Hath  elsewhere  had  its  setting, 
And  cometh  from  afar: 
Not  in  entire  forgetfulness, 
And  not  in  utter  nakedness, 
But  trailing  clouds  of  glory,  do  we  come 
From  God,  who  is  our  home." 

There,  you  can  know  no  more  than  that.  But  if  I 
was  you,  I  would  believe  that.  For  then  the  great 
fairy  Science,  who  is  likely  to  be  queen  of  all  the 
fairies  for  many  a  year  to  come,  can  only  do  you  good, 
and  never  do  you  harm ;  and  instead  of  fancying,  with 
some  people,  that  your  body  makes  your  soul,  as  if  a 
steam-engine  could  make  its  own  coke ;  or,  with  some 
people,  that  your  soul  has  nothing  to  do  with  your 
body,  but  is  only  stuck  into  it  like  a  pin  into  a  pin- 
cushion, to  fall  out  with  the  first  shake ; — you  will 
believe  the  one  true, 

orthodox,  inductive, 

rational,  deductive, 

philosophical,  seductive, 

logical,  productive, 

irrefragable,  salutary, 

nomincdistic,  comfortable, 
realistic, 
and  on-all-accounts-to-be-received 


86 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


doctrine  of  this  wonderful  fairy  tale ;  which  is,  that 
your  soul  makes  your  body,  just  as  a  snail  makes  his 
shell.      For  the  rest,  it  is  enough  for  us  to  be  sure  that 


whether  or  not  we  lived  before,  we  shall  live  again ; 
though  not,  I  hope,  as  poor  little  heathen  Tom  did. 
For  he  went  downward  into  the  water :  but  we,  I  hope, 
shall  go  upward  to  a  very  different  place. 


88 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


But  Tom  was  very  happy  in  the  water.  He  had 
been  sadly  overworked  in  the  land- world ;  and  so  now, 
to  make  up  for  that,  he  had  nothing  but  holidays  in 
the  water -world  for  a  long,  long  time  to  come.  He 
had  nothing  to  do  now  but  enjoy  himself,  and  look 
at  all  the  pretty  things  which  are  to  be  seen  in 
the  cool  clear  water- world,  where  the  sun  is  never 
too  hot,  and  the  frost  is  never  too  cold. 

And  what  did  he  live 
on  ?  Water-cresses,  per- 
haps ;  or  perhaps  water- 
gruel,  and  water -milk  > 
too  many  land-babies  do 
so  likewise.  But  we  do 
not  know  what  one-tenth 
of  the  water -things  eat ; 
so  we  are  not  answerable 
for  the  water-babies. 

Sometimes  he  went 
along  the  smooth  gravel  water-ways,  looking  at  the 
crickets  which  ran  in  and  out  among  the  stones, 
as  rabbits  do  on  land ;  or  he  climbed  over  the 
ledges  of  rock,  and  saw  the  sand -pipes  hanging  in 
thousands,  with  every  one  of  them  a  pretty  little  head 
and  legs  peeping  out;  or  he  went  into  a  still  corner, 
and  watched  the  caddises  eating  dead  sticks  as  greedily 
as  you  would  eat  plum-pudding,  and  building  their  houses 
with  silk  and  glue.  Very  fanciful  ladies  they  were  ; 
none  of  them  would  keep  to  the  same  materials  for  a 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


89 


day.      One  would  begin  with  some  pebbles ;  then  she 

would  stick  on  a  piece  of  green  wood ;  then  she  found 

a  shell,  and  stuck  it  on  too ;  and  the  poor  shell  was 

alive,  and   did  not  like  at  all  being  taken  to  build 

houses  with :  but  the  caddis  did  not  let  him  have  any 

voice  in  the  matter,  being  rude  and  selfish,   as  vain 

people  are  apt  to  be;  then  she  stuck  on   a  piece  of 

rotten  wood,  then  a  very  smart  pink 

stone,  and  so  on,  till  she  was  patched 

all    over    like    an    Irishman's    coat. 

Then    she  found   a   long   straw,  five 

times  as   long   as    herself,  and   said, 

"  Hurrah  !  my  sister  has  a  tail,  and 

I'll  have  one  too ;"  and  she  stuck  it 

on  her  back,  and  marched  about  with 

it  quite  proud,  though  it  was  very 

inconvenient  indeed.     And,  at  that, 

tails  became  all  the  fashion   among 

the    caddis -baits    in    that    pool,    as 

they  were  at  the  end  of    the  Long 

Pond  last  May,  and  they  all  toddled 

about  with  long  straws  sticking  out 

behind,  getting  between  each  other's  legs,  and  tumbling 

over  each  other,  and  looking  so  ridiculous,  that  Tom 

laughed  at  them  till  he  cried,  as  we  did.      But  they 

were  quite  right,  you  know ;  for  people  must  always 

follow  the  fashion,  even  if  it  be  spoon-bonnets. 

Then   sometimes    he    came   to   a   deep  still  reach ; 
and  there  he  saw  the  water-forests.      They  would  have 


90  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

looked  to  you  only  little  weeds :  but  Tom,  you  must 
remember,  was  so  little  that  everything  looked  a  hun- 
dred times  as  big  to  him  as  it  does  to  you,  just  as 
things  do  to  a  minnow,  who  sees  and  catches  the  little 
water-creatures  which  you  can  only  see  in  a  microscope. 

And  in  the  water-forest  he  saw  the  water-monkeys 
and  water -squirrels  (they  had  all  six  legs,  though; 
everything  almost  has  six  legs  in  the  water,  except  efts 
and  water-babies) ;  and  nimbly  enough  they  ran  among 
the  branches.  There  were  water-flowers  there  too,  in 
thousands ;  and  Tom  tried  to  pick  them :  but  as  soon 
as  he  touched  them,  they  drew  themselves  in  and 
turned  into  knots  of  jelly;  and  then  Tom  saw  that 
they  were  all  alive — bells,  and  stars,  and  wheels,  and 
flowers,  of  all  beautiful  shapes  and  colours ;  and  all 
alive  and  busy,  just  as  Tom  was.  So  now  he  found 
that  there  was  a  great  deal  more  in  the  world  than  he 
had  fancied  at  first  sight. 

There  was  one  wonderful  little  fellow,  too,  who 
peeped  out  of  the  top  of  a  house  built  of  round  bricks. 
He  had  two  big  wheels,  and  one  little  one,  all  over 
teeth,  spinning  round  and  round  like  the  wheels  in  a 
thrashing-machine  ;  and  Tom  stood  and  stared  at  him, 
to  see  what  he  was  going  to  make  with  his  machinery. 
And  what  do  you  think  he  was  doing  ?  Brick-making- 
With  his  two  big  wheels  he  swept  together  all  the  mud 
which  floated  in  the  water :  all  that  was  nice  in  it  he 
put  into  his  stomach  and  ate ;  and  all  the  mud  he  put 
into  the  little  wheel  on  his  breast,  which  really  was  a 


in  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND- BABY  91 

round  hole  set  with  teeth ;  and  there  he  spun  it  into 
a  neat  hard  round  brick;  and  then  he  took  it  and 
stuck  it  on  the  top  of  his  house-wall,  and  set  to  work 
to  make  another.  Now  was  not  he  a  clever  little 
fellow  ? 

Tom  thought  so  :  but  when  he  wanted  to  talk  to 
him  the  brick-maker  was  much  too  busy  and  proud  of 
his  work  to  take  notice  of  him. 

Now  you  must  know  that  all  the  things  under  the 
water  talk ;  only  not  such  a  language  as  ours ;  but 
such  as  horses,  and  dogs,  and  cows,  and  birds  talk  to 
each  other;  and  Tom  soon  learned  to  understand  them 
and  talk  to  them ;  so  that  he  might  have  had  very 
pleasant  company  if  he  had  only  been  a  good  boy. 
But  I  am  sorry  to  say,  he  was  too  like  some  other 
little  boys,  very  fond  of  hunting  and  tormenting 
creatures  for  mere  sport.  Some  people  say  that  boys 
cannot  help  it ;  that  it  is  nature,  and  only  a  proof  that 
we  are  all  originally  descended  from  beasts  of  prey. 
But  whether  it  is  nature  or  not,  little  boys  can  help  it, 
and  must  help  it.  For  if  they  have  naughty,  low, 
mischievous  tricks  in  their  nature,  as  monkeys  have, 
that  is  no  reason  why  they  should  give  way  to  those 
tricks  like  monkeys,  who  know  no  better.  And  there- 
fore they  must  not  torment  dumb  creatures  ;  for  if  they 
do,  a  certain  old  lady  who  is  coming  will  surely  give 
them  exactly  what  they  deserve. 

But  Tom  did  not  know  that ;  and  he  pecked  and 
howked  the  poor  water-things   about  sadly,  till  they 


92  THE  WATER-BABIES  char 

were  all  afraid  of  him,  and  got  out  of  his  way,  or  crept 
into  their  shells ;  so  he  had  no  one  to  speak  to  or  play 
with. 

The  water-fairies,  of  course,  were  very  sorry  to  see 
him  so  unhappy,  and  longed  to  take  him,  and  tell  him 
how  naughty  he  was,  and  teach  him  to  be  good,  and 
to  play  and  romp  with  him  too  :  but  they  had  been 
forbidden  to  do  that.  Tom  had  to  learn  his  lesson 
for  himself  by  sound  and  sharp  experience,  as  many 
another  foolish  person  has  to  do,  though  there  may  be 
many  a  kind  heart  yearning  over  them  all  the  while, 
and  longing  to  teach  them  what  they  can  only  teach 
themselves. 

At  last  one  day  he  found  a  caddis,  and  wanted  it 
to  peep  out  of  its  house :  but  its  house-door  was  shut. 
He  had  never  seen  a  caddis  with  a  house-door  before : 
so  what  must  he  do,  the  meddlesome  little  fellow,  but 
pull  it  open,  to  see  what  the  poor  lady  was  doing 
inside.  What  a  shame !  How  should  you  like  to 
have  any  one  breaking  your  bedroom-door  in,  to  see 
how  you  looked  when  you  where  in  bed  ?  So  Tom 
broke  to  pieces  the  door,  which  was  the  prettiest  little 
grating  of  silk,  stuck  all  over  with  shining  bits  of 
crystal ;  and  when  he  looked  in,  the  caddis  poked  out 
her  head,  and  it  had  turned  into  just  the  shape  of  a 
bird's.  But  when  Tom  spoke  to  her  she  could  not 
answer ;  for  her  mouth  and  face  were  tight  tied  up  in 
a  new  night-cap  of  neat  pink  skin.  However,  if  she 
didn't   answer,  all  the  other   caddises   did ;    for   they 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


93 


held  up  their  hands  and  shrieked  like  the  cats  in 
Struwelpeter :  "  Oh,  you  nasty  horrid  hoy ;  there  you 
are  at  it  again  !  And  she  had  just  laid  herself  tip  for 
a  fortnight's  sleep,  and  then  she  would  have  come  out 
with  such  "beautiful  wings,  and  flown  about,  and  laid 
such  lots  of  eggs :   and  now  you   have   broken   her   door, 


and  she  can't  mend  it  because  her  mouth  is  tied  up  for 
a  fortnight,  and  she  will  die.  Who  sent  you  here  to 
worry  us  out  of  our  lives  ?  " 

So  Tom  swam  away.  He  was  very  much  ashamed 
of  himself,  and  felt  all  the  naughtier ;  as  little  boys 
do  when  they  have  done  wrong  and  won't  say  so. 

Then  he  came  to  a  pool  full  of  little  trout,  and 
began  tormenting  them,  and  trying  to  catch  them : 
but  they  slipped  through  his  fingers,  and  jumped  clean 


94  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

out  of  water  in  their  fright.  But  as  Tom  chased 
them,  he  came  close  to  a  great  dark  hover  under  an 
alder  root,  and  out  floushed  a  huge  old  brown  trout 
ten  times  as  big  as  he  was,  and  ran  right  against 
him,  and  knocked  all  the  breath  out  of  his  body ; 
and  I  don't  know  which  was  the  more  frightened  of 
the  two. 

Then  he  went  on  sulky  and  lonely,  as  he  deserved 
to  be ;  and  under  a  bank  he  saw  a  very  ugly  dirty 
creature  sitting,  about  half  as  big  as  himself;  which 
had  six  legs,  and  a  big  stomach,  and  a  most  ridiculous 
head  with  two  great  eyes  and  a  face  just  like  a 
donkey's. 

"  Oh,"  said  Tom,  "  you  are  an  ugly  fellow  to  be 
sure ! "  and  he  began  making  faces  at  him ;  and  put 
his  nose  close  to  him,  and  halloed  at  him,  like  a  very 
rude  boy. 

When,  hey  presto;  all  the  thing's  donkey -face 
came  off  in  a  moment,  and  out  popped  a  long  arm 
with  a  pair  of  pincers  at  the  end  of  it,  and  caught 
Tom  by  the  nose.  It  did  not  hurt  him  much;  but  it 
held  him  quite  tight. 

"  Yah,  ah  !     Oh,  let  me  go  ! "  cried  Tom. 

"  Then  let  me  go,"  said  the  creature.  "  I  want  to 
be  quiet.      I  want  to  split." 

Tom  promised  to  let  him  alone,  and  he  let  go. 
"  Why  do  you  want  to  split  ? "  said  Tom. 

"  Because  my  brothers  and  sisters  have  all  split, 
and  turned  into  beautiful  creatures  with  wings ;  and  I 


in  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  95 

want  to  split  too.  Don't  speak  to  me.  I  am  sure  I 
shall  split.      I  will  split !  " 

Tom  stood  still,  and  watched  him.  And  he  swelled 
himself,  and  puffed,  and  stretched  himself  out  stiff,  and 
at  last — crack,  puff,  bang — he  opened  all  down  his 
back,  and  then  up  to  the  top  of  his  head. 

And  out  of  his  inside  came  the  most  slender, 
elegant,  soft  creature,  as  soft  and  smooth  as  Tom :  but 
very  pale  and  weak,  like  a  little  child  who  has  been 
ill  a  long  time  in  a  dark  room.  It  moved  its  legs 
very  feebly ;  and  looked  about  it  half  ashamed,  like  a 
girl  when  she  goes  for  the  first  time  into  a  ballroom ; 
and  then  it  began  walking  slowly  up  a  grass  stem  to 
the  top  of  the  water. 

Tom  was  so  astonished  that  he  never  said  a  word  : 
but  he  stared  with  all  his  eyes.  And  he  went  up  to 
the  top  of  the  water  too,  and  peeped  out  to  see  what 
would  happen. 

And  as  the  creature  sat  in  the  warm  bright  sun,  a 
wonderful  change  came  over  it.  It  grew  strong  and 
firm ;  the  most  lovely  colours  began  to  show  on  its 
body,  blue  and  yellow  and  black,  spots  and  bars  and 
rings ;  out  of  its  back  rose  four  great  wings  of  bright 
brown  gauze ;  and  its  eyes  grew  so  large  that  they 
filled  all  its  head,  and  shone  like  ten  thousand 
diamonds. 

"  Oh,  you  beautiful  creature  ! "  said  Tom ;  and  he 
put  out  his  hand  to  catch  it. 

But  the  thing  whirred  up  into  the  air,  and  hung 


96 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


poised  on  its  wings  a  moment,  and  then  settled  down 
again  by  Tom  quite  fearless. 


"  No ! "  it  said,  "  you  cannot  catch  me.  I  am  a 
dragon-fly  now,  the  king  of  all  the  flies ;  and  I  shall 
dance  in  the  sunshine,  and  hawk  over  the  river,  and 


HI  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  97 

catch  gnats,  and  have  a  beautiful  wife  like  myself. 
I  know  what  I  shall  do.  Hurrah  ! "  And  he  flew 
away  into  the  air,  and  began  catching  gnats. 

"  Oh !  come  back,  come  back,"  cried  Tom,  "  you 
beautiful  creature.  I  have  no  one  to  play  with,  and  I 
am  so  lonely  here.  If  you  will  but  come  back  I  will 
never  try  to  catch  you." 

"  I  don't  care  whether  you  do  or  not,"  said  the 
dragon-fly ;  "  for  you  can't.  But  when  I  have  had  my 
dinner,  and  looked  a  little  about  this  pretty  place,  I 
will  come  back,  and  have  a  little  chat  about  all  I  have 
seen  in  my  travels.  Why,  what  a  huge  tree  this  is  ! 
and  what  huge  leaves  on  it ! " 

It  was  only  a  big  dock :  but  you  know  the  dragon- 
fly had  never  seen  any  but  little  water-trees ;  starwort, 
and  milfoil,  and  water-crowfoot,  and  such  like  ;  so  it 
did  look  very  big  to  him.  Besides,  he  was  very  short- 
sighted, as  all  dragon -flies  are ;  and  never  could  see  a 
yard  before  his  nose ;  any  more  than  a  great  many 
other  folks,  who  are  not  half  as  handsome  as  he. 

The  dragon-fly  did  come  back,  and  chatted  away 
with  Tom.  He  was  a  little  conceited  about  his  fine 
colours  and  his  large  wings ;  but  you  know,  he  had 
been  a  poor  dirty  ugly  creature  all  his  life  before ;  so 
there  were  great  excuses  for  him.  He  was  very  fond 
of  talking  about  all  the  wonderful  things  he  saw  in  the 
^rees  and  the  meadows ;  and  Tom  liked  to  listen  to 
him,  for  he  had  forgotten  all  about  them.  So  in  a 
little  while  they  became  great  friends. 

H 


98 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


And  I  am  very  glad  to  say,  that  Tom  learned  such 
a  lesson  that  day,  that  he  did  not  torment  creatures 
for  a  long  time  after.  And  then  the  caddises  grew 
quite  tame,  and  used  to  tell  him  strange  stories  about 
the  way  they  built  their   houses,  and   changed   their 

skins,  and  turned  at 
last  into  winged 
flies;  till  Tom  began 
to  long  to  change 
his  skin,  and  have 
wings  like  them 
some  day. 

And  the  trout 
and  he  made  it  up 
(for  trout  very  soon 
forget  if  they  have 
been  frightened  and 
hurt).  So  Tom  used 
to  play  with  them 
at  hare  and  hounds, 
and  great  fun  they 
had ;  and  he  used 
to  try  to  leap  out 
of  the  water,  head 
over  heels,  as  they  did  before  a  shower  came  on;  bit 
somehow  he  never  could  manage  it.  He  liked  most, 
though,  to  see  them  rising  at  the  flies,  as  they  sailed 
round  and  round  under  the  shadow  of  the  great  oak, 
where  the  beetles  fell  flop  into  the  water,  and  the  green 


in  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  99 

caterpillars  let  themselves  down  from  the  boughs 
by  silk  ropes  for  no  reason  at  all ;  and  then  changed 
their  foolish  minds  for  no  reason  at  all  either ;  and 
hauled  themselves  up  again  into  the  tree,  rolling 
up  the  rope  in  a  ball  between  their  paws ;  which 
is  a  very  clever  rope  dancer's  trick,  and  neither 
Blondin  nor  Leotard  could  do  it :  but  why  they 
should  take  so  much  trouble  about  it  no  one  can  tell ; 
for  they  cannot  get  their  living,  as  Blondin  and 
Leotard  do,  by  trying  to  break  their  necks  on  a  string. 

And  very  often  Tom  caught  them  just  as  they 
touched  the  water ;  and  caught  the  alder-flies,  and  the 
caperers,  and  the  cock -tailed  duns  and  spinners, 
yellow,  and  brown,  and  claret,  and  gray,  and  gave 
them  to  his  friends  the  trout.  Perhaps  he  was  not 
quite  kind  to  the  flies ;  but  one  must  do  a  good  turn 
to  one's  friends  when  one  can. 

And  at  last  he  gave  up  catching  even  the  flies ; 
for  he  made  acquaintance  with  one  by  accident  and 
found  him  a  very  merry  little  fellow.  And  this  was 
the  way  it  happened ;  and  it  is  all  quite  true. 

He  was  basking  at  the  top  of  the  water  one  hot 
day  in  July,  catching  duns  and  feeding  the  trout,  when 
he  saw  a  new  sort,  a  dark  gray  little  fellow  with  a 
brown  head.  He  was  a  very  little  fellow  indeed  :  but 
he  made  the  most  of  himself,  as  people  ought  to  do. 
He  cocked  up  his  head,  and  he  cocked  up  his  wings, 
and  he  cocked  up  his  tail,  and  he  cocked  up  the  two 
whisks  at  his   tail-end,  and,  in  short,  he  looked  the 


100  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

cockiest  little  man  of  all  little  men.  And  so  he 
proved  to  be ;  for  instead  of  getting  away,  he  hopped 
upon  Tom's  finger,  and  sat  there  as  bold  as  nine 
tailors ;  and  he  cried  out  in  the  tiniest,  shrillest, 
squeakiest  little  voice  you  ever  heard, 

"  Much  obliged  to  you,  indeed ;  but  I  don't  want 
it  yet." 

"Want  what  ?"  said  Tom,  quite  taken  aback  by  his 
impudence. 

"  Your  leg,  which  you  are  kind  enough  to  hold  out 
for  me  to  sit  on.  I  must  just  go  and  see  after  my 
wife  for  a  few  minutes.  Dear  me !  what  a  trouble- 
some business  a  family  is !"  (though  the  idle  little 
rogue  did  nothing  at  all,  but  left  his  poor  wife  to  lay 
all  the  eggs  by  herself).  "  When  I  come  back,  I  shall 
be  glad  of  it,  if  you'll  be  so  good  as  to  keep  it  sticking 
out  just  so  ;"  and  off  he  flew. 

Tom  thought  him  a  very  cool  sort  of  personage ; 
and  still  more  so,  when,  in  five  minutes  he  came  back, 
and  said — "  Ah,  you  were  tired  waiting  ?  Well,  your 
other  leg  will  do  as  well." 

And  he  popped  himself  down  on  Tom's  knee,  and 
began  chatting  away  in  his  squeaking  voice. 

"  So  you  live  under  the  water  ?  It's  a  low  place. 
I  lived  there  for  some  time ;  and  was  very  shabby 
and  dirty.  But  I  didn't  choose  that  that  should  last 
So  I  turned  respectable,  and  came  up  to  the  top,  and 
put  on  this  gray  suit.  It's  a  very  business-like  suit, 
you  think,  don't  you  ? " 


in  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  101 

"  Very  neat  and  quiet  indeed,"  said  Tom. 

"Yes,  one  must  be  quiet  and  neat  and  respectable, 
and  all  that  sort  of  thing  for  a  little,  when  one 
becomes  a  family  man.  But  I'm  tired  of  it,  that's 
the  truth.  I've  done  quite  enough  business,  I  con- 
sider, in  the  last  week,  to  last  me  my  life.  So  I  shall 
pat  on  a  ball  dress,  and  go  out  and  be  a  smart  man, 
and  see  the  gay  world,  and  have  a  dance  or  two. 
Why  shouldn't  one  be  jolly  if  one  can  ?" 

"And  what  will  become  of  your  wife  ?" 

"  Oh !  she  is  a  very  plain  stupid  creature,  and 
that's  the  truth ;  and  thinks  about  nothing  but  eggs. 
If  she  chooses  to  come,  why  she  may ;  and  if  not, 
why  I  go  without  her; — and  here  I  go." 

And,  as  he  spoke,  he  turned  quite  pale,  and  then 
quite  white. 

"Why,  you're  ill!"  said  Tom.  But  he  did  not 
answer. 

"  You're  dead,"  said  Tom,  looking  at  him  as  he 
stood  on  his  knee  as  white  as  a  ghost. 

"No,  I  ain't!"  answered  a  little  squeaking  voice 
over  his  head.  "  This  is  me  up  here,  in  my  ball- 
dress  ;  and  that's  my  skin.  Ha,  ha  !  you  could  not 
do  such  a  trick  as  that ! " 

And  no  more  Tom  could,  nor  Houdin,  nor  Eobin, 
nor  Frikell,  nor  all  the  conjurors  in  the  world.  For 
the  little  rogue  had  jumped  clean  out  of  his  own  skin, 
and  left  it  standing  on  Tom's  knee,  eyes,  wings,  legs, 
tail,  exactly  as  if  it  had  been  alive. 


102  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

"  Ha,  ha  !"  he  said,  and  he  jerked  and  skipped  up 
and  down,  never  stopping  an  instant,  just  as  if  he 
had  St.  Vitus's  dance.  "Ain't  I  a  pretty  fellow 
now  ?" 

And  so  he  was ;  for  his  body  was  white,  and  his 
tail  orange,  and  his  eyes  all  the  colours  of  a  peacock's 
tail.  And  what  was  the  oddest  of  all,  the  whisks  at 
the  end  of  his  tail  had  grown  five  times  as  long  as 
they  were  before. 

"Ah!"  said  he,  "now  I  will  see  the  gay  world. 
My  living  won't  cost  me  much,  for  I  have  no  mouth, 
you  see,  and  no  inside ;  so  I  can  never  be  hungry  nor 
have  the  stomach-ache  neither." 

No  more  he  had.  He  had  grown  as  dry  and  hard 
and  empty  as  a  quill,  as  such  silly  shallow-hearted 
fellows  deserve  to  grow. 

But,  instead  of  being  ashamed  of  his  emptiness,  he 
was  quite  proud  of  it,  as  a  good  many  fine  gentle- 
men are,  and  began  flirting  and  flipping  up  and  down, 
and  singing — 

"  My  wife  shall  dance,  and  I  shall  sing, 
So  merrily  pass  the  day  ; 
For  I  hold  it  for  quite  the  wisest  thing, 
To  drive  dull  care  away." 

And  he  danced  up  and  down  for  three  days  and 
three  nights,  till  he  grew  so  tired,  that  he  tumbled 
into  the  water,  and  floated  down.  But  what  became 
of  him  Tom  never  knew,  and  he  himself  never  minded ; 


in  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOE,  A  LAND-BABY  103 

for  Tom  heard  him  singing  to  the  last,  as  he  floated 
down — 

"  To  drive  dull  care  away-ay-ay  !  " 

And  if  he  did  not  care,  why  nobody  else  cared 
either. 

But  one  day  Tom  had  a  new  adventure.  He  was 
sitting  on  a  water-lily  leaf,  he  and  his  friend  the 
dragon-fly,  watching  the  gnats  dance.  The  dragon- 
fly had  eaten  as  many  as  he  wanted,  and  was  sitting 
quite  still  and  sleepy,  for  it  was  very  hot  and 
bright.  The  gnats  (who  did  not  care  the  least  for 
their  poor  brothers'  death)  danced  a  foot  over  his  head 
quite  happily,  and  a  large  black  fly  settled  within  an 
inch  of  his  nose,  and  began  washing  his  own  face  and 
combing  his  hair  with  his  paws :  but  the  dragon-fly 
never  stirred,  and  kept  on  chatting  to  Tom  about  the 
times  when  he  lived  under  the  water. 

Suddenly,  Tom  heard  the  strangest  noise  up  the 
stream ;  cooing,  and  grunting,  and  whining,  and 
squeaking,  as  if  you  had  put  into  a  bag  two  stock- 
doves, nine  mice,  three  guinea-pigs,  and  a  blind  puppy, 
and  left  them  there  to  settle  themselves  and  make 
music. 

He  looked  up  the  water,  and  there  he  saw  a  sight 
as  strange  as  the  noise ;  a  great  ball  rolling  over  and 
over  down  the  stream,  seeming  one  moment  of  soft 
brown  fur,  and  the  next  of  shining  glass  :  and  yet  it 
was    not    a  ball ;     for    sometimes    it    broke    up    and 


104  THE  WATER-BABIES  Chap. 

streamed  away  in  pieces,  and  then  it  joined  again-, 
and  all  the  while  the  noise  came  out  of  it  louder  and 
louder. 

Tom  asked  the  dragon-fly  what  it  could  be :  but, 
of  course,  with  his  short  sight,  he  could  not  even  see 
it,  though  it  was  not  ten  yards  away.  So  he  took  the 
neatest  little  header  into  the  water,  and  started  off  to 
see  for  himself ;  and,  when  he  came  near,  the  ball 
turned  out  to  be  four  or  five  beautiful  creatures,  many 
times  larger  than  Tom,  who  were  swimming  about,  and 
rolling,  and  diving,  and  twisting,  and  wrestling,  and 
cuddling,  and  kissing,  and  biting,  and  scratching,  in 
the  most  charming  fashion  that  ever  was  seen.  And 
if  you  don't  believe  me,  you  may  go  to  the  Zoological 
Gardens  (for  I  am  afraid  that  you  won't  see  it  nearer, 
unless,  perhaps,  you  get  up  at  five  in  the  morning,  and 
go  down  to  Cordery's  Moor,  and  watch  by  the  great 
withy  pollard  which  hangs  over  the  backwater,  where 
the  otters  breed  sometimes),  and  then  say,  if  otters  at 
play  in  the  water  are  not  the  merriest,  lithest,  grace- 
fullest  creatures  you  ever  saw. 

But,  when  the  biggest  of  them  saw  Tom,  she  darted 
out  from  the  rest,  and  cried  in  the  water-language 
sharply  enough,  "  Quick,  children,  here  is  something 
to  eat,  indeed!"  and  came  at  poor  Tom,  showing  such 
a  wicked  pair  of  eyes,  and  such  a  set  of  sharp  teeth  in 
a  grinning  mouth,  that  Tom,  who  had  thought  her 
very  handsome,  said  to  himself,  Handsome  is  that 
handsome  does,  and  slipped  in  between  the  water-lily 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


105 


roots  as  fast  as  he  could,  and  then  turned  round  and 
made  faces  at  her. 

"  Come  out,"  said  the  wicked  old  otter,  "  or  it  will 
be  worse  for  you." 

But  Tom  looked  at  her  from  between  two  thick 
roots,  and  shook  them  with  all  his  might,  making 
horrible   faces   all   the  while,  just   as  he  used  to  grin 


through  the  railings  at  the  old  women,  when  he  lived 
before.  It  was  not  quite  well  bred,  no  doubt ;  but 
you  know,  Tom  had  not  finished  his  education  yet. 

"  Come,  away,  children,"  said  the  otter  in  disgust, 
"  it  is  not  worth  eating,  after  all.  It  is  only  a  nasty 
eft,  which  nothing  eats,  not  even  those  vulgar  pike  in 
the  pond." 

"  I  am  not  an  eft !"  said  Tom  ;  "  efts  have  tails." 


106  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap,  hi 

"  You  are  an  eft,"  said  the  otter,  very  positively ; 
"  I  see  your  two  hands  quite  plain,  and  I  know  you 
have  a  tail." 

"  I  tell  you  I  have  not,"  said  Tom.  "  Look  here  !" 
and  he  turned  his  pretty  little  self  quite  round ;  and, 
sure  enough,  he  had  no  more  tail  than  you. 

The  otter  might  have  got  out  of  it  by  saying  that 
Tom  was  a  frog :  but,  like  a  great  many  other  people, 
when  she  had  once  said  a  thing,  she  stood  to  it,  right 
or  wrong  ;  so  she  answered  : 

"  I  say  you  are  an  eft,  and  therefore  you  are,  and 
not  fit  food  for  gentlefolk  like  me  and  my  children. 
You  may  stay  there  till  the  salmon  eat  you  (she  knew 
the  salmon  would  not,  but  she  wanted  to  frighten 
poor  Tom).  Ha  !  ha  !  they  will  eat  you,  and  we  will 
eat  them ;"  and  the  otter  laughed  such  a  wicked  cruel 
laugh — as  you  may  hear  them  do  sometimes ;  and 
the  first  time  that  you  hear  it  you  will  probably  think 
it  is  bogies. 

"  What  are  salmon  ?"  asked  Tom. 

"  Fish,  you  eft,  great  fish,  nice  fish  to  eat.  They 
are  the  lords  of  the  fish,  and  we  are  lords  of  the 
salmon ;"  and  she  laughed  again.  "  We  hunt  them 
up  and  down  the  pools,  and  drive  them  up  into  a 
corner,  the  silly  things  ;  they  are  so  proud,  and  bully 
the  little  trout,  and  the  minnows,  till  they  see  us 
coming,  and  then  they  are  so  meek  all  at  once ;  and 
we  catch  them,  but  we  disdain  to  eat  them  all ;  we 
just  bite  out  their  soft  throats  and  suck  their  sweet 


*»~7  i/- 


108  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

juice — Oh,  so  good!" — (and  she  licked  her  wicked 
lips) — "  and  then  throw  them  away,  and  go  and  catch 
another.  They  are  coming  soon,  children,  coming 
soon ;  I  can  smell  the  rain  coming  up  off  the  sea,  and 
then  hurrah  for  a  fresh,  and  salmon,  and  plenty  of 
eating  all  day  long." 

And  the  otter  grew  so  proud  that  she  turned  head 
over  heels  twice,  and  then  stood  upright  half  out  of 
the  water,  grinning  like  a  Cheshire  cat. 

"  And  where  do  they  come  from  I"  asked  Tom, 
who  kept  himself  very  close,  for  he  was  considerably 
frightened. 

"  Out  of  the  sea,  eft,  the  great  wide  sea,  where  they 
might  stay  and  be  safe  if  they  liked.  But  out  of  the 
sea  the  silly  things  come,  into  the  great  river  down 
below,  and  we  come  up  to  watch  for  them ;  and  when 
they  go  down  again  we  go  down  and  follow  them. 
And  there  we  fish  for  the  bass  and  the  pollock,  and 
have  jolly  days  along  the  shore,  and  toss  and  roll  in 
the  breakers,  and  sleep  snug  in  the  warm  dry  crags. 
Ah,  that  is  a  merry  life  too,  children,  if  it  were  not 
for  those  horrid  men." 

"What  are  men?"  asked  Tom;  but  somehow  he 
seemed  to  know  before  he  asked. 

"  Two-legged  things,  eft :  and,  now  I  come  to  look 
at  you,  they  are  actually  something  like  you,  if  you 
had  not  a  tail "  (she  was  determined  that  Tom  should 
have  a  tail),  "  only  a  great  deal  bigger,  worse  luck  for 
us ;    and  they  catch   the  fish  with  hooks   and   lines, 


in  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  108 

which  get  into  our  feet  sometimes,  and  set  pots  along 
the  rocks  to  catch  lobsters.  They  speared  my  poor 
dear  husband  as  he  went  out  to  find  something  for  me 
to  eat.  I  was  laid  up  among  the  crags  then,  and  we 
were  very  low  in  the  world,  for  the  sea  was  so  rough 
that  no  fish  would  come  in  shore.  But  they  speared 
him,  poor  fellow,  and  I  saw  them  carrying  him  away 
upon  a  pole.  Ah,  he  lost  his  life  for  your  sakes, 
my  children,  poor  dear  obedient  creature  that  he 
was." 

And  the  otter  grew  so  sentimental  (for  otters  can 
be  very  sentimental  when  they  choose,  like  a  good 
many  people  who  are  both  cruel  and  greedy,  and  no 
good  to  anybody  at  all)  that  she  sailed  solemnly  away 
down  the  burn,  and  Tom  saw  her  no  more  for  that 
time.  And  lucky  it  was  for  her  that  she  did  so ;  for 
no  sooner  was  she  gone,  than  down  the  bank  came 
seven  little  rough  terrier  dogs,  snuffing  and  yapping, 
and  grubbing  and  splashing,  in  full  cry  after  the  otter. 
Tom  hid  among  the  water-lilies  till  they  were  gone ; 
for  he  could  not  guess  that  they  were  the  water-fairies 
come  to  help  him. 

But  he  could  not  help  thinking  of  what  the  otter 
had  said  about  the  great  river  and  the  broad  sea. 
And,  as  he  thought,  he  longed  to  go  and  see  them. 
He  could  not  tell  why ;  but  the  more  he  thought,  the 
more  he  grew  discontented  with  the  narrow  little 
stream  in  which  he  lived,  and  all  his  companions 
there ;   and   wanted   to   get   out   into   the   wide  wide 


110  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

world,  and  enjoy  all  the  wonderful  sights  of  which  he 
was  sure  it  was  full. 

And  once  he  set  off  to  go  down  the  stream.  But 
the  stream  was  very  low ;  and  when  he  came  to  the 
shallows  he  could  not  keep  under  water,  for  there  was 
no  water  left  to  keep  under.  So  the  sun  "burned  his 
back  aud  made  him  sick ;  and  he  went  back  again 
and  lay  quiet  in  the  pool  for  a  whole  week  more. 

And  then,  on  the  evening  of  a  very  hot  day,  he 
saw  a  sight. 

He  had  been  very  stupid  all  day,  and  so  had  the 
trout ;  for  they  would  not  move  an  inch  to  take  a  fly, 
though  there  were  thousands  on  the  water,  but  lay 
dozing  at  the  bottom  under  the  shade  of  the  stones ; 
and  Tom  lay  dozing  too,  and  was  glad  to  cuddle  their 
smooth  cool  sides,  for  the  water  was  quite  warm  and 
unpleasant. 

But  toward  evening  it  grew  suddenly  dark,  and 
Tom  looked  up  and  saw  a  blanket  of  black  clouds 
lying  right  across  the  valley  above  his  head,  resting 
on  the  crags  right  and  left.  He  felt  not  quite 
frightened,  but  very  still ;  for  everything  was  still. 
There  was  not  a  whisper  of  wind,  nor  a  chirp  of  a 
bird  to  be  heard ;  and  next  a  few  great  drops  of  rain 
fell  plop  into  the  water,  and  one  hit  Tom  on  the  nose, 
and  made  him  pop  his  head  down  quickly  enough. 

And  then  the  thunder  roared,  and  the  lightning 
flashed,  and  leapt  across  Vendale  and  back  again,  from 
cloud  to  cloud,  and  cliff  to  cliff,  till  the  very  rocks  in 


in  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  111 

the  stream  seemed  to  shake :  and  Tom  looked  up  at 
it  through  the  water,  and  thought  it  the  finest  thing 
he  ever  saw  in  his  life. 

But  out  of  the  water  he  dared  not  put  his  head ; 
for  the  rain  came  down  by  bucketsful,  and  the  hail 
hammered  like  shot  on  the  stream,  and  churned  it 
into  foam ;  and  soon  the  stream  rose,  and  rushed 
down,  higher  and  higher,  and  fouler  and  fouler,  full  of 
beetles,  and  sticks ;  and  straws,  and  worms,  and  addle- 
eggs,  and  wood-lice,  and  leeches,  and  odds  and  ends, 
and  omnium-gatherums,  and  this,  that,  and  the  other, 
enough  to  fill  nine  museums. 

Tom  could  hardly  stand  against  the  stream,  and 
hid  behind  a  rock.  But  the  trout  did  not;  for  out 
they  rushed  from  among  the  stones,  and  began  gobbling 
the  beetles  and  leeches  in  the  most  greedy  and  quarrel- 
some way,  and  swimming  about  with  great  worms 
hanging  out  of  their  mouths,  tugging  and  kicking  to 
get  them  away  from  each  other. 

And  now,  by  the  flashes  of  the  lightning,  Tom  saw 
a  new  sight — all  the  bottom  of  the  stream  alive  with 
great  eels,  turning  and  twisting  along,  all  down  stream 
and  away.  They  had  been  hiding  for  weeks  past  in  the 
cracks  of  the  rocks,  and  in  burrows  in  the  mud;  and 
Tom  had  hardly  ever  seen  them,  except  now  and  then 
at  night :  but  now  they  were  all  out,  and  went 
hurrying  past  him  so  fiercely  and  wildly  that  he  was 
quite  frightened.  And  as  they  hurried  past  he  could 
hear  them  say  to  each  other,  "  "We  must  run,  we  must 


112 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


run.       What   a  jolly   thunderstorm !       Down   to   the 
sea,  down  to  the  sea !" 


in  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  113 

And  then  the  otter  came  by  with  all  her  brood, 
twining  and  sweeping  along  as  fast  as  the  eels  them- 
selves ;  and  she  spied  Tom  as  she  came  by,  and  said : 

"Now  is  your  time,  eft,  if  you  want  to  see  the 
world.  Come  along,  children,  never  mind  those  nasty 
eels  :  we  shall  breakfast  on  salmon  to-morrow.  Down 
to  the  sea,  down  to  the  sea  !" 

Then  came  a  flash  brighter  than  all  the  rest,  and 
by  the  light  of  it — in  the  thousandth  part  of  a  second 
they  were  gone  again — but  he  had  seen  them,  he  was 
certain  of  it — Three  beautiful  little  white  girls,  with 
their  arms  twined  round  each  other's  necks,  floating 
down  the  torrent,  as  they  sang,  "Down  to  the  sea, 
down  to  the  sea  !'"' 

"  Oh  stay  !  Wait  for  me!"  cried  Tom  ;  but  they 
were  gone :  yet  he  could  hear  their  voices  clear  and 
sweet  through  the  roar  of  thunder  and  water  and 
wind,  singing  as  they  died  away,  "  Down  to  the  sea !" 

"  Down  to  the  sea  ? "  said  Tom  ;  "  everything  is 
going  to  the  sea,  and  I  will  go  too.  Good-bye,  trout." 
But  the  trout  were  so  busy  gobbling  worms  that  they 
never  turned  to  answer  him  ;  so  that  Tom  was  spared 
the  pain  of  bidding  them  farewell. 

And  now,  down  the  rushing  stream,  guided  by  the 
bright  flashes  of  the  storm;  past  tall  birch -fringed 
rocks,  which  shone  out  one  moment  as  clear  as  day, 
and  the  next  were  dark  as  night ;  past  dark  hovers 
under  swirling  banks,  from  which  great  trout  rushed 
out   on   Tom,  thinking  him  to  be  good    to    eat,    and 

I 


114  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

turned  back  sulkily,  for  the  fairies  sent  them  home 
again  with  a  tremendous  scolding,  for  daring  to  meddle 
with  a  water -baby;  on  through  narrow  strids  and 
roaring  cataracts,  where  Tom  was  deafened  and 
blinded  for  a  moment  by  the  rushing  waters ;  along 
deep  reaches,  where  the  white  water-lilies  tossed  and 
flapped  beneath  the  wind  and  hail ;  past  sleeping 
villages;  under  dark  bridge -arches,  and  away  and 
away  to  the  sea.  And  Tom  could  not  stop,  and 
did  not  care  to  stop ;  he  would  see  the  great  world 
below,  and  the  salmon,  and  the  breakers,  and  the 
wide  wide  sea. 

And  when  the  daylight  came,  Tom  found  himself 
out  in  the  salmon  river. 

And  what  sort  of  a  river  was  it  ?  Was  it  like  an 
Irish  stream,  winding  through  the  brown  bogs,  where 
the  wild  ducks  squatter  up  from  among  the  white 
water-lilies,  and  the  curlews  flit  to  and  fro,  crying 
"  Tullie-wheep,  mind  your  sheep ;"  and  Dennis  tells 
you  strange  stories  of  the  Peishtamore,  the  great  bogy- 
snake  which  lies  in  the  black  peat  pools,  among  the 
old  pine-stems,  and  puts  his  head  out  at  night  to  snap 
at  the  cattle  as  they  come  down  to  drink  ? — But  you 
must  not  believe  all  that  Dennis  tells  you,  mind ;  for 
if  you  ask  him  : 

"  Is  there  a  salmon  here,  do  you  think,  Dennis  ?" 

"  Is  it  salmon,  thin,  your  honour  manes  ?  Salmon  ? 
Cartloads  it  is  of  thim,  thin,  an'  ridgmens,  shouldthering 
ache  out  of  water,  av'  ye'd  but  the  luck  to  see  thim." 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


115 


Then  you  fish  the  pool  all  over,  and  never  get  a 


rise. 


"  But  there  can't  be  a  salmon  here,  Dennis  !  and, 
if  you'll  but  think,  if  one  had  come  up  last  tide,  he'd 
be  gone  to  the  higher  pools  by  now." 

"  Shure  thin,  and  your  honour's  the  thrue  fisher- 


man, and  understands  it  all  like  a  book.  Why,  ye 
spake  as  if  ye'd  known  the  wather  a  thousand  years  ! 
As  I  said,  how  could  there  be  a  fish  here  at  all,  just 
now  ? " 

"But  you  said  just  now  they  were  shouldering 
each  other  out  of  water  ? " 

And   then  Dennis  will   look  up  at  you  with  his 


116  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

handsome,  sly,  soft,  sleepy,  good-natured,  untrustable, 
Irish  gray  eye,  and  answer  with  the  prettiest  smile : 

"  Shure,  and  didn't  I  think  your  honour  would  like 
a  pleasant  answer  ?" 

So  you  must  not  trust  Dennis,  because  he  is  in  the 
habit  of  giving  pleasant  answers  :  but,  instead  of  being 
angry  with  him,  you  must  remember  that  he  is  a  poor 
Paddy,  and  knows  no  better ;  so  you  must  just  burst 
out  laughing ;  and  then  he  will  burst  out  laughing  too, 
and  slave  for  you,  and  trot  about  after  you,  and  show 
you  good  sport  if  he  can- — -for  he  is  an  affectionate 
fellow,  and  as  fond  of  sport  as  you  are — and  if  he 
can't,  tell  you  fibs  instead,  a  hundred  an  hour;  and 
wonder  all  the  while  why  poor  ould  Ireland  does  not 
prosper  like  England  and  Scotland,  and  some  other 
places,  where  folk  have  taken  up  a  ridiculous  fancy 
that  honesty  is  the  best  policy. 

Or  was  it  like  a  Welsh  salmon  river,  which  is 
remarkable  chiefly  (at  least,  till  this  last  year)  for 
containing  no  salmon,  as  they  have  been  all  poached 
out  by  the  enlightened  peasantry,  to  prevent  the 
Cythrawl  Sassenach  (which  means  you,  my  little  dear, 
your  kith  and  kin,  and  signifies  much  the  same  as  the 
Chinese  Fan  Quei)  from  coming  bothering  into  Wales, 
with  good  tackle,  and  ready  money,  and  civilisation, 
and  common  honesty,  and  other  like  things  of  which 
the  Cymry  stand  in  no  need  whatsoever  ? 

Or  was  it  such  a  salmon  stream  as  I  trust  you  will 
see  among  the  Hampshire  water-meadows  before  vour 


in  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  117 

hairs  are  gray,  under  the  wise  new  fishing-laws  ? — 
when  Winchester  apprentices  shall  covenant,  as  they 
did  three  hundred  years  ago,  not  to  be  made  to  eat 
salmon  more  than  three  days  a  week ;  and  fresh-run 
fish  shall  be  as  plentiful  under  Salisbury  spire  as  they 
are  in  Holly-hole  at  Christchurch ;  in  the  good  time 
coming,  when  folks  shall  see  that,  of  all  Heaven's  gifts 
of  food,  the  one  to  be  protected  most  carefully  is  that 
worthy  gentleman  salmon,  who  is  generous  enough  to 
go  down  to  the  sea  weighing  five  ounces,  and  to  come 
back  next  year  weighing  five  pounds,  without  having 
cost  the  soil  or  the  state  one  farthing  ? 

Or  was  it  like  a  Scotch  stream,  such  as  Arthur 
Clough  drew  in  his  "  Bothie  " : — 

"  Where  over  a  ledge  of  granite 
Into  a  granite  bason  the  amber  torrent  descended.  .... 
Beautiful  there  for  the  colour  derived  from  green  rocks 

under  ; 
Beautiful  most  of  all,  where  beads  of  foam  uprising 
Mingle  their  clouds  of  white  with  the  delicate  hue  of  the 

stillness.   .  .   . 
Cliff"  over  cliff  for  its  sides,  with  rowan  and  pendant  birch 

boughs."   .  .   . 

Ah,  my  little  man,  when  you  are  a  big  man,  and 
fish  such  a  stream  as  that,  you  will  hardly  care,  I 
think,  whether  she  be  roaring  down  in  full  spate,  like 
coffee  covered  with  scald  cream,  while  the  fish  are 
swirling  at   your  fly  as  an   oar-blade  swirls  in  a  boat- 


118 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


race,  or  flashing  up  the  cataract  like  silver  arrows,  out 
of  the  fiercest  of  the  foam ;  or  whether  the  fall  be 
dwindled  to  a  single  thread,  and  the  shingle  below  be 
as  white  and  dusty  as  a  turnpike  road,  while  the 
salmon  huddle  together  in  one  dark  cloud  in  the  clear 
amber  pool,  sleeping  away  their  time  till  the  rain 
creeps  back  again  off  the  sea.     You  will  not  care  much, 


*0fc 


if  you  have  eyes  and  brains  ;  for  you  will  lay  down 
your  rod  contentedly,  and  drink  in  at  your  eyes  the 
beauty  of  that  glorious  place ;  and  listen  to  the  water- 
ouzel  piping  on  the  stones,  and  watch  the  yellow  roes 
come  down  to  drink  and  look  up  at  you  with  their 
great  soft  trustful  eyes,  as  much  as  to  say,  "  You  could 
not  have  the  heart  to  shoot  at  us  ?"  And  then,  if 
you  have  sense,  you  will   turn  and  talk  to  the  great 


in  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  U. 

giant  of  a  gilly  who  lies  basking  on  the  stone  beside 
you.  He  will  tell  you  no  fibs,  my  little  man ;  for  he 
is  a  Scotchman,  and  fears  God,  and  not  the  priest; 
and,  as  you  talk  with  him,  you  will  be  surprised  more 
and  more  at  his  knowledge,  his  sense,  his  humour,  his 
courtesy ;  and  you  will  find  out — unless  you  have 
found  it  out  before — that  a  man  may  learn  from  his 
Bible  to  be  a  more  thorough  gentleman  than  if  he  had 
been  brought  up  in  all  the  drawing-rooms  in  London. 

No.  It  was  none  of  these,  the  salmon  stream  at 
Harthover.  It  was  such  a  stream  as  you  see  in  dear 
old  Bewick;  Bewick,  who  was  born  and  bred  upon 
them.  A  full  hundred  yards  broad  it  was,  sliding  on 
from  broad  pool  to  broad  shallow,  and  broad  shallow 
to  broad  pool,  over  great  fields  of  shingle,  under  oak 
and  ash  coverts,  past  low  cliffs  of  sandstone,  past  green 
meadows,  and  fair  parks,  and  a  great  house  of  gray 
stone,  and  brown  moors  above,  and  here  and  there 
against  the  sky  the  smoking  chimney  of  a  colliery. 
You  must  look  at  Bewick  to  see  just  what  it  was  like, 
for  he  has  drawn  it  a  hundred  times  with  the  care  and 
the  love  of  a  true  north  countryman ;  and,  even  if  you 
do  not  care  about  the  salmon  river,  you  ought,  like  all 
good  boys,  to  know  your  Bewick. 

At  least,  so  old  Sir  John  used  to  say,  and  very 
sensibly  he  put  it  too,  as  he  was  wont  to  do  : 

"  If  they  want  to  describe  a  finished  young  gentle- 
man in  France,  I  hear,  they  say  of  him,  'II  sait  son 
Balelais.'     But  if  I  want  to  describe  one  in  England, 


.20  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap,  hi 

I  say,  '  He  knous  his  Bewick!  And  I  think  that  is 
the  higher  compliment." 

But  Tom  thought  nothing  about  what  the  river 
was  like.  All  his  fancy  was,  to  get  down  to  the  wide 
wide  sea. 

And  after  a  while  he  came  to  a  place  where  the 
river  spread  out  into  broad  still  shallow  reaches,  so 
wide  that  little  Tom,  as  he  put  his  head  out  of  the 
water,  could  hardly  see  across. 

And  there  he  stopped.  He  got  a  little  frightened. 
"  This  must  be  the  sea,"  he  thought.  "  What  a  wide 
place  it  is  !  If  I  go  on  into  it  I  shall  surely  lose  my 
way,  or  some  strange  thing  will  bite  me.  I  will  stop 
here  and  look  out  for  the  otter,  or  the  eels,  or  some 
one  to  tell  me  where  I  shall  go." 

So  he  went  back  a  little  way,  and  crept  into  a 
crack  of  the  rock,  just  where  the  river  opened  out  into 
the  wide  shallows,  and  watched  for  some  one  to  tell 
him  his  way :  but  the  otter  and  the  eels  were  gone  on 
miles  and  miles  down  the  stream. 

There  he  waited,  and  slept  too,  for  he  was  quite 
tired  with  his  night's  journey  ;  and,  when  he  woke,  the 
stream  was  clearing  to  a  beautiful  amber  hue,  though 
it  was  still  very  high.  And  after  a  while  he  saw  a 
sight  which  made  him  jump  up ;  for  he  knew  in  a 
moment  it  was  one  of  the  things  which  he  had  come 
to  look  for. 

Such  a  fish  !  ten  times  as  bic;  as  the  bio-aest  trout, 
and  a  hundred  times   as  big  as   Tom,  sculling  up  the 


122  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap 

stream  past  him,  as  easily  as  Tom  had  sculled 
down. 

Such  a  fish !  shining  silver  from  head  to  tail,  and 
here  and  there  a  crimson  dot ;  with  a  grand  hooked 
nose  and  grand  curling  lip,  and  a  grand  bright  eye, 
looking  round  him  as  proudly  as  a  king,  and  sur- 
veying the  water  right  and  left  as  if  all  belonged  to 
him.  Surely  he  must  b^e  the  salmon,  the  king  of  all 
the  fish. 

Tom  was  so  frightened  that  he  longed  to  creep  into 
a  hole ;  but  he  need  not  have  been ;  for  salmon  are  all 
true  gentlemen,  and,  like  true  gentlemen,  they  look 
noble  and  proud  enough,  and  yet,  like  true  gentlemen, 
they  never  harm  or  quarrel  with  any  one,  but  go 
about  their  own  business,  and  leave  rude  fellows  to 
themselves. 

The  salmon  looked  at  him  full  in  the  face,  and  then 
went  on  without  minding  him,  with  a  swish  or  two  of 
his  tail  which  made  the  stream  boil  again.  And  in  a 
few  minutes  came  another,  and  then  four  or  five,  and 
so  on ;  and  all  passed  Tom,  rushing  and  plunging  up 
the  cataract  with  strong  strokes  of  their  silver  tails, 
now  and  then  leaping  clean  out  of  water  and  up  over 
a  rock,  shining  gloriously  for  a  moment  in  the  bright 
sun  ;  while  Tom  was  so  delighted  that  he  could  have 
watched  them  all  day  long. 

And  at  last  one  came  up  bigger  than  all  the  rest; 
but  he  came  slowly,  and  stopped,  and  looked  back,  and 
seemed  very  anxious  and  busy.     And  Tom  saw  that 


Hi  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  123 

he  was  helping  another  salmon,  an  especially  handsome 
one,  who  had  not  a  single  spot  upon  it,  but  was 
clothed  in  pure  silver  from  nose  to  tail. 

"  My  dear,"  said  the  great  fish  to  his  companion, 
"  you  really  look  dreadfully  tired,  and  you  must  not 
over-exert  yourself  at  first.  Do  rest  yourself  behind 
this  rock  ;  "  and  he  shoved  her  gently  with  his  nose,  to 
the  rock  where  Tom  sat. 

You  must  know  that  this  was  the  salmon's  wife. 
For  salmon,  like  other  true  gentlemen,  always  choose 
their  lady,  and  love  her,  and  are  true  to  her,  and  take 
care  of  her  and  work  for  her,  and  fight  for  her,  as  every 
true  gentleman  ought ;  and  are  not  like  vulgar  chub 
and  roach  and  pike,  who  have  no  high  feelings,  and 
take  no  care  of  their  wives. 

Then  he  saw  Tom,  and  looked  at  him  very  fiercely 
one  moment,  as  if  he  was  going  to  bite  him. 

"  What  do  you  want  here  ?  "  he  said,  very  fiercely. 

"  Oh,  don't  hurt  me  !  "  cried  Tom.  "  I  only  want 
to  look  at  you ;  you  are  so  handsome." 

"  Ah  ? "  said  the  salmon,  very  stately  but  very 
civilly.  "  I  really  beg  your  pardon ;  I  see  what  you 
are,  my  little  dear.  I  have  met  one  or  two  creatures 
like  you  before,  and  found  them  very  agreeable  and 
well-behaved.  Indeed,  one  of  them  showed  me  a  great 
kindness  lately,  which  I  hope  to  be  able  to  repay.  I 
hope  we  shall  not  be  in  your  way  here.  As  soon  as 
this  lady  is  rested,  we  shall  proceed  on  our  journey." 

What  a  well-bred  old  salmon  he  was  ! 


124  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

"  So  you  have  seen  things  like  me  before  ?  "  asked 
Tom. 

"  Several  times,  my  dear.  Indeed,  it  was  only  last 
night  that  one  at  the  river's  mouth  came  and  warned 
me  and  my  wife  of  some  new  stake-nets  which  had 
got  into  the  stream,  I  cannot  tell  how,  since  last  winter, 
and  showed  us  the  way  round  them,  in  the  most 
charmingly  obliging  way." 

"  So  there  are  babies  in  the  sea  ? "  cried  Tom,  and 
clapped  his  little  hands.  "  Then  I  shalL  have  some 
one  to  play  with  there  ?     How  delightful ! " 

"  Were  there  no  babies  up  this  stream  ? "  asked  the 
lady  salmon. 

"  No !  and  I  grew  so  lonely.  I  thought  I  saw 
three  last  night ;  but  they  were  gone  in  an  instant, 
down  to  the  sea.  So  I  went  too ;  for  I  had  nothing 
to  play  with  but  caddises  and  dragon-flies  and  trout." 

"  Ugh  !  "   cried  the  lady,  "  what  low  company  ! " 

"  My  dear,  if  he  has  been  in  low  company,  he  has 
certainly  not  learnt  their  low  manners,"  said  the  salmon. 

"  No,  indeed,  poor  little  dear :  but  how  sad  for 
him  to  live  among  such  people  as  caddises,  who  have 
actually  six  legs,  the  nasty  things ;  and  dragon-flies, 
too  !  why  they  are  not  even  good  to  eat ;  for  -f  tried 
them  once,  and  they  are  all  hard  and  empty ;  and,  as 
for  trout,  every  one  knows  what  they  are."  Whereon 
she  curled  up  her  lip,  and  looked  dreadfully  scornful, 
while  her  husband  curled  up  his  too,  till  he  looked  as 
proud  as  Alcibiades. 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


125 


"  Why  do  you  dislike  the  trout  so  ?  "  asked  Tom. 

"  My  dear,  we  do  not  even  mention  them,  if  we 
can  help  it ;  for  I  am  sorry  to  say  they  are  relations 
of  ours  who  do  us  no  credit.  A  great  many  years  ago 
they  were  just  like  us :  but  they  were  so  lazy,  and 
cowardly,  and  greedy,  that  instead  of  going  down  to 
the  sea  every  year  to  see  the  world  and  grow  strong 
and  fat,  they  chose  to  stay  and  poke  about  in  the  little 
streams  and  eat  worms  and  grubs  ;  and  they  are  very 


properly  punished  for  it ;  for  they  have  grown  ugly 
and  brown  and  spotted  and  small;  and  are  actually  so 
degraded  in  their  tastes,  that  they  will  eat  our  children." 

"  And  then  they  pretend  to  scrape  acquaintance 
with  us  again,"  said  the  lady.  "  Why,  I  have  actually 
known  one  of  them  propose  to  a  lady  salmon,  the  little 
impudent  little  creature." 

"  I  should  hope,"  said  the  gentleman,  "  that  there  are 
very  few  ladies   of  our  race  who  would   degrade  them- 


126  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap,  hi 

selves  by  listening  to  such  a  creature  for  an  instant. 
If  I  saw  such  a  thing  happen,  I  should  consider  it  my 
duty  to  put  them  both  to  death  upon  the  spot."  So 
the  old  salmon  said,  like  an  old  blue-blooded  hidalgo 
of  Spain ;  and  what  is  more,  he  would  have  done  it 
too.  For  you  must  know,  no  enemies  are  so  bitter 
against  each  other  as  those  who  are  of  the  same  race ; 
and  a  salmon  looks  on  a  trout,  as  some  great  folks  look 
on  some  little  folks,  as  something  just  too  much  like 
himself  to  be  tolerated. 


"  Sweet  is  the  lore  which  Nature  brings  ; 
Our  meddling  intellect 
Mis-shapes  the  beauteous  forms  of  things 
We  murder  to  dissect. 

Enough  of  science  and  of  art : 

Close  up  these  barren  leaves  ; 

Come  forth,  and  bring  with  you  a  heart 

That  watches  and  receives." 

Wordsworth 


CHAPTEE    IV 


the  salmon  went  up, 
after  Tom  had  warned 
them  of  the  wicked 
old  otter;  and  Tom 
went  down,  but 
^_  slowly  and  cau- 
tiously, coasting  along 
the  shore.  He  was 
many  days  about  it,  for  it 
was  many  miles  down  to  the 
sea ;  and  perhaps  he  would 
never  have  found  his  way,  if 
the  fairies  had  not  guided  him,  without  his  seeing 
their  fair  faces,  or  feeling  their  gentle  hands. 

And,  as  he  went,  he  had  a  very  strange  adventure. 
It  was  a  clear  still  September  night,  and  the  moon 
shone  so  brightly  down  through  the  water,  that  he 
could  not   sleep,  though  he  shut  his  eyes  as  tight  as 


chap,  iv         A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  129 

possible.  So  at  last  he  came  up  to  the  top,  and  sat 
upon  a  little  point  of  rock,  and  looked  up  at  the 
broad  yellow  moon,  and  wondered  what  she  was,  and 
thought  that  she  looked  at  him.  And  he  watched 
the  moonlight  on  the  rippling  river,  and  the  black 
heads  of  the  firs,  and  the  silver -frosted  lawns,  and 
listened  to  the  owl's  hoot,  and  the  snipe's  bleat,  and 
the  fox's  bark,  and  the  otter's  laugh  ;  and  smelt  the 
soft  perfume  of  the  birches,  and  the  wafts  of  heather 
honey  off  the  grouse  moor  far  above;  and  felt  very 
happy,  though  he  could  not  well  tell  why.  You,  of 
course,  would  have  been  very  cold  sitting  there  on 
a  September  night,  without  the  least  bit  of  clothes 
on  your  wet  back ;  but  Tom  was  a  water-baby,  and 
therefore  felt  cold  no  more  than  a  fish. 

Suddenly,  he  saw  a  beautiful  sight.  A  bright  red 
light  moved  along  the  river-side,  and  threw  down  into 
the  water  a  long  tap-root  of  flame.  Tom,  curious 
little  rogue  that  he  was,  must  needs  go  and  see  what 
it  was ;  so  he  swam  to  the  shore,  and  met  the  light  as 
it  stopped  over  a  shallow  run  at  the  edge  of  a  low 
rock. 

And  there,  underneath  the  light,  lay  five  or  six 
great  salmon,  looking  up  at  the  flame  with  their 
great  goggle  eyes,  and  wagging  their  tails,  as  if  they 
were  very  much  pleased  at  it. 

Tom  came  to  the  top,  to  look  at  this  wonderful 
light  nearer,  and  made  a  splash. 

And  he  heard  a  voice  say  : 
K 


130  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

"  There  was  a  fish  rose." 

He  did  not  know  what  the  words  meant :  but  he 
seemed  to  know  the  sound  of  them,  and  to  know  the 
voice  which  spoke  them ;  and  he  saw  on  the  bank 
three  great  two-legged  creatures,  one  of  whom  held 
the  light,  flaring  and  sputtering,  and  another  a  long 
pole.  And  he  knew  that  they  were  men,  and  was 
frightened,  and  crept  into  a  hole  in  the  rock,  from 
which  he  could  see  what  went  on. 

The  man  with  the  torch  bent  down  over  the  water, 
and  looked  earnestly  in ;  and  then  he  said  : 

"  Tak'  that  muckle  fellow,  lad ;  he's  ower  fifteen 
punds  ;  and  haud  your  hand  steady." 

Tom  felt  that  there  was  some  danger  coming,  and 
longed  to  warn  the  foolish  salmon,  who  kept  staring 
up  at  the  light  as  if  he  was  bewitched.  But  before 
he  could  make  up  his  mind,  down  came  the  pole 
through  the  water;  there  was  a  fearful  splash  and 
struggle,  and  Tom  saw  that  the  poor  salmon  was 
speared  right  through,  and  was  lifted  out  of  the  water. 

And  then,  from  behind,  there  sprang  on  these 
three  men  three  other  men ;  and  there  were  shouts, 
and  blows,  and  words  which  Tom  recollected  to  have 
heard  before ;  and  he  shuddered  and  turned  sick  at 
them  now,  for  he  felt  somehow  that  they  were  strange, 
and  ugly,  and  wrong,  and  horrible.  And  it  all  began 
to  come  back  to  him.  They  were  men ;  and  they 
were  fighting ;  savage,  desperate,  up-and-down  fighting, 
such  as  Tom  had  seen  too  many  times  before. 


iv  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  131 

And  he  stopped  his  little  ears,  and  longed  to 
swim  away ;  and  was  very  glad  that  he  was  a  water- 
baby,  and  had  nothing  to  do  any  more  with  horrid 
dirty  men,  with  foul  clothes  on  their  backs,  and  foul 
words  on  their  lips ;  but  he  dared  not  stir  out  of  his 
hole :  while  the  rock  shook  over  his  head  with  the 
trampling  and  struggling  of  the  keepers  and  the 
poachers. 

All  of  a  sudden  there  was  a  tremendous  splash,  and 
a  frightful  flash,  and  a  hissing,  and  all  was  still. 

For  into  the  water,  close  to  Tom,  fell  one  of  the 
men ;  he  who  held  the  light  in  his  hand.  Into  the 
swift  river  he  sank,  and  rolled  over  and  over  in  the 
current.  Tom  heard  the  men  above  run  along, 
seemingly  looking  for  him ;  but  he  drifted  down  into 
the  deep  hole  below,  and  there  lay  quite  still,  and 
they  could  not  find  him. 

Tom  waited  a  long  time,  till  all  was  quiet ;  and 
then  he  peeped  out,  and  saw  the  man  lying.  At  last 
he  screwed  up  his  courage  and  swam  down  to  him. 
"  Perhaps,"  he  thought,  "  the  water  has  made  him  fall 
asleep,  as  it  did  me." 

Then  he  went  nearer.  He  grew  more  and  more 
curious,  he  could  not  tell  why.  He  must  go  and  look 
at  him.  He  would  go  very  quietly,  of  course ;  so  he 
swam  round  and  round  him,  closer  and  closer ;  and, 
as  he  did  not  stir,  at  last  he  came  quite  close  and 
looked  him  in  the  face. 

The   moon  shone    so    bright   that   Tom    could   see 


132  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

every  feature;   and,  as  he  saw,  he  recollected,  bit  by 
bit,  it  was  his  old  master,  Grimes. 

Tom  turned  tail,  and  swam  away  as  fast  as  he 
could. 

"  Oh  dear  me !"  he  thought,  "  now  he  will  turn 
into  a  water-baby.  What  a  nasty  troublesome  one 
he  will  be !  And  perhaps  he  will  find  me  out,  and 
beat  me  again." 

So  he  went  up  the  river  again  a  little  way,  and 
lay  there  the  rest  of  the  night  under  an  alder  root ; 
but,  when  morning  came,  he  longed  to  go  down  again 
to   the   big  pool,  and   see   whether   Mr.    Grimes   had , 
turned  into  a  water-baby  yet. 

So  he  went  very  carefully,  peeping  round  all  the 
rocks,  and  hiding  under  all  the  roots.  Mr.  Grimes 
lay  there  still;  he  had  not  turned  into  a  water-baby. 
In  the  afternoon  Tom  went  back  again.  He  could 
not  rest  till  he  had  found  out  what  had  become  of 
Mr.  Grimes.  But  this  time  Mr.  Grimes  was  gone ; 
and  Tom  made  up  his  mind  that  he  was  turned  into 
a  water-baby. 

He  might  have  made  himself  easy,  poor  little  man  ; 
Mr.  Grimes  did  not  turn  into  a  water-baby,  or  any- 
thing like  one  at  all.  But  he  did  not  make  himself 
easy ;  and  a  long  time  he  was  fearful  lest  he  should 
meet  Grimes  suddenly  in  some  deep  pool.  He  could 
not  know  that  the  fairies  had  carried  him  away,  and 
put  him,  where  they  put  everything  which  falls  into 
the  water,  exactly  where  it  ought  to  be.      But,  do  you 


iv  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  133 

know,  what  had  happened  to  Mr.  Grimes  had  such  an 
effect  on  him  that  he  never  poached  salmon  any  more. 
And  it  is  quite  certain  that,  when  a  man  becomes  a 
confirmed  poacher,  the  only  way  to  cure  him  is  to  put 
him  under  water  for  twenty-four  hours,  like  Grimes. 
So  when  you  grow  to  be  a  big  man,  do  you  behave  as 
all  honest  fellows  should ;  and  never  touch  a  fish  or  a 
head  of  game  which  belongs  to  another  man  without 
his  express  leave ;  and  then  people  will  call  you  a 
gentleman,  and  treat  you  like  one ;  and  perhaps  give 
you  good  sport :  instead  of  hitting  you  into  the  river, 
or  calling  you  a  poaching  snob. 

Then  Tom  went  on  down,  for  he  was  afraid  of 
staying  near  Grimes :  and  as  he  went,  all  the  vale 
looked  sad.  The  red  and  yellow  leaves  showered 
down  into  the  river;  the  flies  and  beetles  were  all 
dead  and  gone ;  the  chill  autumn  fog  lay  low  upon 
the  hills,  and  sometimes  spread  itself  so  thickly  on  the 
river  that  he  could  not  see  his  way.  But  he  felt  his 
way  instead,  following  the  flow  of  the  stream,  day  after 
day,  past  great  bridges,  past  boats  and  barges,  past 
the  great  town,  with  its  wharfs,  and  mills,  and  tall 
smoking  chimneys,  and  ships  which  rode  at  anchor  in 
the  stream ;  and  now  and  then  he  ran  against  their 
hawsers,  and  wondered  what  they  were,  and  peeped 
out,  and  saw  the  sailors  lounging  on  board  smoking 
their  pipes ;  and  ducked  under  agaiu,  for  he  was 
terribly  afraid  of  being  caught  by  man  and  turned  into 
a  chimney-sweep  once  more.      He  did  not  know  that 


134  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

the  fairies  were  close  to  him  always,  shutting  the 
sailors'  eyes  lest  they  should  see  him,  and  turning 
him  aside  from  millraces,  and  sewer-mouths,  and  all 
foul  and  dangerous  things.  Poor  little  fellow,  it  was  a 
dreary  journey  for  him ;  and  more  than  once  he  longed 
to  be  back  in  Vendale,  playing  with  the  trout  in  the 
bright  summer  sun.  But  it  could  not  be.  What  has 
been  once  can  never  come  over  again.  And  people 
can  be  little  babies,  even  water-babies,  only  once  in 
their  lives. 

Besides,  people  who  make  up  their  minds  to  go 
and  see  the  world,  as  Tom  did,  must  needs  find  it  a 
weary  journey.  Lucky  for  them  if  they  do  not  lose 
heart  and  stop  half-way,  instead  of  going  #on  bravely 
to  the  end  as  Tom  did.  For  then  they  will  remain 
neither  boys  nor  men,  neither  fish,  flesh,  nor  good  red- 
herring  :  having  learnt  a  great  deal  too  much,  and  yet 
not  enough ;  and  sown  their  wild  oats,  without  having 
the  advantage  of  reaping  them. 

But  Tom  was  always  a  brave,  determined,  little 
English  bull -dog,  who  never  knew  when  he  was 
beaten ;  and  on  and  on  he  held,  till  he  saw  a  long  way 
off  the  red  buoy  through  the  fog.  And  then  he  found 
to  his  surprise,  the  stream  turned  round,  and  running 
up  inland. 

It  was  the  tide,  of  course  :  but  Tom  knew  nothing 
of  the  tide.  He  only  knew  that  in  a  minute  more  the 
water,  which  had  been  fresh,  turned  salt  all  round 
him.     And  then  there  came  a  change  over  him.      He 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


135 


felt  as  stro-Dg,  and  light,  and  fresh,  as  if  his  veins  had 
run  champagne ;  and  gave,  he  did  not  know  why, 
three  skips  out  of  the  water,  a  yard  high,  and  head 
over  heels,  just  as  the  salmon  do  when  they  first  touch 
the  noble  rich  salt  water,  which,  as  some  wise  men  tell 
us,  is  the  mother  of  all  living  things. 

He  did  not  care  now   for  the  tide   being  against 


him.  The  red  buoy  was  in  sight,  dancing  in  the  open 
sea ;  and  to  the  buoy  he  would  go,  and  to  it  he  went. 
He  passed  great  shoals  of  bass  and  mullet,  leaping  and 
rushing  in  after  the  shrimps,  but  he  never  heeded 
them,  or  they  him ;  and  once  he  passed  a  great  black 
shining  seal,  who  was  coming  in  after  the  mullet. 
The  seal  put  his  head  and  shoulders  out  of  water,  and 
stared  at  him,  looking  exactly  like  a  fat  old  greasy 
negro  with  a  gray  pate.      And  Tom,  instead  of  being 


136 


THE  WATER  BABIES 


frightened,  said,  "  How  d'ye  do,  sir ;  what  a  beautiful 
place  the  sea  is  ! "  And  the  old  seal,  instead  of  trying 
to  bite  him,  looked  at  him  with  his  soft  sleepy  winking 
eyes,  and  said,  "  Good  tide  to  you,  my  little  man ;  are 
you  looking  for  your  brothers  and  sisters?  I  passed 
them  all  at  play  outside." 

"  Oh,  then,"  said  Tom,  "  I  shall  have  playfellows 
at  last,"  and  he  swam  on  to  the  buoy,  and  got  upon  it 
(for  he  was  quite   out   of   breath)   and  sat   there,  and 

looked  round  for 
water  -  babies  :  but 
there  were  none  to 
be  seen. 

The  sea-breeze 
came  in  freshly  with 
the  tide  and  blew 
the  fog  away  ;  and 
the  little  waves 
danced  for  joy 
around  the  buoy,  and  the  old  buoy  danced  with 
them.  The  shadows  of  the  clouds  ran  races  over  the 
bright  blue  bay,  and  yet  never  caught  each  other  up ; 
and  the  breakers  plunged  merrily  upon  the  wide  white 
sands,  and  jumped  up  over  the  rocks,  to  see  what  the 
green  fields  inside  were  like,  and  tumbled  down  and 
broke  themselves  all  to  pieces,  and  never  minded  it  a 
bit,  but  mended  themselves  and  jumped  up  again. 
And  the  terns  hovered  over  Tom  like  huge  white 
dragon-flies  with  black  heads,  and  the  gulls  laughed 


IV  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  137 

like  girls  at  play,  and  the  sea-pies,  with  their  red  bills 
and  legs,  flew  to  and  fro  from  shore  to  shore,  and 
whistled  sweet  and  wild.  And  Tom  looked  and 
looked,  and  listened  ;  and  he  would  have  been  very 
happy,  if  he  could  only  have  seen  the  water-babies. 
Then  when  the  tide  turned,  he  left  the  buoy,  and 
swam  round  and  round  in  search  of  them:  but  in 
vain.  Sometimes  he  thought  he  heard  them  laughing  : 
but  it  was  only  the  laughter  of  the  ripples.  And 
sometimes  he  thought  he  saw  them  at  the  bottom  : 
but  it  was  only  white  and  pink  shells.  And  once  he 
was  sure  he  had  found  one,  for  he  saw  two  bright 
eyes  peeping  out  of  the  sand.  So  he  dived  down,  and 
began  scraping  the  sand  away,  and  cried,  "  Don't  hide ; 
I  do  want  some  one  to  play  with  so  much!"  And 
out  jumped  a  great  turbot  with  his  ugly  eyes  and 
mouth  all  awry,  and  flopped  away  along  the  bottom, 
knocking  poor  Tom  over.  And  he  sat  down  at  the 
bottom  of  the  sea,  and  cried  salt  tears  from  sheer 
disappointment. 

To  have  come  all  this  way,  and  faced  so  many 
dangers,  and  yet  to  find  no  water-babies  !  How  hard  ! 
Well,  it  did  seem  hard:  but  people,  even  little  babies, 
cannot  have  all  they  want  without  waiting  for  it,  and 
working  for  it  too,  my  little  man,  as  you  will  find  out 
some  day. 

And  Tom  sat  upon  the  buoy  long  days,  long  weeks, 
looking  out  to  sea,  and  wondering  when  the  water- 
babies  would  come  back  ;  and  yet  they  never  came. 


chap,  iv         A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  139 

Then  he  began  to  ask  all  the  strange  things  which 
came  in  out  of  the  sea  if  they  had  seen  any ;  and 
some  said  "  Yes,"  and  some  said  nothing  at  all. 

He  asked  the  bass  and  the  pollock ;  but  they  were 
so  greedy  after  the  shrimps  that  they  did  not  care  to 
answer  him  a  word. 

Then  there  came  in  a  whole  fleet  of  purple  sea- 
snails,  floating  along,  each  on  a  sponge  full  of  foam, 
and  Tom  said,  "  Where  do  you  come  from,  you  pretty 
creatures  ?  and  have  you  seen  the  water-babies  ?" 

And  the  sea-snails  answered,  "  Whence  we  come 
we  know  not ;  and  whither  we  are  going,  who  can 
tell  ?  We  float  out  our  life  in  the  mid-ocean,  with 
the  warm  sunshine  above  our  heads,  and  the  warm 
gulf-stream  below ;  and  that  is  enough  for  us.  Yes ; 
perhaps  we  have  seen  the  water- babies.  We  have 
seen  many  strange  things  as  we  sailed  along."  And 
they  floated  away,  the  happy  stupid  things,  and  all 
went  ashore  upon  the  sands. 

Then  there  came  in  a  great  lazy  sunfish,  as  big  as 
a  fat  pig  cut  in  half ;  and  he  seemed  to  have  been  cut 
in  half  too,  and  squeezed  in  a  clothes-press  till  he  was 
flat ;  but  to  all  his  big  body  and  big  fins  he  had  only 
a  little  rabbit's  mouth,  no  bigger  than  Tom's ;  and, 
when  Tom  questioned  him,  he  answered  in  a  little 
squeaky  feeble  voice : 

"  I'm  sure  I  don't  know ;  I've  lost  my  way.  I 
meant  to  go  to  the  Chesapeake,  and  I'm  afraid  I've 
got  wrong  somehow.     Dear  me  !  it  was  all  by  following 


140 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


that    pleasant  warm  water.      I'm    sure    I've   lost   my 
way." 

And,  when  Tom  asked  him  again,  he  could  only 

answer, "  I've  lost 
my  way.  Don't 
talk  to  me ;  I 
want  to  think." 

But,  like  a 
good  many  other 
people,  the  more 
he  tried  to  think 
the  less  he  could 
think  ;  and  Tom  saw  him  blundering  about  all  day,  till 
the  coast-guardsmen  saw  his  big  fin  above  the  water, 
and  rowed  out,  and  struck  a  boat-hook  into  him,  and 
took  him  away.  They  took  him  up  to  the  town  and 
showed  him  for  a  penny  a  head,  and  made  a  good  day's 
work  of  it.      But  of  course  Tom  did  not  know  that. 

Then  there  came  by  a  shoal  of  porpoises,  rolling  as 
they  went — papas,  and  mammas,  and  little  children — 
and  all  quite  smooth  and  shiny,  because  the  fairies 
French-polish  them  every  morning ;  and  they  sighed 
so  softly  as  they  came  by,  that  Tom  took  courage  to 
speak  to  them :  but  all  they  answered  was,  "  Hush, 
hush,  hush ;"  for  that  was  all  they  had  learnt  to  say. 

And  then  there  came  a  shoal  of  basking  sharks, 
some  of  them  as  long  as  a  boat,  and  Tom  was 
frightened  at  them.  But  they  were  very  lazy  good- 
natured  fellows,  not  greedy  tyrants,  like  white  sharks 


iv  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  141 

and  blue  sharks  and  ground  sharks  and  hammer-heads, 
who  eat  men,  or  saw-fish  and  threshers  and  ice-sharks, 
who  hunt  the  poor  old  whales.  They  came  and 
rubbed  their  great  sides  against  the  buoy,  and  lay 
basking  in  the  sun  with  their  backfins  out  of  water; 
and  winked  at  Tom :  but  he  never  could  get  them  to 
speak.  They  had  eaten  so  many  herrings  that  they 
were  quite  stupid ;  and  Tom  was  glad  when  a  collier 
brig  came  by  and  frightened  them  all  away;  for  they 
did  smell  most  horribly,  certainly,  and  he  had  to  hold 
his  nose  tight  as  long  as  they  were  there. 

And  then  there  came  by  a  beautiful  creature,  like 
a  ribbon  of  pure  silver  with  a  sharp  head  and  very 
^ong  teeth ;  but  it  seemed  very  sick  and  sad.  Some- 
times it  rolled  helpless  on  its  side ;  and  then  it  dashed 
away  glittering  like  white  fire ;  and  then  it  lay  sick 
again  and  motionless. 

"Where  do  you  come  from?"  asked  Tom.  "And 
why  are  you  so  sick  and  sad  ? " 

"  I  come  from  the  warm  Carolinas,  and  the 
sandbanks  fringed  with  pines ;  where  the  great  owl- 
rays  leap  and  flap,  like  giant  bats,  upon  the  tide. 
But  I  wandered  north  and  north,  upon  the  treacherous 
warm  gulf-stream,  till  I  met  with  the  cold  icebergs, 
afloat  in  the  mid  ocean.  So  I  got  tangled  among  the 
icebergs,  and  chilled  with  their  frozen  breath.  But 
the  water-babies  helped  me  from  among  them,  and  set 
me  free  again.  And  now  I  am  mending  every  day ; 
but  I   am  very  sick    and    sad ;    and   perhaps   I   shall 


142  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap,  iv 

never  get  home  again  to  play  with  the  owl-rays  any 
more." 

"  Oh  !"  cried  Tom.  "  And  you  have  seen  water- 
babies  ?      Have  you  seen  any  near  here  ?" 

"  Yes  ;  they  helped  me  again  last  night,  or  I  should 
have  been  eaten  by  a  great  black  porpoise." 

How  vexatious  !  The  water-babies  close  to  him, 
and  yet  he  could  not  find  one. 

And  then  he  left  the  buoy,  and  used  to  go  along 
the  sands  and  round  the  rocks,  and  come  out  in  the 
night — like  the  forsaken  Merman  in  Mr.  Arnold's 
beautiful,  beautiful  poem,  which  you  must  learn  by 
heart  some  day — and  sit  upon  a  point  of  rock,  among 
the  shining  sea-weeds,  in  the  low  October  tides,  and 
cry  and  call  for  the  water-babies ;  but  he  never  heard 
a  voice  call  in  return.  And  at  last,  with  his  fretting 
and  crying,  he  grew  quite  lean  and  thin. 

But  one  day  among  the  rocks  he  found  a  play- 
fellow. It  was  not  a  water-baby,  alas  !  but  it  was  a 
lobster ;  and  a  very  distinguished  lobster  he  was ;  for 
he  had  live  barnacles  on  his  claws,  which  is  a  great 
mark  of  distinction  in  lobsterdom,  and  no  more  to 
be  bought  for  money  than  a  good  conscience  or  the 
Victoria  Cross. 

Tom  had  never  seen  a  lobster  before ;  and  he  was 
mightily  taken  with  this  one ;  for  he  thought  him  the 
most  curious,  odd,  ridiculous  creature  he  had  ever 
seen ;  and  there  he  was  not  far  wrong ;  for  all  the 
ingenious   men,   and   all   the   scientific   men,   and   all 


144  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

the  fanciful  men,  in  the  world,  with  all  the  old 
German  bogy-painters  into  the  bargain,  could  never 
invent,  if  all  their  wits  were  boiled  into  one,  anything 
so  curious,  and  so  ridiculous,  as  a  lobster. 

He  had  one  claw  knobbed  and  the  other  jagged ; 
and  Tom  delighted  in  watching  him  hold  on  to  the 
seaweed  with  his  knobbed  claw,  while  he  cut  up 
salads  with  his  jagged  one,  and  then  put  them  into  his 
mouth,  after  smelling  at  them,  like  a  monkey.  And 
always  the  little  barnacles  threw  out  their  casting-nets 
and  swept  the  water,  and  came  in  for  their  share  of 
whatever  there  was  for  dinner. 

But  Tom  was  most  astonished  to  see  how  he  fired 
himself  off — snap  !  like  the  leap-frogs  which  you  make 
cut  of  a  goose's  breast-bone.  Certainly  he  took  the 
most  wonderful  shots,  and  backwards,  too.  For,  if  he 
wanted  to  go  into  a  narrow  crack  ten  yards  off,  what 
do  you  think  he  did  ?  If  he  had  gone  in  head 
foremost,  of  course  he  could  not  have  turned  round. 
So  he  used  to  turn  his  tail  to  it,  and  lay  his  long 
horns,  which  carry  his  sixth  sense  in  their  tips  (and 
nobody  knows  what  that  sixth  sense  is),  straight  down 
his  back  to  guide  him,  and  twist  his  eyes  back  till 
they  almost  came  out  of  their  sockets,  and  then  made 
ready,  present,  fire,  snap ! — and  away  he  went,  pop 
into  the  hole ;  and  peeped  out  and  twiddled  his 
whiskers,  as  much  as  to  say,  "  You  couldn't  do  that." 

Tom  asked  him  about  water -babies.  "Yes,"  he 
said.     He  had  seen  them  often.      But  he  did  not  think 


iv  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  145 

much  of  them.  They  were  meddlesome  little  creatures, 
that  went  about  helping  fish  and  shells  which  got  into 
scrapes.  Well,  for  his  part,  he  should  be  ashamed  to 
be  helped  by  little  soft  creatures  that  had  not  even  a 
shell  on  their  backs.  He  had  lived  quite  long  enough 
in  the  world  to  take  care  of  himself. 

He  was  a  conceited  fellow,  the  old  lobster,  and  not 
very  civil  to  Tom ;  and  you  will  hear  how  he  had  to 
alter  his  mind  before  he  was  done,  as  conceited  people 
generally  have.  But  he  was  so  funny,  and  Tom  so 
lonely,  that  he  could  not  quarrel  with  him ;  and  they 
used  to  sit  in  holes  in  the  rocks,  and  chat  for  hours. 

And  about  this  time  there  happened  to  Tom  a 
very  strange  and  important  adventure — so  important, 
indeed,  that  he  was  very  near  never  finding  the  water- 
babies  at  all ;  and  I  am  sure  you  would  have  been 
sorry  for  that. 

I  hope  that  you  have  not  forgotten  the  little  white 
lady  all  this  while.  At  least,  here  she  comes,  looking 
like  a  clean  white  good  little  darling,  as  she  always 
was,  and  always  will  be.  For  it  befell  in  the  pleasant 
short  December  days,  when  the  wind  always  blows 
from  the  south-west,  till  Old  Father  Christmas  comes 
and  spreads  the  great  white  table-cloth,  ready  for 
little  boys  and  girls  to  give  the  birds  their  Christmas 
dinner  of  crumbs — it  befell  (to  go  on)  in  the  pleasant 
December  days,  that  Sir  John  was  so  busy  hunting 
that  nobody  at  home  could  get  a  word  out  of  him. 
Four  days  a  week  he  hunted,  and  very  good  sport  he 

L 


146  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

had ;  and  the  other  two  he  went  to  the  bench  and  the 
board  of  guardians,  and  very  good  justice  he  did ;  and, 
when  he  got  home  in  time,  he  dined  at  five ;  for  he 
hated  this  absurd  new  fashion  of  dining  at  eight  in  the 
hunting  season,  which  forces  a  man  to  make  interest 
with  the  footman  for  cold  beef  and  beer  as  soon  as  he 
comes  in,  and  so  spoil  his  appetite,  and  then  sleep  in 
an  arm-chair  in  his  bedroom,  all  stiff  and  tired,  for  two 
or  three  hours  before  he  can  get  his  dinner  like  a 
gentleman.  And  do  you  be  like  Sir  John,  my  dear 
little  man,  when  you  are  your  own  master ;  and,  if 
you  want  either  to  read  hard  or  ride  hard,  stick  to  the 
good  old  Cambridge  hours  of  breakfast  at  eight  and 
dinner  at  five ;  by  which  you  may  get  two  days'  work 
out  of  one.  But,  of  course,  if  you  find  a  fox  at  three 
in  the  afternoon  and  run  him  till  dark,  and  leave  off 
twenty  miles  from  home,  why  you  must  wait  for  your 
dinner  till  you  can  get  it,  as  better  men  than  you  have 
done.  Only  see  that,  if  you  go  hungry,  your  horse 
does  not;  but  give  him  his  warm  gruel  and  beer,  and 
take  him  gently  home,  remembering  that  good  horses 
don't  grow  on  the  hedge  like  blackberries. 

It  befell  (to  go  on  a  second  time)  that  Sir  John, 
hunting  all  day,  and  dining  at  five,  fell  asleep  every 
evening,  and  snored  so  terribly  that  all  the  windows 
in  Harthover  shook,  and  the  soot  fell  down  the 
chimneys.  Whereon  My  Lady,  being  no  more  able  to 
get  conversation  out  of  him  than  a  song  out  of  a  dead 
nightingale,  determined  to  go  off  and  leave  him,  and 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


147 


the  doctor,  and  Captain  Swinger  the  agent,  to  snore  in 
concert  every  evening  to  their  hearts'  content.  So 
she  started  for  the  seaside  with  all  the  children,  in 
order  to  put  herself  and  them  into  condition  by  mild 
applications  of  iodine.  She  might  as  well  have  stayed 
at  home  and  used  Parry's  liquid  horse-blister,  for  there 
was  plenty  of  it  in  the  stables ;  and  then  she  would 


have  saved  her  money,  and  saved  the  chance,  also,  of 
making  all  the  children  ill  instead  of  well  (as  hundreds 
are  made),  by  taking  them  to  some  nasty  smelling 
undrained  lodging,  and  then  wondering  how  they 
caught  scarlatina  and  diphtheria :  but  people  won't  be 
wise  enough  to  understand  that  till  they  are  dead  of 
bad  smells,  and  then  it  will  be  too  late ;  besides,  you 
see,  Sir  John  did  certainly  snore  very  loud. 


148  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

But  where  she  went  to  nobody  must  know,  for  fear 
young  ladies  should  begin  to  fancy  that  there  are 
water-babies  there '.  and  so  hunt  and  howk  after  them 
(besides  raising  the  price  of  lodgings),  and  keep  them 
in  aquariums,  as  the  ladies  at  Pompeii  (as  you  may 
see  by  the  paintings)  used  to  keep  Cupids  in  cages. 
But  nobody  ever  heard  that  they  starved  the  Cupids, 
or  let  them  die  of  dirt  and  neglect,  as  English  young 
ladies  do  by  the  poor  sea- beasts.  So  nobody  must 
know  where  My  Lady  went.  Letting  water-babies 
die  is  as  bad  as  taking  singing  birds'  eggs ;  for,  though 
there  are  thousands,  ay,  millions,  of  both  of  them  in 
the  world,  yet  there  is  not  one  too  many. 

Now  it  befell  that,  on  the  very  shore,  and  over  the 
very  rocks,  where  Tom  was  sitting  with  his  friend  the 
lobster,  there  walked  one  day  the  little  white  lady, 
Ellie  herself,  and  with  her  a  very  wise  man  indeed — 
Professor  Ptthmllnsprts. 

His  mother  was  a  Dutchwoman,  and  therefore  he 
was  born  at  Curasao  (of  course  you  have  learnt  your 
geography,  and  therefore  know  why) ;  and  his  father 
a  Pole,  and  therefore  he  was  brought  up  at  Petro- 
paulowski  (of  course  you  have  learnt  your  modern 
politics,  and  therefore  know  why) :  but  for  all  that  he 
was  as  thorough  an  Englishman  as  ever  coveted  his 
neighbour's  goods.  And  his  name,  as  I  said,  was 
Professor  Ptthmllnsprts,  which  is  a  very  ancient  and 
noble  Polish  name. 

He  was.  as  I  said,  a   very   great  naturalist,   and 


IV 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


149 


chief  professor  of  Necrobioneopalceonthydrochthonanthro- 
jpopithekology  in  the  new  university  which  the  king 
of  the  Cannibal  Islands  had  founded ;  and,  being  a 
member  of  the  Acclimatisation  Society,  he  had  come 
here  to   collect   all  the  nasty  things  which  he   could 


find  on  the  coast  of  England,  and  turn  them  loose 
round  the  Cannibal  Islands,  because  they  had  not 
nasty  things  enough  there  to  eat  what  they  left. 

But  he  was  a  very  worthy  kind  good-natured  little 
old  gentleman ;  and  very  fond  of  children  (for  he  was 


150  THE  WATER- BABIES  chap. 

not  the  least  a  cannibal  himself) ;  and  very  good  to 
all  the  world  as  long  as  it  was  good  to  him.  Only 
one  fault  he  had,  which  cock-robins  have  likewise,  as 
you  may  see  if  you  look  out  of  the  nursery  window — ■ 
that,  when  any  one  else  found  a  curious  worm,  he 
would  hop  round  them,  and  peck  them,  and  set  up  his 
tail,  and  bristle  up  his  feathers,  just  as  a  cock-robin 
would ;  and  declare  that  he  found  the  worm  first ;  and 
that  it  was  his  worm ;  and,  if  not,  that  then  it  was 
not  a  worm  at  all. 

He  had  met  Sir  John  at  Scarborough,  or  Fleetwood, 
or  somewhere  or  other  (if  you  don't  care  where, 
nobody  else  does),  and  had  made  acquaintance  with 
him,  and  become  very  fond  of  his  children.  Now, 
Sir  John  knew  nothing  about  sea-cockyolybirds,  and 
cared  less,  provided  the  fishmonger  sent  him  good  fish 
for  dinner ;  and  My  Lady  knew  as  little :  but  she 
thought  it  proper  that  the  children  should  know 
something.  For  in  the  stupid  old  times,  you  must 
understand,  children  were  taught  to  know  one  thing, 
and  to  know  it  well ;  but  in  these  enlightened  new 
times  they  are  taught  to  know  a  little  about  every- 
thing, and  to  know  it  all  ill ;  which  is  a  great  deal 
pleasanter  and  easier,  and  therefore  quite  right. 

So  Ellie  and  he  were  walking  on  the  rocks,  and 
he  was  showing  her  about  one  in  ten  thousand  of  all 
the  beautiful  and  curious  things  which  are  to  be  seen 
there.  But  little  Ellie  was  not  satisfied  with  them  at 
all.     She  liked  much  better  to  play  with  live  children, 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


151 


or  even  with  dolls,  which  she  could  pretend  were 
alive ;  and  at  last  she  said  honestly,  "  I  don't  care 
about  all  these  things,  because  they  can't  play  with 


me,  or  talk  to  me.  If  there  were  little  children  now 
in  the  water,  as  there  used  to  be,  and  I  could  see  them, 
I  should  like  that." 


152  THE  WATER -BABIES  chap. 

"  Children  in  the  water,  you  strange  little  duck  ?" 
said  the  professor. 

"  Yes,"  said  Ellie.  "  I  know  there  used  to  be 
children  in  the  water,  and  mermaids  too,  and  mermen. 
I  saw  them  all  in  a  picture  at  home,  of  a  beautiful 
lady  sailing  in  a  car  drawn  by  dolphins,  and  babies 
flying  round  her,  and  one  sitting  in  her  lap ;  and  the 
mermaids  swimming  and  playing,  and  the  mermen 
trumpeting  on  conch  -  shells ;  and  it  is  called  'The 
Triumph  of  Galatea ;'  and  there  is  a  burning  mountain 
in  the  picture  behind.  It  hangs  on  the  great  staircase, 
and  I  have  looked  at  it  ever  since  I  was  a  baby,  and 
dreamt  about  it  a  hundred  times;  and  it  is  so  beautiful 
that  it  must  be  true. ' 

But  the  professor  had  not  the  least  notion  of 
allowing  that  things  were  true,  merely  because  people 
thought  them  beautiful.  For  at  that  rate,  he  said, 
the  Baltas  would  be  quite  right  in  thinking  it  a  fine 
thing  to  eat  their  grandpapas,  because  they  thought 
it  an  ugly  thing  to  put  them  underground.  The 
professor,  indeed,  went  further,  and  held  that  no  man 
was  forced  to  believe  anything  to  be  true,  but  what  he 
could  see,  hear,  taste,  or  handle. 

He  held  very  strange  theories  about  a  good  many 
things.  He  had  even  got  up  once  at  the  British 
Association,  and  declared  that  apes  had  hippopotamus 
majors  in  their  brains  just  as  men  have.  Which  was 
a  shocking  thing  to  say  ;  for,  if  it  were  so,  what  would 
become   of  the  faith,  hope,   and    charitv.  of  immortal 


IV  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  IS3. 

millions  ?  You  may  think  that  there  are  other  more 
important  differences  between  you  and  an  ape,  such 
as  being  able  to  speak,  and  make  machines,  and  know 
right  from  wrong,  and  say  your  prayers,  and  other 
little  matters  of  that  kind ;  but  that  is  a  child's  fancy, 
my  dear.  Nothing  is  to  be  depended  on  but  the  great 
hippopotamus  test.  If  you  have  a  hippopotamus 
major  in  your  brain,  you  are  no  ape,  though  you  had 
four  hands,  no  feet,  and  were  more  apish  than  the 
apes  of  all  aperies.  But  if  a  hippopotamus  major  is 
ever  discovered  in  one  single  ape's  brain,  nothing  will 
save  your  great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great- 
great  -  great  -  great  -  greater  -  greatest  -  grandmother  from 
having  been  an  ape  too.  No,  my  dear  little  man; 
always  remember  that  the  one  true,  certain,  final,  and 
all -important  difference  between  you  and  an  ape  is, 
that  you  have  a  hippopotamus  major  in  your  brain, 
and  it  has  none ;  and  that,  therefore,  to  discover  one 
in  its  brain  will  be  a  very  wrong  and  dangerous  thing, 
at  which  every  one  will  be  very  much  shocked,  as  we 
may  suppose  they  were  at  the  professor. — Though 
really,  after  all,  it  don't  much  matter;  because — as 
Lord  Dundreary  and  others  would  put  it — nobody  but 
men  have  hippopotamuses  in  their  brains ;  so,  if  a 
hippopotamus  was  discovered  in  an  ape's  brain,  why 
it  would  not  be  one,  you  know,  but  something  else. 

But  the  professor  had  gone,  I  am  sorry  to  say,  even 
further  than  that;  for  he  had  read  at  the  British 
Association  at  Melbourne,  Australia,  in  the  year  1999, 


154  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

a  paper  which  assured  every  one  who  found  himself 
the  better  or  wiser  for  the  news,  that  there  were  not, 
never  had  been,  aud  could  not  be,  any  rational  or 
half -rational  beings  except  men,  anywhere,  any  when, 
or  anyhow ;  that  nymphs,  satyrs,  fauns,  inui,  divarfs, 
trolls,  elves,  gnomes,  fairies,  brownies,  nixes,  wilis,  kobolds, 
leprechaunes,  cluricaunes,  banshees,  will-o'-the-wisps,  follets, 
lutins,  magots,  goblins,  afrits,  marids,  jinns,  ghouls,  peris, 
deem,  angels,  archangels,  imps,  bogies,  or  worse,  were 
nothing  at  all,  and  pure  bosh  and  wind.  And  he  had 
to  get  up  very  early  in  the  morning  to  prove  that, 
and  to  eat  his  breakfast  overnight ;  but  he  did  it,  at 
least  to  his  own  satisfaction.  Whereon  a  certain  great 
divine,  and  a  very  clever  divine  was  he,  called  him  a 
regular  Sadducee ;  and  probably  he  was  quite  right. 
Whereon  the  professor,  in  return,  called  him  a  regular 
Pharisee  ;  and  probably  he  was  quite  right  too.  But 
they  did  not  quarrel  in  the  least ;  for,  when  men  are 
men  of  the  world,  hard. words  run  off  them  like  water 
off  a  duck's  back.  So  the  professor  and  the  divine 
met  at  dinner  that  evening,  and  sat  together  on  the 
sofa  afterwards  for  an  hour,  and  talked  over  the  state 
of  female  labour  on  the  antarctic  continent  (for  nobody 
talks  shop  after  his  claret),  and  each  vowed  that  the 
other  was  the  best  company  he  ever  met  in  his  life. 
What  an  advantage  it  is  to  be  men  of  the  world ! 

From  all  which  you  may  guess  that  the  professor 
was  not  the  least  of  little  Ellie's  opinion.  So  he 
gave  her  a  succinct  compendium  of  his  famous  paper 


IV  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  155 

at  the  British  Association,  in  a  form  suited  for  the 
youthful  mind.  But,  as  we  have  gone  over  his 
arguments  against  water-babies  once  already,  which  is 
once  too  often,  we  will  not  repeat  them  here. 

Now  little  Ellie  was,  I  suppose,  a  stupid  little  girl; 
for,  instead  of  being  convinced  by  Professor  Ptthmlln- 
sprts'  arguments,  she  only  asked  the  same  question 
over  again. 

"But  why  are  there  not  water-babies?" 

I  trust  and  hope  that  it  was  because  the  professor 
trod  at  that  moment  on  the  edge  of  a  very  sharp 
mussel,  and  hurt  one  of  his  corns  sadly,  that  he 
answered  quite  sharply,  forgetting  that  he  was  a 
scientific  man,  and  therefore  ought  to  have  known 
that  he  couldn't  know ;  and  that  he  was  a  logician, 
and  therefore  ought  to  have  known  that  he  could  not 
prove  a  universal  negative — I  say,  I  trust  and  hope 
it  was  because  the  mussel  hurt  his  corn,  that  the 
professor  answered  quite  sharply : 

"  Because  there  ain't." 

Which  was  not  even  good  English,  my  dear  little 
boy;  for,  as  you  must  know  from  Aunt  Agitate's 
Arguments,  the  professor  ought  to  have  said,  if  he  was 
so  angry  as  to  say  anything  of  the  kind — Because 
there  are  not :  or  are  none  :  or  are  none  of  them ;  or 
(if  he  had  been  reading  Aunt  Agitate  too)  because 
they  do  not  exist. 

And  he  groped  with  his  net  under  the  weeds  so 
violently,  that,  as  it  befell,  he  caught  poor  little  Tom. 


156  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

He  felt  the  net  very  heavy;  and  lifted  it  out 
quickly,  with  Tom  all  entangled  in  the  meshes. 

"Dear  me  !"  he  cried.  "What  a  large  pink  Holo- 
thurian ;  with  hands,  too  !  It  must  be  connected  with 
Synapta." 

And  he  took  him  out. 

"  It  has  actually  eyes  I"  he  cried.  "  Why,  it  must 
be  a  Cephalopod  !     This  is  most  extraordinary  !" 

"  No,  I  ain't !"  cried  Tom,  as  loud  as  he  could ;  for 
he  did  not  like  to  be  called  bad  names. 

"It  is  a  water-baby !"  cried  Ellie ;  and  of  course 
it  was. 

"  Water-fiddlesticks,  my  dear !"  said  the  professor ; 
and  he  turned  away  sharply. 

There  was  no  denying  it.  It  was  a  water-baby: 
and  he  had  said  a  moment  ago  that  there  were  none. 
What  was  he  to  do  ? 

He  would  have  liked,  of  course,  to  have  taken 
Tom  home  in  a  bucket.  He  would  not  have  put  him 
in  spirits.  Of  course  not.  He  would  have  kept  him 
alive,  and  petted  him  (for  he  was  a  very  kind  old 
gentleman),  and  written  a  book  about  him,  and  given 
him  two  long  names,  of  which  the  first  would  have 
said  a  little  about  Tom,  and  the  second  all  about 
himself;  for  of  course  he  would  have  called  him 
Hydrotecnon  Ptthmllnsprtsianum,  or  some  other  long 
name  like  that ;  for  they  are  forced  to  call  everything 
by  long  names  now,  because  they  have  used  up  all  the 
short  ones,  ever  since  they  took  to  making  nine  species 


IV  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  157 

out  of  one.  But — what  would  all  the  learned  men 
say  to  him  after  his  speech  at  the  British  Association  ? 
And  what  would  Ellie  say,  after  what  he  had  just  told 
her  ? 

There  was  a  wise  old  heathen  once,  who  said, 
"Maxima  debetur  pueris  reverentia" — The  greatest 
reverence  is  due  to  children;  that  is,  that  grown 
people  should  never  say  or  do  anything  wrong  before 
children,  lest  they  should  set  them  a  bad  example. — 
Cousin  Cramchild  says  it  means,  "  The  greatest  respect- 
fulness is  expected  from  little  boys."  But  he  was  raised 
in  a  country  where  little  boys  are  not  expected  to  be 
respectful,  because  all  of  them  are  as  good  as  the 
President : — Well,  every  one  knows  his  own  concerns 
best;  so  perhaps  they  are.  But  poor  Cousin  Cram- 
child,  to  do  him  justice,  not  being  of  that  opinion,  and 
having  a  moral  mission,  and  being  no  scholar  to  speak 
of,  and  hard  up  for  an  authority — why,  it  was  a  very 
great  temptation  for  him.  But  some  people,  and  I 
am  afraid  the  professor  was  one  of  them,  interpret  that 
in  a  more  strange,  curious,  one-sided,  left-handed, 
topsy-turvy,  inside -out,  behind -before  fashion  than 
even  Cousin  Cramchild ;  for  they  make  it  mean,  that 
you  must  show  your  respect  for  children,  by  never 
confessing  yourself  in  the  wrong  to  them,  even  if  you 
know  that  you  are  so,  lest  they  should  lose  confidence 
in  their  elders. 

Now,  if  the  professor  had  said  to  Ellie,  "  Yes,  my 
darling,  it  is  a  water-baby,  and  a  very  wonderful  thing 


158  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

it  is ;  and  it  shows  how  little  I  know  of  the  wonders 
of  nature,  in  spite  of  forty  years'  honest  labour.  I 
was  just  telling  you  that  there  could  be  no  such 
creatures ;  and,  behold  !  here  is  one  come  to  confound 
my  conceit  and  show  me  that  Nature  can  do,  and  has 
done,  beyond  all  that  man's  poor  fancy  can  imagine. 
So,  let  us  thank  the  Maker,  and  Inspirer,  and  Lord  of 
Nature  for  all  His  wonderful  and  glorious  works,  and 
try  and  find  out  something  about  this  one;" — I  think 
that,  if  the  professor  had  said  that,  little  Ellie  would 
have  believed  him  more  firmly,  and  respected  him 
more  deeply,  and  loved  him  better,  than  ever  she  had 
done  before.  But  he  was  of  a  different  opinion.  He 
hesitated  a  moment.  He  longed  to  keep  Tom,  and 
yet  he  half  wished  he  never  had  caught  him ;  and  at 
last  he  quite  longed  to  get  rid  of  him.  So  he  turned 
away  and  poked  Tom  with  his  finger,  for  want  of 
anything  better  to  do  ;  and  said  carelessly,  "  My  dear 
little  maid,  you  must  have  dreamt  of  water-babies  last 
night,  your  head  is  so  full  of  them." 

Now  Tom  had  been  in  the  most  horrible  and 
unspeakable  fright  all  the  while;  and  had  kept  as 
quiet  as  he  could,  though  he  was  called  a  Holothurian 
and  a  Cephalopod ;  for  it  was  fixed  in  his  little  head 
that  if  a  man  with  clothes  on  caught  him,  he  might 
put  clothes  on  him  too,  and  make  a  dirty  black 
chimney-sweep  of  him  again.  But,  when  the  professor 
poked  him,  it  was  more  than  he  could  bear ;  and, 
between  fright  and  rage,  he  turned  to  bay  as  valiantly 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


159 


as  a  mouse  in  a  corner,  and  bit   the  professor's  finger 
till  it  bled. 

"  Ob  !  ah  !  yah  !"   cried  be ;  and  glad  of  an  excuse 
to  be  rid  of  Tom,  dropped  bim  on  to  the   seaweed,  and 


thence  he  dived    into  the  water   and    was   gone   in   a 
moment. 

"  But  it  was  a  water-baby,  and  I  heard  it   speak !" 
cried   Ellie.      "Ah,   it   is    gone!"      And  she  jumped 


160  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

down  off  the  rock  to  try  and  catch  Tom  before  he 
slipped  into  the  sea. 

Too  late  !  and  what  was  worse,  as  she  sprang  down, 
she  slipped,  and  fell  some  six  feet  with  her  head  on  a 
sharp  rock,  and  lay  quite  still. 

The  professor  picked  her  up,  and  tried  to  waken 
her,  and  called  to  her,  and  cried  over  her,  for  he  loved 
her  very  much :  but  she  would  not  waken  at  all.  So 
he  took  her  up  in  his  arms  and  carried  her  to  her 
governess,  and  they  all  went  home ;  and  little  Ellie 
was  put  to  bed,  and  lay  there  quite  still ;  only  now 
and  then  she  woke  up  and  called  out  about  the  water- 
baby  :  but  no  one  knew  what  she  meant,  and  the 
professor  did  not  tell,  for  he  was  ashamed  to  tell. 

And,  after  a  week,  one  moonlight  night,  the  fairies 
came  flying  in  at  the  window  and  brought  her  such  a 
pretty  pair  of  wings  that  she  could  not  help  putting 
them  on ;  and  she  flew  with  them  out  of  the  window, 
and  over  the  land,  and  over  the  sea,  and  up  through 
the  clouds,  and  nobody  heard  or  saw  anything  of  her 
for  a  very  long  while. 

And  this  is  why  they  say  that  no  one  has  ever  yet 
seen  a  water-baby.  For  my  part,  I  believe  that  the 
naturalists  get  dozens  of  them  when  they  are  out 
dredging ;  but  they  say  nothing  about  them,  and  throw 
them  overboard  again,  for  fear  of  spoiling  their  theories. 
But,  you  see  the  professor  was  found  out,  as  every  one 
is  in  due  time.  A  very  terrible  old  fairy  found  the 
professor  out ;  she  felt  his  bumps,  and  cast  his  nativity, 


iv  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  161 

and  took  the  lunars  of  him  carefully  inside  and  out ; 
and  so  she  knew  what  he  would  do  as  well  as  if  she 
had  seen  it  in  a  print  book,  as  they  say  in  the  dear 
old  west  country ;  and  he  did  it ;  and  so  he  was  found 
out  beforehand,  as  everybody  always  is ;  and  the  old 
fairy  will  find  out  the  naturalists  some  day,  and  put 
them  in  the  Times,  and  then  on  whose  side  will  the 
laugh  be  ? 

So  the  old  fairy  took  him  in  hand  very  severely 
there  and  then.  But  she  says  she  is  always  most 
severe  with  the  best  people,  because  there  is  most 
chance  of  curing  them,  and  therefore  they  are  the 
patients  who  pay  her  best ;  for  she  has  to  work  on 
the  same  salary  as  the  Emperor  of  China's  physicians 
(it  is  a  pity  that  all  do  not),  no  cure,  no  pay. 

So  she  took  the  poor  professor  in  hand :  and 
because  he  was  not  content  with  things  as  they  are, 
she  filled  his  head  with  things  as  they  are  not,  to  try 
if  he  would  like  them  better ;  and  because  he  did  not 
choose  to  believe  in  a  water-baby  when  he  saw  it,  she 
made  him  believe  in  worse  things  than  water-babies — 
in  unicorns,  fire-drakes,  manticoras,  basilisks,  amphis- 
bamas,  griffins,  phoenixes,  rocs,  ores,  dog -headed  men, 
three-headed  dogs,  three-bodied  geryons,  and  other  pleasant 
creatures,  which  folks  think  never  existed  yet,  and 
which  folks  hope  never  will  exist,  though  they  know 
nothing  about  the  matter,  and  never  will ;  and  these 
creatures  so  upset,  terrified,  flustered,  aggravated,  con- 
fused,  astounded,   horrified,  and    totally  flabbergasted 

M 


162  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

the  poor  professor  that  the  doctors  said  that  he  was 
out  of  his  wits  for  three  months ;  and  perhaps  they 
were  right,  as  they  are  now  and  then. 

So  all  the  doctors  in  the  county  were  called  in  to 
make  a  report  on  his  case ;  and  of  course  every  one 
of  them  flatly  contradicted  the  other :  else  what  use 
is  there  in  being  men  of  science  ?  But  at  last  the 
majority  agreed  on  a  report  in  the  true  medical 
language,  one  half  bad  Latin,  the  other  half  worse 
Greek,  and  the  rest  what  might  have  been  English,  if 
they  had  only  learnt  to  write  it.  And'  this  is  the 
beginning  thereof — 

"  The  subanhypaposupernal  anastomoses  of  peritomic 
diacellurite  in  the  encephalo  digital  region  of  the  distin- 
guished individual  of  whose  symptomatic  phenomena  we 
had  the  melancholy  honour  (subsequently  to  a  preliminary 
diagnostic  inspection)  of  making  an  inspectorial  diagnosis, 
presenting  the  inter  exclusively  quadrilateral  and  antino- 
mian  diathesis  known  as  Bumpsterhausen's  blue  follicles, 
we  proceeded  " — 

But  what  they  proceeded  to  do  My  Lady  never 
knew ;  for  she  was  so  frightened  at  the  long  words 
that  she  ran  for  her  life,  and  locked  herself  into  her 
bedroom,  for  fear  of  being  squashed  by  the  words 
and  strangled  by  the  sentence.  A  boa  constrictor,  she 
said,  was  bad  company  enough :  but  what  was  a  boa 
constrictor  made  of  paving  stones  ? 

"  It  was  quite  shocking !  What  can  they  think  is 
the  matter  with  him  ?"  said  she  to  the  old  nurse. 


iv  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  163 

"  That  his  wit's  just  addled ;  may  be  wi'  unbelief 
and  heathenry,"  quoth  she. 

"  Then  why  can't  they  say  so  ?  " 

And  the  heaven,  and  the  sea,  and  the  rocks,  and 
the  vales  re-echoed — "Why  indeed?"  But  the 
doctors  never  heard  them. 

So  she  made  Sir  John  write  to  the  Times  to  com- 
mand the  Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer  for  the  time 
being  to  put  a  tax  on  long  words ; — 

A  light  tax  on  words  over  three  syllables,  which 
are  necessary  evils,  like  rats :  but,  like  them,  must  be 
kept  down  judiciously. 

A  heavy  tax  on  words  over  four  syllables,  as  hetero- 
doxy, spontaneity,  spiritualism,  spuriosity,  etc. 

And  on  words  over  five  syllables  (of  which  I  hope 
no  one  will  wish  to  see  any  examples),  a  totally  pro- 
hibitory tax. 

And  a  similar  prohibitory  tax  on  words  derived 
from  three  or  more  languages  at  once ;  words  derived 
from  two  languages  having  become  so  common  that 
there  was  no  more  hope  of  rooting  out  them  than  of 
rooting  out  peth- winds. 

The  Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer,  being  a  scholar 
and  a  man  of  sense,  jumped  at  the  notion ;  for  he  saw 
in  it  the  one  and  only  plan  for  abolishing  Schedule  D  : 
but  when  he  brought  in  his  bill,  most  of  the  Irish 
members,  and  (I  am  sorry  to  say)  some  of  the  Scotch 
likewise,  opposed  it  most  strongly,  on  the  ground  that 
in  a  free  country  no  man  was  bound  either  to  under- 


164  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

stand  himself  or  to  let  others  understand  him.  So 
the  bill  fell  through  on  the  first  reading ;  and  the 
Chancellor,  being  a  philosopher,  comforted  himself 
with  the  thought  that  it  was  not  the  first  time  that 
a  woman  had  hit  off  a  grand  idea  and  the  men  turned 
up  their  stupid  noses  thereat. 

Now  the  doctors  had  it  all  their  own  way ;  and  to 
work  they  went  in  earnest,  and  they  gave  the  poor 
professor  divers  and  sundry  medicines,  as  prescribed 
by  the  ancients  and  moderns,  from  Hippocrates  to 
Feuchtersleben,  as  below,  viz. — 

1.  Hellebore,  to  wit — 

Hellebore  of  JEta. 

Hellebore  of  Galatia. 

Hellebore  of  Sicily. 

And  all  other  Hellebores,  after  the  method 
of  the  Helleborising  Helleborists  of  the 
Helleboric  era.  But  that  would  not 
do.  Bumpsterhausen's  blue  follicles 
would  not  stir  an  inch  out  of  his 
encephalo  digital  region. 

2.  Trying  to  find  out  what  was  the  matter  with  him, 
after  the  method  of 

Hippocrates, 

Aretceus, 

Celsus, 

Godius  Aurelianus, 

And  Galen. 


iv  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  165 

But  they  found  that  a  great  deal  too  much  trouble, 
as  most  people  have  since ;  and  so  had  recourse  to — 

3.  Borage. 

Cauteries. 

Boring  a  hole  in  his  head  to  let  out  fumes,  which 
(says  Gordonius)  "  will,  without  doubt,  do  much  good." 
But  it  didn't. 

Bezoar  stone. 

Diamargaritum. 

A  rams  brain  boiled  in  spice. 

Oil  of  wormivood. 

Water  of  Nile. 

Capers. 

Good  wine  (but  there  was  none  to  be  got). 

The  water  of  a  smith's  forge. 

Hops. 

Ambergris. 

Mandrake  pillows. 

Dormouse  fat. 

Hares'  ears. 

Starvation. 

Camphor. 

Salts  and  senna. 

Musk. 

Opium. 

Strait-waistcoats. 

Bullyings. 

Bumpings. 


166  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

Blisterings. 
Bleedings. 

Budgetings  with  cold  water. 
Knockings  down. 

Kneeling  on  his  chest  till  they  broke  it  in, 
etc.   etc. ;    after  the  mediaeval  or  monkish 
method:  but  that  would  not  do.      Bump- 
sterhausen's  blue  follicles  stuck  there  still. 
Then— 

4.   Coaxing. 
Kissing. 

Champagne  and  turtle. 
Med  herrings  and  soda  water. 
Good  advice. 
Gardening. 
Croquet. 
Musical  soire'es. 
Aunt  Sally. 
Mild  tobacco. 
The  Saturday  Review. 
A  carriage  with  outriders,  etc.  etc. 
After  the  modern  method.      But  that  would  not  do. 
And  if  he  had  but  been  a  convict  lunatic,  and  had 
shot  at  the   Queen,  killed  all  his   creditors  to   avoid 
paying  them,  or  indulged  in  any  other  little  amiable 
eccentricity  of  that  kind,  they  would  have  given  him 
in  addition — 

The  healthiest  situation  in  England,  on  Easthamp- 
stead  Plain. 


IV  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  167 

Free  run  of  Windsor  Forest. 
The  Times  every  morning. 

A  double-barrelled  gun  and  pointers,  and  leave  to 
shoot  three  Wellington  College  boys  a  week  (not  more) 
in  case  black  game  was  scarce. 

But  as  he  was  neither  mad  enough  nor  bad  enough 
to  be  allowed  such  luxuries,  they  grew  desperate,  and 
fell  into  bad  ways,  viz. — 

5.   Suffumigations  of  sidphur. 

Herrwiggius   his    "  Incomparable   drink  for 
madmen : " 

Only  they  could  not  find  out  what  it  was. 

Sujfumigation  of  the  liver  of  the  fish  *  *  * 

Only  they  had  forgotten  its  name,  so  Dr.  Gray  could 
not  well  procure  them  a  specimen. 

Metallic  tractors. 

Holloivay's  Ointment. 

Electro-biology. 

Valentine  Gh-eatrakes  his  Stroking  Cure. 

Spirit-rapping. 

Holloivay's  Pills. 

Table-turning. 

Morison's  Pills. 

Homoeopathy. 

Parr's  Life  Pills. 

Mesmerism. 

Pure  Bosh. 

Exorcisms,    for    which     they    read     Maleus 


168  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

Maleficarum,  Nideri  Formicarium,  Delrio, 
Wierus,  etc. 
But  could  not  get  one  that  mentioned  water-babies. 

Hydropathy. 

Madame  Rachel's  Elixir  of  Youth. 

The  Poughkeepsie  Seer  his  Prophecies. 

The  distilled  liquor  of  addle  eggs. 

Pyropathy. 
As  successfully  employed  by  the  old  inquisitors  to 
cure  the  malady  of  thought,  and  now  by  the  Persian 
Mollahs  to  cure  that  of  rheumatism. 

Geopathy,  or  hurying  him. 

Atmopathy,  or  steaming  him. 

Sympathy,  after  the  method  of  Basil  Valen- 
tine his  Triumph  of  Antimony,  and  Ken- 
elm  Digoy  his  Weapon-salve,  which  some 
call  a  hair  of  the  dog  that  hit  him. 

Hermopathy,  or  pouring  mercury  down  his 
throat  to  move  the  animal  spirits. 

Meteoropathy,  or  going  wp  to  the  moon  to  look 
for  his  lost  wits,  as  Pnggiero  did  for 
Orlando  Furioso's  :  only,  having  no  hippo- 
griff,  they  were  forced  to  use  a  balloon; 
and,  falling  into  the  North  Sea,  were 
picked  up  by  a  Yarmouth  herring-boat, 
and  came  home  much  the  wiser,  and  all 
over  scales. 

Antipathy,  or  using  him  like  "  a  man  and  a 
brother" 


iv  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  169 

Apathy,  or  doing  nothing  at  all. 
With  all  other  ipathies  and  opathies  which 
Noodle  has  invented,  and  Foodie  tried,  since 
black-fellows  chipped  flints  at  AbMville — 
which  is  a  considerable  time  ago,  to  judge 
by  the  Cheat  Exhibition. 

But  nothing  would  do ;  for  he  screamed  and  cried 
all  day  for  a  water-baby,  to  come  and  drive  away  the 
monsters ;  and  of  course  they  did  not  try  to  find  one, 
because  they  did  not  believe  in  them,  and  were  think- 
ing of  nothing  but  Bumpsterhausen's  blue  follicles ; 
having,  as  usual,  set  the  cart  before  the  horse,  and 
taken  the  effect  for  the  cause. 

So  they  were  forced  at  last  to  let  the  poor  professor 
ease  his  mind  by  writing  a  great  book,  exactly  contrary 
to  all  his  old  opinions ;  in  which  he  proved  that  the 
moon  was  made  of  green  cheese,  and  that  all  the  mites 
in  it  (which  you  may  see  sometimes  quite  plain  through 
a  telescope,  if  you  will  only  keep  the  lens  dirty  enough, 
as  Mr.  Weekes  kept  his  voltaic  battery)  are  nothing  in 
the  world  but  little  babies,  who  are  hatching  and 
swarming  up  there  in  millions,  ready  to  come  down 
into  this  world  whenever  children  want  a  new  little 
brother  or  sister. 

Which  must  be  a  mistake,  for  this  one  reason : 
that,  there  being  no  atmosphere  round  the  moon  (though 
some  one  or  other  says  there  is,  at  least  on  the  other 
side,  and  that  he  has  been  round  at  the  back  of  it  to 


170 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


see,  and  found  that  the  moon  was  just  the  shape  of  a 
Bath  bun,  and  so  wet  that  the  man  in  the  moon  went 
about  on  Midsummer-day  in  Macintoshes  and  Cording's 
boots,  spearing  eels  and  sneezing) ;  that,  therefore,  I 


say,  there  being  no  atmosphere,  there  can  be  no  evap- 
oration ;  and  therefore,  the  dew-point  can  never  fall 
below  71  '5°  below  zero  of  Fahrenheit:  and,  therefore, 
it  cannot  be  cold  enough  there  about  four  o'clock  in 
the  morning  to  condense  the  babies'  mesenteric  apoph- 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


171 


thegms  into  their  left  ventricles ;  and,  therefore,  they 
can  never  catch  the  hooping-cough  ;  and  if  they  do  not 
have  hooping-cough,  they  cannot  be  babies  at  all ;  and, 
therefore,  there  are  no  babies  in  the  moon. — Q.E.D. 

Which  may  seem  a  roundabout  reason ;  and  so, 
perhaps,  it  is :  but  you  will  have  heard  worse  ones  in 
your  time,  and  from  better  men  than  you  are. 

But  one  thing  is  certain ;  that,  when  the  good  old 
doctor  got  his  book  written,  he  felt  considerably  relieved 


from  Bumpsterhausen's  blue  follicles,  and  a  few  things 
infinitely  worse ;  to  wit,  from  pride  and  vain-glory, 
and  from  blindness  and  hardness  of  heart ;  which  are 
the  true  causes  of  Bumpsterhausen's  blue  follicles,  and 
of  a  good  many  other  ugly  things  besides.  Whereon 
the  foul  flood -water  in  his  brains  ran  down,  and 
cleared  to  a  fine  coffee  colour,  such  as  fish  like  to 
rise  in,  till  very  fine  clean  fresh -run  fish  did  begin 
to  rise  in  his  brains ;  and  he  caught  two  or  three  of 
them  (which  is  exceedingly  fine  sport,  for  brain  rivers), 
and  anatomised  them  carefully,  and  never  mentioned 


172  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap,  iv 

what  he  found  out  from  them,  except  to  little  chil- 
dren ;  and  became  ever  after  a  sadder  and  a  wiser 
man ;  which  is  a  very  good  thing  to  become,  my  dear 
little  boy,  even  though  one  has  to  pay  a  heavy  price 
for  the  blessing. 


"  Stern  Lawgiver  !  yet  thou  dost  wear 
The  Godhead's  most  benignant  grace  ; 
Nor  know  we  anything  so  fair 
As  is  the  smile  upon  thy  face  : 
Flowers  laugh  before  thee  on  their  beds 
And  fragrance  in  thy  footing  treads  ; 
Thou  dost  preserve  the  stars  from  wrong ; 
And  the  most  ancient  heavens,  through  Thee,  are  fresh  and  strong." 

"Wordsworth,  Ode  to  Duty. 


CHAPTEE  V 


UT   what   became 
of  little  Tom  ? 

He  slipped 
away  off  the  rocks 
into  the  water,  as 
I  said  before. 
But  he  could 
not  help  think- 
ing of  little 
Ellie.  He  did 
a'~-^\  not  remember 
^**  '  who  she  was  ; 
but  he  knew 
that  she  was 
a  little  girl, 
though  she  was  a  hundred  times  as  big  as  he.  That 
is  not  surprising  :  size  has  nothing  to  do  with  kindred. 
A  tiny  weed  may  be  first  cousin  to  a  great  tree ;  and 
a  little  dog  like  Vick  knows  that  Lioness  is  a  dog  too, 
though  she  is  twenty  times  larger  than  herself.  So 
Tom  knew  that  Ellie  was  a  little  girl,  and  thought 
about  her  all  that  day,  and  longed  to  have  had  her 


176  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

to  play  with ;  but  he  had  very  soon  to  think  of  some- 
thing else.  And  here  is  the  account  of  what  happened 
to  him,  as  it  was  published  next  morning  in  the  Water- 
proof Gazette,  on  the  finest  watered  paper,  for  the  use 
of  the  great  fairy,  Mrs.  Bedonebyasyoudid,  who  reads 
the  news  very  carefully  every  morning,  and  especially 
the  police  cases,  as  you  will  hear  very  soon. 

He  was  going  along  the  rocks  in  three -fathom 
water,  watching  the  pollock  catch  prawns,  and  the 
wrasses  nibble  barnacles  off  the  rocks,  shells  and  all, 
when  he  saw  a  round  cage  of  green  withes ;  and  inside 
it,  looking  very  much  ashamed  of  himself,  sat  his  friend 
the  lobster,  twiddling  his  horns,  instead  of  thumbs. 

"  "What,  have  you  been  naughty,  and  have  they  put 
you  in  the  lock-up  ? "  asked  Tom. 

The  lobster  felt  a  little  indignant  at  such  a  notion, 
but  he  was  too  much  depressed  in  spirits  to  argue ;  so 
he  only  said,  "  I  can't  get  out." 
"  Why  did  you  get  in  ? " 

"After  that   nasty  piece   of  dead   fish."     He  had 
thought  it  looked  and  smelt  very  nice  when  he  was 
outside,  and  so  it  did,  for  a  lobster  :  but  now  he  turned 
round  and  abused  it  because  he  was  angry  with  himself. 
"  Where  did  you  get  in  ?  " 
"Through  that  round  hole  at  the  top." 
"  Then  why  don't  you  get  out  through  it  ?  " 
"  Because  I  can't : "  and  the  lobster  twiddled  his 
horns  more  fiercely  than  ever,  but  he  was  forced  to 
confess. 


v  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  177 

"  I  have  jumped  upwards,  downwards,  backwards, 
and  sideways,  at  least  four  thousand  times ;  and  I 
can't  get  out :  I  always  get  up  underneath  there,  and 
can't  find  the  hole." 

Tom  looked  at  the  trap,  and  having  more  wit  than 
the  lobster,  he  saw  plainly  enough  what  was  the 
matter ;  as  you  may  if  you  will  look  at  a  lobster-pot. 

"  Stop  a  bit,"  said  Tom.  "  Turn  your  tail  up  to  me, 
and  I'll  pull  you  through  hindforemost,  and  then  you 
won't  stick  in  the  spikes." 

But  the  lobster  was  so  stupid  and  clumsy  that  he 
couldn't  hit  the  hole.  Like  a  great  many  fox-hunters, 
he  was  very  sharp  as  long  as  he  was  in  his  own 
country ;  but  as  soon  as  they  get  out  of  it  they 
lose  their  heads ;  and  so  the  lobster,  so  to  speak,  lost 
his  tail. 

Tom  reached  and  clawed  down  the  hole  after  him, 
till  he  caught  hold  of  him ;  and  then,  as  was  to  be 
expected,  the  clumsy  lobster  pulled  him  in  head  fore- 
most. 

"  Hullo !  here  is  a  pretty  business,"  said  Tom. 
"  Now  take  your  great  claws,  and  break  the  points  off 
those  spikes,  and  then  we  shall  both  get  out  easily." 

"Dear  me,  I  never  thought  of  that,"  said  the 
lobster ;  "  and  after  all  the  experience  of  life  that  I 
have  had ! " 

You  see,  experience  is  of  very  little  good  unless  a 
man,  or  a  lobster,  has  wit  enough  to  make  use  of  it. 
For  a  good  many  people,  like  old  Polonius,  have  seen 

N 


178  THE  WATER-BABIES     .  chap,  v 

all  the  world,  and  yet  remain  little  better  than  children 
after  all. 

But  they  had  not  got  half  the  spikes  away  when 
they  saw  a  great  dark  cloud  over  them :  and  lo,  and 
behold,  it  was  the  otter. 

How  she  did  grin  and  grin  when  she  saw  Tom. 
"  Yar ! "  said  she,  "  you  little  meddlesome  wretch,  I 
have  you  now  !  I  will  serve  you  out  for  telling  the 
salmon  where  I  was  ! "  And  she  crawled  all  over  the 
pot  to  get  in. 

Tom  was  horribly  frightened,  and  still  more  fright- 
ened when  she  found  the  hole  in  the  top,  and  squeezed 
herself  right  down  through  it,  all  eyes  and  teeth.  But 
no  sooner  was  her  head  inside  than  valiant  Mr.  Lobster 
caught  her  by  the  nose  and  held  on. 

And  there  they  were  all  three  in  the  pot,  rolling 
over  and  over,  and  very  tight  packing  it  was.  And 
the  lobster  tore  at  the  otter,  and  the  otter  tore  at  the 
lobster,  and  both  squeezed  and  thumped  poor  Tom  till 
he  had  no  breath  left  in  his  body;  and  I  don't  know  what 
would  have  happened  to  him  if  he  had  not  at  last  got 
on  the  otter's  back,  and  safe  out  of  the  hole. 

He  was  right  glad  when  he  got  out :  but  he  would 
not  desert  his  friend  who  had  saved  him ;  and  th^ 
first  time  he  saw  his  tail  uppermost  he  caught  hold  of 
it,  and  pulled  with  all  his  might. 

But  the  lobster  would  not  let  go. 

"  Come  along,"  said  Tom ;  "  don't  you  see  she  is 
dead  ? "     And  so  she  was,  quite  drowned  and  dead. 


180 


THE  ^ 


7ATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


id  of  the  wicked  otter. 


And  that  was  the  ei 

But  the  lobster  wou  &    ^° 


"  Come    along,    you 


stupid    old    stick-in-the-mud," 


cried  Tom,  «  or  the  fish3™*11  wiU  °atch  7°U  ! "     And 


fi.,,4-  „       4.         n     m        p  -.fct  some  one  above  beginning 
that  was  true,  for  Tom  fel  &  8 

to  haul  up  the  pot. 

But  the  lobster  would  1  1       6    g°' 

m  ,-,       „  ,  ]li  haul  him  up  to  the  boat- 

lom  saw  the  fishermai 


v  a  £  fAyTJL4lFor  a  land-baby  m 

side,  aud  thought  it  was  all  up  with  him.  But  when 
Mr.  Lobster  saw  the  fisherman,  he  gave  such  a  furious 
and  tremendous  snap,  that  he  snapped  out  of  his  hand, 
and  out  of  the  pot,  and  safe  into  the  sea.  But  he  left 
his  knobbed  claw  behind  him ;  for  it  never  came  into 
his  stupid  head  to  let  go  after  all,  so  he  just  shook  his 
claw  off  as  the  easier  method.  It  was  something  of 
a  bull,  that ;  but  you  must  know  the  lobster  was  an 
Irish  lobster,  and  was  hatched  off  Island  Magee  at  the 
mouth  of  Belfast  Lough. 

Tom  asked  the  lobster  why  he  never  thought  of 
letting  go.  He  said  very  determinedly  that  it  was  a 
point  of  honour  among  lobsters.  And  so  it  is,  as  the 
Mayor  of  Plymouth  found  out  once  to  his  cost — eight 
or  nine  hundred  years  ago,  of  course;  for  if  it  had 
happened  lately  it  would  be  personal  to  mention  it. 

For  one  day  he  was  so  tired  with  sitting  on  a  hard 
chair,  in  a  grand  furred  gown,  with  a  gold  chain  round 
his  neck,  hearing  one  policeman  after  another  come  in 
and  sing,  "  What  shall  we  do  with  the  drunken  sailor, 
so  early  in  the  morning  ? "  and  answering  them  each 
exactly  alike : 

"  Put  him  in  the  round  house  till  he  gets  sober,  so 
early  in  the  morning  " — 

That,  when  it  was  over,  he  jumped  up,  and  played 
leap-frog  with  the  town-clerk  till  he  burst  his  buttons, 
and  then  had  his  luncheon,  and  burst  some  more 
buttons,  and  then  said :  "  It  is  a  low  spring-tide ;  I 
shall  go  out  this  afternoon  and  cut  my  capers." 


182  THE  WA1  i£S  chap 

Now  he  did  not  mean  to  cut  such  capers  as  you 
eat  with  boiled  mutton.  It  was  the  commandant  of 
artillery  at  Valetta  who  used  to  amuse  himself  with 
cutting  them,  and  who  stuck  upon  one  of  the  bastions 
a  notice,  "  No  one  allowed  to  cut  capers  here  but  me," 
which  greatly  edified  the  midshipmen  in  port,  and  the 
Maltese  on  the  Nix  Mangiare  stairs.  But  all  that  the 
mayor  meant  was  that  he  would  go  and  have  an  after- 
noon's fun,  like  any  schoolboy,  and  catch  lobsters  with 
an  iron  hook. 

So  to  the  Mewstone  he  went,  and  for  lobsters  he 
looked.  And  when  he  came  to  a  certain  crack  in  the 
rocks  he  was  so  excited  that,  instead  of  putting  in  his 
hook,  he  put  in  his  hand ;  and  Mr.  Lobster  was  at 
home,  and  caught  him  by  the  finger,  and  held  on. 

"  Yah ! "  said  the  mayor,  and  pulled  as  hard  as  he 
dared :  but  the  more  he  pulled,  the  more  the  lobster 
pinched,  till  he  was  forced  to  be  quiet. 

Then  he  tried  to  get  his  hook  in  with  his  other 
hand ;  but  the  hole  was  too  narrow. 

Then  he  pulled  again ;  but  he  could  not  stand  the 
pain. 

Then  he  shouted  and  bawled  for  help :  but  there 
was  no  one  nearer  him  than  the  men-of-war  inside  the 
breakwater. 

Then  he  began  to  turn  a  little  pale ;  for  the  tide 
flowed,  and  still  the  lobster  held  on. 

Then  he  turned  quite  white ;  for  the  tide  was  up 
to  his  knees,  and  still  the  lobster  held  on. 


v  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  183 

Then  he  thought  of  cutting  off  his  finger ;  but  he 
wanted  two  things  to  do  it  with — courage  and  a  knife; 
and  he  had  got  neither. 

Then  he  turned  quite  yellow;  for  the  tide  was  up 
to  his  waist,  and  still  the  lobster  held  on. 

Then  he  thought  over  all  the  naughty  things  he 
ever  had  done ;  all  the  sand  which  he  had  put  in  the 
sugar,  and  the  sloe-leaves  in  the  tea,  and  the  water  in 
the  treacle,  and  the  salt  in  the  tobacco  (because  his 
brother  was  a  brewer,  and  a  man  must  help  his  own 
kin). 

Then  he  turned  quite  blue ;  for  the  tide  was  up  to 
his  breast,  and  still  the  lobster  held  on. 

Then,  I  have  no  doubt,  he  repented  fully  of  all  the 
said  naughty  things  which  he  had  done,  and  promised 
to  mend  his  life,  as  too  many  do  when  they  think  they 
have  no  life  left  to  mend.  Whereby,  as  they  fancy, 
they  make  a  very  cheap  bargain.  But  the  old  fairy 
with  the  birch  rod  soon  undeceives  them. 

And  then  he  grew  all  colours  at  once,  and  turned 
up  his  eyes  like  a  duck  in  thunder ;  for  the  water  was 
up  to  his  chin,  and  still  the  lobster  held  on. 

And  then  came  a  man-of-war's  boat  round  the 
Mewstone,  and  saw  his  head  sticking  up  out  of  the 
water.  One  said  it  was  a  keg  of  brandy,  and  another 
that  it  was  a  cocoa-nut,  and  another  that  it  was  a  buoy 
loose,  and  another  that  it  was  a  black  diver,  and 
wanted  to  fire  at  it,  which  would  not  have  been 
pleasant    for   the   mayor :  but  just   then    such  a  yell 


184 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


came  out  of  a  great  hole  in  the  middle  of  it  chat  the 
midshipman  in  charge  guessed  what  it  was,  and  bade 

pull  up  to  it  as 
fast  as  they  could. 
So  somehow  or 
other  the  Jack- 
tars  got  the  lobster 
out,  and  set  the 
mayor  free,  and 
put  him  ashore 
at  the  Barbican. 
He  never  went 
lobster  -  catching 
again;  and  we  will 
hope  he  put  no 
more  salt  in  the  tobacco,  not  even  to  sell  his  brother's 
beer. 

And  that  is  the  story  of  the  Mayor  of  Plymouth, 
which  has  two  advantages — first,  that  of  being  quite 
true ;  and  second,  that  of  having  (as  folks  say  all  good 
stories  ought  to  have)  no  moral  whatsoever :  no  more, 
indeed,  has  any  part  of  this  book,  because  it  is  a  fairy 
tale,  you  know. 

And  now  happened  to  Tom  a  most  wonderful  thing; 
for  he  had  not  left  the  lobster  five  minutes  before  he 
came  upon  a  water-baby. 

A  real  live  water-baby,  sitting  on  the  white  sand, 
very  busy  about  a  little  point  of  rock.  And  when  it 
saw  Tom  it  looked  up  for  a  moment,  and  then  cried, 


V  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  185 

"  Why,  you  are  not  one  of  us.  You  are  a  new  baby ! 
Oh,  how  delightful ! 

And  it  ran  to  Tom,  and  Tom  ran  to  it,  and  they 
hugged  and  kissed  each  other  for  ever  so  long,  they 
did  not  know  why.  But  they  did  not  want  any  intro- 
ductions there  under  the  water. 

At  last  Tom  said,  "  Oh,  where  have  you  been  all 
this  while  ?  I  have  been  looking  for  you  so  long,  and 
I  have  been  so  lonely." 

"  We  have  been  here  for  days  and  days.  There 
are  hundreds  of  us  about  the  rocks.  How  was  it  you 
did  not  see  us,  or  hear  us  when  we  sing  and  romp 
every  evening  before  we  go  home  ?  " 

Tom  looked  at  the  baby  again,  and  then  he  said : 

"  Well,  this  is  wonderful  !  I  have  seen  things  just 
like  you  again  and  again,  but  I  thought  you  were 
shells,  or  sea-creatures.  I  never  took  you  for  water- 
babies  like  myself." 

Now,  was  not  that  very  odd  ?  So  odd,  indeed,  that 
you  will,  no  doubt,  want  to  know  how  it  happened, 
and  why  Tom  could  never  find  a  water-baby  till  after 
he  had  got  the  lobster  out  of  the  pot.  And,  if  you 
will  read  this  story  nine  times  over,  and  then  think 
for  yourself,  you  will  find  out  why.  It  is  not  good 
for  little  boys  to  be  told  everything,  and  never  to 
be  forced  to  use  their  own  wits.  They  would  learn, 
then,  no  more  than  they  do  at  Dr.  Dulcimer's  famous 
suburban  establishment  for  the  idler  members  of  the 
youthful    aristocracy,    where    the    masters    learn    the 


186  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

lessons  and  the  boys  hear  them — which  saves  a  great 
deal  of  trouble — for  the  time  being. 

"  Now,"  said  the  baby,  "  come  and  help  me,  or  I 
shall  not  have  finished  before  my  brothers  and  sisters 
come,  and  it  is  time  to  go  home." 

"  What  shall  I  help  you  at  ?  " 

"  At  this  poor  dear  little  rock ;  a  great  clumsy 
boulder  came  rolling  by  in  the  last  storm,  and  knocked 
all  its  head  off,  and  rubbed  off  all  its  flowers.  And 
now  I  must  plant  it  again  with  seaweeds,  and  coralline, 
and  anemones,  and  I  will  make  it  the  prettiest  little 
rock-garden  on  all  the  shore." 

So  they  worked  away  at  the  rock,  and  planted  it, 
and  smoothed  the  sand  down  round  it,  and  capital  fun 
they  had  till  the  tide  began  to  turn.  And  then  Tom 
heard  all  the  other  babies  coming,  laughing  and  singing 
and  shouting  and  romping ;  and  the  noise  they  made 
was  just  like  the  noise  of  the  ripple.  So  he  knew  that 
he  had  been  hearing  and  seeing  the  water-babies  all 
along ;  only  he  did  not  know  them,  because  his  eyes 
and  ears  were  not  opened. 

And  in  they  came,  dozens  and  dozens  of  them,  some 
bigger  than  Tom  and  some  smaller,  all  in  the  neatest 
little  white  bathing  dresses  ;  and  when  they  found  that 
he  was  a  new  baby,  they  hugged  him  and  kissed  him, 
and  then  put  him  in  the  middle  and  danced  round  him 
on  the  sand,  and  there  was  no  one  ever  so  happy  as 
poor  little  Tom. 

"  Now  then,"  they  cried  all  at  once,  "  we  must  come 


v  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  187 

away  home,  we  must  come  away  home,  or  the  tide  will 
leave  us  dry.  We  have  mended  all  the  broken  sea- 
weed, and  put  all  the  rock-pools  in  order,  and  planted 
all  the  shells  again  in  the  sand,  and  nobody  will  see 
where  the  ugly  storm  swept  in  last  week." 

And  this  is  the  reason  why  the  rock-pools  are 
always  so  neat  and  clean;  because  the  water-babies 
come  inshore  after  every  storm  to  sweep  them  out,  and 
comb  them  down,  and  put  them  all  to  rights  again. 

Only  where  men  are  wasteful  and  dirty,  and  let 
sewers  run  into  the  sea  instead  of  putting  the  stuff 
upon  the  fields  like  thrifty  reasonable  souls ;  or  throw 
herrings'  heads  and  dead  dog-fish,  or  any  other  refuse, 
into  the  water ;  or  in  any  way  make  a  mess  upon  the 
clean  shore — there  the  water-babies  will  not  come,  some- 
times not  for  hundreds  of  years  (for  they  cannot  abide 
anything  smelly  or  foul),  but  leave  the  sea-anemones  and 
the  crabs  to  clear  away  everything,  till  the  good  tidy 
sea  has  covered  up  all  the  dirt  in  soft  mud  and  clean 
sand,  where  the  water -babies  can  plant  live  cockles 
and  whelks  and  razor -shells  and  sea-cucumbers  and 
golden -combs,  and  make  a  pretty  live  garden  again, 
after  man's  dirt  is  cleared  away.  And  that,  I  suppose, 
is  the  reason  why  there  are  no  water-babies  at  any 
watering-place  which  I  have  ever  seen. 

And  where  is  the  home  of  the  water-babies  ?  In 
St.  Brandan's  fairy  isle. 

Did  you  never  hear  of  the  blessed  St.  Brandan,  how 
he  preached  to  the  wild  Irish  on  the  wild,  wild  Kerry 


188  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

coast,  he  and  five  other  hermits,  till  they  were  weary 
and  longed  to  rest  ?  For  the  wild  Irish  would  not 
listen  to  them,  or  come  to  confession  and  to  mass,  but 
liked  better  to  brew  potheen,  and  dance  the  pater  o'pee, 
and  knock  each  other  over  the  head  with  shillelaghs, 
and  shoot  each  other  from  behind  turf-dykes,  and  steal 
each  other's  cattle,  and  burn  each  other's  homes ;  till 
St.  Brandan  and  his  friends  were  weary  of  them,  for 
they  would  not  learn  to  be  peaceable  Christians  at  all. 

So  St.  Brandan  went  out  to  the  point  of  Old  Dun- 
more,  and  looked  over  the  tide-way  roaring  round  the 
Blasquets,  at  the  end  of  all  the  world,  and  away  into 
the  ocean,  and  sighed — "Ah  that  I  had  wings  as  a 
dove  ! "  And  far  away,  before  the  setting  sun,  he  saw 
a  blue  fairy  sea,  and  golden  fairy  islands,  and  he  said, 
"  Those  are  the  islands  of  the  blest."  Then  he  and  his 
friends  got  into  a  hooker,  and  sailed  away  and  away  to 
the  westward,  and  were  never  heard  of  more.  But  the 
people  who  would  not  hear  him  were  changed  into 
gorillas,  and  gorillas  they  are  until  this  day. 

And  when  St.  Brandan  and  the  hermits  came  to 
that  fairy  isle  they  found  it  overgrown  with  cedars  and 
full  of  beautiful  birds  ;  and  he  sat  down  under  the 
cedars  and  preached  to  all  the  birds  in  the  air.  And 
they  liked  his  sermons  so  well  that  they  told  the  fishes 
in  the  sea ;  and  they  came,  and  St.  Brandan  preached 
to  them  ;  and  the  fishes  told  the  water-babies,  who  live 
in  the  caves  under  the  isle ;  and  they  came  up  by 
hundreds  every  Sunday,  and  St.  Brandan  got  quite  a 


v  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  189 

neat  little  Sunday-school.  And  there  he  taught  the 
water-babies  for  a  great  many  hundred  years,  till  his 
eyes  grew  too  dim  to  see,  and  his  beard  grew  so  long 
that  he  dared  not  walk  for  fear  of  treading  on  it,  and 
then  he  might  have  tumbled  down.  And  at  last  he 
and  the  five  hermits  fell  fast  asleep  under  the  cedar- 
shades,  and  there  they  sleep  unto  this  day.  But  the 
fairies  took  to  the  water-babies,  and  taught  them  their 
lessons  themselves. 

And  some  say  that  St.  Brandan  will  awake  and 
begin  to  teach  the  babies  once  more :  but  some  think 
that  he  will  sleep  on,  for  better  for  worse,  till  the  com- 
ing of  the  Cocqcigrues.  But,  on  still  clear  summer 
evenings,  when  the  sun  sinks  down  into  the  sea,  among 
golden  cloud -capes  and  cloud -islands,  and  locks  and 
friths  of  azure  sky,  the  sailors  fancy  that  they  see,  away 
to  westward,  St.  Brandan' s  fairy  isle. 

But  whether  men  can  see  it  or  not,  St.  Brandan's 
Isle  once  actually  stood  there ;  a  great  land  out  in  the 
ocean,  which  has  sunk  and  sunk  beneath  the  waves. 
Old  Plato  called  it  Atlantis,  and  told  strange  tales  of 
the  wise  men  who  lived  therein,  and  of  the  wars  they 
fought  in  the  old  times.  And  from  off  that  island 
came  strange  flowers,  which  linger  still  about  this 
land : — the  Cornish  heath,  and  Cornish  moneywort, 
and  the  delicate  Venus's  hair,  and  the  London -pride 
which  covers  the  Kerry  mountains,  and  the  little  pink 
butterwort  of  Devon,  and  the  great  blue  butterwort  of 
Ireland,  and  the  Connemara  heath,  and  the  bristle-fern 


190  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

of  the  Turk  waterfall,  and  many  a  strange  plant  more  ; 
all  fairy  tokens  left  for  wise  men  and  good  children 
from  off  St.  Brandan's  Isle. 

Now  when  Tom  got  there,  he  found  that  the  isle 
stood  all  on  pillars,  and  that  its  roots  were  full  of  caves. 
There  were  pillars  of  black  basalt,  like  Staffa ;  and 
pillars  of  green  and  crimson  serpentine,  like  Kynance ; 
and  pillars  ribboned  with  red  and  white  and  yellow 
sandstone,  like  Livermead  ;  and  there  were  blue  grottoes 
like  Capri,  and  white  grottoes  like  Adelsberg ;  all 
curtained  and  draped  with  seaweeds,  purple  and  crim- 
son, green  and  brown;  and  strewn  with  soft  white 
sand,  on  which  the  water -babies  sleep  every  night. 
But,  to  keep  the  place  clean  and  sweet,  the  crabs 
picked  up  all  the  scraps  off  the  floor  and  ate  them 
like  so  many  monkeys ;  while  the  rocks  were  covered 
with  ten  thousand  sea-anemones,  and  corals  and  madre- 
pores, who  scavenged  the  water  all  day  long,  and  kept 
it  nice  and  pure.  But,  to  make  up  to  them  for  having 
to  do  such  nasty  work,  they  were  not  left  black  and 
dirty,  as  poor  chimney-sweeps  and  dustmen  are.  No ; 
the  fairies  are  more  considerate  and  just  than  that,  and 
have  dressed  them  all  in  the  most  beautiful  colours  and 
patterns,  till  they  look  like  vast  flower-beds  of  gay 
blossoms.  If  you  think  I  am  talking  nonsense,  I  can 
only  say  that  it  is  true;  and  that  an  old  gentleman 
named  Fourier  used  to  say  that  we  ought  to  do  the 
same  by  chimney-sweeps  and  dustmen,  and  honour 
them  instead  of  despising  them ;  and  he  was  a  very 


v  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  191 

clever  old  gentleman :  but,  unfortunately  for.  him  and 
the  world,  as  mad  as  a  March  hare. 

And,  instead  of  watchmen  and  policemen  to  keep 
out  nasty  things  at  night,  there  were  thousands  and 
thousands  of  water-snakes,  and  most  wonderful  creatures 
they  were.  They  were  all  named  after  the  Nereids, 
the  sea -fairies  who  took  care  of  them,  Eunice  and 
Polynoe,  Phyllodoce  and  Psamathe,  and  all  the  rest  of 
the  pretty  darlings  who  swim  round  their  Queen 
Amphitrite,  and  her  car  of  cameo  shell.  They  were 
dressed  in  green  velvet,  and  black  velvet,  and  purple 
velvet ;  and  were  all  jointed  in  rings ;  and  some  of 
them  had  three  hundred  brains  apiece,  so  that  they 
must  have  been  uncommonly  shrewd  detectives;  and 
some  had  eyes  in  their  tails ;  and  some  had  eyes  in 
every  joint,  so  that  they  kept  a  very  sharp  look-out ; 
and  when  they  wanted  a  baby-snake,  they  just  grew 
one  at  the  end  of  their  own  tails,  and  when  it  was  able 
to  take  care  of  itself  it  dropped  off;  so  that  they 
brought  up  their  families  very  cheaply.  But  if  any 
nasty  thing  came  by,  out  they  rushed  upon  it;  and 
then  out  of  each  of  their  hundreds  of  feet  there  sprang 
a  whole  cutler's  shop  of 


Scythes, 

Javelins, 

Billhooks, 

Lances, 

Pickaxes, 

Halberts, 

Forks, 

Gisarines, 

Penknives, 

Poleaxes, 

192  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

Rapiers,  Fishhooks, 

Sabres,  Bradawls, 

Yataghans,  Gimblets, 

Creeses,  Corkscrews, 

Ghoorka  swords,  Pins, 

Tucks,  Needles, 
And  so  forth 

which  stabbed,  shot,  poked,  pricked,  scratched,  ripped, 
pinked,  and  crimped  those  naughty  beasts  so  terribly 
that  they  had  to  run  for  their  lives,  or  else  be  chopped 
into  small  pieces  and  be  eaten  afterwards.  And,  if 
that  is  not  all,  every  word,  true,  then  there  is  no  faith 
in  microscopes,  and  all  is  over  with  the  Linnaean 
Society. 

And  there  were  the  water-babies  in  thousands, 
more  than  Tom,  or  you  either,  could  count. — All  the 
little  children  whom  the  good  fairies  take  to,  because 
their  cruel  mothers  and  fathers  will  not;  all  who  are 
untaught  and  brought  up  heathens,  and  all  who  come 
to  grief  by  ill-usage  or  ignorance  or  neglect ;  \all  the 
little  children  who  are  overlaid,  or  given  gin  when 
they  are  young,  or  are  let  to  drink  out  of  hot  kettles, 
or  to  fall  into  the  fire ;  all  the  little  children  in  alleys 
and  courts,  and  tumble -down  cottages,  who  die  hy 
fever,  and  cholera,  and  measles,  and  scarlatina,  and 
nasty  complaints  which  no  one  has  any  business  to 
have,  and  which  no  one  will  have  some  day,  when  folks 
have  common  sense ;  and  all  the  little  children  who 


v  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  193 

have  been  killed  by  cruel  masters  and  wicked  soldiers ; 
they  were  all  there,  except,  of  course,  the  babes  of 
Bethlehem  who  were  killed  by  wicked  King  Herod ; 
for  they  were  taken  straight  to  heaven  long  ago,  as 
everybody  knows,  and  we  call  them  the  Holy  Innocents. 

But  I  wish  Tom  had  given  up  all  his  naughty 
tricks,  and  left  off  tormenting  dumb  animals  now  that 
he  had  plenty  of  playfellows  to  amuse  him.  Instead 
of  that,  I  am  sorry  to  say,  he  would  meddle  with  the 
creatures,  all  but  the  water- snakes,  for  they  would 
stand  no  nonsense.  So  he  tickled  the  madrepores,  to 
make  them  shut  up ;  and  frightened  the  crabs,  to  make 
them  hide  in  the  sand  and  peep  out  at  him  with  the 
tips  of  their  eyes ;  and  put  stones  into  the  anemones' 
mouths,  to  make  them  fancy  that  their  dinner  was 
coming. 

The  other  children  warned  him,  and  said,  "  Take 
care  what  you  are  at.  Mrs.  Bedonebyasyoudid  is 
coming."  But  Tom  never  heeded  them,  being  quite 
riotous  with  high  spirits  and  good  luck,  till,  one  Friday 
morning  early,  Mrs.  Bedonebyasyoudid  came  indeed. 

A  very  tremendous  lady  she  was ;  and  when  the 
children  saw  her  they  all  stood  in  a  row,  very  upright 
indeed,  and  smoothed  down  their  bathing  dresses,  and 
put  their  hands  behind  them,  just  as  if  they  were  going 
to  be  examined  by  the  inspector. 

And  she  had  on  a  black  bonnet,  and  a  black  shawl, 
and  no  crinoline  at  all ;  and  a  pair  of  large  green  spec- 
tacles, and  a  great  hooked  nose,  hooked  so  much  that 

0 


194  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

the  bridge  of  it  stood  quite  up  above  her  eyebrows ; 
and  under  her  arm  she  carried  a  great  birch-rod.  In- 
deed, she  was  so  ugly  that  Tom  was  tempted  to  make 
faces  at  her :  but  did  not ;  for  he  did  not  admire  the 
look  of  the  birch-rod  under  her  arm. 

And  she  looked  at  the  children  one  by  one,  and 
seemed  very  much  pleased  with  them,  though  she 
never  asked  them  one  question  about  how  they  were 
behaving ;  and  then  began  giving  them  all  sorts  of 
nice  sea-things — sea-cakes,  sea-apples,  sea-oranges,  sea- 
bullseyes,  sea-toffee;  and  to  the  very  best  of  all  she 
gave  sea-ices,  made  out  of  sea-cows'  cream,  which  never 
melt  under  water. 

And,  if  you  don't  quite  believe  me,  then  just  think 
— What  is  more  cheap  and  plentiful  than  sea-rock  ? 
Then  why  should  there  not  be  sea -toffee  as  well  ? 
And  every  one  can  find  sea-lemons  (ready  quartered 
too)  if  they  will  look  for  them  at  low  tide ;  and  sea- 
grapes  too  sometimes,  hanging  in  bunches  ;  and,  if  you 
will  go  to  Nice,  you  will  find  the  fish-market  full  of 
sea-fruit,  which  they  call  "  frutta  di  mare  :  "  though  I 
suppose  they  call  them  "  fruits  de  mer "  now,  out  of 
compliment  to  that  most  successful,  and  therefore  most 
immaculate,  potentate  who  is  seemingly  desirous  of  in- 
heriting the  blessing  pronounced  on  those  who  remove 
their  neighbours'  land-mark.  And,  perhaps,  that  is  the 
very  reason  why  the  place  is  called  Nice,  because  there 
are  so  many  nice  things  in  the  sea  there :  at  least,  if 
it  is  not,  it  ought  to  be. 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


195 


Now  little  Tom  watched  all  these  sweet  things 
given  away,  till  his  mouth  watered,  and  his  eyes  grew 
as  round  as  an  owl's.  For  he  hoped  that  his  turn 
would  come  at  last;  and  so  it  did.  For  the  lady 
called  him  up,  and  held  out  her  fingers  with  something 
in  them,  and  popped  it  into  his  mouth ;  and,  lo  and 
behold,  it  was  a  nasty 
cold  hard  pebble. 

"  You  are  a  very 
cruel  woman,"  said  he, 
and  began  to  whimper. 

"And  you  are  a 
very  cruel  boy ;  who 
puts  pebbles  into  the 
sea-anemones'  mouths, 
to  take  them  in,  and 
make  them  fancy  that 
they  had  caught  a 
good  dinner!  As  you 
did  to  them,  so  I  must 
do  to  you." 

"  Who  told  you 
that  ?  "  said  Tom. 

"  You  did  yourself, 
this  very  minute." 

Tom  had  never  opened  his  lips ;  so  he  was  very 
much  taken  aback  indeed. 

"  Yes ;  every  one  tells  me  exactly  what  they  have 
done  wrong;  and  that  without  knowing  it  themselves. 


196  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

So  there  is  no  use  trying  to  hide  anything  from  me. 
Now  go,  and  be  a  good  boy,  and  I  will  put  no  more 
pebbles  in  your  mouth,  if  you  put  none  in  other 
creatures'." 

'•  I  did  not  know  there  was  any  harm  in  it,"  said 
Tom. 

"  Then  you  know  now.  People  continually  say 
that  to  me :  but  I  tell  them,  if  you  don't  know  that 
fire  burns,  that  is  no  reason  that  it  should  not  burn  you; 
and  if  you  don't  know  that  dirt  breeds  fever,  that  is 
no  reason  why  the  fevers  should  not  kill  you.  The 
lobster  did  not  know  that  there  was  any  harm  in  getting 
into  the  lobster-pot ;  but  it  caught  him  all  the  same." 

"  Dear  me,"  thought  Tom,  "  she  knows  everything  !" 
And  so  she  did,  indeed. 

"And  so,  if  you  do  not  know  that  things  are  wrong, 
that  is  no  reason  why  you  should  not  be  punished  for 
them ;  though  not  as  much,  not  as  much,  my  little 
man  "  (and  the  lady  looked  very  kindly,  after  all),  "  as 
if  you  did  know." 

"  Well,  you  are  a  little  hard  on  a  poor  lad,"  said 
Tom. 

"  Not  at  all ;  I  am  the  best  friend  you  ever  had  in 
all  your  life.  But  I  will  tell  you ;  I  cannot  help 
punishing  people  when  they  do  wrong.  I  like  it  no 
more  than  they  do ;  I  am  often  very,  very  sorry  for 
them,  poor  things :  but  I  cannot  help  it.  If  I  tried 
not  to  do  it,  I  should  do  it  all  the  same.  For  I  work 
by  machinery,  just  like  an    engine ;    and   am  full  of 


V  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  197 

wheels  and  springs  inside ;  and  am  wound  up  very 
carefully,  so  that  I  cannot  help  going." 

"  Was  it  long  ago  since  they  wound  you  up  ? "  asked 
Tom.  For  he  thought,  the  cunning  little  fellow,  "  She 
will  run  down  some  day :  or  they  may  forget  to  wind 
her  up,  as  old  Grimes  used  to  forget  to  wind  up  his 
watch  when  he  came  in  from  the  public-house ;  and 
then  I  shall  be  safe." 

"  I  was  wound  up  once  and  for  all,  so  long  ago,  that 
I  forget  all  about  it." 

"Dear  me,"  said  Tom,  "you  must  have  been  made 
a  long  time  !  " 

"  I  never  was  made,  my  child ;  and  I  shall  go  for 
ever  and  ever ;  for  I  am  as  old  as  Eternity,  and  yet  as 
young  as  Time." 

And  there  came  over  the  lady's  face  a  very  curious 
expression — very  solemn,  and  very  sad;  and  yet  very, 
very  sweet.  And  she  looked  up  and  away,  as  if  she 
were  gazing  through  the  sea,  and  through  the  sky,  at 
something  far,  far  off;  and  as  she  did  so,  there  came 
such  a  quiet,  tender,  patient,  hopeful  smile  over  her 
face  that  Tom  thought  for  the  moment  that  she  did  not 
look  ugly  at  all.  And  no  more  she  did ;  for  she  was 
like  a  great  many  people  who  have  not  a  pretty 
feature  in  their  faces,  and  yet  are  lovely  to  behold, 
and  draw  little  children's  hearts  to  them  at  once ; 
because  though  the  house  is  plain  enough,  yet  from  the 
windows  a  beautiful  and  good  spirit  is  looking  forth. 

And  Tom  smiled  in  her  face,  she  looked  so  pleasant 


198  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

for  the  moment.  And  the  strange  fairy  smiled  too, 
and  said : 

"Yes.  You  thought  me  very  ugly  just  now,  did 
you  not  ? " 

Tom  hung  down  his  head,  and  got  very  red  about 
the  ears. 

"  And  I  am  very  ugly.  I  am  the  ugliest  fairy  in 
the  world ;  and  I  shall  be,  till  people  behave  them- 
selves as  they  ought  to  do.  And  then  I  shall  grow  as 
handsome  as  my  sister,  who  is  the  loveliest  fairy  in  the 
world ;  and  her  name  is  Mrs.  Doasyouwouldbedoneby. 
So  she  begins  where  I  end,  and  I  begin  where  she  ends; 
and  those  who  will  not  listen  to  her  must  listen  to  me, 
as  you  will  see.  Now,  all  of  you  run  away,  except 
Tom  ;  and  he  may  stay  and  see  what  I  am  going  to  do. 
It  will  be  a  very  good  warning  for  him  to  begin  with, 
before  he  goes  to  school. 

"Now,  Tom,  every  Friday  I  come  down  here  and 
call  up  all  who  have  ill-used  little  children  and  serve 
them  as  they  served  the  children." 

And  at  that  Tom  was  frightened,  and  crept  under  a 
stone ;  which  made  the  two  crabs  who  lived  there  very 
angry,  and  frightened  their  friend  the  butter-fish  into 
flapping  hysterics:  but  he  would  not  move  for  them. 

And  first  she  called  up  all  the  doctors  who  give 
little  children  so  much  physic  (they  were  most  of  them 
old  ones ;  for  the  young  ones  have  learnt  better,  all 
but  a  few  army  surgeons,  who  still  fancy  that  a  baby's 
inside  is  much  like  a  Scotch  grenadier's),  and  she  set 


V  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  199 

them  all  in  a  row ;  and  very  rueful  they  looked ;  for 
they  knew  what  was  coming. 

And  first  she  pulled  all  their  teeth  out ;  and  then 
she  bled  them  all  round :  and  then  she  dosed  them 
with  calomel,  and  jalap,  and  salts  and  senna,  and  brim- 
stone and  treacle ;  and  horrible  faces  they  made ;  and 
then  she  gave  them  a  great  emetic  of  mustard  and 
water,  and  no  basons ;  and  began  all  over  again ;  and 
that  was  the  way  she  spent  the  morning. 

And  then  she  called  up  a  whole  troop  of  foolish 
ladies,  who  pinch  up  their  children's  waists  and  toes ; 
and  she  laced  them  all  up  in  tight  stays,  so  that  they 
were  choked  and  sick,  and  their  noses  grew  red,  and 
their  hands  and  feet  swelled ;  and  then  she  crammed 
their  poor  feet  into  the  most  dreadfully  tight  boots,  and 
made  them  all  dance,  which  they  did  most  clumsily  in- 
deed ;  and  then  she  asked  them  how  they  liked  it ;  and 
when  they  said  not  at  all,  she  let  them  go  :  because  they 
had  only  done  it  out  of  foolish  fashion,  fancying  it  was 
for  their  children's  good,  as  if  wasps'  waists  and  pigs'  toes 
could  be  pretty,  or  wholesome,  or  of  any  use  to  anybody. 

Then  she  called  up  all  the  careless  nurserymaids, 
and  stuck  pins  into  them  all  over,  and  wheeled  them 
about  in  perambulators  with  tight  straps  across  their 
stomachs  and  their  heads  and  arms  hanging  over  the 
side,  till  they  were  quite  sick  and  stupid,  and  would 
have  had  sun-strokes :  but,  being  under  the  water, 
they  could  only  have  water-strokes ;  which,  I  assure 
you,  are  nearly  as  bad,  as  you  will  find  if  you  try  to 


200  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

sit  under  a  mill-wheel.  And  mind — when  you  hear 
a  rumbling  at  the  bottom  of  the  sea,  sailors  will  tell 
you  that  it  is  a  ground-swell :  but  now  you  know 
better.  It  is  the  old  lady  wheeling  the  maids  about 
in  perambulators. 

And  by  that  time  she  was  so  tired,  she  had  to  go 
to  luncheon. 

And  after  luncheon  she  set  to  work  again,  and 
called  up  all  the  cruel  schoolmasters — whole  regiments 
and  brigades  of  them ;  and  when  she  saw  them,  she 
frowned  most  terribly,  and  set  to  work  in  earnest,  as 
if  the  best  part  of  the  day's  work  was  to  come.  More 
than  half  of  them  were  nasty,  dirty,  frowzy,  grubby, 
smelly  old  monks,  who,  because  they  dare  not  hit  a 
man  of  their  own  size,  amused  themselves  with  beating 
little  children  instead ;  as  you  may  see  in  the  picture 
of  old  Pope  Gregory  (good  man  and  true  though  he 
was,  when  he  meddled  with  things  which  he  did 
understand),  teaching  children  to  sing  their  fa- fa- 
mi-fa  with  a  cat-o'-nine  tails  under  his  chair :  but, 
because  they  never  had  any  children  of  their  own, 
they  took  into  their  heads  (as  some  folks  do  still) 
that  they  were  the  only  people  in  the  world  who  knew 
how  to  manage  children :  and  they  first  brought  into 
England,  in  the  old  Anglo-Saxon  times,  the  fashion  of 
treating  free  boys,  and  girls  too,  worse  than  you  would 
treat  a  dog  or  a  horse :  but  Mrs.  Bedonebyasyoudid 
has  caught  them  all  long  ago ;  and  given  them  many  a 
taste  of  their  own  rods  ;  and  much  good  may  it  do  them. 


V  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  201 

And  she  boxed  their  ears,  and  thumped  them  over  the 
head  with  rulers,  and  pandied  their  hands  with  canes, 
and  told  them  that  they  told  stories,  and  were  this 
and  that  bad  sort  of  people ;  and  the  more  they  were 
very  indignant,  and  stood  upon  their  honour,  and 
declared  they  told  the  truth,  the  more  she  declared 
they  were  not,  and  that  they  were  only  telling  lies  ; 
and  at  last  she  birched  them  all  round  soundly  with 
her  great  birch-rod  and  set  them  each  an  imposition 
of  three  hundred  thousand  lines  of  Hebrew  to  learn 
by  heart  before  she  came  back  next  Friday.  And  at 
that  they  all  cried  and  howled  so,  that  their  breaths 
came  all  up  through  the  sea  like  bubbles  out  of  soda- 
water  ;  and  that  is  one  reason  of  the  bubbles  in  the 
sea.  There  are  others :  but  that  is  the  one  which 
principally  concerns  little  boys.  And  by  that  time 
she  was  so  tired  that  she  was  glad  to  stop ;  and, 
indeed,  she  had  done  a  very  good  day's  work. 

Tom  did  not  quite  dislike  the  old  lady :  but  he 
could  not  help  thinking  her  a  little  spiteful — and  no 
wonder  if  she  was,  poor  old  soul;  for  if  she  has  to 
wait  to  grow  handsome  till  people  do  as  they  would  be 
done  by,  she  will  have  to  wait  a  very  long  time. 

Poor  old  Mrs.  Bedonebyasyoudid !  she  has  a  great 
deal  of  hard  work  before  her,  and  had  better  have 
been  born  a  washerwoman,  and  stood  over  a  tub  all 
day :  but,  you  see,  people  cannot  always  choose  their 
own  profession. 

But  Tom  longed  to  ask  her  one  question ;  and  aftei 


202  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

all,  whenever  she  looked  at  him,  she  did  not  look  cross 
at  all ;  and  now  and  then  there  was  a  funny  smile  in 
her  face,  and  she  chuckled  to  herself  in  a  way  which 
gave  Tom  courage,  and  at  last  he  said : 

"  Pray,  ma'am,  may  I  ask  you  a  question  ? " 

"  Certainly,  my  little  dear." 

"  Why  don't  you  bring  all  the  had  masters  here  and 
serve  them  out  too  ?  The  butties  that  knock  about  the 
poor  collier-boys  ;  and  the  nailers  that  file  off  their  lads' 
noses  and  hammer  their  fingers ;  and  all  the  master 
sweeps,  like  my  master  Grimes  ?  I  saw  him  fall  into 
the  water  long  ago ;  so  I  surely  expected  he  would 
have  been  here.     I'm  sure  he  was  bad  enough  to  me." 

Then  the  old  lady  looked  so  very  stern  that  Tom 
was  quite  frightened,  and  sorry  that  he  had  been  so 
bold.  But  she  was  not  angry  with  him.  She  only 
answered,  "  I  look  after  them  all  the  week  round ;  and 
they  are  in  a  very  different  place  from  this,  because 
they  knew  that  they  were  doing  wrong. " 

She  spoke  very  quietly ;  but  there  was  something 
in  her  voice  which  made  Tom  tingle  from  head  to 
foot,  as  if  he  had  got  into  a  shoal  of  sea-nettles. 

"  But  these  people, "  she  went  on,  "  did  not  know 
that  they  were  doing  wrong  :  they  were  only  stupid  and 
impatient ;  and  therefore  I  only  punish  them  till  they 
become  patient,  and  learn  to  use  their  common  sense 
like  reasonable  beings.  But  as  for  chimney-sweeps, 
and  collier-boys,  and  nailer  lads,  my  sister  has  set 
good  people  to  stop  all  that  sort  of  thing ;    and  very 


v  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  203 

much  obliged  to  her  I  am ;  for  if  she  could  only  stop 
the  cruel  masters  from  ill-using  poor  children,  I  should 
grow  handsome  at  least  a  thousand  years  sooner.  And 
now  do  you  be  a  good  boy,  and  do  as  you  would  be  done 
by,  which  they  did  not ;  and  then,  when  my  sister, 
Madame  Doasyouwouldbedoneby,  comes  on  Sunday, 
perhaps  she  will  take  notice  of  you,  and  teach  you 
how  to  behave.  She  understands  that  better  than  I 
do.  "     And  so  she  went. 

Tom  was  very  glad  to  hear  that  there  was  no 
chance  of  meeting  Grimes  again,  though  he  was  a 
little  sorry  for  him,  considering  that  he  used  some- 
times to  give  him  the  leavings  of  the  beer :  but  he 
determined  to  be  a  very  good  boy  all  Saturday ;  and 
he  was ;  for  he  never  frightened  one  crab,  nor  tickled 
any  live  corals,  nor  put  stones  into  the  sea  anemones' 
mouths,  to  make  them  fancy  they  had  got  a  dinner ; 
and  when  Sunday  morning  came,  sure  enough,  Mrs. 
Doasyouwouldbedoneby  came  too.  "Whereat  all  the 
little  children  began  dancing  and  clapping  their  hands, 
and  Tom  danced  too  with  all  his  might. 

And  as  for  the  pretty  lady,  I  cannot  tell  you  what 
the  colour  of  her  hair  was,  or  of  her  eyes :  no  more 
could  Tom ;  for,  when  any  one  looks  at  her,  all  they 
can  think  of  is,  that  she  has  the  sweetest,  kindest, 
tenderest,  funniest,  merriest  face  they  ever  saw,  or 
want  to  see.  But  Tom  saw  that  she  was  a  very  tall 
woman,  as  tall  as  her  sister :  but  instead  of  being 
gnarly   and  horny,  and  scaly,  and  prickly,  like  her,  she 


204  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

was  the  most  nice,  soft,  fat,  smooth,  pussy,  cuddly, 
delicious  creature  who  ever  nursed  a  baby ;  and  she 
understood  babies  thoroughly,  for  she  had  plenty  of 
her  own,  whole  rows  and  regiments  of  them,  and  has 
to  this  day.  And  all  her  delight  was,  whenever  she 
had  a  spare  moment,  to  play  with  babies,  in  which  she 
showed  herself  a  woman  of  sense ;  for  babies  are  the 
best  company,  and  the  pleasantest  playfellows,  in  the 
world ;  at  least,  so  all  the  wise  people  in  the  world 
think.  And  therefore  when  the  children  saw  her, 
they  naturally  all  caught  hold  of  her,  and  pulled  her 
till  she  sat  down  on  a  stone,  and  climbed  into  her  lap, 
and  clung  round  her  neck,  and  caught  hold  of  her 
hands ;  and  then  they  all  put  their  thumbs  into  their 
mouths,  and  began  cuddling  and  purring  like  so  many 
kittens,  as  they  ought  to  have  done.  While  those 
who  could  get  nowhere  else  sat  down  on  the  sand,  and 
cuddled  her  feet — for  no  one,  you  know,  wear  shoes 
in  the  water,  except  horrid  old  bathing-women,  who 
are  afraid  of  the  water-babies  pinching  their  horny 
toes.  And  Tom  stood  staring  at  them ;  for  he  could 
not  understand  what  it  was  all  about. 

"  And  who  are  you,  you  little  darling  ? "  she  said. 

"  Oh,  that  is  the  new  baby  !  "  they  all  cried,  pulling 
their  thumbs  out  of  their  mouths ;  "  and  he  never  had 
any  mother, "  and  they  all  put  their  thumbs  back 
again,  for  they  did  not  wish  to  lose  any  time. 

"  Then  I  will  be  his  mother,  and  he  shall  have  the 
very  best  place  ;  so  get  out,  all  of  you,  this  moment." 


r  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  205 

And  she  took  up  two  great  armfuls  of  babies — 
nine  hundred  under  one  arm,  and  thirteen  hundred 
under  the  other — and  threw  them  away,  right  and 
left,  into  the  water.  But  they  minded  it  no  more 
than- the  naughty  boys  in  Struwelpeter  minded  when 
St.  Nicholas  dipped  them  in  his  inkstand ;  and  did  not 
even  take  their  thumbs  out  of  their  mouths,  but  came 
paddling  and  wriggling  back  to  her  like  so  many 
tadpoles,  till  you  could  see  nothing  of  her  from  head 
to  foot  for  the  swarm  of  little  babies. 

But  she  took  Tom  in  her  arms,  and  laid  him  in 
the  softest  place  of  all,  and  kissed  him,  and  patted 
him,  and  talked  to  him,  tenderly  and  low,  such  things 
as  he  had  never  heard  before  in  his  life ;  and  Tom 
looked  up  into  her  eyes,  and  loved  her,  and  loved,  till 
he  fell  fast  asleep  from  pure  love. 

And  when  he  woke  she  was  telling  the  children 
a  story.  And  what  story  did  she  tell  them  ?  One 
story  she  told  them,  which  begins  every  Christmas 
Eve,  and  yet  never  ends  at  all  for  ever  and  ever ;  and, 
as  she  went  on,  the  children  took  their  thumbs  out  of 
their  mouths  and  listened  quite  seriously ;  but  not 
sadly  at  all ;  for  she  never  told  them  anything  sad ; 
and  Tom  listened  too,  and  never  grew  tired  of 
listening.  And  he  listened  so  long  that  he  fell  fast 
asleep  again,  and,  when  he  woke,  the  lady  was 
nursing  him  still. 

"  Don't  go  away, "  said  little  Tom.  "  This  is  so 
nice.     I  never  had  any  one  to  cuddle  me  before. " 


206 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


"  Don't  go  away,"  said  all  the  children  ;  "  you  have 
not  sung  us  one  song." 

"  Well,  I  have  time  for  only  one.  So  what  shall 
it  he  ? " 

«  The  doll  you  lost !  The  doll  you  lost ! "  cried  all 
the  babies  at  once. 

So  the  strange  fairy  sang : — 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAKD-BABY 

/  once  had  a  sweet  little  doll,  dears, 

The  prettiest  doll  in  the  world ; 
Her  cheeks  were  so  red  and  so  white,  dears, 

And  her  hair  was  so  charmingly  curled. 
But  I  lost  my  poor  little  doll,  dears, 

As  I  played  in  the  heath  one  day ; 
And  I  cried  for  her  more  than  a  week,  dears, 

But  I  never  could  find  where  she  lay. 


207 


I  found  my  poor  little  doll,  dears, 

As  I  played  in  the  heath  one  day : 
Folks  say  she  is  terribly  changed,  dears, 

For  her  paint  is  all  washed  away, 
And  her  arm  trodden  off  by  the  cows,  dears, 

And  her  hair  not  the  least  bit  curled : 
Yet,  for  old  sokes'  sake  she  is  still,  dears, 

The  prettiest  doll  in  the  world. 


208 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP.  V 


What  a  silly  song  for  a  fairy  to  sing ! 

And  what  silly  water-babies  to  be  quite  delighted 
at  it! 

"Well,  but  you  see  they  have  not  the  advantage  of 
Aunt  Agitate's  Arguments  in  the  sea-land  down  below. 

"  Now,"  said  the  fairy  to  Tom,  "  will  you  be  a  good 
boy  for  my  sake,  and  torment  no  more  sea-beasts  till  I 
come  back  ?  " 

"  And  you  will  cuddle  me  again  ?  "  said  poor  little 
Tom. 

"  Of  course  I  will,  you  little  duck.  I  should  like 
to  take  you  with  me  and  cuddle  you  all  the  way,  only 
I  must  not ; "  and  away  she  went. 

So  Tom  really  tried  to  be  a  good  boy,  and  tormented 
no  sea-beasts  after  that  as  long  as  he  lived ;  and  he  is 
quite  alive,  I  assure  you,  still. 

Oh,  how  good  little  boys  ought  to  be  who  have 
kind  pussy  mammas  to  cuddle  them  and  tell  them 
stories ;  and  how  afraid  they  ought  to  be  of  growing 
naughty,  and  bringing  tears  into  their  mammas'  pretty 
eyes  ! 


"  Thou  little  child,  yet  glorious  in  the  night 
Of  heaven-born  freedom  on  thy  Being's  height, 
Why  with  such  earnest  pains  dost  thou  provoke 
The  Years  to  bring  the  inevitable  yoke — 
Thus  blindly  with  thy  blessedness  at  strife  ? 
Full  soon  thy  soul  shall  have  her  earthly  freight, 
And  custom  lie  upon  thee  with  a  weight 
Heavy  as  frost,  and  deep  almost  as  life." 

WOEDSWOKTH. 


CHAPTEE   VI 


EKE  I  come  to  the 
j|§ll  very  saddest  part 
^__  ^4"^^^  of  all  my  story. 
I  know  some  people  will 
Ul^  only  laugh  at  it,  and  call  it 
much  ado  about  nothing.  But 
I  know  one  man  who  would  not ; 
and  he  was  an  officer  with  a  pair 
of  gray  moustaches  as  long  as 
your  arm,  who  said  once  in  com- 
pany that  two  of  the  most  heart- 
rending sights  in  the  world,  which  moved  him  most 
to  tears,  which  he  would  do  anything  to  prevent  or 
remedy,  were  a  child  over  a  broken  toy  and  a  child 
stealing  sweets. 

The  company  did  not  laugh  at  him  ;  his  moustaches 
were  too  long  and  too  gray  for  that :  but,  after  he  was 


212  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

gone,  they  called  him  sentimental  and  so  forth,  all  but 
one  dear  little  old  Quaker  lady  with  a  soul  as  white  as 
her  cap,  who  was  not,  of  course,  generally  partial  to 
soldiers ;  and  she  said  very  quietly,  like  a  Quaker : 

"  Friends,  it  is  borne  upon  my  mind  that  that  is  a 
truly  brave  man." 

Now  you  may  fancy  that  Tom  was  quite  good, 
when  he  had  everything  that  he  could  want  or  wish: 
but  you  would  be  very  much  mistaken.  Being  quite 
comfortable  is  a  very  good  thing ;  but  it  does  not 
make  people  good.  Indeed,  it  sometimes  makes  them 
naughty,  as  it  has  made  the  people  in  America ;  and 
as  it  made  the  people  in  the  Bible,  who  waxed  fat  and 
kicked,  like  horses  overfed  and  underworked.  And 
I  am  very  sorry  to  say  that  this  happened  to  little 
Tom.  For  he  grew  so  fond  of  the  sea-bullseyes  and 
sea-lollipops  that  his  foolish  little  head  could  think  of 
nothing  else :  and  he  was  always  longing  for  more, 
and  wondering  when  the  strange  lady  would  come 
again  and  give  him  some,  and  what  she  would  give 
him,  and  how  much,  and  whether  she  would  give  him 
more  than  the  others.  And  he  thought  of  nothing  but 
lollipops  by  day,  and  dreamt  of  nothing  else  by  night 
— and  what  happened  then  ? 

That  he  began  to  watch  the  lady  to  see  where 
she  kept  the  sweet  things :  and  began  hiding,  and 
sneaking,  and  following  her  about,  and  pretending  to 
be  looking  the  other  way,  or  going  after  something 
else,   till    he    found    out    that    she    kept   them    in   a 


vi  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  213 

boautiful  mother-of-pearl  cabinet  away  in  a  deep 
crack  of  the  rocks. 

And  he  longed  to  go  to  the  cabinet,  and  yet  he  was 
afraid ;  and  then  lie  longed  again,  and  was  less  afraid ; 
and  at  last,  by  continual  thinking  about  it,  he  longed 
so  violently  that  he  was  not  afraid  at  all.  And  one 
night,  when  all  the  other  children  were  asleep,  and 
he  could  not  sleep  for  thinking  of  lollipops,  he  crept 
away  among  the  rocks,  and  got  to  the  cabinet,  and 
behold  !  it  was  open. 

But,  when  he  saw  all  the  nice  things  inside,  instead 
of  being  delighted,  he  was  quite  frightened,  and  wished 
he  had  never  come  there.  And  then  he  would  only 
touch  them,  and  he  did ;  and  then  he  would  only  taste 
one,  and  he  did ;  and  then  he  would  only  eat  one,  and 
he  did ;  and  then  he  would  only  eat  two,  and  then 
three,  and  so  on ;  and  then  he  was  terrified  lest  she 
should  come  and  catch  him,  and  began  gobbling  them 
down  so  fast  that  he  did  not  taste  them,  or  have  any 
pleasure  in  them ;  and  then  he  felt  sick,  and  would 
have  only  one  more ;  and  then  only  one  more  again ; 
and  so  on  till  he  had  eaten  them  all  up. 

And  all  the  while,  close  behind  him,  stood  Mrs. 
Bedonebyasyoudid. 

Some  people  may  say,  But  why  did  she  not  keep 
her  cupboard  locked  ?  Well,  I  know. — It  may  seem 
a  very  strange  thing,  but  she  never  does  keep  her  cup- 
board locked ;  every  one  may  go  and  taste  for  them- 
selves, and  fare  accordingly.      It  is  very  odd,  but  so  it 


214  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

is ;  and  I  am  quite  sure  that  she  knows  best.  Per- 
haps she  wishes  people  to  keep  their  fingers  out  of  the 
fire,  by  having  them  burned. 

She  took  off  her  spectacles,  because  she  did  not 
like  to  see  too  much ;  and  in  her  pity  she  arched  up 
her  eyebrows  into  her  very  hair,  and  her  eyes  grew  so 
wide  that  they  would  have  taken  in  all  the  sorrows  of 
the  world,  and  filled  with  great  big  tears,  as  they  too 
often  do. 

But  all  she  said  was : 

"  Ah,  you  poor  little  dear  !  you  are  just  like  all  the 
rest." 

But  she  said  it  to  herself,  and  Tom  neither  heard 
nor  saw  her.  Now,  you  must  not  fancy  that  she  was 
sentimental  at  all.  If  you  do,  and  think  that  she  is 
going  to  let  off  you,  or  me,  or  any  human  being  when 
we  do  wrong,  because  she  is  too  tender-hearted  to 
punish  us,  then  you  will  find  yourself  very  much  mis- 
taken, as  many  a  man  does  every  year  and  every  day. 

But  what  did  the  strange  fairy  do  when  she  saw  all 
her  lollipops  eaten  ? 

Did  she  fly  at  Tom,  catch  him  by  the  scruff  of  tho 
neck,  hold  him,  howk  him,  hump  him,  hurry  him,  hit 
him,  poke  him,  pull  him,  pinch  him,  pound  him,  put 
him  in  the  corner,  shake  him,  slap  him,  set  him  on  a 
cold  stone  to  reconsider  himself,  and  so  forth  ? 

Not  a  bit.  You  may  watch  her  at  work  if  you 
know  where  to  find  her.  But  you  will  never  see  her 
do  that.      For,  if  she  had,  she  knew  quite  well  Tom 


vi  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  215 

would  have  fought,  and  kicked,  and  bit,  and  said  bad 
words,  and  turned  again  that  moment  into  a  naughty 
little  heathen  chimney-sweep,  with  his  hand,  like 
Ishmael's  of  old,  against  every  man,  and  every  man's 
hand  against  him. 

Did  she  question  him,  hurry  him,  frighten  him, 
threaten  him,  to  make  him  confess  ?  Not  a  bit.  You 
may  see  her,  as  I  said,  at  her  work  often  enough  if  you 
know  where  to  look  for  her :  but  you  will  never  see 
her  do  that.  For,  if  she  had,  she  would  have  tempted 
him  to  tell  lies  in  his  fright ;  and  that  would  have 
been  worse  for  him,  if  possible,  than  even  becoming  a 
heathen  chimney-sweep  again. 

No.  She  leaves  that  for  anxious  parents  and 
teachers  (lazy  ones,  some  call  them),  who,  instead  of 
giving  children  a  fair  trial,  such  as  they  would  expect 
and  demand  for  themselves,  force  them  by  fright  to 
confess  their  own  faults — which  is  so  cruel  and  unfair 
that  no  judge  on  the  bench  dare  do  it  to  the  wickedest 
thief  or  murderer,  for  the  good  British  law  forbids  it — 
ay,  and  even  punish  them  to  make  them  confess,  which 
is  so  detestable  a  crime  that  it  is  never  committed  now, 
save  by  Inquisitors,  and  Kings  of  Naples,  and  a  few 
other  wretched  people  of  whom  the  world  is  weary. 
And  then  they  say,  "  We  have  trained  up  the  child  in 
the  way  he  should  go,  and  when  he  grew  up  he  has 
departed  from  it.  Why  then  did  Solomon  say  that  he 
would  not  depart  from  it  ? "  But  perhaps  the  way  of 
beating,  and  hurrying,  and  frightening,  and  questioning, 


216  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

was  not  the  way  that  the  child  should  go ;  for  it  is 
not  even  the  way  in  which  a  colt  should  go  if  you 
want  to  break  it  in  and  make  it  a  quiet  serviceable 
horse. 

Some  folks  may  say,  "  Ah  !  but  the  Fairy  does  not 
need  to  do  that  if  she  knows  everything  already." 
True.  But,  if  she  did  not  know,  she  would  not  surely 
behave  worse  than  a  British  judge  and  jury ;  and  no 
more  should  parents  and  teachers  either. 

So  she  just  said  nothing  at  all  about  the  matter, 
not  even  when  Tom  came  next  day  with  the  rest  for 
sweet  things.  He  was  horribly  afraid  of  coming :  but 
he  was  still  more  afraid  of  staying  away,  lest  any  one 
should  suspect  him.  He  was  dreadfully  afraid,  too, 
lest  there  should  be  no  sweets — as  was  to  be  expected, 
he  having  eaten  them  all — and  lest  then  the  fairy 
should  inquire  who  had  taken  them.  But,  behold ! 
she  pulled  out  just  as  many  as  ever,  which  astonished 
Tom,  and  frightened  him  still  more. 

And,  when  the  fairy  looked  him  full  in  the  face,  he 
shook  from  head  to  foot :  however  she  gave  him  his 
share  like  the  rest,  and  he  thought  within  himself  that 
she  could  not  have  found  him  out. 

But,  when  he  put  the  sweets  into  his  mouth,  he 
hated  the  taste  of  them ;  and  they  made  him  so  sick 
that  he  had  to  get  away  as  fast  as  he  could ;  and 
terribly  sick  he  was,  and  very  cross  and  unhappy,  all 
the  week  after. 

Then,  when  next  week  came,  he  had  his  share  again ; 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


217 


and  again  the  fairy  looked  him  full  in  the  face ;  but 
more  sadly  than  she  had  ever  looked.  And  he  could 
not  bear  the  sweets :  but  took  them  again  in  spite  of 
himself. 

And  when  Mrs.  Doasyouwouldbedoneby  came,  he 
wanted  to  be  cuddled  like 
the   rest;    but   she   said 
very  seriously : 

"  I  should  like  to  cuddle 
you;  but  I  cannot,  you 
are  so  horny  and  prickly." 

And  Tom  looked  at 
himself :  and  he  was  all 
over  prickles,  just  like  a 
sea-egg. 

Which  was  quite  nat- 
ural ;  for  you  must  know 
and  believe  that  people's 
souls  make  their  bodies 
just  as  a  snail  makes  its 
shell  (I  am  not  joking, 
my  little  man ;  I  am  in 
serious,  solemn  earnest). 
And  therefore,  when 
Tom's  soul  grew  all  prickly  with  naughty  tempers,  his 
body  could  not  help  growing  prickly  too,  so  that  nobody 
would  cuddle  him,  or  play  with  him,  or  even  like  to 
look  at  him. 

What  could  Tom  do  now  but  go  away  and  hide  in 


218  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

a  corner  and  cry  ?  For  nobody  would  play  with  him, 
and  he  knew  full  well  why. 

And  he  was  so  miserable  all  that  week  that  when 
the  ugly  fairy  came  and  looked  at  him  once  more  full 
in  the  face,  more  seriously  and  sadly  than  ever,  he 
could  stand  it  no  longer,  and  thrust  the  sweetmeats 
away,  saying,  "  No,  I  don't  want  any :  I  can't  bear 
them  now,"  and  then  burst  out  crying,  poor  little 
man,  and  told  Mrs.  Bedonebyasyoudid  every  word  as 
it  happened. 

He  was  horribly  frightened  when  he  had  done  so ; 
for  he  expected  her  to  punish  him  very  severely.  But, 
instead,  she  only  took  him  up  and  kissed  him,  which 
was  not  quite  pleasant,  for  her  chin  was  very  bristly 
indeed ;  but  he  was  so  lonely-hearted,  he  thought  that 
rough  kissing  was  better  than  none. 

"  I  will  forgive  you,  little  man,"  she  said.  "  I 
always  forgive  every  one  the  moment  they  tell  me  the 
truth  of  their  own  accord." 

"  Then  you  will  take  away  all  these  nasty  prickles  ?" 

"  That  is  a  very  different  matter.  You  put  them 
there  yourself,  and  only  you  can  take  them  away." 

"  But  how  can  I  do  that  ? "  asked  Tom,  crying 
afresh. 

"  Well,  I  think  it  is  time  for  you  to  go  to  school ; 
so  I  shall  fetch  you  a  schoolmistress,  who  will  teach 
you  how  to  get  rid  of  your  prickles."  And  so  she  went 
away. 

Tom   was   frightened   at   the   notion   of   a   school- 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


219 


mistress  ;  for  he  thought  she  would  certainly  come  with 
a  birch-rod  or  a  cane;  but  he  comforted  himself,  at 
last,  that  she  might  be  something  like  the  old  woman 
in  Vendale — which  she  was  not  in  the  least ;  for, 
when  the  fairy  brought  her,  she  was  the  most  beautiful 
little  girl  that  ever  was  seen,  with  long  curls  floating 


behind  her  like  a  golden  cloud,  and  long  robes  floating 
all  round  her  like  a  silver  one. 

"  There  he  is,"  said  the  fairy  ;  "  and  you  must  teach 
him  to  be  good,  whether  you  like  or  not." 

"  I  know,"  said  the  little  girl ;  but  she  did  not  seem 
Quite  to  like,  for  she  put  her  finger  in  her  mouth,  and 


220  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

looked  at  Tom  under  her  brows ;  and  Tom  put  his 
finger  in  his  mouth,  and  looked  at  her  under  his  brows, 
for  he  was  horribly  ashamed  of  himself. 

The  little  girl  seemed  hardly  to  know  how  to  begin ; 
and  perhaps  she  would  never  have  begun  at  all  if  poor 
Tom  had  not  burst  out  crying,  and  begged  her  to  teach 
him  to  be  good  and  help  him  to  cure  his  prickles ;  and  at 
that  she  grew  so  tender-hearted  that  she  began  teaching 
him  as  prettily  as  ever  child  was  taught  in  the  world. 

And  what  did  the  little  girl  teach  Tom  ?  She 
taught  him,  first,  what  you  have  been  taught  ever  since 
you  said  your  first  prayers  at  your  mother's  knees  ;  but 
she  taught  him  much  more  simply.  Tor  the  lessons  in 
that  world,  my  child,  have  no  such  hard  words  in  them 
as  the  lessons  in  this,  and  therefore  the  water-babies 
like  them  better  than  you  like  your  lessons,  and  long 
to  learn  them  more  and  more ;  and  grown  men  cannot 
puzzle  nor  quarrel  over  their  meaning,  as  they  do  here 
on  land ;  for  those  lessons  all  rise  clear  and  pure,  like 
the  Test  out  of  Overton  Pool,  out  of  the  everlasting 
ground  of  all  life  and  truth. 

So  she  taught  Tom  every  day  in  the  week ;  only 
on  Sundays  she  always  went  away  home,  and  the  kind 
fairy  took  her  place.  And  before  she  had  taught  Tom 
many  Sundays,  his  prickles  had  vanished  quite  away, 
and  his  skin  was  smooth  and  clean  again. 

"  Dear  me ! "  said  the  little  girl ;  "  why,  I  know 
you  now.  You  are  the  very  same  little  chimney 
sweep  who  came  into  my  bedroom." 


vi  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  221 

"  Dear  me  !  "  cried  Tom.  "  And  I  know  you,  too, 
now.  You  are  the  very  little  white  lady  whom  I  saw 
in  bed."  And  he  jumped  at  her,  and  longed  to  hug 
and  kiss  her;  but  did  not,  remembering  that  she  was 
a  lady  born ;  so  he  only  jumped  round  and  round  her 
till  he  was  quite  tired. 

And  then  they  began  telling  each  other  all  their 
story — how  he  had  got  into  the  water,  and  she  had 
fallen  over  the  rock;  and  how  he  had  swum  down  to 
the  sea,  and  how  she  had  flown  out  of  the  window; 
and  how  this,  that,  and  the  other,  till  it  was  all  talked 
out :  and  then  they  both  began  over  again,  and  I  can't 
say  which  of  the  two  talked  fastest. 

And  then  they  set  to  work  at  their  lessons  again, 
and  both  liked  them  so  well  that  they  went  on  well 
till  seven  full  years  were  past  and  gone. 

You  may  fancy  that  Tom  was  quite  content  and 
happy  all  those  seven  years ;  but  the  truth  is,  he  was 
not.  He  had  always  one  thing  on  his  mind,  and  that 
was — where  little  Ellie  went,  when  she  went  home  on 
Sundays. 

To  a  very  beautiful  place,  she  said. 

But  what  was  the  beautiful  place  like,  and  where 
was  it  ? 

Ah  !  that  is  just  what  she  could  not  say.  And  it 
is  strange,  but  true,  that  no  one  can  say ;  and  that 
those  who  have  been  oftenest  in  it,  or  even  nearest  to 
it,  can  say  least  about  it,  and  make  people  understand 
least  what  it  is  like.      There  are  a  good  many  folks 


222  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

about  the  Other -end -of- Nowhere  (where  Tom  went 
afterwards),  who  pretend  to  know  it  from  north  to 
south  as  well  as  if  they  had  been  penny  postmen 
there ;  but,  as  they  are  safe  at  the  Other-end-of- 
Nowhere,  nine  hundred  and  ninety-nine  million  miles 
away,  what  they  say  cannot  concern  us. 

But  the  dear,  sweet,  loving,  wise,  good,  self- 
sacrificing  people,  who  really  go  there,  can  never  tell 
you  anything  about  it,  save  that  it  is  the  most 
beautiful  place  in  all  the  world ;  and,  if  you  ask  them 
more,  they  grow  modest,  and  hold  their  peace,  for  fear 
of  being  laughed  at ;  and  quite  right  they  are. 

So  all  that  good  little  Ellie  could  say  was,  that 
it  was  worth  all  the  rest  of  the  world  put  together. 
And  of  course  that  only  made  Tom  the  more  anxious 
to  go  likewise. 

"  Miss  Ellie,"  he  said  at  last,  "  I  will  know  why  I 
cannot  go  with  you  when  you  go  home  on  Sundays,  or 
I  shall  have  no  peace,  and  give  you  none  either." 

"  You  must  ask  the  fairies  that." 

So  when  the  fairy,  Mrs.  Bedonebyasyoudid,  came 
next,  Tom  asked  her. 

"Little  boys  who  are  only  fit  to  play  with  sea- 
beasts  cannot  go  there, "  she  said.  "  Those  who  go 
there  musF  go  first  where  they  do  not  like,  and  do 
what  they  do  not  like,  and  help  somebody  they  do  not 
like." 

"  Why,  did  Ellie  do  that  ? " 

"  Ask  her." 


vi  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  223 

And  Ellie  blushed,  and  said,  "  Yes,  Tom  ,  I  did  not 
like  coming  here  at  first ;  I  was  so  much  happier  at 
home,  where  it  is  always  Sunday.  And  I  was  afraid 
of  you,  Tom,  at  first,  because — because " 

"  Because  I  was  all  over  prickles  ?  But  I  am  not 
prickly  now,  am  I,  Miss  Ellie  ? " 

"  ~No"  said  Ellie.  "  I  like  you  very  much  now ; 
and  I  like  coming  here,  too." 

"  And  perhaps,"  said  the  fairy,  "  you  will  learn  to 
like  going  where  you  don't  like,  and  helping  some  one 
that  you  don't  like,  as  Ellie  has." 

But  Tom  put  his  finger  in  his  mouth,  and  hung 
his  head  down ;  for  he  did  not  see  that  at  all. 

So  when  Mrs.  Doasyouwouldbedoneby  came,  Tom 
asked  her ;  for  he  thought  in  his  little  head,  She  is 
not  so  strict  as  her  sister,  and  perhaps  she  may  let  me 
off  more  easily. 

Ah,  Tom,  Tom,  silly  fellow !  and  yet  I  don't  know 
why  I  should  blame  you,  while  so  many  grown  people 
have  got  the  very  same  notion  in  their  heads. 

But,  when  they  try  it,  they  get  just  the  same 
answer  as  Tom  did.  Eor,  when  he  asked  the  second 
fairy,  she  told  him  just  what  the  first  did,  and  in  the 
very  same  words. 

Tom  was  very  unhappy  at  that.  And,  when  Ellie 
went  home  on  Sunday,  he  fretted  and  cried  all  day, 
and  did  not  care  to  listen  to  the  fairy's  stories  about 
good  children,  though  they  were  prettier  than  ever. 
Indeed,  the  more  he  overheard  of  them,  the  less  he 


224  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

liked  to  listen,  because  they  were  all  about  children 
who  did  what  they  did  not  like,  and  took  trouble  for 
other  people,  and  worked  to  feed  their  little  brothers 
and  sisters  instead  of  caring  only  for  their  play.  And, 
when  she  began  to  tell  a  story  about  a  holy  child  in 
old  times,  who  was  martyred  by  the  heathen  because 
it  would  not  worship  idols,  Tom  could  bear  no  more, 
and  ran  away  and  hid  among  the  rocks. 

And,  when  Ellie  came  back,  he  was  shy  with  her, 
because  he  fancied  she  looked  down  on  him,  and 
thought  him  a  coward.  -And  then  he  grew  quite 
cross  with  her,  because  she  was  superior  to  him,  and 
did  what  he  could  not  do.  And  poor  Ellie  was  quite 
surprised  and  sad ;  and  at  last  Tom  burst  out  crying  : 
but  he  would  not  tell  her  what  was  really  in  his  mind. 

And  all  the  while  he  was  eaten  up  with  curiosity 
to  know  where  Ellie  went  to ;  so  that  he  began  not  to 
care  for  his  playmates,  or  for  the  sea-palace  or  any- 
thing else.  But  perhaps  that  made  matters  all  the 
easier  for  him;  for  he  grew  so  discontented  with 
everything  round  him  that  he  did  not  care  to  stay, 
and  did  not  care  where  he  went. 

"  Well,"  he  said,  at  last,  "  I  am  so  miserable  here, 
I'll  go  ;  if  only  you  will  go  with  me  ? " 

"  Ah  ! "  said  Ellie,  "  I  wish  I  might ;  but  the  worst 
of  it  is,  that  the  fairy  says  that  you  must  go  alone  if 
you  go  at  all.  Now  don't  poke  that  poor  crab  about, 
Tom "  (for  he  was  feeling  very  naughty  and  mis- 
chievous), "  or  the  fairy  will  have  to  punish  you." 


vi  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  225 

Tom  was  very  nearly  saying,  "  I  don't  care  if  she 
does  ; "  but  he  stopped  himself  in  time. 

"I  know  what  she  wants  me  to  do,"  he  said, 
whining  most  dolefully.  "  She  wants  me  to  go  after 
that  horrid  old  Grimes.  I  don't  like  him,  that's  certain. 
And  if  I  find  him,  he  will  turn  me  into  a  chimney- 
sweep again,  I  know.  That's  what  I  have  been  afraid 
of  all  along." 

"  No,  he  won't — I  know  as  much  as  that.  Nobody 
can  turn  water-babies  into  sweeps,  or  hurt  them  at  all, 
as  long  as  they  are  good." 

"  Ah,"  said  naughty  Tom,  "  I  see  what  you  want ; 
you  are  persuading  me  all  along  to  go,  because  you 
are  tired  of  me,  and  want  to  get  rid  of  me." 

Little  Ellie  opened  her  eyes  very  wide  at  that,  and 
they  were  all  brimming  over  with  tears. 

"  Oh,  Tom,  Tom  ! "  she  said,  very  mournfully — and 
then  she  cried,  "  Oh,  Tom  !  where  are  you  ? " 

And  Tom  cried,  "  Oh,  Ellie,  where  are  you  ? " 

For  neither  of  them  could  see  each  other — not 
the  least.  Little  Ellie  vanished  quite  away,  and  Tom 
heard  her  voice  calling  him,  and  growing  smaller  and 
smaller,  and  fainter  and  fainter,  till  all  was  silent. 

Who  was  frightened  then  but  Tom  ?  He  swam 
up  and  down  among  the  rocks,  into  all  the  halls  and 
chambers,  faster  than  ever  he  swam  before,  but  could 
not  find  her.  He  shouted  after  her,  but  she  did  not 
answer ;  he  asked  all  the  other  children,  but  they  had 
not  seen  her ;  and  at  last  he  went  up  to  the  top  of  the 


226 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


"water  and  began  crying  and  screaming  for  Mrs. 
Bedonebyasyoudid — which  perhaps  was  the  best  thing 
to  do — for  she  came  in  a  moment. 

"Oh!"  said  Tom.      "Oh  dear,  oh  dear!     I   have 

been  naughty  to  Ellie, 
and  I  have  killed  her 
— I  know  I  have 
killed  her." 

"Not  quite  that," 
said  the  fairy ;  "  but 
I  have  sent  her  away 
home,  and  she  will 
not  come  back  again 
for  I  do  not  know 
how  long." 

And  at  that  Tom 
cried  so  bitterly  that 
the  salt  sea  was 
swelled  with  his  tears, 
and  the  tide  was 
•3,954,620,819  of  an 
inch  higher  than  it 
had  been  the  day  be- 
fore :  but  perhaps  that  was  owing  to  the  waxing  of 
the  moon.  It  may  have  been  so  ;  but  it  is  considered 
right  in  the  new  philosophy,  you  know,  to  give  spiritual 
causes  for  physical  phenomena — especially  in  parlour- 
tables  ;  and,  of  course,  physical  causes  for  spiritual 
ones,  like  thinking,   and   praying,   and  knowing  right 


vi  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  227 

from  wrong.  And  so  they  odds  it  till  it  comes  even, 
as  folks  say  down  in  Berkshire. 

"  How  cruel  of  you  to  send  Ellie  away  ! "  sobbed 
Tom.  "  However,  I  will  find  her  again,  if  I  go  to  the 
world's  end  to  look  for  her." 

The  fairy  did  not  slap  Tom,  and  tell  him  to  hold 
his  tongue :  but  she  took  him  on  her  lap  very  kindly, 
just  as  her  sister  would  have  done ;  and  put  him  in 
mind  how  it  was  not  her  fault,  because  she  was  wound 
up  inside,  like  watches,  and  could  not  help  doing 
things  whether  she  liked  or  not.  And  then  she  told 
him  how  he  had  been  in  the  nursery  long  enough,  and 
must  go  out  now  and  see  the  world,  if  he  intended 
ever  to  be  a  man ;  and  how  he  must  go  all  alone  by 
himself,  as  every  one  else  that  ever  was  born  has  to 
go,  and  see  with  his  own  eyes,  and  smell  with  his  own 
nose,  and  make  his  own  bed  and  lie  on  it,  and  burn 
his  own  fingers  if  he  put  them  into  the  fire.  And 
then  she  told  him  how  many  fine  things  there  were 
to  be  seen  in  the  world,  and  what  an  odd,  curious, 
pleasant,  orderly,  respectable,  well-managed,  and,  on 
the  whole,  successful  (as,  indeed,  might  have  been 
expected)  sort  of  a  place  it  was,  if  people  would  only 
be  tolerably  brave  and  honest  and  good  in  it ;  and 
then  she  told  him  not  to  be  afraid  of  anything  he  met, 
for  nothing  would  harm  him  if  he  remembered  all 
his  lessons,  and  did  what  he  knew  was  right.  And  at 
last  she  comforted  poor  little  Tom  so  much  that  he 
was  quite  eager   to   go,  and  wanted   to   set   out   that 


228  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

minute.  "  Only,"  he  said,  "  if  I  might  see  Ellie  once 
before  I  went ! " 

"  Why  do  you  want  that  ?  " 

"  Because — because  I  should  be  so  much  happier  if 
I  thought  she  had  forgiven  me." 

And  in  the  twinkling  of  an  eye  there  stood  Ellie, 
smiling,  and  looking  so  happy  that  Tom  longed  to  kiss 
her ;  but  was  still  afraid  it  would  not  be  respectful, 
because  she  was  a  lady  born. 

"  I  am  going,  Ellie  !  "  said  Tom.  "  I  am  going,  if 
it  is  to  the  world's  end.  But  I  don't  like  going  at  all, 
and  that's  the  truth." 

"  Pooh  !  pooh  !  pooh  ! "  said  the  fairy.  "  You  will 
like  it  very  well  indeed,  you  little  rogue,  and  you 
know  that  at  the  bottom  of  your  heart.  But  if  you 
don't,  I  will  make  you  like  it.  Come  here,  and  see 
what  happens  to  people  who  do  only  what  is  pleasant." 

And  she  took  out  of  one  of  her  cupboards  (she  had 
all  sorts  of  mysterious  cupboards  in  the  cracks  of  the 
rocks)  the  most  wonderful  waterproof  book,  full  of 
such  photographs  as  never  were  seen.  For  she  had 
found  out  photography  (and  this  is  a  fact)  more  than 
13,598,000  years  before  anybody  was  born;  and, 
what  is  more,  her  photographs  did  not  merely 
represent  light  and  shade,  as  ours  do,  but  colour  also, 
and  all  colours,  as  you  may  see  if  you  look  at  a  black- 
cock's tail,  or  a  butterfly's  wing,  or  indeed  most  things 
that  are  or  can  be,  so  to  speak.  And  therefore  her 
photographs  were  very  curious  and  famous,  and   the 


vi  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  229 

children  looked  with  great  delight  for  the  opening  of 
the  book. 

And  on  the  title-page  was  written,  "  The  History 
of  the  great  and  famous  nation  of  the  Doasyoulikes, 
who  came  away  from  the  country  of  Hardwork, 
because  they  wanted  to  play  on  the  Jews'  harp  all 
day  long." 

In  the  first  picture  they  saw  these  Doasyoulikes 
living  in  the  land  of  Eeadymade,  at  the  foot  of  the 
Happy-go-lucky  Mountains,  where  flapdoodle  grows 
wild ;  and  if  you  want  to  know  what  that  is,  you 
must  read  Peter  Simple. 

They  lived  very  much  such  a  life  as  those  jolly  old 
Greeks  in  Sicily,  whom  you  may  see  painted  on  the 
ancient  vases,  and  really  there  seemed  to  be  great 
excuses  for  them,  for  they  had  no  need  to  work. 

Instead  of  houses  they  lived  in  the  beautiful  caves 
of  tufa,  and  bathed  in  the  warm  springs  three  times 
a  day ;  and,  as  for  clothes,  it  was  so  warm  there  that 
the  gentlemen  walked  about  in  little  beside  a  cocked 
hat  and  a  pair  of  straps,  or  some  light  summer  tackle 
of  that  kind ;  and  the  ladies  all  gathered  gossamer  in 
autumn  (when  they  were  not  too  lazy)  to  make  their 
winter  dresses. 

They  were  very  fond  of  music,  but  it  was  too 
much  trouble  to  learn  the  piano  or  the  violin ;  and  as 
for  dancing,  that  would  have  been  too  great  an 
exertion.  So  they  sat  on  ant-hills  all  day  long,  and 
played  on  the  Jews'  harp ;  and,  if  the  ants  bit  them, 


chap,  vi         A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  231 

why  they  just  got  up  and  went  to  the  next  ant-hill, 
till  they  were  bitten  there  likewise. 

And  they  sat  under  the  flapdoodle-trees,  and  let 
the  flapdoodle  drop  into  their  mouths ;  and  under  the 
vines,  and  squeezed  the  grape-juice  down  their  throats  ! 
and,  if  any  little  pigs  ran  about  ready  roasted,  crying, 
"  Come  and  eat  me,"  as  was  their  fashion  in  that 
country,  they  waited  till  the  pigs  ran  against  their 
mouths,  and  then  took  a  bite,  and  were  content,  just 
as  so  many  oysters  would  have  been. 

They  needed  no  weapons,  for  no  enemies  ever 
came  near  their  land ;  and  no  tools,  for  everything 
was  readymade  to  their  hand ;  and  the  stern  old  fairy 
Necessity  never  came  near  them  to  hunt  them  up,  and 
make  them  use  their  wits,  or  die. 

And  so  on,  and  so  on,  and  so  on,  till  there  were 
never  such  comfortable,  easy-going,  happy-go-lucky 
people  in  the  world. 

"  Well,  that  is  a  jolly  life,"  said  Tom. 

"  You  think  so  ?  "  said  the  fairy.  "  Do  you  see 
that  great  peaked  mountain  there  behind,"  said  the 
fairy,  "  with  smoke  coming  out  of  its  top  ? " 

"  Yes." 

"And  do  you  see  all  those  ashes,  and  slag,  and 
cinders  lying  about  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  Then  turn  over  the  next  five  hundred  years,  and 
you  will  see  what  happens  next." 

And  behold  the  mountain  had   blown   up   like   a 


232  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

barrel  of  gunpowder,  and  then  boiled  over  like  a 
kettle ;  whereby  one-third  of  the  Doasyoulikes  were 
blown  into  the  air,  and  another  third  were  smothered 
in  ashes ;  so  that  there  was  only  one-third  left. 

"You  see,"  said  the  fairy,  "what  comes  of  living 
on  a  burning  mountain." 

"  Oh,  why  did  you  not  warn  them  ? "  said  little 
EUie. 

"  I  did  warn  them  all  that  I  could.  I  let  the 
smoke  come  out  of  the  mountain ;  and  wherever  there 
is  smoke  there  is  fire.  And  I  laid  the  ashes  and 
cinders  all  about ;  and  wherever  there  are  cinders, 
cinders  may  be  again.  But  they  did  not  like  to  face 
facts,  my  dears,  as  very  few  people  do ;  and  so  they 
invented  a  cock-and-bull  story,  which,  I  am  sure,  I 
never  told  them,  that  the  smoke  was  the  breath  of  a 
giant,  whom  some  gods  or  other  had  buried  under  the 
mountain ;  and  that  the  cinders  were  what  the  dwarfs 
roasted  the  little  pigs  whole  with ;  and  other  nonsense 
of  that  kind.  And,  when  folks  are  in  that  humour,  I 
cannot  teach  them,  save  by  the  good  old  birch-rod." 

And  then  she  turned  over  the  next  five  hundred 
years  :  and  there  were  the  remnant  of  the  Doasyoulikes, 
doing  as  they  liked,  as  before.  They  were  too  lazy  to 
move  away  from  the  mountain ;  so  they  said,  If  it  has 
blown  up  once,  that  is  all  the  more  reason  that  it 
should  not  blow  up  again.  And  they  were  few  in 
number :  but  they  only  said,  The  more  the  merrier, 
but  the  fewer  the  better  fare.      However,  that  was  not 


vi  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  233 

quite  true ;  for  all  the  flapdoodle-trees  were  killed  by 
the  volcano,  and  they  had  eaten  all  the  roast  pigs, 
who,  of  course,  could  not  be  expected  to  have  little 
ones.  So  they  had  to  live  very  hard,  on  nuts  and 
roots  which  they  scratched  out  of  the  ground  with 
sticks.  Some  of  them  talked  of  sowing  corn,  as  their 
ancestors  used  to  do,  before  they  came  into  the  land 
of  Eeadymade  ;  but  they  had  forgotten  how  to  make 
ploughs  (they  had  forgotten  even  how  to  make  Jews' 
harps  by  this  time),  and  had  eaten  all  the  seed-corn 
which  they  brought  out  of  the  land  of  Hardwork  years 
since ;  and  of  course  it  was  too  much  trouble  to  go 
away  and  find  more.  So  they  lived  miserably  on 
roots  and  nuts,  and  all  the  weakly  little  children  had 
great  stomachs,  and  then  died. 

"Why,"  said  Tom,  "they  are  growing  no  better 
than  savages." 

"And  look  how  ugly  they  are  all  getting,"  said 
EUie. 

"  Yes  ;  when  people  live  on  poor  vegetables  instead 
of  roast  beef  and  plum-pudding,  their  jaws  grow  large, 
and  their  lips  grow  coarse,  like  the  poor  Paddies  who 
eat  potatoes." 

And  she  turned  over  the  next  five  hundred  years. 
And  there  they  were  all  living  up  in  trees,  and 
making  nests  to  keep  off  the  rain.  And  underneath 
the  trees  lions  were  prowling  about. 

"  Why,"  said  Ellie,  "  the  lions  seem  to  have  eaten  a 
good  many  of  them,  for  there  are  very  few  left  now." 


234  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

"  Yes,"  said  the  fairy ;  "  you  see  it  was  only  the 
strongest  and  most  active  ones  who  could  climb  the 
trees,  and  so  escape." 

"But  what  great,  hulking,  broad-shouldered  chaps 
they  are,"  said  Tom ;  "  they  are  a  rough  lot  as  ever  I  saw." 

"  Yes,  they  are  getting  very  strong  now ;  for  the 
ladies  will  not  marry  any  but  the  very  strongest  and 
fiercest  gentlemen,  who  can  help  them  up  the  trees 
out  of  the  lions'  way." 

And  she  turned  over  the  next  five  hundred  years. 
And  in  that  they  were  fewer  still,  and  stronger,  and 
fiercer ;  but  their  feet  had  changed  shape  very  oddly, 
for  they  laid  hold  of  the  branches  with  their  great  toes, 
as  if  they  had  been  thumbs,  just  as  a  Hindoo  tailor 
uses  his  toes  to  thread  his  needle. 

The  children  were  very  much  surprised,  and  asked 
the  fairy  whether  that  was  her  doing. 

"  Yes,  and  no,"  she  said,  smiling.  "  It  was  only 
those  who  could  use  their  feet  as  well  as  their  hands 
who  could  get  a  good  living :  or,  indeed,  get  married ; 
so  that  they  got  the  best  of  everything,  and  starved 
out  all  the  rest ;  and  those  who  are  left  keep  up  a 
regular  breed  of  toe-thumb-men,  as  a  breed  of  short- 
horns, or  skye-terriers,  or  fancy  pigeons  is  kept  up." 

"  But  there  is  a  hairy  one  among  them,"  said  Ellie. 

"  Ah ! "  said  the  fairy,  "  that  will  be  a  great  man 
in  his  time,  and  chief  of  all  the  tribe." 

And,  when  she  turned  over  the  next  five  hundred 
years,  it  was  true. 


vi  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  235 

For  this  hairy  chief  had  had  hairy  children,  and 
they  hairier  children  still ;  and  every  one  wished  to 
marry  hairy  husbands,  and  have  hairy  children  too  ;  for 
the  climate  was  growing  so  damp  that  none  but  the 
hairy  ones  could  live  :  all  the  rest  coughed  and  sneezed, 
and  had  sore  throats,  and  went  into  consumptions, 
before  they  could  grow  up  to  be  men  and  women. 

Then  the  fairy  turned  over  the  next  five  hundred 
years.      And  they  were  fewer  still. 

"  Why,  there  is  one  on  the  ground  picking  up 
roots,"  said  Ellie,  "  and  he  cannot  walk  upright." 

No  more  he  could ;  for  in  the  same  way  that  the 
shape  of  their  feet  had  altered,  the  shape  of  their 
backs  had  altered  also. 

"  Why,"  cried  Tom,  "  I  declare  they  are  all  apes." 

"  Something  fearfully  like  it,  poor  foolish  creatures," 
said  the  fairy.  "  They  are  grown  so  stupid  now,  that 
they  can  hardly  think :  for  none  of  them  have  used 
their  wits  for  many  hundred  years.  They  have  almost 
forgotten,  too,  how  to  talk.  For  each  stupid  child  for- 
got some  of  the  words  it  heard  from  its  stupid  parents, 
and  had  not  wits  enough  to  make  fresh  words  for 
itself.  Beside,  they  are  grown  so  fierce  and  suspicious 
and  brutal  that  they  keep  out  of  each  other's  way, 
and  mope  and  sulk  in  the  dark  forests,  never  hearing 
each  other's  voice,  till  they  have  forgotten  almost  what 
speech  is  like.  I  am  afraid  they  will  all  be  apes  very 
soon,  and  all  by  doing  only  what  they  liked." 

And  in  the  next  five  hundred  years  they  were  all 


236 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


dead  and  gone,  by  bad  food  and  wild  beasts  and 
hunters ;  all  except  one  tremendous  old  fellow  with 
jaws  like  a  jack,  who  stood  full  seven  feet  high ;  and 


•\v^v/\i  ^ 


M.  Du  Chaillu  came  up  to  him,  and  shot  him,  as  he 
stood  roaring  and  thumping  his  breast.  And  he 
remembered  that  his  ancestors  had  once  been  men, 
and  tried  to  say,  "  Am  I  not  a  man  and  a  brother  ? " 


vi  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  237 

but  had  forgotten  how  to  use  his  tongue ;  and  then  he 
had  tried  to  call  for  a  doctor,  but  he  had  forgotten  the 
word  for  one.  So  all  he  said  was  "  Ubboboo  ! "  and 
died. 

And  that  was  the  end  of  the  great  and  jolly  nation 
of  the  Doasyoulikes.  And,  when  Tom  and  Ellie  came 
to  the  end  of  the  book,  they  looked  very  sad  and 
solemn ;  and  they  had  good  reason  so  to  do,  for  they 
really  fancied  that  the  men  were  apes,  and  never 
thought,  in  their  simplicity,  of  asking  whether  the 
creatures  had  hippopotamus  majors  in  their  brains  or 
not ;  in  which  case,  as  you  have  been  told  already,  they 
could  not  possibly  have  been  apes,  though  they  were 
more  apish  than  the  apes  of  all  aperies. 

"  But  could  you  not  have  saved  them  from  becoming 
apes  ?  "  said  little  Ellie,  at  last. 

"  At  first,  my  dear ;  if  only  they  would  have  behaved 
like  men,  and  set  to  work  to  do  what  they  did  not  like. 
But  the  longer  they  waited,  and  behaved  like  the 
dumb  beasts,  who  only  do  what  they  like,  the  stupider 
and  clumsier  they  grew ;  till  at  last  they  were  past  all 
cure,  for  they  had  thrown  their  own  wits  away.  It  is 
such  things  as  this  that  help  to  make  me  so  ugly,  that 
I  know  not  when  I  shall  grow  fair." 

"  And  where  are  they  all  now  ? "  asked  Ellie. 

"  Exactly  where  they  ought  to  be,  my  dear." 

"  Yes ! "  said  the  fairy,  solemnly,  half  to  herself,  as 
she  closed  the  wonderful  book.  "  Folks  say  now  that 
I  can  make  beasts  into  men,  by  circumstance,  and  selec- 


238  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

tion,  and  competition,  and  so  forth.  Well,  perhaps 
they  are  right ;  and  perhaps,  again,  they  are  wrong. 
That  is  one  of  the  seven  things  which  I  am  forbidden 
to  tell,  till  the  coming  of  the  Cocqcigrues ;  and,  at  all 
events,  it  is  no  concern  of  theirs.  Whatever  their 
ancestors  were,  men  they  are;   and  I  advise  them  to 


behave  as  such,  and  act  accordingly.  But  let  them 
recollect  this,  that  there  are  two  sides  to  every  question, 
and  a  downhill  as  well  as  an  uphill  road ;  and,  if  I 
can  turn  beasts  into  men,  I  can,  by  the  same  laws  of 
circumstance,  and  selection,  and  competition,  turn  men 
into  beasts.  You  were  very  near  being  turned  into  a 
beast  once  or  twice,  little  Tom.  Indeed,  if  you  had 
not  made  up  your  mind  to  go  on  this  journey,  and  see 


VI  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  239 

the  world,  like  an  Englishman,  I  am  not  sure  but  that 
you  would  have  ended  as  an  eft  in  a  pond." 

"  Oh,  dear  me  !  "  said  Tom  ;  "  sooner  than  that,  and 
be  all  over  slime,  I'll  go  this  minute,  if  it  is  to  the 
world's  end." 


"  And  Nature,  the  old  Nurse,  took 
The  child  upon  her  knee, 
Saying,  '  Here  is  a  story  book 
Thy  father  hath  written  for  thee. 

"  'Come  wander  with  me,'  she  said, 
'  Into  regions  yet  untrod, 
And  read  what  is  still  unread 
In  the  Manuscripts  of  God. ' 

"  And  he  wandered  away  and  away 
With  Nature,  the  dear  old  Nurse, 
"Who  sang  to  him  night  and  day 
The  rhymes  of  the  universe." 


Longfellow. 


CHAPTEK  VII 


OW,"   said 

Tom,    "  I 

am  ready 

to  be  off,  if  it's 

to    the    world's 

end." 

"Ah!  "said  the 
fairy,  "  that  is  a 
brave,  good  boy. 
But  you  must  go 
farther  than  the 
world's  end,  if  you 
want  to  find  Mr. 
Grimes  ;  for  he  is 
at  the  Other-end- 
of-Nowhere.  You 
must  go  to  Shiny  Wall,  and  through  the  white  gate 
that  never  was  opened ;  and  then  you  will  come  to 
Peacepool,  and  Mother  Carey's  Haven,  where  the  good 
whales  go  when  they  die.  And  there  Mother  Carey 
will  tell  you  the  way  to  the  Other-end-of -Nowhere,  and 
there  you  will  find  Mr.  Grimes." 

R 


242  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

"  Oh,  dear  !  "  said  Tom.  "  But  I  do  not  know  iny 
way  to  Shiny  Wall,  or  where  it  is  at  all." 

"Little  boys  must  take  the  trouble  to  find  out 
things  for  themselves,  or  they  will  never  grow  to  be 
men  ;  so  that  you  must  ask  all  the  beasts  in  the  sea  and 
the  birds  in  the  air,  and  if  you  have  been  good  to  them, 
some  of  them  will  tell  you  the  way  to  Shiny  Wall." 

"  Well."  said  Tom,  "  it  will  be  a  long  journey,  so  I 
had  better  start  at  once.  Good-bye,  Miss  Ellie ;  you 
know  I  am  getting  a  big  boy,  and  I  must  go  out  and 
see  the  world." 

"  I  know  you  must,"  said  Ellie ;  "  but  you  will  not 
forget  me,  Tom.      I  shall  wait  here  till  you  come." 

And  she  shook  hands  with  him,  and  bade  him  good- 
bye. Tom  longed  very  much  again  to  kiss  her ;  but 
he  thought  it  would  not  be  respectful,  considering  she 
was  a  lady  born ;  so  he  promised  not  to  forget  her : 
but  his  little  whirl-about  of  a  head  was  so  full  of  the 
notion  of  going  out  to  see  the  world,  that  it  forgot  her 
in  five  minutes :  however,  though  his  head  forgot  her, 
I  am  glad  to  say  his  heart  did  not. 

So  he  asked  all  the  beasts  in  the  sea,  and  all  the 
birds  in  the  air,  but  none  of  them  knew  the  way  to 
Shiny  Wall.  For  why  ?  He  was  still  too  far  down 
south. 

Then  he  met  a  ship,  far  larger  than  he  had  ever 
seen — a  gallant  ocean -steamer,  with  a  long  cloud  of 
smoke  trailing  behind ;  and  he  wondered  how  she 
went  on  without  sails,  and  swam  up  to  her  to  see.      A 


vii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  243 

school  of  dolphins  were  running  races  round  and 
round  her,  going  three  feet  for  her  one,  and  Tom  asked 
them  the  way  to  Shiny  Wall :  but  they  did  not  know. 
Then  he  tried  to  find  out  how  she  moved,  and  at  last 
he  saw  her  screw,  and  was  so  delighted  with  it  that 
he  played  under  her  quarter  all  day,  till  he  nearly  had 
his  nose  knocked  off  by  the  fans,  and  thought  it  time 
to  move.  Then  he  watched  the  sailors  upon  deck, 
and  the  ladies,  with  their  bonnets  and  parasols :  but 
none  of  them  could  see  him,  because  their  eyes  were 
not  opened, — as,  indeed,  most  people's  eyes  are  not. 

At  last  there  came  out  into  the  quarter-gallery  a 
very  pretty  lady,  in  deep  black  widow's  weeds,  and  in 
her  arms  a  baby.  She  leaned  over  the  quarter-gallery, 
and  looked  back  and  back  toward  England  far  away ; 
and  as  she  looked  she  sang : 


"  Soft  soft  wind,  from  out  the  sweet  south  sliding, 
Waft  thy  silver  cloud-webs  athwart  the  summer  sea  ; 

TJiin  thin  threads  of  mist  on  dewy  fingers  twining 
Weave  a  veil  of  dappled  gauze  to  shade  my  babe  and  me. 

II. 

"  Deep  deep  Love,  within  thine  own  abyss  abiding, 
Pour  Thyself  abroad,  0  Lord,  on  earth  and  air  and  sea  ; 

Worn  weary  hearts  within  Thy  holy  temple  hiding, 
Shield  from   sorrow,  sin,    and  shame  my  helpless  babe 
and  me." 


244 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


Her  voice  was  so  soft  and  low,  and  the  music  of 
the  air  so  sweet,  that  Tom  could  have  listened  to  it 
all  day.  But  as  she  held  the  baby  over  the  gallery 
rail,  to  show  it  the  dolphins  leaping  and  the  water 


gurgling  in  the  ship's  wake,  lo !  and  behold,  the  baby 
saw  Tom. 

He  was  quite  sure  of  that ;  for  when  their  eyes 
met,  the   baby  smiled  and  held  out  his  hands ;  and 


vii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  245 

Tom  smiled  and  held  out  his  hands  too ;  and  the  baby 
kicked  and  leaped,  as  if  it  wanted  to  jump  overboard 
to  him. 

"  What  do  you  see,  my  darling  ? "  said  the  lady ; 
and  her  eyes  followed  the  baby's  till  she  too  caught 
sight  of  Tom,  swimming  about  among  the  foam-beads 
below. 

She  gave  a  little  shriek  and  start ;  and  then  she 
said,  quite  quietly,  "  Babies  in  the  sea  ?  Well,  perhaps 
it  is  the  happiest  place  for  them ; "  and  waved  her 
hand  to  Tom,  and  cried,  "  Wait  a  little,  darling,  only 
a  little :  and  perhaps  we  shall  go  with  you  and  be  at 
rest." 

And  at  that  an  old  nurse,  all  in  black,  came  out 
and  talked  to  her,  and  drew  her  in.  And  Tom  turned 
away  northward,  sad  and  wondering ;  and  watched  the 
great  steamer  slide  away  into  the  dusk,  and  the  lights 
on  board  peep  out  one  by  one,  and  die  out  again,  and 
the  long  bar  of  smoke  fade  away  into  the  evening 
mist,  till  all  was  out  of  sight. 

And  he  swam  northward  again,  day  after  day,  till 
at  last  he  met  the  King  of  the  Herrings,  with  a  curry- 
comb growing  out  of  his  nose,  and  a  sprat  in  his  mouth 
for  a  cigar,  and  asked  him  the  way  to  Shiny  Wall ;  so 
he  bolted  his  sprat  head  foremost,  and  said : 

"  If  I  were  you,  young  gentleman,  I  should  go  to 
the  Allalonestone,  and  ask  the  last  of  the  Gairfowl. 
She  is  of  a  very  ancient  clan,  very  nearly  as  ancient 
as   my    own ;   and   knows    a   good   deal   which   these 


246 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


modern  upstarts  don't,  as  ladies  of  old  houses  are  likely 
to  do." 

Tom  asked  his  way  to  her,  and  the  King  of  the 
Herrings  told  him  very  kindly,  for  he  was  a  courteous 
old  gentleman  of  the  old  school,  though  he  was  horribly 


ugly,  and  strangely  bedizened  too,  like  the  old  dandies 
who  lounge  in  the  club-house  windows. 

But  just  as  Tom  had  thanked  him  and  set  off,  he 
called  after  him :  "  Hi !  I  say,  can  you  fly  ?  " 

"  I  never  tried,"  says  Tom.     "  Why  ? " 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


247 


"  Because,  if  you  can,  I  should  advise  you  to  say 
nothing  to  the  old  lady  about  it.  There ;  take  a  hint 
Good-bye." 


And  away  Tom  went   for  seven    days  and   seven 
nights  due  north-west,  till  he  came  to  a  great  codbank, 


248  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

the  like  of  which  he  never  saw  before.  The  great  cod 
lay  below  in  tens  of  thousands,  and  gobbled  shell-fish 
all  day  long ;  and  the  blue  sharks  roved  above  in 
hundreds,  and  gobbled  them  when  they  came  up.  So 
they  ate,  and  ate,  and  ate  each  other,  as  they  had  done 
since  the  making  of  the  world ;  for  no  man  had  come 
here  yet  to  catch  them,  and  find  out  how  rich  old 
Mother  Carey  is. 

And  there  he  saw  the  last  of  the  Gairfowl,  standing 
up  on  the  Allalonestone,  all  alone.  And  a  very  grand 
old  lady  she  was,  full  three  feet  high,  and  bolt  upright, 
like  some  old  Highland  chieftainess.  She  had  on  a 
black  velvet  gown,  and  a  white  pinner  and  apron,  and 
a  very  high  bridge  to  her  nose  (which  is  a  sure  mark 
of  high  breeding),  and  a  large  pair  of  white  spectacles 
on  it,  which  made  her  look  rather  odd :  but  it  was  the 
ancient  fashion  of  her  house. 

And  instead  of  wings,  she  had  two  little  feathery 
arms,  with  which  she  fanned  herself,  and  complained 
of  the  dreadful  heat ;  and  she  kept  on  crooning  an  old 
song  to  herself,  which  she  learnt  when  she  was  a  little 
baby-bird,  long  ago — 

"  Two  little  oirds  they  sat  on  a  stone, 

One  swam  away,  and  then  there  was  one, 
With  a  fal-lal-la-lady. 

"  The  other  swam  after,  and  then  there  was  none, 
And  so  the  poor  stone  ivas  left  all  alone  ; 
With  a  fal-lal-la-lady '." 


vii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  249 

It  was  "  flew "  away,  properly,  and  not  "  swam " 
away :  but,  as  she  could  not  fly,  she  had  a  right  to 
alter  it.  However,  it  was  a  very  fit  song  for  her  to 
sing,  because  she  was  a  lady  herself. 

Tom  came  up  to  her  very  humbly,  and  made  his 
bow ;  and  the  first  thing  she  said  was — 

"  Have  you  wings  1     Can  you  fly  ?  " 

"  Oh  dear,  no,  ma'am ;  I  should  not  think  of  such 
thing,"  said  cunning  little  Tom. 

"  Then  I  shall  have  great  pleasure  in  talking  to 
you,  my  dear.  It  is  quite  refreshing  nowadays  to  see 
anything  without  wings.  They  must  all  have  wings, 
forsooth,  now,  every  new  upstart  sort  of  bird,  and  fly. 
What  can  they  want  with  flying,  and  raising  them- 
selves above  their  proper  station  in  life  ?  In  the  days 
of  my  ancestors  no  birds  ever  thought  of  having  wings, 
and  did  very  well  without ;  and  now  they  all  laugh  at 
me  because  I  keep  to  the  good  old  fashion.  Why,  the 
very  marrocks  and  dovekies  have  got  wings,  the  vulgar 
creatures,  and  poor  little  ones  enough  they  are  ;  and 
my  own  cousins  too,  the  razor-bills,  who  are  gentlefolk 
born,  and  ought  to  know  better  than  to  ape  their 
inferiors." 

And  so  she  was  running  on,  while  Tom  tried  to  get 
in  a  word  edgeways ;  and  at  last  he  did,  when  the  old 
lady  got  out  of  breath,  and  began  fanning  herself  again  ; 
and  then  he  asked  if  she  knew  the  way  to  Shiny  Wall. 

"  Shiny  Wall  ?  Who  should  know  better  than  I  ? 
We  all  came  from  Shiny  Wall,  thousands  of  years  ago, 


250  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

when  it  was  decently  cold,  and  the  climate  was  fit  for 
gentlefolk ;  but  now,  what  with  the  heat,  and  what 
with  these  vulgar-winged  things  who  fly  up  and  down 
and  eat  everything,  so  that  gentlepeople's  hunting  is 
all  spoilt,  and  one  really  cannot  get  one's  living,  or 
hardly  venture  off  the  rock  for  fear  of  being  flown 
against  by  some  creature  that  would  not  have  dared 
to  come  within  a  mile  of  one  a  thousand  years  ago — 
what  was  I  saying  ?  Why,  we  have  quite  gone  down 
in  the  world,  my  dear,  and  have  nothing  left  but  our 
honour.  And  I  am  the  last  of  my  family.  A  friend 
of  mine  and  I  came  and  settled  on  this  rock  when  we 
were  young,  to  be  out  of  the  way  of  low  people.  Once 
we  were  a  great  nation,  and  spread  over  all  the  Northern 
Isles.  But  men  shot  us  so,  and  knocked  us  on  the 
head,  and  took  our  eggs — why,  if  you  will  believe  it, 
they  say  that  on  the  coast  of  Labrador  the  sailors  used 
to  lay  a  plank  from  the  rock  on  board  the  thing  called 
their  ship,  and  drive  us  along  the  plank  by  hundreds, 
till  we  tumbled  down  into  the  ship's  waist  in  heaps ; 
and  then,  I  suppose,  they  ate  us,  the  nasty  fellows  ! 
Well — but — what  was  I  saying  ?  At  last,  there  were 
none  of  us  left,  except  on  the  old  Gairfowlskerry,  just 
off  the  Iceland  coast,  up  which  no  man  could  climb. 
Even  there  we  had  no  peace  ;  for  one  day,  when  I  was 
quite  a  young  girl,  the  land  rocked,  and  the  sea  boiled, 
and  the  sky  grew  dark,  and  all  the  air  was  filled  with 
smoke  and  dust,  and  down  tumbled  the  old  Gairfowls- 
kerry into  the  sea.      The   dovekies  and  marrocks,  of 


vii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  251 

course,  all  flew  away ;  but  we  were  too  proud  to  do 
that.  Some  of  us  were  dashed  to  pieces,  and  some 
drowned ;  and  those  who  were  left  got  away  to  Eldey, 
and  the  dovekies  tell  me  they  are  all  dead  now,  and 
that  another  Gairfowlskerry  has  risen  out  of  the  sea 
close  to  the  old  one,  but  that  it  is  such  a  poor  flat  place 
that  it  is  not  safe  to  live  on :  and  so  here  I  am  left 
alone." 

This  was  the  Gairfowl's  story,  and,  strange  as  it 
may  seem,  it  is  every  word  of  it  true. 

"  If  you  only  had  had  wings  ! "  said  Tom  ;  "  then 
you  might  all  have  flown  away  too." 

"  Yes,  young  gentleman :  and  if  people  are  not 
gentleman  and  ladies,  and  forget  that  noblesse  oblige, 
they  will  find  it  as  easy  to  get  on  in  the  world  as 
other  people  who  don't  care  what  they  do.  Why,  if  I 
had  not  recollected  that  noblesse  oblige,  I  should  not  have 
been  all  alone  now."     And  the  poor  old  lady  sighed. 

"  How  was  that,  ma'am  ?  " 

"  Why,  my  dear,  a  gentleman  came  hither  with  me, 
and  after  we  had  been  here  some  time,  he  wanted  to 
marry — in  fact,  he  actually  proposed  to  me.  Well,  I 
can't  blame  him ;  I  was  young,  and  very  handsome 
then,  I  don't  deny :  but  you  see,  I  could  not  hear  of 
such  a  thing,  because  he  was  my  deceased  sister's 
husband,  you  see  ?  A 

"  Of  course  not,  ma'am,"  said  Tom ;  though,  of 
course,  he  knew  nothing  about  it.  "  She  was  very 
much  diseased,  I  suppose  ?  " 


252  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

"You  do  not  understand  me,  my  dear.  I  mean, 
that  being  a  lady,  and  with  right  and  honourable 
feelings,  as  our  house  always  has  had,  I  felt  it  my  duty 
to  snub  him,  and  howk  him,  and  peck  him  continually, 
to  keep  him  at  his  proper  distance ;  and,  to  tell  the 
truth,  I  once  pecked  him  a  little  too  hard,  poor  fellow, 
and  he  tumbled  backwards  off  the  rock,  and — really, 
it  was  very  unfortunate,  but  it  was  not  my  fault — a 
shark  coming  by  saw  him  flapping,  and  snapped  him 
up.     And  since  then  I  have  lived  all  alone — 

'  With  a  fal-lal-la-lad.y! 

And  soon  I  shall  be  gone,  my  little  dear,  and  nobody 
will  miss  me ;  and  then  the  poor  stone  will  be  left  all 
alone." 

"  But,  please,  which  is  the  way  to  Shiny  Wall  ? " 
said  Tom. 

"  Oh,  you  must  go,  my  little  dear — you  must  go. 
Let  me  see — I  am  sure — that  is — really,  my  poor  old 
brains  are  getting  quite  puzzled.  Do  you  know,  my 
little  dear,  I  am  afraid,  if  you  want  to  know,  you  must 
ask  some  of  these  vulgar  birds  about,  for  I  have  quite 
forgotten." 

And  the  poor  old  Gairfowl  began  to  cry  tears  of 
pure  oil ;  and  Tom  was  quite  sorry  for  her ;  and  for 
himself  too,  for  he  was  at  his  wit's  end  whom  to  ask. 

But  by  there  came  a  flock  of  petrels,  who  are 
Mother  Carey's  own  chickens ;  and  Tom  thought  them 
much  prettier  than  Lady  Gairfowl,  and  so  perhaps  they 


vii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  253 

were ;  for  Mother  Carey  had  had  a  great  deal  of  fresh 
experience  between  the  time  that  she  invented  the 
Gairfowl  and  the  time  that  she  invented  them.  They 
flitted  along  like  a  flock  of  black  swallows,  and  hopped 
and  skipped  from  wave  to  wave,  lifting  up  their  little 
feet  behind  them  so  daintily,  and  whistling  to  each 
other  so  tenderly,  that  Tom  fell  in  love  with  them  at 
once,  and  called  them  to  know  the  way  to  Shiny  Wall. 

"  Shiny  Wall  ?  Do  you  want  Shiny  Wall  ?  Then 
come  with  us,  and  we  will  show  you.  We  are  Mother 
Carey's  own  chickens,  and  she  sends  us  out  over  all 
the  seas,  to  show  the  good  birds  the  way  home." 

Tom  was  delighted,  and  swam  off  to  them,  after  he 
had  made  his  bow  to  the  Gairfowl.  But  she  would 
not  return  his  bow :  but  held  herself  bolt  upright,  and 
"ivept  tears  of  oil  as  she  sang : 

"And  so  the  poor  stone  was  left  all  alone  ; 
With  a  fal-lal-la-lady." 

But  she  was  wrong  there ;  for  the  stone  was  not 
left  all  alone :  and  the  next  time  that  Tom  goes  by  it, 
he  will  see  a  sight  worth  seeing. 

The  old  Gairfowl  is  gone  already :  but  there  are 
better  things  come  in  her  place ;  and  when  Tom  comes 
he  will  see  the  fishing -smacks  anchored  there  in 
hundreds,  from  Scotland,  and  from  Ireland,  and  from  the 
Orkneys,  and  the  Shetlands,  and  from  all  the  Northern 
ports,  full  of  the  children  of  the  old  Norse  Vikings,  the 
masters  of  the  sea.      And  the  men  will  be  hauling  in 


254  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

the  great  cod  by  thousands,  till  their  hands  are  sore 
from  the  lines  ;  and  they  "will  be  making  cod-liver  oil 
and  guano,  and  salting  down  the  fish ;  and  there  will  be 
a  man-of-war  steamer  there  to  protect  them,  and  a 
lighthouse  to  show  them  the  way ;  and  you  and  I, 
perhaps,  shall  go  some  day  to  the  Allalonestone  to  the 
great  summer  sea- fair,  and  dredge  strange  creatures 
such  as  man  never  saw  before ;  and  we  shall  hear  the 
sailors  boast  that  it  is  not  the  worst  jewel  in  Queen 
Victoria's  crown,  for  there  are  eighty  miles  of  codbank, 
and  food  for  all  the  poor  folk  in  the  land.  That  is 
what  Tom  will  see,  and  perhaps  you  and  I  shall  see  it 
too.  And  then  we  shall  not  be  sorry  because  we  can- 
not get  a  Gairfowl  to  stuff,  much  less  find  gairfowl 
enough  to  drive  them  into  stone  pens  and  slaughter 
them,  as  the  old  Norsemen  did,  or  drive  them  on  board 
along  a  plank  till  the  ship  was  victualled  with  them, 
as  the  old  English  and  French  rovers  used  to  do,  of 
whom  clear  old  Hakluyt  tells :  but  we  shall  remember 
what  Mr.  Tennyson  says  :  how 

"  The  old  order  changeth,  giving  place  to  the  new, 
And  God  fulfils  himself  in  many  ways." 

And  now  Tom  was  all  agog  to  start  for  Shiny 
Wall ;  but  the  petrels  said  no.  They  must  go  first  to 
Allfowlsness,  and  wait  there  for  the  great  gathering  of 
all  the  sea-birds,  before  they  start  for  their  summer 
breeding-places  far  away  in  the  Northern  Isles;  and 
there  they  would  be  sure  to  find  some  birds  which 


vii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND- BABY  255 

were  going  to  Shiny  Wall:  but  where  Allfowlsness 
was,  he  must  promise  never  to  tell,  lest  men  should  go 
there  and  shoot  the  birds,  and  stuff  them,  and  put 
them  into  stupid  museums,  instead  of  leaving  them 
to  play  and  breed  and  work  in  Mother  Carey's  water- 
garden,  where  they  ought  to  be. 

So  where  Allfowlsness  is  nobody  must  know ;  and 
all  that  is  to  be  said  about  it  is,  that  Tom  waited 
there  many  days ;  and  as  he  waited,  he  saw  a  very 
curious  sight.  On  the  rabbit  burrows  on  the  shore 
there  gathered  hundreds  and  hundreds  of  hoodie-crows, 
such  as  you  see  in  Cambridgeshire.  And  they  made 
such  a  noise,  that  Tom  came  on  shore  and  went  up  to 
see  what  was  the  matter. 

And  there  he  found  them  holding  their  great  caucus, 
which  they  hold  every  year  in  the  North  ;  and  all  their 
stump-orators  were  speechifying  ;  and  for  a  tribune,  the 
speaker  stood  on  an  old  sheep's  skull. 

And  they  cawed  and  cawed,  and  boasted  of  all  the 
clever  things  they  had  done ;  how  many  lambs'  eyes 
they  had  picked  out,  and  how  many  dead  bullocks 
they  had  eaten,  and  how  many  young  grouse  they  had 
swallowed  whole,  and  how  many  grouse-eggs  they  had 
flown  away  with,  stuck  on  the  point  of  their  bills, 
which  is  the  hoodie-crow's  particularly  clever  feat,  of 
which  he  is  as  proud  as  a  gipsy  is  of  doing  the  hokany- 
baro ;  and  what  that  is,  I  won't  tell  you. 

And  at  last  they  brought  out  the  prettiest,  neatest 
young  lady-crow  that  ever  was  seen,  and  set  her  in 


256 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


the  middle,  and  all  began  abusing  and  vilifying,  and 
rating,  and  bullyragging  at  her,  because  she  had  stolen 
no  grouse-eggs,  and  had  actually  dared  to  say  that  she 


would  not  steal  any.  So  she  was  to  be  tried  publicly 
by  their  laws  (for  the  hoodies  always  try  some 
offenders  in  their  great  yearly  parliament).     And  there 


vii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  257 

she  stood  in  the  middle,  in  her  black  gown  and  gray 
hood,  looking  as  meek  and  as  neat  as  a  Quakeress,  and 
they  all  bawled  at  her  at  once — 

And  it  was  in  vain  that  she  pleaded — 

That  she  did  not  like  grouse-eggs  ; 

Tlud  she  could  get  her  living  very  well  without  them  ; 

That  she   was  afraid  to  eat  them,  for  fear  of  the 

gamekeepers  ; 
That  she  had  not  the  heart  to  eat  them,  because  the 

grouse  were  such  pretty,  kind,  jolly  birds  ; 
And  a  dozen  reasons  more. 

For  all  the  other  scaul-  crows  set  upon  her,  and 
pecked  her  to  death  there  and  then,  before  Tom  could 
come  to  help  her ;  and  then  flew  away,  very  proud  of 
what  they  had  done. 

Now,  was  not  this  a  scandalous  transaction  ? 

But  they  are  true  republicans,  these  hoodies,  who 
do  every  one  just  what  he  likes,  and  make  other  people 
do  so  too ;  so  that,  for  any  freedom  of  speech,  thought, 
or  action,  which  is  allowed  among  them,  they  might 
as  well  be  American  citizens  of  the  new  school. 

But  the  fairies  took  the  good  crow,  and  gave  her 
nine  new  sets  of  feathers  running,  and  turned  her  at 
last  into  the  most  beautiful  bird  of  paradise  with  a 
green  velvet  suit  and  a  long  tail,  and  sent  her  to  eat 
fruit  in  the  Spice  Islands,  where  cloves  and  nutmegs 
grow. 

And  Mrs.   Bedonebyasyoudid   settled  her  account 


258  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

with  the  wicked  hoodies.  For,  as  they  flew  away, 
what  should  they  find  but  a  nasty  dead  dog  ? — on 
which  they  all  set  to  work,  pecking  and  gobbling  and 
cawing  and  quarrelling  to  their  hearts'  content.  But 
the  moment  afterwards,  they  all  threw  up  their  bills 
into  the  air,  and  gave  one  screech ;  and  then  turned 
head  over  heels  backward,  and  fell  down  dead,  one 
hundred  and  twenty -three  of  them  at  once.  For 
why  ?  The  fairy  had  told  the  gamekeeper  in  a 
dream,  to  fill  the  dead  dog  full  of  strychnine ;  and 
so  he  did. 

And  after  a  while  the  birds  began  to  gather  at 
Allfowlsness,  in  thousands  and  tens  of  thousands, 
blackening  all  the  air;  swans  and  brant  geese,  harle- 
quins and  eiders,  harolds  and  garganeys,  smews  and 
goosanders,  divers  and  loons,  grebes  and  dovekies,  auks 
and  razor-bills,  gannets  and  petrels,  skuas  and  terns, 
with  gulls  beyond  all  naming  or  numbering ;  and  they 
paddled  and  washed  and  splashed  and  combed  and 
brushed  themselves  on  the  sand,  till  the  shore  was 
white  with  feathers ;  and  they  quacked  and  clucked 
and  gabbled  and  chattered  and  screamed  and  whooped 
as  they  talked  over  matters  with  their  friends,  and 
settled  where  they  were  to  go  and  breed  that  summer, 
till  you  might  have  heard  them  ten  miles  off;  and 
lucky  it  was  for  them  that  there  was  no  one  to 
hear  them  but  the  old  keeper,  who  lived  all  alone 
upon  the  Ness,  in  a  turf  hut  thatched  with  heather 
and  fringed  round  with  great  stones  slung  across  the 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOE  A  LAND-BABY 


259 


roof  by  bent-ropes,  lest  the  i vinter  gales  should  blow 
the  hut  right  away.  But  he  never  minded  the  bircls 
nor  hurt  them,  because  they  were  not  in  season ; 
indeed,  he  minded  but  two  things  in  the  whole  world, 
and  those  were,  his  Bible  and  his  grouse ;  for  he  was 


as  good  an  old  Scotchman  as  ever  knit  stockings  on  a 
winter's  night :  only,  when  all  the  birds  were  going, 
he  toddled  out,  and  took  off  his  cap  to  them,  and 
wished  them  a  merry  journey  and  a  safe  return ;  and 
then  gathered  up  all  the  feathers  which  they  had  left, 


260  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

and  cleaned  them  to  sell  down  south,  and  make  feather- 
beds  for  stuffy  people  to  lie  on. 

Then  the  petrels  asked  this  bird  and  that  whether 
they  would  take  Tom  to  Shiny  "Wall :  but  one  set  was 
going  to  Sutherland,  and  one  to  the  Shetlands,  and 
one  to  Norway,  and  one  to  Spitzbergen,  and  one  to 
Iceland,  and  one  to  Greenland :  but  none  would  go  to 
Shiny  Wall.  So  the  gocd-natured  petrels  said  that 
they  would  show  him  part  of  the  way  themselves,  but 
they  were  only  going  as  far  as  Jan  May  en's  Land  ;  and 
after  that  he  must  shift  for  himself. 

And  then  all  the  birds  rose  up,  and  streamed  away 
in  long  black  lines,  north,  and  north-east,  and  north- 
west, across  the  bright  blue  summer  sky ;  and  their 
cry  was  like  ten  thousand  packs  of  hounds,  and  ten 
thousand  peals  of  bells.  Only  the  puffins  stayed 
behind,  and  killed  the  young  rabbits,  and  laid  their 
eggs  in  the  rabbit-burrows ;  which  was  rough  practice, 
certainly ;  but  a  man  must  see  to  his  own  family. 

And,  as  Tom  and  the  petrels  went  north-eastward, 
it  began  to  blow  right  hard ;  for  the  old  gentleman  in 
the  gray  great -coat,  who  looks  after  the  big  copper 
boiler,  in  the  gulf  of  Mexico,  had  got  behindhand  with 
his  work ;  so  Mother  Carey  had  sent  an  electric 
message  to  him  for  more  steam ;  and  now  the  steam 
was  coming,  as  much  in  an  hour  as  ought  to  have 
come  in  a  week,  puffing  and  roaring  and  swishing  and 
swirling,  till  you  could  not  see  where  the  sky  ended 
and  the  sea  began.      But  Tom  and  the  petrels  never 


VII  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  261 

cared,  for  the  gale  was  right  abaft,  and  away  they 
went  over  the  crests  of  the  billows,  as  merry  as  so 
many  flying-fish. 

And  at  last  they  saw  an  ugly  sight — the  black 
side  of  a  great  ship,  water-logged  in  the  trough  of  the 
sea.  Her  funnel  and  her  masts  were  overboard,  and 
swayed  and  surged  under  her  lee ;  her  decks  were 
swept  as  clean  as  a  barn  floor,  and  there  was  no  living 
soul  on  board. 

The  petrels  flew  up  to  her,  and  wailed  round  her ; 
for  they  were  very  sorry  indeed,  and  also  they  expected 
to  find  some  salt  pork ;  and  Tom  scrambled  on  board 
of  her  and  looked  round,  frightened  and  sad. 

And  there,  in  a  little  cot,  lashed  tight  under  the 
bulwark,  lay  a  baby  fast  asleep ;  the  very  same  baby, 
Tom  saw  at  once,  which  he  had  seen  in  the  singing 
lady's  arms. 

He  went  up  to  it,  and  wanted  to  wake  it ;  but 
behold,  from  under  the  cot  out  jumped  a  little  black 
and  tan  terrier  dog,  and  began  barking  and  snapping 
at  Tom,  and  would  not  let  him  touch  the  cot. 

Tom  knew  the  dog's  teeth  could  not  hurt  him  :  but 
at  least  it  could  shove  him  away,  and  did ;  and  he  and 
the  dog  fought  and  struggled,  for  he  wanted  to  help 
the  baby,  and  did  not  want  to  throw  the  poor  dog 
overboard :  but  as  they  were  struggling,  there  came  a 
tall  green  sea,  and  walked  in  over  the  weather  side  of 
the  ship,  and  swept  them  all  into  the  waves. 

"  Oh,  the   baby,  the  baby ! "  screamed   Tom :   but 


262 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


the  next  moment  he  did  not  scream  at  all ;  for  he  saw 
the  cot  settling  down  through  the  green  water,  with 
the  baby,  smiling  in  it,  fast  asleep ;  and  he  saw  the 
fairies  come  up  from  below,  and  carry  baby  and  cradle 
gently  down  in  their  soft  arms ;  and  then  he  knew  it 


was  all  right,  and  that  there  would  be  a  new  water- 
baby  in  St.  Brandan's  Isle. 

And  the  poor  little  dog  ? 

"Why,  after  he  had  kicked  and  coughed  a  little,  he 
sneezed  so  hard,  that  he  sneezed  himself  clean  out  of 
his  skin,  and  turned  into  a  water-dog,  and  jumped  and 


vii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  263 

danced  round  Tom,  and  ran  over  the  crests  of  the 
waves,  and  snapped  at  the  jelly-fish  and  the  mackerel, 
and  followed  Tom  the  whole  way  to  the  Other-end-of- 
ISTowhere. 

Then  they  went  on  again,  till  they  began  to  see 
the  peak  of  Jan  Mayen's  Land,  standing  up  like  a 
white  sugar-loaf,  two  miles  above  the  clouds. 

And  there  they  fell  in  with  a  whole  flock  of  molly- 
mocks,  who  were  feeding  on  a  dead  whale. 

"  These  are  the  fellows  to  show  you  the  way,"  said 
Mother  Carey's  chickens ;  "  we  cannot  help  you  farther 
north.  We  don't  like  to  get  among  the  ice  pack,  for 
fear  it  should  nip  our  toes  :  but  the  mollys  dare  fly 
anywhere." 

So  the  petrels  called  to  the  mollys :  but  they  were 
so  busy  and  greedy,  gobbling  and  pecking  and  splutter- 
ing and  fighting  over  the  blubber,  that  they  did  not 
take  the  least  notice. 

"  Come,  come,"  said  the  petrels,  "  you  lazy  greedy 
lubbers,  this  young  gentleman  is  going  to  Mother 
Carey,  and  if  you  don't  attend  on  him,  you  won't  earn 
your  discharge  from  her,  you  know." 

"  Greedy  we  are,"  says  a  great  fat  old  molly,  "  but 
lazy  we  ain't ;  and,  as  for  lubbers,  we're  no  more 
lubbers  than  you.      Let's  have  a  look  at  the  lad." 

And  he  flapped  right  into  Tom's  face,  and  stared 
at  him  in  the  most  impudent  way  (for  the  mollys  are 
audacious  fellows,  as  all  whalers  know),  and  then  asked 
him  where  he  hailed  from,  and  what  land  he  sighted  last. 


•264 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


And,  when  Tom  told  him,  he  seemed  pleased,  and 
said  he  was  a  good  plucked  one  to  have  got  so  far. 

*  Come  along,  lads,"  he  said  to  the  rest,  "  and 
give  this  little  chap  a  cast  over  the  pack,  for  Mother 
Carey's  sake.      We've  eaten  blubber  enough  for  to-day, 


and  we'll  e'en  work  out  a  bit  of  our  time  by  helping 
the  lad." 

So  the  mollys  took  Tom  up  on  their  backs,  and 
flew  off  with  him,  laughing  and  joking — and  oh,  how 
they  did  smell  of  train  oil ! 

"  Who  are  you,  you  jolly  birds  ? "  asked  Tom. 

"  We  are  the  spirits  of  the  old  Greenland  skippers 
(as  every  sailor  knows),  who  hunted  here,  right  whales 
and  horse-whales,  full  hundreds  of  years  agone.      But, 


vii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  265 

because  we  were  saucy  and  greedy,  we  were  all  turned 
into  mollys,  to  eat  whale's  blubber  all  our  days.  But 
lubbers  we  are  none,  and  could  sail  a  ship  now  against 
any  man  in  the  North  seas,  though  we  don't  hold  with 
this  new-fangled  steam.  And  it's  a  shame  of  those 
black  imps  of  petrels  to  call  us  so ;  but  because  they're 
her  grace's  pets,  they  think  they  may  say  anything 
they  like." 

"  And  who  are  you  ? "  asked  Tom  of  him,  for  he 
saw  that  he  was  the  king  of  all  the  birds. 

"  My  name  is  Hendrick  Hudson,  and  a  right  good 
skipper  was  I ;  and  my  name  will  last  to  the  world's 
end,  in  spite  of  all  the  wrong  I  did.  For  I  discovered 
Hudson  Eiver,  and  I  named  Hudson's  Bay ;  and  many 
have  come  in  my  wake  that  dared  not  have  shown  me 
the  way.  But  I  was  a  hard  man  in  my  time,  that's 
truth,  and  stole  the  poor  Indians  off  the  coast  of  Maine, 
and  sold  them  for  slaves  down  in  Virginia ;  and  at 
last  I  was  so  cruel  to  my  sailors,  here  in  these  very 
seas,  that  they  set  me  adrift  in  an  open  boat,  and  I 
never  was  heard  of  more.  So  now  I'm  the  king  of  all 
mollys,  till  I've  worked  out  my  time." 

And  now  they  came  to  the  edge  of  the  pack,  and 
beyond  it  they  could  see  Shiny  Wall  looming,  through 
mist,  and  snow,  and  storm.  But  the  pack  rolled 
horribly  upon  the  swell,  and  the  ice  giants  fought  and 
roared,  and  leapt  upon  each  other's  backs,  and  ground 
each  other  to  powder,  so  that  Tom  was  afraid  to 
venture   among   them,  lest   he   should   be   ground    to 


266  THE  WATER-BABIES  ohap. 

powder  too.  And  he  was  the  more  afraid,  when  he 
saw  lying  among  the  ice  pack  the  wrecks  of  many  a 
gallant  ship ;  some  with  masts  and  yards  all  standing, 
some  with  the  seamen  frozen  fast  on  board.  Alas, 
alas,  for  them  !  They  were  all  true  English  hearts ; 
and  they  came  to  their  end  like  good  knights-errant, 
in  searching  for  the  white  gate  that  never  was  opened 
yet. 

But  the  good  mollys  took  Tom  and  his  dog  up,  and 
flew  with  them  safe  over  the  pack  and  the  roaring  ice 
giants,  and  set  them  down  at  the  foot  of  Shiny  Wall. 

"  And  where  is  the  gate  ? "  asked  Tom. 

"  There  is  no  gate,"  said  the  mollys. 

"  No  gate  ?  "  cried  Tom,  aghast. 

"  None ;  never  a  crack  of  one,  and  that's  the  whole 
of  the  secret,  as  better  fellows,  lad,  than  you  have 
found  to  their  cost ;  and  if  there  had  been,  they'd  have 
killed  by  now  every  right  whale  that  swims  the  sea." 

"  What  am  I  to  do,  then  ?  " 

"  Dive  under  the  floe,  to  be  sure,  if  you  have  pluck." 

"  I've  not  come  so  far  to  turn  now,"  said  Tom ;  "  so 
here  goes  for  a  header." 

"  A  lucky  voyage  to  you,  lad,"  said  the  mollys  ;  "  we 
knew  you  were  one  of  the  right  sort.      So  good-bye." 

"  Why  don't  you  come  too  ?  "  asked  Tom. 

But  the  mollys  only  wailed  sadly,  "  We  can't  go 
yet,  we  can't  go  yet/'  and  flew  away  over  the  pack. 

So  Tom  dived  under  the  great  white  gate  which 
never  was  opened  yet,  and  went  on  in  black  darkness, 


vii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  267 

at  the  bottom  of  the  sea,  for  seven  days  and  seven 
nights.  And  yet  he  was  not  a  bit  frightened.  Why 
should  he  be  ?  He  was  a  brave  English  lad,  whose 
business  is  to  go  out  and  see  all  the  world. 

And  at  last  he  saw  the  light,  and  clear  clear  water 
overhead ;  and  up  he  came  a  thousand  fathoms,  among 
clouds  of  sea- moths,  which  fluttered  round  his  head. 
There  were  moths  with  pink  heads  and  wings  and  opal 
bodies,  that  flapped  about  slowly ;  moths  with  brown 
wings  that  flapped  about  quickly ;  yellow  shrimps  that 
hopped  and  skipped  most  quickly  of  all ;  and  jellies  of 
all  the  colours  in  the  world,  that  neither  hopped  nor 
skipped,  but  only  dawdled  and  yawned,  and  would  not 
get  out  of  his  way.  The  dog  snapped  at  them  till  his 
jaws  were  tired ;  but  Tom  hardly  minded  them  at  all, 
he  was  so  eager  to  get  to  the  top  of  the  water,  and  see 
the  pool  where  the  good  whales  go. 

And  a  very  large  pool  it  was,  miles  and  miles 
across,  though  the  air  was  so  clear  that  the  ice  cliffs 
on  the  opposite  side  looked  as  if  they  were  close  at 
hand.  All  round  it  the  ice  cliffs  rose,  in  walls  and 
spires  and  battlements,  and  caves  and  bridges,  and 
stories  and  galleries,  in  which  the  ice-fairies  live,  and 
drive  away  the  storms  and  clouds,  that  Mother  Carey's 
pool  may  lie  calm  from  year's  end  to  year's  end.  And 
the  sun  acted  policeman,  and  walked  round  outside 
every  day,  peeping  just  over  the  top  of  the  ice  wall,  to 
see  that  all  went  right ;  and  now  and  then  he  played 
conjuring  tricks,  or  had  an  exhibition  of  fireworks,  to 


268  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap,  vii 

amuse  the  ice-fairies.  For  he  would  make  himself  into 
four  or  five  suns  at  once,  or  paint  the  sky  with  rings 
and  crosses  and  crescents  of  white  fire,  and  stick  him- 
self in  the  middle  of  them,  and  wink  at  the  fairies  ; 
and. I  daresay  they  were  very  much  amused;  for  any- 
thing's  fun  in  the  country. 

And  there  the  good  whales  lay,  the  happy  sleepy 
beasts,  upon  the  still  oily  sea.  They  were  all  right 
whales,  you  must  know,  and  finners,  and  razor-backs, 
and  bottle-noses,  and  spotted  sea-unicorns  with  long 
ivory  horns.  But  the  sperm  whales  are  such  raging, 
ramping,  roaring,  rumbustious  fellows,  that,  if  Mother 
Carey  let  them  in,  there  would  be  no  more  peace  in 
Peacepool.  So  she  packs  them  away  in  a  great  pond 
by  themselves  at  the  South  Pole,  two  hundred  and 
sixty-three  miles  south-south-east  of  Mount  Erebus, 
the  great  volcano  in  the  ice ;  and  there  they  butt  each 
other  with  their  ugly  noses,  day  and  night  from  year's 
end  to  year's  end. 

But  here  there  were  only  good  quiet  beasts,  lying 
about  like  the  black  hulls  of  sloops,  and  blowing  every 
now  and  then  jets  of  white  steam,  or  sculling  round 
with  their  huge  mouths  open,  for  the  sea-moths  to 
swim  down  their  throats.  There  were  no  threshers 
there  to  thresh  their  poor  old  backs,  or  sword-fish  to 
stab  their  stomachs,  or  saw-fish  to  rip  them  up,  or  ice- 
sharks  to  bite  lumps  out  of  their  sides,  or  whalers  to 
harpoon  and  lance  them.  They  were  quite  safe  and 
happy   there ;    and   all  they  had  to   do   was   to   wait 


270  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

quietly  in  Peacepool,  till  Mother  Carey  sent  for  them 
to  make  them  out  of  old  beasts  into  new. 

Tom  swam  up  to  the  nearest  whale,  and  asked  the 
way  to  Mother  Carey. 

"  There  she  sits  in  the  middle,"  said  the  whale. 

Tom  looked ;  but  he  could  see  nothing  in  the 
middle  of  the  pool,  but  one  peaked  iceberg:  and  he 
said  so. 

"  That's  Mother  Carey,"  said  the  whale,  "  as  you 
will  find  when  you  get  to  her.  There  she  sits  making 
old  beasts  into  new  all  the  year  round." 

"  How  does  she  do  that  ?  " 

"  That's  her  concern,  not  mine,"  said  the  old  whale  ; 
and  yawned  so  wide  (for  he  was  very  large)  that  there 
swam  into  his  mouth  943  sea-moths,  13,846  jelly-fish 
no  bigger  than  pins'  heads,  a  string  of  salpse  nine  yards 
long,  and  forty-three  little  ice-crabs,  who  gave  each 
other  a  parting  pinch  all  round,  tucked  their  legs  under 
their  stomachs,  and  determined  to  die  decently,  like 
Julius  Caesar. 

"  I  suppose,"  said  Tom,  "  she  cuts  up  a  great  whale 
like  you  into  a  whole  shoal  of  porpoises  ?  " 

At  which  the  old  whale  laughed  so  violently  that  he 
coughed  up  all  the  creatures ;  who  swam  away  again 
very  thankful  at  having  escaped  out  of  that  terrible 
whalebone  net  of  his,  from  which  bourne  no  traveller 
returns ;  and  Tom  went  on  to  the  iceberg,  wondering. 

And,  when  he  came  near  it,  it  took  the  form  of  the 
grandest  old  lady  he  had  ever  seen — a  white  marble 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


271 


lady,  sitting  on  a  white  marble  throne.  And  from  the 
foot  of  the  throne  there  swum  away,  out  and  out  into 
the  sea,  millions  of  new-born  creatures,  of  more  shapes 
and  colours  than  man  ever  dreamed.      And  they  were 


Mother  Carey's  children,  whom  she  makes  out  of  the 
sea-water  all  day  long. 

He  expected,  of  course — like  some  grown  people 
who  ought  to  know  better — to  find  her  snipping, 
piecing,  fitting,  stitching,  cobbling,  basting,  filing, 
planing,     hammering,     turning,     polishing,    moulding, 


272  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

measuring,  chiselling,  clipping,  and  so  forth,  as  men 
do  when  they  go  to  work  to  make  anything. 

But,  instead  of  that,  she  sat  quite  still  with  her 
chin  upon  her  hand,  looking  down  into  the  sea  with 
two  great  grand  blue  eyes,  as  blue  as  the  sea  itself. 
Her  hair  was  as  white  as  the  snow — for  she  was  very 
very  old — in  fact,  as  old  as  anything  which  you  are 
likely  to  come  across,  except  the  difference  between 
right  and  wrong. 

And,  when  she  saw  Tom,  she  looked  at  him  very 
kindly. 

"  What  do  you  want,  my  little  man  ?  It  is  long 
since  I  have  seen  a  water-baby  here." 

Tom  told  her  his  errand,  and  asked  the  way  to  the 
Other-end-of-Nowhere. 

"  You  ought  to  know  yourself,  for  you  have  been 
there  already." 

"  Have  I,  ma'am  ?     I'm  sure  I  forget  all  about  it." 

"  Then  look  at  me." 

And,  as  Tom  looked  into  her  great  blue  eyes,  he 
recollected  the  way  perfectly. 

Now,  was  not  that  strange  ? 

"  Thank  you,  ma'am,"  said  Tom.  "  Then  I  won't 
trouble  your  ladyship  any  more ;  I  hear  you  are  very 
busy." 

"  I  am  never  more  busy  than  I  am  now,"  she  said, 
without  stirring  a  finger. 

"  I  heard,  ma'am,  that  you  were  always  making 
new  beasts  out  of  old." 


vii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  273 

"  So  people  fancy.  But  I  am  not  going  to  trouble 
myself  to  make  things,  my  little  dear.  I  sit  here  and 
make  them  make  themselves." 

"You  are  a  clever  fairy,  indeed,"  thought  Tom. 
And  he  was  quite  right. 

That  is  a  grand  trick  of  good  old  Mother  Carey's, 
and  a  grand  answer,  which  she  has  had  occasion  to 
make  several  times  to  impertinent  people. 

There  was  once,  for  instance,  a  fairy  who  was  so 
clever  that  she  found  out  how  to  make  butterflies.  I 
don't  mean  sham  ones ;  no  :  but  real  live  ones,  which 
would  fly,  and  eat,  and  lay  eggs,  and  do  everything 
that  they  ought;  and  she  was  so  proud  of  her  skill 
that  she  went  flying  straight  off  to  the  North  Pole,  to 
boast  to  Mother  Carey  how  she  could  make  butterflies. 

But  Mother  Carey  laughed.       ' 

"  Know,  silly  child,"  she  said,  "  that  any  one  can 
make  things,  if  they  will  take  time  and  trouble  enough  : 
but  it  is  not  every  one  who,  like  me,  can  make  things 
make  themselves." 

But  people  do  not  yet  believe  that  Mother  Carey 
is  as  clever  as  all  that  comes  to ;  and  they  will  not  till 
they,  too,  go  the  journey  to  the  Other-end-of-Nowhere. 

"  And  now,  my  pretty  little  man,"  said  Mother 
Carey,  "  you  are  sure  you  know  the  way  to  the  Other- 
end-of-Nowhere  ? " 

Tom  thought ;  and  behold,  he  had  forgotten  it 
utterly. 

"  That  is  because  you  took  your  eyes  off  me." 
T 


274  ■  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

Tom  looked  at  her  again,  and  recollected ;  and  then 
looked  away,  and  forgot  in  an  instant. 

"  But  what  am  I  to  do,  ma'am  ?  For  I  can't  keep 
looking  at  you  when  I  am  somewhere  else." 

"  You  must  do  without  me,  as  most  people  have  to 
do,  for  nine  hundred  and  ninety -nine  thousandths  of 
their  lives ;  and  look  at  the  dog  instead ;  for  he  knows 
the  way  well  enough,  and  will  not  forget  it.  Besides, 
you  may  meet  some  very  queer-tempered  people  there, 
who  will  not  let  you  pass  without  this  passport  of 
mine,  which  you  must  hang  round  your  neck  and 
take  care  of ;  and,  of  course,  as  the  dog  will  always  go 
behind  you,  you  must  go  the  whole  way  backward." 

"  Backward  !  "  cried  Tom.  "  Then  I  shall  not  be 
able  to  see  my  way." 

"  On  the  contrary,  if  you  look  forward,  you  will  not 
see  a  step  before  you,  and  be  certain  to  go  wrong ;  but, 
if  you  look  behind  you,  and  watch  carefully  whatever 
you  have  passed,  and  especially  keep  your  eye  on  the 
dog,  who  goes  by  instinct,  and  therefore  can't  go  wrong, 
then  you  will  know  what  is  coming  next,  as  plainly  as 
if  you  saw  it  in  a  looking-glass." 

Tom  was  very  much  astonished :  but  he  obeyed 
her,  for  he  had  learnt  always  to  believe  what  the 
fairies  told  him. 

"  So  it  is,  my  dear  child,"  said  Mother  Carey ;  "  and 
I  will  tell  you  a  story,  which  will  show  you  that  I  am 
perfectly  right,  as  it  is  my  custom  to  be. 

"  Once  on  a  time,  there  were  two  brothers.      One 


vii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  275 

was  called  Prometheus,  because  he  always  looked 
"before  him,  and  boasted  that  he  was  wise  beforehand. 
The  other  was  called  Epimetheus,  because  he  always 
looked  behind  him,  and  did  not  boast  at  all ;  but  said 
humbly,  like  the  Irishman,  that  he  had  sooner  prophesy 
after  the  event. 

"Well,  Prometheus  was  a  very  clever  fellow,  of 
course,  and  invented  all  sorts  of  wonderful  things. 
But,  unfortunately,  when  they  were  set  to  work,  to 
work  was  just  what  they  would  not  do  :  wherefore  very 
little  has  come  of  them,  and  very  little  is  left  of  them ; 
and  now  nobody  knows  what  they  were,  save  a  few 
archaeological  old  gentlemen  who  scratch  in  queer 
corners,  and  find  little  there  save  Ptinum  Fureni, 
Blaptem  Mortisagam,  Acarum  Horridum,  and  Tineam 
Laciniarum. 

"  But  Epimetheus  was  a  very  slow  fellow,  certainly, 
and  went  among  men  for  a  clod,  and  a  muff,  and  a 
milksop,  and  a  slowcoach,  and  a  bloke,  and  a  boodle, 
and  so  forth.  And  very  little  he  did,  for  many  years  : 
but  what  he  did,  he  never  had  to  do  over  again. 

"  And  what  happened  at  last  ?  There  came  to  the 
two  brothers  the  most  beautiful  creature  that  ever  was 
seen,  Pandora  by  name ;  which  means,  All  the  gifts  of 
the  Gods.  But  because  she  had  a  strange  box  in  her 
hand,  this  fanciful,  forecasting,  suspicious,  prudential, 
theoretical,  deductive,  prophesying  Prometheus,  who 
was  always  settling  what  was  going  to  happen,  would 
have  nothing  to  do  with  pretty  Pandora  and  her  box. 


276  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

"  But  Epimetheus  took  her  and  it,  as  he  took  every- 
thing that  came  ;  and  married  her  for  better  for  worse, 
as  every  man  ought,  whenever  he  has  even  the  chance 
of  a  good  wife.  And  they  opened  the  box  between 
them,  of  course,  to  see  what  was  inside :  for,  else,  of 
what  possible  use  could  it  have  been  to  them  ? 

"  And  out  flew  all  the  ills  which  flesh  is  heir  to  ; 
all  the  children  of  the  four  great  bogies,  Self-will, 
Ignorance,  Fear,  and  Dirt — for  instance : 

Measles,  Famines, 

Monks,  Quacks, 

Scarlatina,  Unpaid  bills, 

Idols,  Tight  stays, 

Hooping-coughs,  Potatoes, 

Popes,  Bad  Wine, 

Wars,  Despots, 

Peaccmongers,  Demagogues, 
And,  worst  of  all,  Naughty  Boys  and  Girls. 

But  one  thing  remained  at  the  bottom  of  the  box,  and 
that  was,  Hope. 

"  So  Epimetheus  got  a  great  deal  of  trouble,  as 
most  men  do  in  this  world :  but  he  got  the  three  best 
things  in  the  world  into  the  bargain — a  good  wife,  and 
experience,  and  hope :  while  Prometheus  had  just  as 
much  trouble,  and  a  great  deal  more  (as  you  will  hear), 
of  his  own  making ;  with  nothing  beside,  save  fancies 
spun  out  of  his  own  brain,  as  a  spider  spins  her  web 
out  of  her  stomach. 


vii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  277 

"  And  Prometheus  kept  on  looking  before  him  so 
far  ahead,  that  as  he  was  running  about  with  a  box  of 
lucifers  (which  were  the  only  useful  things  he  ever 
invented,  and  do  as  much  harm  as  good),  he  trod  on 
his  own  nose,  and  tumbled  down  (as  most  deductive 
philosophers  do),  whereby  he  set  the  Thames  on  fire ; 
and  they  have  hardly  put  it  out  again  yet.  So  he  had 
to  be  chained  to  the  top  of  a  mountain,  with  a  vulture 
by  him  to  give  him  a  peck  whenever  he  stirred,  lest 
he  should  turn  the  whole  world  upside  down  with  his 
prophecies  and  his  theories. 

"  But  stupid  old  Epimetheus  went  working  and 
grubbing  on,  with  the  help  of  his  wife  Pandora,  always 
looking  behind  him  to  see  what  had  happened,  till  he 
really  learnt  to  know  now  and  then  what  would  happen 
next ;  and  understood  so  well  which  side  his  bread 
was  buttered,  and  which  way  the  cat  jumped,  that  he 
began  to  make  things  which  would  work,  and  go  on 
working,  too  ;  to  till  and  drain  the  ground,  and  to  make 
looms,  and  ships,  and  railroads,  and  steam  ploughs,  and 
electric  telegraphs,  and  all  the  things  which  you  see  in 
the  Great  Exhibition ;  and  to  foretell  famine,  and  bad 
weather,  and  the  price  of  stocks  and  (what  is  hardest  of 
all)  the  next  vagary  of  the  great  idol  Whirligig,  which 
some  call  Public  Opinion ;  till  at  last  he  grew  as  rich 
as  a  Jew,  and  as  fat  as  a  farmer,  and  people  thought 
twice  before  they  meddled  with  him,  but  only  once  before 
they  asked  him  to  help  them;  for,  because  he  earned 
his  money  well,  he  could  afford  to  spend  it  well  likewise. 


278 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


"  And  his  cliildren  are  the  men  of  science,  who  get 
good  lasting  work  done  in  the  world ;  hut  the  children 
of  Prometheus  are  the  fanatics,  and  the  theorists,  and 
the  bigots,  and  the  bores,  and  the  noisy  windy  people, 


who  go  telling  silly  folk  wnat  will  happen,  instead  of 
looking  to  see  what  has  happened  already." 

Now,  was  not  Mother  Carey's  a  wonderful  story  ? 
And,  I  am  happy  to  say,  Tom  believed  it  every  word. 

For   so   it   happened   to   Tom    likewise.      He   was 


A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY 


279 


very  sorely  tried ;  for  though,  by  keeping  the  dog  to 
heels  (or  rather  to  toes,  for  he  had  to  walk  backward), 
he  could  see  pretty  well  which  way  the  dog  was  hunt- 
ing, yet  it  was  much  slower  work  to  go  backwards 
than  to  go  forwards.  But,  what  was  more  trying 
still,  no  sooner  had  he  got  out  of  Peacepool,  than 
there  came  running  to  him  all  the  conjurors,  fortune- 
tellers, astrologers,  prophesiers,  projectors,  prestigiators, 


as  many  as  were  in  those  parts  (and  there  are  too 
many  of  them  everywhere),  Old  Mother  Shipton  on 
her  broomstick,  with  Merlin,  Thomas  the  Ehymer, 
Gerbertus,  Eabanus  Maurus,  Nostradamus,  Zadkiel, 
Eaphael,  Moore,  Old  Nixon,  and  a  good  many  in  black 
coats  and  white  ties  who  might  have  known  better, 
considering  in  what  century  they  were  born,  all  bawl- 
ing and  screaming  at  him,  "  Look  a-head,  only  look 


280  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap,  vh 

a-head ;  and  we  will  show  you  what  man  never  saw 
before,  and  right  away  to  the  end  of  the  world ! " 

But  I  am  proud  to  say  that,  though  Tom  had  not 
been  to  Cambridge — for,  if  he  had,  he  would  have 
certainly  been  senior  wrangler — he  was  such  a  little 
dogged,  hard,  gnarly,  foursquare  brick  of  an  English 
boy,  that  he  never  turned  his  head  round  once  all  the 
way  from  Peacepool  to  the  Other -end -of- Nowhere  : 
but  kept  his  eye  on  the  dog,  and  let  him  pick  out  the 
scent,  hot  or  cold,  straight  or  crooked,  wet  or  dry,  up 
hill  or  down  dale ;  by  which  means  he  never  made  a 
single  mistake,  and  saw  all  the  wonderful  and  hitherto 
by-no-mortal-man-imagined  things,  which  it  is  my  duty 
to  relate  to  you  in  the  next  chapter. 


\ 


"  Come  to  me,  0  ye  children  ! 
For  I  hear  you  at  your  play  ; 
And  the  questions  that  perplexed  me 
Have  vanished  quite  away. 

"  Ye  open  the  Eastern  windows, 
That  look  towards  the  sun, 
"Where  thoughts  are  singing  swallows, 
And  the  brooks  of  morning  run. 


"  For  what  are  all  our  contrivings 
And  the  wisdom  of  our  books, 
When  compared  with  your  caresses, 
And  the  gladness  of  your  looks  ? 

"Ye  are  better  than  all  the  ballads 
That  ever  were  sung  or  said ; 
For  ye  are  living  poems, 
And  all  the  rest  are  dead." — Longfellow. 


CHAPTER   VIII  and  LAST 


nine 


EEE  begins  the 
never -to-be-too- 
much  -  studied 
account  of  the 
hundred  -  and  - 
ninety -ninth  part  of 
the  wonderful  things 
which  Tom  saw  on 
his  journey  to  the 
Other  -  end  -  of  -  No  - 
where ;  which  all  good 
little  children  are  re- 
quested to  read;  that, 
if  ever  they  get  to  the 
Other-end-of -Nowhere, 
as  they  may  very  prob- 
ably do,  they  may  not 
burst  out  laughing,  or  try  to  run  away,  or  do  any 
other  silly  vulgar  thing  which  may  offend  Mrs. 
Bedonebyasyoudid. 

Now,  as  soon  as  Tom  had  left  Peacepool,  he  came 


284  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

to  the  white  lap  of  the  great  sea-mother,  ten  thousand 
fathoms  deep;  where  she  makes  world -pap  all  day 
long,  for  the  steam-giants  to  knead,  and  the  fire-giants 
to  bake,  till  it  has  risen  and  hardened  into  mountain- 
loaves  and  island-cakes. 

And  there  Tom  was  very  near  being  kneaded  up 
in  the  world- pap,  and  turned  into  a  fossil  water-baby ; 
which  would  have  astonished  the  Geological  Society 
of  New  Zealand  some  hundreds  of  thousands  of  years 
hence. 

For,  as  he  walked  along  in  the  silence  of  the  sea- 
twilight,  on  the  soft  white  ocean  floor,  he  was  aware  of 
a  hissing,  and  a  roaring,  and  a  thumping,  and  a  pump- 
ing, as  of  all  the  steam-engines  in  the  world  at  once. 
And,  when  he  came  near,  the  water  grew  boiling-hot ; 
not  that  that  hurt  him  in  the  least :  but  it  also  grew 
as  foul  as  gruel ;  and  every  moment  he  stumbled  over 
dead  shells,  and  fish,  and  sharks,  and  seals,  and  whales, 
which  had  been  killed  by  the  hot  water. 

And  at  last  he  came  to  the  great  sea-serpent  him- 
self, lying  dead  at  the  bottom ;  and  as  he  was  too 
thick  to  scramble  over,  Tom  had  to  walk  round  him 
three-quarters  of  a  mile  and  more,  which  put  him  out 
of  his  path  sadly ;  and,  when  he  had  got  round,  he 
came  to  the  place  called  Stop.  And  there  he  stopped, 
and  just  in  time. 

For  he  was  on  the  edge  of  a  vast  hole  in  the 
bottom  of  the  sea,  up  which  was  rushing  and  roaring 
clear   steam   enough   to  work  all  the  engines  in  the 


vin  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  285 

world  at  once ;  so  clear,  indeed,  that  it  was  quite 
light  at  moments ;  and  Tom  could  see  almost  up  to 
the  top  of  the  water  above,  and  down  below  into  the 
pit  for  nobody  knows  how  far. 

But,  as  soon  as  he  bent  his  head  over  the  edge,  he 
got  such  a  rap  on  the  nose  from  pebbles,  that  he 
jumped  back  again  ;  for  the  steam,  as  it  rushed  up, 
rasped  away  the  sides  of  the  hole,  and  hurled  it  up 
into  the  sea  in  a  shower  of  mud  and  gravel  and  ashes ; 
and  then  it  spread  all  around,  and  sank  again,  and 
covered  in  the  dead  fish  so  fast,  that  before  Tom  had 
stood  there  five  minutes  he  was  buried  in  silt  up  to 
his  ankles,  and  began  to  be  afraid  that  he  should  have 
been  buried  alive. 

And  perhaps  he  would  have  been,  but  that  while 
he  was  thinking,  the  whole  piece  of  ground  on  which 
he  stood  was  torn  off  and  blown  upwards,  and  away 
flew  Tom  a  mile  up  through  the  sea,  wondering  what 
was  coming  next. 

At  last  he  stopped — thump  !  and  found  himself 
tight  in  the  legs  of  the  most  wonderful  bogy  which  he 
had  ever  seen. 

It  had  I  don't  know  how  many  wings,  as  big  as 
the  sails  of  a  windmill,  and  spread  out  in  a  ring  like 
them  ;  and  with  them  it  hovered  over  the  steam  which 
rushed  up,  as  a  ball  hovers  over  the  top  of  a  fountain. 
And  for  every  wing  above  it  had  a  leg  below,  with  a 
claw  like  a  comb  at  the  tip,  and  a  nostril  at  the  root ; 
and  in  the  middle  it  had  no  stomach  and  one  eye  ;  and 


286  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

as  for  its  mouth,  that  was  all  on  one  side,  as  the 
madreporiform  tubercle  in  a  star-fish  is.  "Well,  it  was 
a  very  strange  beast ;  but  no  stranger  than  some  dozens 
which  you  may  see. 

"  What  do  you  want  here,"  it  cried  quite  peevishly, 
"  getting  in  my  way  ? "  and  it  tried  to  drop  Tom  :  but 
he  held  on  tight  to  its  claws,  thinking  himself  safer 
where  he  was. 

So  Tom  told  him  who  he  was,  and  what  his  errand 
was.      And  the  thing  winked  its  one  eye,  and  sneered : 

"  I  am  too  old  to  be  taken  in  in  that  way.  You 
are  come  after  gold — I  know  you  are." 

"Gold!  What  is  gold?"  And  really  Tom  did 
not  know;  but  the  suspicious  old  bogy  would  not 
believe  him. 

But  after  a  while  Tom  began  to  understand  a  little. 
For,  as  the  vapours  came  up  out  of  the  hole,  the  bogy 
smelt  them  with  his  nostrils,  and  combed  them  and 
sorted  them  with  his  combs ;  and  then,  when  they 
steamed  up  through  them  against  his  wings,  they  were 
changed  into  showers  and  streams  of  metal.  From 
one  wing  fell  gold-dust,  and  from  another  silver,  and 
from  another  copper,  and  from  another  tin,  and  from 
another  lead,  and  so  on,  and  sank  into  the  soft  mud, 
into  veins  and  cracks,  and  hardened  there.  Whereby 
it  comes  to  pass  that  the  rocks  are  full  of  metal. 

But,  all  of  a  sudden,  somebody  shut  off  the  steam 
below,  and  the  hole  was  left  empty  in  an  instant : 
and  then  down  rushed  the  water  into  the  hole,  in  such 


vin  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  287 

a  whirlpool  that  the  bogy  spun  round  and  round  as 
fast  as  a  teetotum.  But  that  was  all  in  his  day's 
work,  like  a  fair  fall  with  the  hounds ;  so  all  he  did 
was  to  say  to  Tom — 

"  Now  is  your  time,  youngster,  to  get  down,  if  you 
are  in  earnest,  which  I  don't  believe." 

"  You'll  soon  see,"  said  Tom ;  and  away  he  went, 
as  bold  as  Baron  Munchausen,  and  shot  down  the  rush- 
ing cataract  like  a  salmon  at  Ballisodare. 

And,  when  he  got  to  the  bottom,  he  swam  till 
he  was  washed  on  shore  safe  upon  the  Other -end - 
of- Nowhere ;  and  he  found  it,  to  his  surprise,  as 
most  other  people  do,  much  more  like  This-End- 
of- Somewhere  than  he  had  been  in  the  habit  of 
expecting. 

And  first  he  went  through  Waste-paper-land,  where 
all  the  stupid  books  lie  in  heaps,  up  hill  and  down 
dale,  like  leaves  in  a  winter  wood ;  and  there  he  saw 
people  digging  and  grubbing  among  them,  to  make 
worse  books  out  of  bad  ones,  and  thrashing  chaff  to 
save  the  dust  of  it ;  and  a  very  good  trade  they  drove 
thereby,  especially  among  children. 

Then  he  went  by  the  sea  of  slops,  to  the  mountain 
of  messes,  and  the  territory  of  tuck,  where  the  ground 
was  very  sticky,  for  it  was  all  made  of  bad  toffee  (not 
Everton  toffee,  of  course),  and  full  of  deep  cracks  and 
holes  choked  with  wind-fallen  fruit,  and  green  goose- 
berries, and  sloes,  and  crabs,  and  whinberries,  and  hips 
and  haws,  and  all  the  nasty  things  which  little  children 


288  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

will  eat,  if  they  can  get  them.  But  the  fairies  hide 
them  out  of  the  way  in  that  country  as  fast  as  they 
can,  and  very  hard  work  they  have,  and  of  very  little 
use  it  is.  For  as  fast  as  they  hide  away  the  old 
trash,  foolish  and  wicked  people  make  fresh  trash  full 
of  lime  and  poisonous  paints,  and  actually  go  and  steal 
receipts  out  of  old  Madame  Science's  big  book  to 
invent  poisons  for  little  children,  and  sell  them  at 
wakes  and  fairs  and  tuck-shops.  Very  well.  Let 
them  go  on.  Dr.  Letheby  and  Dr.  Hassall  cannot 
catch  them,  though  they  are  setting  traps  for  them  all 
day  long.  But  the  Fairy  with  the  birch-rod  will  catch 
them  all  in  time,  and  make  them  begin  at  one  corner 
of  their  shops,  and  eat  their  way  out  at  the  other :  by 
which  time  they  will  have  got  such  stomach-aches  as 
will  cure  them  of  poisoning  little  children. 

Next  he  saw  all  the  little  people  in  the  world, 
writing  all  the  little  books  in  the  world,  about  all  the 
other  little  people  in  the  world ;  probably  because 
they  had  no  great  people  to  write  about :  and  if  the 
names  of  the  books  were  not  Squeeky,  nor  the  Pump- 
lighter,  nor  the  Narrow  Narrow  World,  nor  the  Hills 
of  the  Chattermuch,  nor  the  Children's  Twaddeday, 
why  then  they  were  something  else.  And  all  the  rest 
of  the  little  people  in  the  world  read  the  books,  and 
thought  themselves  each  as  good  as  the  President ;  and 
perhaps  they  were  right,  for  every  one  knows  his  own 
business  best.  But  Tom  thought  he  would  sooner 
have   a  jolly  good  fairy  tale,  about  Jack   the   Giant- 


vin  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  289 

killer  or  Beauty  and  the  Beast,  which  taught  him 
something  that  he  didn't  know  already. 

And  next  he  came  to  the  centre  of  Creation  (the 
hub,  they  call  it  there),  which  lies  in  latitude  4  2 '21° 
south,  and  longitude  108-56°  east. 

And  there  he  found  all  the  wise  people  instructing 
mankind  in  the  science  of  spirit-rapping,  while  their 
house  was  burning  over  their  heads :  and  when  Tom 
told  them  of  the  fire,  they  held  an  indignation  meeting 
forthwith,  and  unanimously  determined  to  hang  Tom's 
dog  for  coming  into  their  country  with  gunpowder  in 
his  mouth.  Tom  couldn't  help  saying  that  though 
they  did  fancy  they  had  carried  all  the  wit  away 
with  them  out  of  Lincolnshire  two  hundred  years  ago, 
yet  if  they  had  had  one  such  Lincolnshire  nobleman 
among  them  as  good  old  Lord  Yarborough,  he  would 
have  called  for  the  fire-engines  before  he  hanged  other 
people's  dogs.  But  it  was  of  no  use,  and  the  dog  was 
hanged:  and  Tom  couldn't  even  have  his  carcase;  for 
they  had  abolished  the  have -his -carcase  act  in  that 
country,  for  fear  lest  when  rogues  fell  out,  honest  men 
should  come  by  their  own.  And  so  they  would  have 
succeeded  perfectly,  as  they  always  do,  only  that  (as 
they  also  always  do  they  failed  in  one  little  particular, 
viz.  that  the  dog  would  not  die,  being  a  water-dog, 
but  bit  their  fingers  so  abominably  that  they  were 
forced  to  let  him  go,  and  Tom  likewise,  as  British 
subjects.  Whereon  they  recommenced  rapping  for  the 
spirits  of  their  fathers ;  and  very  much  astonished  the 


290  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

poor  old  spirits  were  when  they  came,  and  saw  how, 
according  to  the  laws  of  Mrs.  Bedonebyasyoudid,  their 
descendants  had  weakened  their  constitution  by  hard 
living. 

Then  came  Tom  to  the  Island  of  Polupragmosyne 
(which  some  call  Kogues'  Harbour ;  but  they  are 
wrong;  for  that  is  in  the  middle  of  Bramshill  Bushes, 
and  the  county  police  have  cleared  it  out  long  ago). 
There  every  one  knows  his  neighbour's  business  better 
than  his  own ;  and  a  very  noisy  place  it  is,  as  might 
be  expected,  considering  that  all  the  inhabitants  are 
ex  officio  on  the  wrong  side  of  the  house  in  the 
"  Parliament  of  Man,  and  the  Federation  of  the  World ; " 
and  are  always  making  wry  mouths,  and  crying  that 
the  fairies'  grapes  were  sour. 

There  Tom  saw  ploughs  drawing  horses,  nails  driv- 
ing hammers,  birds'  nests  taking  boys,  books  making 
authors,  bulls  keeping  china-shops,  monkeys  shaving 
cats,  dead  dogs  drilling  live  lions,  blind  brigadiers 
shelfed  as  principals  of  colleges,  play-actors  not  in  the 
least  shelfed  as  popular  preachers ;  and,  in  short,  every 
one  set  to  do  something  which  he  had  not  learnt, 
because  in  what  he  had  learnt,  or  pretended  to  learn, 
he  had  failed. 

There  stands  the  Pantheon  of  the  Great  Unsuccess- 
ful, from  the  builders  of  the  Tower  of  Babel  to  those 
of  the  Trafalgar  Fountains  ;  in  which  politicians  lecture 
on  the  constitutions  which  ought  to  have  marched, 
conspirators  on  the  revolutions  which  ought  to  have 


vin  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  291 

succeeded,  economists  on  the  schemes  which  ought  to 
have  made  every  one's  fortune,  and  projectors  on  the 
discoveries  which  ought  to  have  set  the  Thames  on 
fire.  There  cobblers  lecture  on  orthopedy  (whatsoever 
that  may  be)  because  they  cannot  sell  their  shoes  ;  and 
poets  on  ^Esthetics  (whatsoever  that  may  be)  because 
they  cannot  sell  their  poetry.  There  philosophers 
demonstrate  that  England  would  be  the  freest  and 
richest  country  in  the  world,  if  she  would  only  turn 
Papist  again ;  penny-a-liners  abuse  the  Times,  because 
they  have  not  wit  enough  to  get  on  its  staff;  and 
young  ladies  walk  about  with  lockets  of  Charles  the 
First's  hair  (or  of  somebody  else's,  when  the  Jews' 
genuine  stock  is  used  up),  inscribed  with  the  neat  and 
appropriate  legend — which  indeed  is  popular  through 
all  that  land,  and  which,  I  hope,  you  will  learn  to 
translate  in  due  time  and  to  perpend  likewise : — 

"  Victrix  causa  diis  placuit,  sed  victa  puellis." 

When  he  got  into  the  middle  of  the  town,  they  all 
set  on  him  at  once,  to  show  him  his  way ;  or  rather, 
to  show  him  that  he  did  not  know  his  way ;  for  as  for 
asking  him  what  way  he  wanted  to  go,  no  one  ever 
thought  of  that. 

But  one  pulled  him  hither,  and  another  poked  him 
thither,  and  a  third  cried — 

"  You  mustn't  go  west,  I  tell  you ;  it  is  destruction 
to  go  west." 

"  But  I  am  not  going  west,  as  you  may  see,"  said  Tom. 


292  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

And  another,  "  The  east  lies  here,  my  dear ;  I 
assure  you  this  is  the  east." 

"  But  I  don't  want  to  go  east,"  said  Tom. 

"  Well,  then,  at  all  events,  whichever  way  you  are 
going,  you  are  going  wrong,"  cried  they  all  with  one 
voice — which  was  the  only  thing  which  they  ever 
agreed  about ;  and  all  pointed  at  once  to  all  the 
thirty- and-t wo  points  of  the  compass,  till  Tom  thought 
all  the  sign-posts  in  England  had  got  together,  and 
fallen  fighting. 

And  whether  he  would  have  ever  escaped  out  of 
the  town,  it  is  hard  to  say,  if  the  dog  had  not  taken  it 
into  his  head  that  they  were  going  to  pull  his  master 
in  pieces,  and  tackled  them  so  sharply  about  the 
gastrocnemius  muscle,  that  he  gave  them  some  business 
of  their  own  to  think  of  at  last ;  and  while  they  were 
rubbing  their  bitten  calves,  Tom  and  the  dog  got  safe 
away. 

On  the  borders  of  that  island  he  found  Gotham, 
where  the  wise  men  live;  the  same  who  dragged  the 
pond  because  the  moon  had  fallen  into  it,  and  planted 
a  hedge  round  the  cuckoo,  to  keep  spring  all  the  year. 
And  he  found  them  bricking  up  the  town  gate,  because 
it  was  so  wide  that  little  folks  could  not  get  through. 
And,  when  he  asked  why,  they  told  him  they  were 
expanding  their  liturgy.  So  he  went  on ;  for  it  was 
no  business  of  his  :  only  he  could  not  help  saying  that 
in  his  country,  if  the  kitten  could  not  get  in  at  the 
same  hole  as  the  cat,  she  might  stay  outside  and  mew. 


vni  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  293 

But  he  saw  the  end  of  such  fellows,  when  he  came 
to  the  island  of  the  Golden  Asses,  where  nothing  but 
thistles  grow.  For  there  they  were  all  turned  into 
mokes  with  ears  a  yard  long,  for  meddling  with  matters 
which  they  do  not  understand,  as  Lucius  did  in  the 
story.  And  like  him,  mokes  they  must  remain,  till, 
by  the  laws  of  development,  the  thistles  develop  into 
roses.  Till  then,  they  must  comfort  themselves  with 
the  thought,  that  the  longer  their  ears  are,  the  thicker 
their  hides ;  and  so  a  good  beating  don't  hurt  them. 

Then  came  Tom  to  the  great  land  of  Hearsay,  in 
which  are  no  less  than  thirty  and  odd  kings,  beside 
half  a  dozen  Eepublics,  and  perhaps  more  by  next 
mail. 

And  there  he  fell  in  with  a  deep,  dark,  deadly,  and 
destructive  war,  waged  by  the  princes  and  potentates 
of  those  parts,  both  spiritual  and  temporal,  against 
what  do  you  think  ?  One  thing  I  am  sure  of.  That 
unless  I  told  you,  you  would  never  know ;  nor  how 
they  waged  that  war  either ;  for  all  their  strategy  and 
art  military  consisted  in  the  safe  and  easy  process  of 
stopping  their  ears  and  screaming,  "  Oh,  don't  tell  us  ! " 
and  then  running  away. 

So  when  Tom  came  into  that  land,  he  found  them 
all,  high  and  low,  man,  woman,  and  child,  running  for 
their  lives  day  and  night  continually,  and  entreating 
not  to  be  told  they  didn't  know  what :  only  the  land 
being  an  island,  and  they  having  a  dislike  to  the  water 
(being  a  musty  lot  for  the  most  part),  they  ran  round 


294  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

and  round  the  shore  for  ever,  which  (as  the  island  was 
exactly  of  the  same  circumference  as  the  planet  on 
which  we  have  the  honour  of  living)  was  hard  work, 
especially  to  those  who  had  business  to  look  after. 
But  before  them,  as  bandmaster  and  fugleman,  ran  a 
gentleman  shearing  a  pig ;  the  melodious  strains  of 
which  animal  led  them  for  ever,  if  not  to  conquest, 
still  to  flight ;  and  kept  up  their  spirits  mightily  with 
the  thought  that  they  would  at  least  have  the  pig's 
wool  for  their  pains. 

And  running  after  them,  day  and  night,  came  such 
a  poor,  lean,  seedy,  hard-worked  old  giant,  as  ought  to 
have  been  cockered  up,  and  had  a  good  dinner  given 
him,  and  a  good  wife  found  him,  and  been  set  to  play 
with  little  children ;  and  then  he  would  have  been  a 
very  presentable  old  fellow  after  all ;  for  he  had  a  heart, 
though  it  was  considerably  overgrown  with  brains. 

He  was  made  up  principally  of  fish  bones  and 
parchment,  put  together  with  wire  and  Canada  balsam  ; 
and  smelt  strongly  of  spirits,  though  he  never  drank 
anything  but  water :  but  spirits  he  used  somehow, 
there  was  no  denying.  He  had  a  great  pair  of  spec- 
tacles on  his  nose,  and  a  butterfly- net  in  one  hand, 
and  a  geological  hammer  in  the  other;  and  was  hung 
all  over  with  pockets,  full  of  collecting  boxes,  bottles, 
microscopes,  telescopes,  barometers,  ordnance  maps, 
scalpels,  forceps,  photographic  apparatus,  and  all  other 
tackle  for  finding  out  everything  about  everything, 
and  a  little  more  too.      And,  most  strange  of  all,  he 


vni  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  295 

was  running  not  forwards  but  backwards,  as  fast  as  he 
could. 

Away  all  the  good  folks  ran  from  him,  except  Tom, 
who  stood  his  ground  and  dodged  between  his  legs ; 
and  the  giant,  when  he  had  passed  him,  looked  down, 
and  cried,  as  if  he  was  quite  pleased  and  comforted, — 

"  What  ?  who  are  you  ?  And  you  actually  don't 
run  away,  like  all  the  rest  ? "  But  he  had  to  take 
his  spectacles  off,  Tom  remarked,  in  order  to  see  him 
plainly. 

Tom  told  him  who  he  was ;  and  the  giant  pulled 
out  a  bottle  and  a  cork  instantly,  to  collect  him  with. 

But  Tom  was  too  sharp  for  that,  and  dodged 
between  his  legs  and  in  front  of  him ;  and  then  the 
giant  could  not  see  him  at  all. 

"  No,  no,  no  ! "  said  Tom,  "  I've  not  been  round  the 
world,  and  through  the  world,  and  up  to  Mother  Carey's 
haven,  beside  being  caught  in  a  net  and  called  a 
Holothurian  and  a  Cephalopod,  to  be  bottled  up  by 
any  old  giant  like  you." 

And  when  the  giant  understood  what  a  great 
traveller  Tom  had  been,  he  made  a  truce  with  him  at 
once,  and  would  have  kept  him  there  to  this  day  to 
pick  his  brains,  so  delighted  was  he  at  finding  any  one 
to  tell  him  what  he  did  not  know  before. 

"  Ah,  you  lucky  little  dog  ! "  said  he  at  last,  quite 
simply — for  he  was  the  simplest,  pleasantest,  honestest, 
kindliest  old  Dominie  Sampson  of  a  giant  that  ever 
turned  the  world  upside  down  without  intending  it — 


296  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

"  ah.,  you  lucky  little  dog !  If  I  had  only  been  where 
you  have  been,  to  see  what  you  have  seen ! " 

"  Well,"  said  Tom,  "  if  you  want  to  do  that,  you 
had  best  put  your  head  under  water  for  a  few  hours, 
as  I  did,  and  turn  into  a  water -baby,  or  some  other 
baby,  and  then  you  might  have  a  chance." 

"  Turn  into  a  baby,  eh  ?  If  I  could  do  that,  and 
know  what  was  happening  to  me  for  but  one  hour,  I 
should  know  everything  then,  and  be  at  rest.  But  I 
can't ;  I  can't  be  a  little  child  again ;  and  I  suppose 
if  I  could,  it  would  be  no  use,  because  then  I  should 
then  know  nothing  about  what  was  happening  to  me. 
Ah,  you  lucky  little  dog  ! "  said  the  poor  old  giant. 

"  But  why  do  you  run  after  all  these  poor  people  ? " 
said  Tom,  who  liked  the  giant  very  much. 

"  My  dear,  it's  they  that  have  been  running  after 
me,  father  and  son,  for  hundreds  and  hundreds  of  years, 
throwing  stones  at  me  till  they  have  knocked  off  my 
spectacles  fifty  times,  and  calling  me  a  malignant  and 
a  turbaned  Turk,  who  beat  a  Venetian  and  traduced 
the  State — goodness  only  knows  what  they  mean,  for 
I  never  read  poetry — and  hunting  me  round  and  round 
— though  catch  me  they  can't,  for  every  time  I  go 
over  the  same  ground,  I  go  the  faster,  and  grow  the 
bigger.  "While  all  I  want  is  to  be  friends  with  them, 
and  to  tell  them  something  to  their  advantage,  like 
Mr.  Joseph  Ady :  only  somehow  they  are  so  strangely 
afraid  of  hearing  it.  But,  I  suppose  I  am  not  a  man 
of  the  world,  and  have  no  tact." 


viii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  297 

"  But  why  don't  you  turn  round  and  tell  them  so  ? " 

"  Because  I  can't.  You  see,  I  am  one  of  the  sons 
of  Epimetheus,  and  must  go  backwards,  if  I  am  to  go 
at  all." 

"  But  why  don't  you  stop,  and  let  them  come  up 
to  you  ? " 

"Why,  my  dear,  only  think.  If  I  did,  all  the 
butterflies  and  cockyolybirds  would  fly  past  me,  and 
then  I  should  catch  no  more  new  species,  and  should 
grow  rusty  and  mouldy,  and  die.  And  I  don't  intend 
to  do  that,  my  dear ;  for  I  have  a  destiny  before  me, 
they  say :  though  what  it  is  I  don't  know,  and  don't 
care." 

"Don't  care?"  said  Tom. 

"No.  Do  the  duty  which  lies  nearest  you,  and 
catch  the  first  beetle  you  come  across,  is  my  motto ; 
and  I  have  thriven  by  it  for  some  hundred  years. 
Now  I  must  go  on.  Dear  me,  while  I  have  been  talk- 
ing to  you,  at  least  nine  new  species  have  escaped  me." 

And  on  went  the  giant,  behind  before,  like  a  bull 
in  a  china -shop,  till  he  ran  into  the  steeple  of  the 
great  idol  temple  (for  they  are  all  idolaters  in  those 
parts,  of  course,  else  they  would  never  be  afraid  of 
giants),  and  knocked  the  upper  half  clean  off,  hurting 
himself  horribly  about  the  small  of  the  back. 

But  little  he  cared ;  for  as  soon  as  the  ruins  of  the 
steeple  were  well  between  his  legs,  he  poked  and  peered 
among  the  falling  stones,  and  shifted  his  spectacles,  and 
pulled  out  his  pocket-magnifier,  and  cried — 


298  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

"An  entirely  new  Oniscus,  and  three  obscure 
Podurellse !  Besides  a  moth  which  M.  le  Eoi  des 
Papillons  (though  he,  like  all  Frenchmen,  is  given  to 
hasty  inductions)  says  is  confined  to  the  limits  of  the 
Glacial  Drift.      This  is  most  important ! " 

And  down  he  sat  on  the  nave  of  the  temple  (not 
being  a  man  of  the  world)  to  examine  his  Podurellse. 
Whereon  (as  was  to  be  expected)  the  roof  caved  in 
bodily,  smashing  the  idols,  and  sending  the  priests 
flying  out  of  doors  and  windows,  like  rabbits  out  of  a 
burrow  when  a  ferret  goes  in. 

But  he  never  heeded ;  for  out  of  the  dust  flew  a 
bat,  and  the  giant  had  him  in  a  moment. 

"  Dear  me  !  This  is  even  more  important !  Here 
is  a  cognate  species  to  that  which  Macgilliwaukie 
Brown  insists  is  confined  to  the  Buddhist  temples  of 
Little  Thibet ;  and  now  when  I  look  at  it,  it  may  be 
only  a  variety  produced  by  difference  of  climate ! " 

And  having  bagged  his  bat,  up  he  got,  and  on  he 
went ;  while  all  the  people  ran,  being  in  none  the 
better  humour  for  having  their  temple  smashed  for 
the  sake  of  three  obscure  species  of  Podurella,  and  a 
Buddhist  bat. 

"  Well,"  thought  Tom,  "  this  is  a  very  pretty 
quarrel,  with  a  good  deal  to  be  said  on  both  sides. 
But  it  is  no  business  of  mine." 

And  no  more  it  was,  because  he  was  a  water-baby, 
and  had  the  original  sow  by  the  right  ear;  which-  you 
will  never  have,  unless  you  be  a  baby,  whether  of  the 


viii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  299 

water,  the  land,  or  the  air,  matters  not,  provided  you 
can  only  keep  on  continually  being  a  baby. 

So  the  giant  ran  round  after  the  people,  and  the 
people  ran  round  after  the  giant,  and  they  are  running 
unto  this  day  for  aught  I  know,  or  do  not  know ;  and 
will  run  till  either  he,  or  they,  or  both,  turn  into  little 
children.  And  then,  as  Shakespeare  says  (and  therefore 
it  must  be  true) — 

"  Jack  shall  have  Gill 

Nought  shall  go  ill 

The  man  shall  have  his  mare  again,  and  all  go  well." 

Then  Tom  came  to  a  very  famous  island,  which 
was  called,  in  the  days  of  the  great  traveller  Captain 
Gulliver,  the  Isle  of  Laputa.  But  Mrs.  Bedonebyas- 
youdid  has  named  it  over  again,  the  Isle  of  Tomtoddies, 
all  heads  and  no  bodies. 

And  when  Tom  came  near  it,  he  heard  such  a 
grumbling  and  grunting  and  growling  and  wailing  and 
weeping  and  whining  that  he  thought  people  must  be 
ringing  little  pigs,  or  cropping  puppies'  ears,  or  drown- 
ing kittens :  but  when  he  came  nearer  still,  he  began  to 
hear  words  among  the  noise ;  which  was  the  Tomtoddies' 
song  which  they  sing  morning  and  evening,  and  all 
night  too,  to  their  great  idol  Examination — 

"  /  can't  learn  my  lesson  :  the  examiner's  coming  !  " 

And  that  was  the  only  song  which  they  knew. 

And  when  Tom  got  on  shore  the  first  thing  he  saw 


300  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

was  a  great  pillar,  on  one  side  of  which  was  inscribed, 
"  Playthings  not  allowed  here ; "  at  which  he  was  so 
shocked  that  he  would  not  stay  to  see  what  was  written 
on  the  other  side.  Then  he  looked  round  for  the 
people  of  the  island :  but  instead  of  men,  women,  and 
children,  he  found  nothing  but  turnips  and  radishes, 
beet  and  mangold  wurzel,  without  a  single  green  leaf 
amoug  them,  and  half  of  them  burst  and  decayed,  with 
toad-stools  growing  out  of  them.  Those  which  were 
left  began  crying  to  Tom,  in  half  a  dozen  different 
languages  at  once,  and  all  of  them  badly  spoken,  "  I 
can't  learn  my  lesson  ;  do  come  and  help  me  !  "  And 
one  cried,  "  Can  you  show  me  how  to  extract  this 
square  root  ? " 

And  another,  "  Can  you  tell  me  the  distance  be- 
tween a  Lyrse  and  jB  Camelopardis  ? " 

And  another,  "What  is  the  latitude  and  longitude 
of  Snooksville,  in  Noman's  County,  Oregon,  U.S.  ?  " 

And  another,  "  "What  was  the  name  of  Mutius 
Scsevola's  thirteenth  cousin's  grandmother's  maid's 
cat  ? " 

And  another,  "  How  long  would  it  take  a  school- 
inspector  of  average  activity  to  tumble  head  over  heels 
from  London  to  York  ?  " 

And  another,  "  Can  you  tell  me  the  name  of  a  place 
that  nobody  ever  heard  of,  where  nothing  ever  hap- 
pened, in  a  country  which  has  not  been  discovered  yet?" 

And  another,  "  Can  you  show  me  how  to  correct 
this   hopelessly  corrupt   passage    of    Graidiocolosyrtus 


vin  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  301 

Tabenniticus,  on  the  cause  "why  crocodiles  have  no 
tongues  ? " 

And  so  on,  and  so  on,  and  so  on,  till  one  would 
have  thought  they  were  all  trying  for  tide-waiters' 
places,  or  cornetcies  in  the  heavy  dragoons. 

"And  what  good  on  earth  will  it  do  you  if  I  did 
tell  you  ?  "  quoth  Tom. 

Well,  they  didn't  know  that :  all  they  knew  was 
the  examiner  was  coming. 

Then  Tom  stumbled  on  the  hugest  and  softest 
nimblecomequick  turnip  you  ever  saw  filling  a  hole  in 
a  crop  of  swedes,  and  it  cried  to  him,  "  Can  you  tell 
me  anything  at  all  about  anything  you  like  ? " 

"  About  what  ?  "  says  Tom. 

"  About  anything  you  like ;  for  as  fast  as  I  learn 
things  I  forget  them  again.  So  my  mamma  says  that 
my  intellect  is  not  adapted  for  methodic  science,  and 
says  that  I  must  go  in  for  general  information." 

Tom  told  him  that  he  did  not  know  general  in- 
formation, nor  any  officers  in  the  army ;  only  he  had 
a  friend  once  that  went  for  a  drummer :  but  he  could 
tell  him  a  great  many  strange  things  which  he  had  seen 
in  his  travels. 

So  he  told  him  prettily  enough,  while  the  poor 
turnip  listened  very  carefully  ;  and  the  more  he 
listened,  the  more  he  forgot,  and  the  more  water  ran 
out  of  him. 

Tom  thought  he  was  crying :  but  it  was  only  his 
poor  brains  running  away,  from  being  worked  so  hard ; 


302 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


and  as  Tom  talked,  the  unhappy  turnip  streamed  down 
all  over  with  juice,  and  split  and  shrank  till  nothing 

was  left  of  him  but 
rind  and  water ;  where- 
at Tom  ran  away  in  a 
fright,  for  he  thought 
he  might  be  taken  up 
for  killing  the  turnip. 

But,  on  the  contrary, 
the  turnip's  parents 
were  highly  delighted, 
and  considered  him  a 
saint  and  a  martyr, 
and  put  up  a  long  in- 
scription over  his  tomb 
about  his  wonderful  talents,  early  development,  and 
unparalleled  precocity.  Were  they  not  a  foolish 
couple  ?  But  there  was  a  still  more  foolish  couple 
next  to  them,  who  were  beating  a  wretched  little 
radish,  no  bigger  than  my  thumb,  for  sullenness  and 
obstinacy  and  wilful  stupidity,  and  never  knew  that 
the  reason  why  it  couldn't  learn  or  hardly  even  speak 
was,  that  there  was  a  great  worm  inside  it  eating  out 
all  its  brains.  But  even  they  are  no  foolisher  than 
some  hundred  score  of  papas  and  mammas,  who  fetch 
the  rod  when  they  ought  to  fetch  a  new  toy,  and  send 
to  the  dark  cupboard  instead  of  to  the  doctor. 

Tom  was    so   puzzled   and  frightened  with  all  he 
saw,  that  he  was  longing  to  ask  the  meaning  of   it ; 


viii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOE,  A  LAND-BABY  303 

and  at  last  he  stumbled  over  a  respectable  old  stick 
lying  half  covered  with  earth.  But  a  very  stout  and 
worthy  stick  it  was,  for  it  belonged  to  good  Eoger 
Ascham  in  old  time,  and  had  carved  on  its  head  King 
Edward  the  Sixth,  with  the  Bible  in  his  hand. 

"  You  see,"  said  the  stick,  "  there  were  as  pretty 
little  children  once  as  you  could  wish  to  see,  and 
might  have  been  so  still  if  they  had  been  only  left  to 
grow  up  like  human  beings,  and  then  handed  over  to 
me ;  but  their  foolish  fathers  and  mothers,  instead  of 
letting  them  pick  flowers,  and  make  dirt-pies,  and  get 
birds'  nests,  and  dance  round  the  gooseberry  bush,  as 
little  children  should,  kept  them  always  at  lessons, 
working,  working,  working,  learning  week-day  lessons 
all  week-days,  and  Sunday  lessons  all  Sunday,  and 
weekly  examinations  every  Saturday,  and  monthly 
examinations  every  month,  and  yearly  examinations 
every  year,  everything  seven  times  over,  as  if  once 
was  not  enough,  and  enough  as  good  as  a  feast — till 
their  brains  grew  big,  and  their  bodies  grew  small,  and 
they  were  all  changed  into  turnips,  with  little  but 
water  inside ;  and  still  their  foolish  parents  actually 
pick  the  leaves  off  them  as  fast  as  they  grow,  lest  they 
should  have  anything  green  about  them." 

"  Ah  ! "  said  Tom,  "  if  dear  Mrs.  Doasyouwouldbe- 
doneby  knew  of  it  she  would  send  them  a  lot  of  tops, 
and  balls,  and  marbles,  and  ninepins,  and  make  them 
all  as  jolly  as  sand-boys." 

"  It  would  be  no  use,"  said  the  stick.      "  They  can't 


304  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

play  now,  if  they  tried.  Don't  you  see  how  their  legs 
have  turned  to  roots  and  grown  into  the  ground,  by 
never  taking  any  exercise,  but  sapping  and  moping 
always  in  the  same  place  ?  But  here  comes  the 
Examiner -of- all -Examiners.  So  you  had  better  get 
away,  I  warn  you,  or  he  will  examine  you  and  your 
dog  into  the  bargain,  and  set  him  to  examine  all  the 
other  dogs,  and  you  to  examine  all  the  other  water- 
babies.  There  is  no  escaping  out  of  his  hands,  for  his 
nose  is  nine  thousand  miles  long,  and  can  go  down 
chimneys,  and  through  keyholes,  upstairs,  downstairs, 
in  my  lady's  chamber,  examining  all  little  boys,  and 
the  little  boys'  tutors  likewise.  But  when  he  is 
thrashed — so  Mrs.  Bedonebyasyoudid  has  promised 
me — I  shall  have  the  thrashing  of  him :  and  if  I 
don't  lay  it  on  with  a  will  it's  a  pity." 

Tom  went  off :  but  rather  slowly  and  surlily ;  for 
he  was  somewhat  minded  to  face  this  same  Examiner- 
of-all-Examiners,  who  came  striding  among  the  poor 
turnips,  binding  heavy  burdens  and  grievous  to  be 
borne,  and  laying  them  on  little  children's  shoulders, 
like  the  Scribes  and  Pharisees  of  old,  and  not  touching 
the  same  with  one  of  his  fingers ;  for  he  had  plenty 
of  money,  and  a  fine  house  to  live  in,  and  so  forth ; 
which  was  more  than  the  poor  little  turnips  had. 

But  when  he  got  near,  he  looked  so  big  and  burly 
and  dictatorial,  and  shouted  so  loud  to  Tom,  to  come 
and  be  examined,  that  Tom  ran  for  his  life,  and  the 
dog  too.     And  really  it  was  time ;  for  the  poor  turnips, 


vni  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  305 

in  their  hurry  and  fright,  crammed  themselves  so  fast 
to  be  ready  for  the  Examiner,  that  they  burst  and 
popped  by  dozens  all  round  him,  till  the  place  sounded 
like  Aldershot  on  a  field-day,  and  Tom  thought  he 
should  be  blown  into  the  air,  dog  and  all. 

As  he  went  down  to  the  shore  he  passed  the  poor 
turnip's  new  tomb.  But  Mrs.  Bedonebyasyoudid  had 
taken  away  the  epitaph  about  talents  and  precocity 
and  development,  and  put  up  one  of  her  own  instead 
which  Tom  thought  much  more  sensible : — 

"  Instruction  sore  long  time  I  bore, 
And  cramming  was  in  vain  ; 
Till  heaven  did  please  my  woes  to  ease, 
With  water  on  the  brain." 

So  Tom  jumped  into  the  sea,  and  swam  on  his  way, 
singing  : — 

"  Farewell,  Tomtoddies  all ;  I  thank  my  stars 
That  nought  I  know  save  those  three  royal  r's : 
Beading  and  riting  sure,  with  rithmetick, 
Will  help  a  lad  of  sense  through  thin  and  thick." 

Whereby  you  may  see  that  Tom  was  no  poet :  but  no 
more  was  John  Bunyan,  though  he  was  as  wise  a  man 
as  you  will  meet  in  a  month  of  Sundays. 

And  next  he  came  to  Oldwivesfabledom,  where  the 
folks  were  all  heathens,  and  worshipped  a  howling  ape. 

And  there  he  found  a  little  boy  sitting  in  the 
middle  of  the  road,  and  crying  bitterly. 

x 


306  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

"  What  are  you  crying  for  ?  "  said  Tom. 

"  Because  I  am  riot  as  frightened  as  I  could  wish 
to  be." 

"  Not  frightened  ?  You  are  a  queer  little  chap : 
but,  if  you  want  to  be  frightened,  here  goes — Boo  ! " 

"  Ah,"  said  the  little  boy,  "  that  is  very  kind  of 
you  ;  but  I  don't  feel  that  it  has  made  any  impression." 

Tom  offered  to  upset  him,  punch  him,  stamp  on 
him,  fettle  him  over  the  head  with  a  brick,  or  anything 
else  whatsoever  which  would  give  him  the  slightest 
comfort. 

But  he  only  thanked  Tom  very  civilly,  in  fine  long 
words  which  he  had  heard  other  folk  use,  and  which 
therefore,  he  thought  were  fit  and  proper  to  use  him- 
self;  and  cried  on  till  his  papa  and  mamma  came,  and 
sent  off  for  the  Powwow  man  immediately.  And  a 
very  good-natured  gentleman  and  lady  they  were, 
though  they  were  heathens ;  and  talked  quite  pleas- 
antly to  Tom  about  his  travels,  till  the  Powwow  man 
arrived,  with  his  thunderbox  under  his  arm. 

And  a  well-fed,  ill-favoured  gentleman  he  was,  as 
ever  served  Her  Majesty  at  Portland.  Tom  was  a 
little  frightened  at  first ;  for  he  thought  it  was  Grimes. 
But  he  soon  saw  his  mistake :  for  Grimes  always 
looked  a  man  in  the  face ;  and  this  fellow  never  did. 
And  when  he  spoke,  it  was  fire  and  smoke ;  and  when 
he  sneezed,  it  was  squibs  and  crackers ;  and  when  he 
cried  (which  he  did  whenever  it  paid  him),  it  was 
boiling  pitch ;  and  some  of  it  was  sure  to  stick. 


vni  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOE,  A  LAND-BABY  307 

"  Here  we  are  again  ! "  cried  he,  like  the  clown 
in  a  pantomime.  "  So  you  can't  feel  frightened, 
my  little  dear — eh  ?  I'll  do  that  for  you.  I'll  make 
an  impression  on  you  !  Yah  !  Boo  !  Whirroo  ! 
Hullabaloo  ! " 

And  he  rattled,  thumped,  brandished  his  thunder- 
box,  yelled,  shouted,  raved,  roared,  stamped,  and  danced 
corrobory  like  any  black  fellow ;  and  then  he  touched 
a  spring  in  the  thunderbox,  and  out  popped  tnrnip- 
ghosts  and  magic-lanthorns  and  pasteboard  bogies  and 
spring-heeled  Jacks,  and  sallaballas,  with  such  a  horrid 
din,  clatter,  clank,  roll,  rattle,  and  roar,  that  the  little 
boy  turned  up  the  whites  of  his  eyes,  and  fainted 
right  away. 

And  at  that  his  poor  heathen  papa  and  mamma 
were  as  much  delighted  as  if  they  had  found  a  gold 
mine ;  and  fell  down  upon  their  knees  before  the  Pow- 
wow man,  and  gave  him  a  palanquin  with  a  pole  of 
solid  silver  and  curtains  of  cloth  of  gold ;  and  carried 
him  about  in  it  on  their  own  backs :  but  as  soon  as 
they  had  taken  him  up,  the  pole  stuck  to  their  shoulders, 
and  they  could  not  set  him  down  any  more,  but  carried 
him  on  willynilly,  as  Sinbad  carried  the  old  man  of 
the  sea :  which  was  a  pitiable  sight  to  see ;  for  the 
father  was  a  very  brave  officer,  and  wore  two  swords 
and  a  blue  button ;  and  the  mother  was  as  pretty  a 
lady  as  ever  had  pinched  feet  like  a  Chinese.  But 
you  see,  they  had  chosen  to  do  a  foolish  thing  just 
once  too  often ;  so,  by  the  laws  of  Mrs.  Bedonebyas- 


308  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

youdid,  they  had  to  go  on  doing  it  whether  they  chose 
or  not,  till  the  coming  of  the  Cocqcigrues. 

Ah !  don't  you  wish  that  some  one  would  go  and 
convert  those  poor  heathens,  and  teach  them  not  to 
frighten  their  little  children  into  fits  ? 

"  Now,  then,"  said  the  Powwow  man  to  Tom, 
"  wouldn't  you  like  to  be  frightened,  my  little  dear  ? 
For  I  can  see  plainly  that  you  are  a  very  wicked, 
naughty,  graceless,  reprobate  boy." 

"You're  another,"  quoth  Tom,  very  sturdily.  And 
when  the  man  ran  at  him,  and  cried  "  Boo  ! "  Tom  ran 
at  him  in  return,  and  cried  "  Boo  ! "  likewise,  right  in 
his  face,  and  set  the  little  dog  upon  him ;  and  at  his 
legs  the  dog  went. 

At  which,  if  you  will  believe  it,  the  fellow  turned 
tail,  thunderbox  and  all,  with  a  "  Woof ! "  like  an  old 
sow  on  the  common ;  and  ran  for  his  life,  screaming, 
"  Help  !  thieves  !  murder  !  fire  !  He  is  going  to  kill 
me  !  I  am  a  ruined  man  !  He  will  murder  me  ;  and 
break,  burn,  and  destroy  my  precious  and  invaluable 
thunderbox  ;  and  then  you  will  have  no  more  thunder- 
showers  in  the  land.      Help  !  help  !  help  ! " 

At  which  the  papa  and  mamma  and  all  the  people 
of  Oldwivesfabledom  flew  at  Tom,  shouting,  "  Oh,  the 
wicked,  impudent,  hard-hearted,  graceless  boy  !  Beat 
him,  kick  him,  shoot  him,  drown  him,  hang  him,  burn 
him  ! "  and  so  forth :  but  luckily  they  had  nothing  to 
shoot,  hang,  or  burn  him  with,  for  the  fairies  had  hid 
all   the   killing -tackle  out  of  the  way  a  little  while 


viii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  309 

before  ;  so  they  could  only  pelt  him  with  stones ;  and 
some  of  the  stones  went  clean  through  him,  and  came 
out  the  other  side.  But  he  did  not  mind  that  a  bit ; 
for  the  holes  closed  up  again  as  fast  as  they  were 
made,  because  he  was  a  water-baby.  However,  he  was 
very  glad  when  he  was  safe  out  of  the  country,  for  the 
noise  there  made  him  all  but  deaf. 

Then  he  came  to  a  very  quiet  place,  called  Leave- 
heavenalone.  And  there  the  sun  was  drawing  water 
out  of  the  sea  to  make  steam -threads,  and  the  wind 
was  twisting  them  up  to  make  cloud-patterns,  till  they 
had  worked  between  them  the  loveliest  wedding  veil 
of  Chantilly  lace,  and  hung  it  up  in  their  own  Crystal 
Palace  for  any  one  to  buy  who  could  afford  it ;  while 
the  good  old  sea  never  grudged,  for  she  knew  they 
would  pay  her  back  honestly.  So  the  sun  span,  and 
the  wind  wove,  and  all  went  well  with  the  great  steam - 
loom ;  as  is  likely,  considering — and  considering — and 
considering — 

And  at  last,  after  innumerable  adventures,  each 
more  wonderful  than  the  last,  he  saw  before  him  a 
huge  building,  much  bigger,  and — what  is  most  sur- 
prising— a  little  uglier  than  a  certain  new  lunatic 
asylum,  but  not  built  quite  of  the  same  materials. 
None  of  it,  at  least — or,  indeed,  for  aught  that  I  ever 
saw,  any  part  of  any  other  building  whatsoever — is 
cased  with  nine-inch  brick  inside  and  out,  and  filled 
up  with  rubble  between  the  walls,  in  order  that  any 
gentleman  wh  o  has  been  confined  during  Her  Majesty's 


310 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


pleasure  may  be  unconfined  during  his  own  pleasure, 
and  take  a  walk  in  the  neighbouring  park  to  improve 
his  spirits,  after  an  hour's  light  and  wholesome  labour 
with  his  dinner-fork  or  one  of  the  legs  of  his  iron 
bedstead.  No.  The  walls  of  this  building  were  built 
on  an  entirely  different  principle,  which  need  not  be 
described,  as  it  has  not  yet  been  discovered. 

Tom  walked  towards  this  great 
building,  wondering  what  it  was,  and 
having  a  strange  fancy  that  he  might 
find  Mr.  Grimes  inside  it,  till  he  saw 
running  toward  him,  and  shouting 
"  Stop ! "  three  or  four  people,  who, 
when  they  came  nearer,  were  nothing 
else  than  policemen's  truncheons,  run- 
ning along  without  legs  or  arms. 

Tom  was  not  astonished.  He  was 
long  past  that.  Besides,  he  had  seen 
the  naviculse  in  the  water  move  no- 
body knows  how,  a  hundred  times, 
without  arms,  or  legs,  or  anything  to 
stand  in  their  stead.  Neither  was  he  frightened ;  for 
he  had  been  doing  no  harm. 

So  he  stopped ;  and,  when  the  foremost  truncheon 
came  up  and  asked  his  business,  he  showed  Mother 
Carey's  pass ;  and  the  truncheon  looked  at  it  in  the 
oddest  fashion ;  for  he  had  one  eye  in  the  middle  of 
his  upper  end,  so  that  when  he  looked  at  anything, 
being  quite  stiff,  he  had  to   slope  himself,  and  poke 


viii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  311 

himself,  till  it  was  a  wonder  why  he  did  not  tumble 
over ;  but,  being  quite  full  of  the  spirit  of  justice  (as 
all  policemen,  and  their  truncheons,  ought  to  be),  he 
was  always  in  a  position  of  stable  equilibrium,  which- 
ever way  he  put  himself. 

"  All  right — pass  on,"  said  he  at  last.  And  then 
he  added :  "  I  had  better  go  with  you,  young  man." 
And  Tom  had  no  objection,  for  such  company  was 
both  respectable  and  safe ;  so  the  truncheon  coiled  its 
thong  neatly  round  its  handle,  to  prevent  tripping  itself 
up — for  the  thong  had  got  loose  in  running — and 
marched  on  by  Tom's  side. 

"  Why  have  you  no  policeman  to  carry  you  ? " 
asked  Tom,  after  a  while. 

"  Because  we  are  not  like  those  clumsy -made 
truncheons  in  the  land-world,  which  cannot  go  without 
having  a  whole  man  to  carry  them  about.  We  do  our 
own  work  for  ourselves ;  and  do  it  very  well,  though 
I  say  it  who  should  not." 

"  Then  why  have  you  a  thong  to  your  handle  ? " 
asked  Tom. 

"To  hang  ourselves  up  by,  of  course,  when  we  are 
off  duty." 

Tom  had  got  his  answer,  and  had  no  more  to  say, 
till  they  came  up  to  the  great  iron  door  of  the  prison. 
And  there  the  truncheon  knocked  twice,  with  its  own 
head. 

A  wicket  in  the  door  opened,  and  out  looked  a 
tremendous  old  brass  blunderbuss  charged  up  to  the 


312 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP. 


muzzle   with   slugs,   who   was   the   porter ;   and    Tom 
started  back  a  little  at  the  sight  of  him. 

"  "What  case  is  this  ? "  he  asked  in  a  deep  voice, 
out  of  his  broad  bell  mouth. 


"  If  you  please,  sir,  it  is  no  case ;  only  a  young 
gentleman  from  her  ladyship,  who  wants  to  see  Grimes, 
the  master-sweep." 

"  Grimes  ?  "  said  the  blunderbuss.  And  he  pulled 
in  his  muzzle,  perhaps  to  look  over  his  prison-lists. 


viii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  313 

"  Grimes  is  up  chimney  No.  345/'  he  said  from 
inside.  "  So  the  young  gentleman  had  better  go  on  to 
the  roof." 

Tom  looked  up  at  the  enormous  wall,  which  seemed 
at  least  ninety  miles  high,  and  wondered  how  he 
should  ever  get  up :  but,  when  he  hinted  that  to  the 
truncheon,  it  settled  the  matter  in  a  moment.  For  it 
whisked  round,  an  I  gave  him  such  a  shove  behind  as 
sent  him  up  to  the  roof  in  no  time,  with  his  little  dog 
under  his  arm. 

And  there  he  walked  along  the  leads,  till  he  met 
another  truncheon,  and  told  him  his  errand. 

"  Very  good,"  it  said.  "  Come  along :  but  it  will 
be  of  no  use.  He  is  the  most  unremorseful,  hard- 
hearted, foul-mouthed  fellow  I  have  in  charge ;  and 
thinks  about  nothing  but  beer  and  pipes,  which  are 
not  allowed  here,  of  course." 

So  they  walked  along  over  the  leads,  and  very 
sooty  they  were,  and  Tom  thought  the  chimneys  must 
want  sweeping  very  much.  But  he  was  surprised  to 
see  that  the  soot  did  not  stick  to  his  feet,  or  dirty 
them  in  the  least.  Neither  did  the  live  coals,  which 
were  lying  about  in  plenty,  burn  him ;  for,  being  a 
water-baby,  his  radical  humours  were  of  a  moist  and 
cold  nature,  as  you  may  read  at  large  in  Lemnius, 
Cardan,  Van  Helmont,  and  other  gentlemen,  who  knew 
as  much  as  they  could,  and  no  man  can  know  more. 

And  at  last  they  came  to  chimney  No.  345.  Out 
of  the  top  of  it,  his  head  and   shoulders  just  showing, 


314 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


stuck  poor  Mr.  Grimes,  so  sooty,  and  "bleared,  and  ugly, 
that  Tom  could  hardly  bear  to  look  at  him.      And  in 


his  mouth  was  a  pipe ;  hut  it  was  not  a-iight ;  though 
he  was  pulling  at  it  with  all  his  might. 


viii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BAP>Y  315 

"Attention,  Mr.  Grimes,"  said  the  truncheon; 
"  here  is  a  gentleman  come  to  see  you." 

But  Mr.  Grimes  only  said  Lad  words ;  and  kept 
grumbling,  "  My  pipe  won't  draw.  My  pipe  won't 
draw." 

"  Keep  a  civil  tongue,  and  attend ! "  said  the 
truncheon ;  and  popped  up  just  like  Punch,  hitting 
Grimes  such  a  crack  over  the  head  with  itself,  that 
his  brains  rattled  inside  like  a  dried  walnut  in  its 
shell.  He  tried  to  get  his  hands  out,  and  rub  the 
place :  but  he  could  not,  for  they  were  stuck  fast  in 
the  chimney.      Now  he  was  forced  to  attend. 

"  Hey  !  "  he  said,  "  why,  it's  Tom  !  I  suppose  you 
have  come  here  to  laugh  at  me,  you  spiteful  little 
atomy  ? " 

Tom  assured  him  he  had  not,  but  only  wanted  to 
help  him. 

"  I  don't  want  anything  except  beer,  and  that  I 
can't  get ;  and  a  light  to  this  bothering  pipe,  and  that 
I  can't  get  either." 

"  I'll  get  you  one,"  said  Tom ;  and  he  took  up  a 
live  coal  (there  were  plenty  lying  about)  and  put  it  to 
Grimes'  pipe :  but  it  went  out  instantly. 

"  It's  no  use,"  said  the  truncheon,  leaning  itself  up 
against  the  chimney  and  looking  on.  "  I  tell  you,  it 
is  no  use.  His  heart  is  so  cold  that  it  freezes  every- 
thing that  comes  near  him.  You  will  see  that  presently, 
plain  enough." 

"  Oh,  of  course,  it's  my  fault.      Everything's  always 


316  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

my  fault,"  said  Grimes.  "  Now  don't  go  to  hit  me 
again  "  (for  the  truncheon  started  upright,  and  looked 
very  wicked) ;  "  you  know,  if  my  arms  were  only  free, 
you  daren't  hit  me  then." 

The  truncheon  leant  back  against  the  chimney,  and 
took  no  notice  of  the  personal  insult,  like  a  well-trained 
policeman  as  it  was,  though  he  was  ready  enough  to 
avenge  any  transgression  against  morality  or  order. 

"  But  can't  I  help  you  in  any  other  way  ?  Can't 
I  help  you  to  get  out  of  this  chimney  ? "  said  Tom. 

"  No,"  interposed  the  truncheon  ;  "  he  has  come  to 
the  place  where  everybody  must  help  themselves  ;  and 
he  will  find  it  out,  I  hope,  before  he  has  done  with 
me." 

"  Oh,  yes,"  said  Grimes,  "  of  course  it's  me.  Did  I 
ask  to  be  brought  here  into  the  prison  ?  Did  I  ask 
to  be  set  to  sweep  your  foul  chimneys  ?  Did  I  ask 
to  have  lighted  straw  put  under  me  to  make  me  go 
up  ?  Did  I  ask  to  stick  fast  in  the  very  first  chimney  of 
all,  because  it  was  so  shamefully  clogged  up  with  soot  ? 
Did  I  ask  to  stay  here — I  don't  know  how  long — a 
hundred  years,  I  do  believe,  and  never  get  my  pipe, 
nor  my  beer,  nor  nothing  fit  for  a  beast,  let  alone  a 
man  ? " 

"  No,"  answered  a  solemn  voice  behind.  "  No 
more  did  Tom,  when  you  behaved  to  him  in  the  very 
same  way." 

It  was  Mrs.  Bedonebyasyoudid.  And,  when  the 
truncheon  saw  her,  it  started  bolt  upright — Attention  ■ 


vin  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  317 

— and  made  such  a  low  bow,  that  if  it  had  not  been 
full  of  the  spirit  of  justice,  it  must  have  tumbled  on 
its  end,  and  probably  hurt  its  one  eye.  And  Tom 
made  his  bow  too. 

"  Oh,  ma'am,"  he  said,  "  don't  think  about  me ; 
that's  all  past  and  gone,  and  good  times  and  bad  times 
and  all  times  pass  over.  But  may  not  I  help  poor 
Mr.  Grimes  ?  Mayn't  I  try  and  get  some  of  these 
bricks  away,  that  he  may  move  his  arms  ? " 

"  You  may  try,  of  course,"  she  said. 

So  Tom  pulled  and  tugged  at  the  bricks :  but  he 
could  not  move  one.  And  then  he  tried  to  wipe  Mr. 
Grimes'  face :  but  the  soot  would  not  come  off. 

"  Oh,  dear  !  "  he  said.  "  I  have  come  all  this  way, 
through  all  these  terrible  places,  to  help  you,  and  now 
I  am  of  no  use  at  all." 

"  You  had  best  leave  me  alone,"  said  Grimes ;  "  you 
are  a  good-natured  forgiving  little  chap,  and  that's 
truth  ;  but  you'd  best  be  off.  The  hail's  coming  on 
soon,  and  it  will  beat  the  eyes  out  of  your  little  head." 

«  What  hail  ?  " 

"  Why,  hail  that  falls  every  evening  here ;  and,  till 
it  comes  close  to  me,  it's  like  so  much  warm  rain :  but 
then  it  turns  to  hail  over  my  head,  and  knocks  me 
about  like  small  shot." 

"  That  hail  will  never  come  any  more,"  said  the 
strange  lady.  "  I  have  told  you  before  what  it  was. 
It  was  your  mother's  tears,  those  which  she  shed  when 
she   prayed  for  you   by  her   bedside ;   but  your   cold 


318  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

heart  froze  *it  into  hail.  But  she  is  gone  to  heaven 
now,  and  will  weep  no  more  for  her  graceless  son." 

Then  Grimes  was  silent  awhile  ;  and  then  he  looked 
very  sad. 

"  So  my  old  mother's  gone,  and  I  never  there  to 
speak  to  her !  Ah !  a  good  woman  she  was,  and 
might  have  been  a  happy  one,  in  her  little  school  there 
in  Yendale,  if  it  hadn't  been  for  me  and  my  bad  ways." 

"  Did  she  keep  the  school  in  Yendale  ? "  asked 
Tom.  And  then  he  told  Grimes  all  the  story  of  his 
going  to  her  house,  and  how  she  could  not  abide  the 
sight  of  a  chimney-sweep,  and  then  how  kind  she  was, 
and  how  he  turned  into  a  water-baby. 

"  Ah  !  "  said  Grimes,  "  good  reason  she  had  to  hate 
the  sight  of  a  chimney-sweep.  I  ran  away  from  her 
and  took  up  with  the  sweeps,  and  never  let  her  know 
where  I  was,  nor  sent  her  a  penny  to  help  her,  and 
now  it's  too  late — too  late  ! "  said  Mr.  Grimes. 

And  he  began  crying  and  blubbering  like  a  great 
baby,  till  his  pipe  dropped  out  of  his  mouth,  and  broke 
all  to  bits. 

"  Oh,  dear,  if  I  was  but  a  little  chap  in  Vendale 
again,  to  see  the  clear  beck,  and  the  apple- orchard,  and 
the  yew-hedge,  how  different  I  would  go  on  !  But  it's 
too  late  now.  So  you  go  along,  you  kind  little  chap, 
and  don't  stand  to  look  at  a  man  crying,  that's  old 
enough  to  be  your  father,  and  never  feared  the  face  of 
man,  nor  of  worse  neither.  But  I'm  beat  now,  and 
beat  I  must  be.      I've  made  my  bed,  and  I  must  lie 


vni  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  319 

on  it.  Foul  I  would  be,  and  foul  I  am,  as  an  Irish- 
woman said  to  me  once ;  and  little  I  heeded  it. 
It's  all  my  own  fault :  but  it's  too  late."  And  he 
cried  so  bitterly  that  Tom  began  crying  too. 

"Never  too  late,"  said  the  fairy,  in  such  a  strange 
soft  new  voice  that  Tom  looked  up  at  her;  and  she 
was  so  beautiful  for  the  moment,  that  Tom  half  fancied 
she  was  her  sister. 

No  more  was  it  too  late.  For,  as  poor  Grimes 
cried  and  blubbered  on,  his  own  tears  did  what  his 
mother's  could  not  do,  and  Tom's  could  not  do,  and 
nobody's  on  earth  could  do  for  him ;  for  they  washed 
the  soot  off  his  face  and  off  his  clothes  ;  and  then  they 
washed  the  mortar  away  from  between  the  bricks  ;  and 
the  chimney  crumbled  down ;  and  Grimes  began  to 
get  out  of  it. 

Up  jumped  the  truncheon,  and  was  going  to  hit 
him  on  the  crown  a  tremendous  thump,  and  drive  him 
down  again  like  a  cork  into  a  bottle.  But  the  strange 
lady  put  it  aside. 

"  Will  you  obey  me  if  I  give  you  a  chance  ? " 

"  As  you  please,  ma'am.  You're  stronger  than  me 
— that  I  know  too  well,  and  wiser  than  me,  I  know 
too  well  also.  And,  as  for  being  my  own  master,  I've 
fared  ill  enough  with  that  as  yet.  So  whatever  your 
ladyship  pleases  to  order  me ;  for  I'm  beat,  and  that's 
the  truth." 

"  Be  it  so  then — you  may  come  out.  But  remember, 
disobey  me  again,  and  into  a  worse  place  still  you  go." 


320  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

"  I  beg  pardon,  ma'am,  but  I  never  disobeyed  you 
that  I  know  of.  I  never  had  the  honour  of  setting 
eyes  upon  you  till  I  came  to  these  ugly  quarters." 

"  Never  saw  me  ?  Who  said  to  you,  Those  that 
will  be  foul,  foul  they  will  be  ? " 

Grimes  looked  up ;  and  Tom  looked  up  too ;  for 
the  voice  was  that  of  the  Irishwoman  who  met  them 
the  day  that  they  went  out  together  to  Harthover.  "  I 
gave  you  your  warning  then :  but  you  gave  it  yourself 
a  thousand  times  before  and  since.  Every  bad  word 
that  you  said — every  cruel  and  mean  thing  that  you 
did — every  time  that  you  got  tipsy — every  day  that 
you  went  dirty — you  were  disobeying  me,  whether  you 
knew  it  or  not." 

"  If  I'd  only  known,  ma'am " 

"  You  knew  well  enough  that  you  were  disobeying 
something,  though  you  did  not  know  it  was  me.  But 
come  out  and  take  your  chance.  Perhaps  it  may  be 
your  last." 

So  Grimes  stepped  out  of  the  chimney,  and  really, 
if  it  had  not  been  for  the  scars  on  his  face,  he  looked 
as  clean  and  respectable  as  a  master-sweep  need  look. 

"  Take  him  away,"  said  she  to  the  truncheon,  "  and 
give  him  his  ticket-of-leave." 

"  And  what  is  he  to  do,  ma'am  ?  " 

"Get  him  to  sweep  out  the  crater  of  Etna;  he  will 
find  some  very  steady  men  working  out  their  time 
there,  who  will  teach  him  his  business :  but  mind,  if 
that  crater  gets  choked  again,  and  there  is  an  earth- 


vin  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  321 

qiiake  in  consequence,  bring  them  all  to  nie,  and  I 
shall  investigate  the  case  very  severely." 

So  the  truncheon  marched  off  Mr.  Grimes,  looking 
as  meek  as  a  a  "owned  worm. 

And  for  aught  I  know,  or  do  not  know,  he  is  sweep- 
ing the  crater  of  Etna  to  this  very  day. 

"  And  now,"  said  the  fairy  to  Tom,  "  your  work 
here  is  done.      You  may  as  well  go  back  again." 

"  I  should  be  glad  enough  to  go,"  said  Tom,  "  but 
how  am  I  to  get  up  that  great  hole  again,  now  the 
steam  has  stopped  blowing  ?  " 

"  I  will  take  you  up  the  backstairs :  but  I  must 
bandage  your  eyes  first ;  for  I  never  allow  anybody  to 
see  those  backstairs  of  mine." 

"  I  am  sure  I  shall  not  tell  anybody  about  them, 
ma'am,  if  you  bid  me  not." 

"  Aha !  So  you  think,  my  little  man.  But  you 
would  soon  forget  your  promise  if  you  got  back  into 
the  land-world.  For,  if  people  only  once  found  out 
that  you  had  been  up  my  backstairs,  you  would  have 
all  the  fine  ladies  kneeling  to  you,  and  the  rich  men 
emptying  their  purses  before  you,  and  statesmen  offer- 
ing you  place  and  power ;  and  young  and  old,  rich  and 
poor,  crying  to  you,  '  Only  tell  us  the  great  backstairs 
secret,  and  we  will  be  your  slaves ;  we  will  make  you 
lord,  king,  emperor,  bishop,  archbishop,  pope,  if  you 
like — only  tell  us  the  secret  of  the  backstairs.  For 
thousands  of  years  we  have  been  paying,  and  petting, 
and  obeying,  and  worshipping  quacks  who  told  us  they 

Y 


322 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


had  the  key  of  the  backstairs,  and  could  smuggle  us 
up  them  ;  and  in  spite  of  all  our  disappointu^nts,  we 
will  honour,  and  glorify,  and  adore,  and  beatify,  and 
translate,  and  apotheotise  you  likewise,  on  the  chance 
of  your  knowing  something  about  the  backstairs,  that 
we  may  all  go  on  pilgrimage  to  it ;  and,  even  if  we 
cannot  get  up  it,  lie  at  the  foot  of  it,  and  cry — 


'  Oh,  backstairs, 
precious  backstairs, 
invaluable  backstairs, 
requisite  backstairs, 
necessary  backstairs, 
good-natured  backstairs, 
cosmopolitan  backstairs, 
comprehensive  backstairs, 
accommodating  backstairs, 
ivell-bred  backstairs, 
commercial  backstairs, 
economical  backstairs, 
practical  backstairs, 
logical  backstairs, 
deductive  backstairs. 


comfortable  backstairs, 
humane  backstairs, 
reasonable  backstairs, 
long-sought  backstairs, 
coveted  backstairs, 
aristocratic  backstairs, 
respectable  backstairs, 
gentlemanlike  backstairs, 
ladylike  backstairs, 
orthodox  backstairs, 
probable  backstairs, 
credible  backstairs, 
demonstrable  backstairs, 
irrefragable  backstairs, 


potent  backstairs, 

all-but-omnipotent  backstairs, 

&c. 


Save  us  from  the  consequences  of  our  own  actions,  and 
from   the  cruel  fairy,  Mrs.  Bedonebyasyoudid  ! '     Do 


vin  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  323 

not  you  think  that  you  would  be  a  little  tempted 
then  to  tell  what  you  know,  laddie  ?  " 

Tom  thought  so  certainly.  "  But  why  do  they 
want  so  to  know  about  the  backstairs  ? "  asked  he, 
being  a  little  frightened  at  the  long  words,  and  not 
understanding  them  the  least ;  as,  indeed,  he  was  not 
meant  to  do,  or  you  either. 

"  That  I  shall  not  tell  you.  I  never  put  things 
into  little  folks'  heads  which  are  but  too  likely  to  come 
there  of  themselves.  So  come — now  I  must  bandage 
your  eyes."  So  she  tied  the  bandage  on  his  eyes  with 
one  hand,  and  with  the  other  she  took  it  off. 

"  Now,"  she  said,  "  you  are  safe  up  the  stairs." 
Tom  opened  his  eyes  very  wide,  and  his  mouth  too  ; 
for  he  had  not,  as  he  thought,  moved  a  single  step, 
But,  when  he  looked  round  him,  there  could  be  no 
doubt  that  he  was  safe  up  the  backstairs,  whatsoever 
they  may  be,  which  no  man  is  going  to  tell  you,  for 
the  plain  reason  that  no  man  knows. 

The   first   thing   which   Tom   saw   was   the   black 

cedars,  high  and  sharp  against  the  rosy  dawn ;  and  St. 

Brandan's  Isle  reflected  double  in  the  still  broad  silver 

sea.      The  wind   sang   softly  in   the    cedars,  and   the 

water  sang  among  the  caves  :  the  sea-birds  sang  as  they 

streamed  out  into  the  ocean,  and  the  land-birds  as  they 

built  among  the  boughs ;  and  the  air  was  so  full  of 

song  that  it  stirred  St.   Brandan  and  his  hermits,  as 

they  slumbered  in  the  shade ;  and  they  moved  their 

good  old  lips,  and  sang  their  morning  hymn  amid  their 

Y  2 


324 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


dreams.  But  among  all  the  songs  one  came  across  the 
water  more  sweet  and  clear  than  all ;  for  it  was  the 
song  of  a  young  girl's  voice. 

And  what  was  the  song  which  she  sang  ?     Ah,  my 
little  man,  I  am  too  old  to  sing  that  song,  and  you  too 


young  to  understand  it.  But  have  patience,  and  keep 
your  eye  single,  and  your  hands  clean,  and  you  will 
learn  some  day  to  sing  it  yourself,  without  needing  any 
man  to  teach  you. 

And  as  Tom  neared  the  island,  there  sat  upon  a 
rock   the  most  graceful  creature   that  ever  was  seen, 


viii  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  325 

looking  down,  with  her  chin  upon  her  hand,  and 
paddling  with  her  feet  in  the  water.  And  when  they 
came  to  her  she  looked  up,  and  behold  it  was  Ellie. 

"  Oh,  Miss  Ellie,"  said  he,  "  how  you  are  grown  ! " 

"  Oh,  Tom,"  said  she,  "  how  you  are  grown  too  ! " 

And  no  wonder ;  they  were  both  quite  grown  up — 
he  into  a  tall  man,  and  she  into  a  beautiful  woman. 

"  Perhaps  I  may  be  grown,"  she  said.  "  I  have 
had  time  enough  ;  for  I  have  been  sitting  here  waiting 
for  you  many  a  hundred  years,  till  I  thought  you  were 
never  coming." 

"  Many  a  hundred  years  ? "  thought  Tom  ;  but  he 
had  seen  so  much  in  his  travels  that  he  had  quite 
given  up  being  astonished ;  and,  indeed,  he  could  think 
of  nothing  but  Ellie.  So  he  stood  and  looked  at  Ellie, 
and  Ellie  looked  at  him ;  and  they  liked  the  employ- 
ment so  much  that  they  stood  and  looked  for  seven 
years  more,  and  neither  spoke  nor  stirred. 

At  last  they  heard  the  fairy  say :  "  Attention, 
children.      Are  you  never  going  to  look  at  me  again  ?  " 

"  We  have  been  looking  at  you  all  this  while,"  they 
said.     And  so  they  thought  they  had  been. 

"  Then  look  at  me  once  more,"  said  she. 

They  looked — and  both  of  them  cried  out  at  once, 
"  Oh,  who  are  you,  after  all  ?  " 

"You  are  our  dear  Mrs.  Doasyouwouldbedoneby." 

"  No,  you  are  good  Mrs.  Bedonebyasyoudid ;  but 
you  are  grown  quite  beautiful  now  ! " 

"  To  you,"  said  the  fairy.      "  But  look  again." 


326  THE  WATER-BABIES  chap. 

"  You  are  Mother  Carey,"  said  Tom,  in  a  very  low, 
solemn  voice ;  for  he  had  found  out  something  which 
made  him  very  happy,  and  yet  frightened  him  more 
than  all  that  he  had  ever  seen. 

"  But  you  are  grown  quite  young  again." 

"  To  you,"  said  the  fairy.      "  Look  again." 

"  You  are  the  Irishwoman  who  met  me  the  day  I 
went  to  Harthover  !  " 

And  when  they  looked  she  was  neither  of  them, 
and  yet  all  of  them  at  once. 

"  My  name  is  written  in  my  eyes,  if  you  have  eyes 
to  see  it  there." 

And  they  looked  into  her  great,  deep,  soft  eyes,  and 
they  changed  again  and  again  into  every  hue,  as  the 
light  changes  in  a  diamond. 

"  Now  read  my  name,"  said  she,  at  last. 

And  her  eyes  flashed,  for  one  moment,  clear,  white, 
blazing  light :  but  the  children  could  not  read  her 
name ;  for  they  were  dazzled,  and  hid  their  faces  in 
their  hands. 

"  Not  yet,  young  things,  not  yet,"  said  she,  smiling ; 
and  then  she  turned  to  Ellie. 

"  You  may  take  him  home  with  you  now  on 
Sundays,  Ellie.  He  has  won  his  spurs  in  the  great 
battle,  and  become  fit  to  go  with  you  and  be  a  man ; 
because  he  has  done  the  thing  he  did  not  like." 

So  Tom  went  home  with  Ellie  on  Sundays,  and 
sometimes  on  week-days,  too ;  and  he  is  now  a  great 
man  of  science,  and   can   plan  railroads,  and  steam- 


vin  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  327 

engines,  and  electric  telegraphs,  and  rifled  guns,  and 
so  forth ;  and  knows  everything  about  everything, 
except  why  a  hen's  egg  don't  turn  into  a  crocodile, 
and  two  or  three  other  little  things  which  no  one 
will  know  till  the  coming  of  the  Cocqcigrues.  And  all 
this  from  what  he  learnt  when  he  was  a  water-baby, 
underneath  the  sea. 

"  And  of  course  Tom  married  Ellie  ? " 

My  dear  child,  what  a  silly  notion !  Don't  you 
know  that  no  one  ever  marries  in  a  fairy  tale,  under 
the  rank  of  a  prince  or  a  princess  ? 

"  And  Tom's  dog  ?  " 

Oh,  you  may  see  him  any  clear  night  in  July;  for 
the  old  dog-star  was  so  worn  out  by  the  last  three  hot 
summers  that  there  have  been  no  dog-days  since ;  so 
that  they  had  to  take  him  down  and  put  Tom's  dog 
up  in  his  place.  Therefore,  as  new  brooms  sweep 
clean,  we  may  hope  for  some  warm  weather  this  year. 
And  that  is  the  end  of  my  story. 


328  THE  WATER-BABIES 


MOKAL. 

And  now,  my  dear  little  man,  what  should  we  learn 
from  this  parable  ? 

We  should  learn  thirty-seven  or  thirty-nine  things,  1 
am  not  exactly  sure  which :  but  one  thing,  at  least,  we 
may  learn,  and  that  is  this — when  we  see  efts  in  the 
jpond,  never  to  throw  stones  at  them,  or  catch  them  with 
crooked  pins,  or  put  them  into  vivariums  with  stickle- 
backs, that  the  sticklebacks  may  prick  them  in  their  poor 
little  stomachs,  and  make  them  jump  out  of  the  glass  into 
somebody's  work-box,  and  so  come  to  a  bad  end.  For 
these  efts  are  nothing  else  but  the  water-babies  who  are 
stupid  and  dirty,  and  will  not  learn  their  lessons  and 
keep  themselves  clean;  and,  therefore  (as  comparative 
anatomists  will  tell  you  fifty  years  hence,  though  they  are 
not  learned  enough  to  tell  you  now),  their  skulls  grow 
flat,  their  jaws  grow  out,  and  their  brains  grow  small, 
and  their  tails  grow  long,  and  they  lose  all  their  ribs 
(which  I  am  sure  you  would  not  like  to  do),  and  their 
skins  grow  dirty  and  spotted,  and  they  never  get  into  the 
clear  rivers,  much  less  into  the  great  wide  sea,  but  hang 
about  in  dirty  ponds,  and  live  in  the  mud,  and  eat 
worms,  as  they  deserve  to  do. 

But  that  is  no  reason  why  you  should  ill-use  them : 
but  only  why  you  should  pity  them,  and  be  kind  to  them, 


vni  A  FAIRY  TALE  FOR  A  LAND-BABY  329 

and  hope  that  some  day  they  vnll  wake  up,  and  be 
ashamed  of  their  nasty,  dirty,  lazy,  stupid  life,  and  try 
to  amend,  and  become  something  better  once  more.  For, 
perhaps,  if  they  do  so,  then  after  379,423  years,  nine 
months,  thirteen  days,  two  hours,  and  twenty-one  minutes 
(for  aught  that  appears  to  the  contrary),  if  they  work 
very  hard  and  vjash  very  hard  all  that  time,  their  brains 
may  grow  bigger,  and  their  jaws  grow  smaller,  and  their 
ribs  come  bach,  and  their  tails  wither  off,  and  they  will 
turn  into  water-babies  again,  and  perhaps  after  that  into 
land-babies  ;  and  after  that  perhaps  into  grown  men. 

You  know  they  won't  ?  Very  well,  I  daresay  you 
knoiv  best.  But  you  see,  some  folks  have  a  great  liking 
for  those  poor  little  efts.  They  never  did  anybody  any 
harm,  or  could  if  they  tried  ;  and  their  only  faidt  is,  that 
they  do  no  good — any  more  than  some  thousands  of  their 
betters.  But  what  with  ducks,  and  what  with  pike,  and 
what  with  sticklebacks,  and  what  with  water-beetles,  and 
what  with  naughty  boys,  they  are  "  sae  sair  hadden  doun," 
as  the  Scotsmen  say,  that  it  is  a  wonder  how  they  live  ; 
and  some  folks  can't  help  hoping,  with  good  Bishop 
Butler,  that  they  may  have  another  chance,  to  make  things 
fair  and  even,  somewhere,  somewhen,  somehow. 

Meanwhile,  do  you  learn  your  lessons,  and  thank  God 
that  you  have  plenty  of  cold  water  to  wash  in  ;  and  wash 
in  it  too,  like  a  true  Englishman.  And  then,  if  my 
story  is  not  true,  something  better  is  ;  and  if  I  am  not 
quite  right,  still  you  will  be,  as  long  as  you  stick  to  hard 
work  and  cold  water. 


330 


THE  WATER-BABIES 


CHAP.  VIII 


But  remember  alviays,  as  I  told  you  at  first,  that  this 
is  all  a  fairy  tale,  and  only  fun  and  pretence :  and, 
therefore,  you  are  not  to  believe  a  word  of  it,  even  if  it 
is  true. 


